This is a touchy subject.
I was older with my second child so my ratios of complications were higher just due to my age. I'd had years of fertility issues and wasn't the healthiest throughout my pregnancy. Early tests showed certain markers, but I refused amnio.
For one thing, I have been blessed enough to know children with Down's Syndrome and not one of them is "severely" disabled. They go to regular schools, church, have siblings. They are a joy to everyone as the individuals that they are.
No one asks for a child with disabilities....we all pray for happy healthy children. But, sometimes happy and healthy is a relative term. The Down's kids I know are truly happy and healthy.
My son, for all the fears and problems I had, was born perfectly healthy with none of the things I could have scared myself out of my mind about.
I had no regrets about refusing certain tests at the time and I have no regrets now.
It's normal to be frightened. I think one of our biggest fears as moms is that our children will be born challenged in some way. But, they used to consider being left handed as "challenged". My dad's teachers used to try to "train" him to use his other hand when he was a small child.
We have more lefties than righties in the family.
I know it's not the same thing, but I'm just saying that some of it is about perspective.
Not all that long ago, they used to institutionalize Down's babies all of their lives and it's so heartbreaking to me.
I could never have let that happen to my own baby. Just my personal opinion.
I'm pro choice, but I think some of the stuff we get scared about never comes to pass. I bled heavily in the first part of my pregnancy with my son and they said to prepare myself because it wasn't a viable pregnancy. He and I almost didn't make it several times because of complications.
15 years later, I have the most beautiful son anyone could ever ask for. He fought for his life from the very beginning and I just told myself that the least I could do was give him the chance to come into this world if it was meant to be.
I can't imagine my life without him.
I wish you the best and I hope that you get the reassurance you need.
Try not to worry too much. It's not good for you, whatever you decide.