I have a 1 year old daughter who recently started bonking her head with her hands when things don't go her way. She seems to do it more when she is tired, and when I tell her "no" or to stop doing something. She also will do it when she is playing with others and they take the toy she is playing with. My husband thinks this is fairly normal for her age, but I am not sure. She has always been a really happy baby, and that doesn't seem to have changed. Has anyone else had this problem? Do you have any suggestions for me to get her to stop it? Thanks for your help!
Thank you for all of your input. It is nice to know that we are not the only one going through the "head banging" phase. I will take all of your advise and ignore her behavior and distract her to other things. All the best!
I can't say my kids have done this, but I was a head-banger as a kid. In fact I put a dent in the drywall of my bedroom wall using nothing but my noggin. My mom moved the dresser so that it covered up the dent and told me to cut it out.
Parenting was a lot easier before we all knew there was so much to worry about, I think.
My daughter, now 19 months, used to hit herself in the head whenever we told her no or she didn't get what she wanted. She would also headbutt when she didn't get her way. It only lasted a couple of months and she doesn't do it anymore. I think she mainly did it when she was tired, and because she didn't have the verbal skills yet - so she was easily frustrated. But after she got older and was talking more, she stopped! Hope that helps.
perfectly normal. my twins do it. zthe boy has since out grown it. It lasted for about 5 months.
It's most likely a phase. My son did this too. Some babies need this to help them fall asleep. I discussed this with my ped. and she said to just ignore him when he does this, that they rarely hit their heads hard enough to hurt themselves. We ignored him and the phase passed very quickly.
My daughter did the same thing except she would get down on all fours and bang her head on the floor. They best way to get her to stop, is
A. Distract her, instead of telling her "no" point her in anouther direction and thus you will avoid her getting upset, instead of telling her to "stop it" when she is doing somthing that is wrong, distract her with somthing else or just explain to her why she shouldn't be doing what it is you don't want her to do, then ask her if she wants to read a book or have some milk or play a game. Even though she is only one explaining things to her is good even though she may not know everything you are saying, because it's your tone of voice rather than the words, and eventually she will catch on. I always use the word no for only emergencies only, that way it's more effective.
B. Let her bang her head and don't make a big deal about it, don't say no or she will do it more just to get a reaction from you, distract her (see above). Unless she is going to hurt herself then step in, otherwise ignore it and act like it never happend.
Your daughter will grow out of this (quicker if you ignore it) My daughter only did it for a couple of months and has not done it since, she started around a year, she is 20 months now and has not done it since then, it will pass.
I agree with your husband and think it's totally normal. Kids get frustrated and don't know how to express themselves. Both my girls did some kind of head banging but it doesn't last. Just ignore it.
Hi E.,
When my daughter was that age, she used to drop to the ground and bash her face into the floor. My now ex-husband used to yell at me to make her stop. I used to say that once she hurt herself, she'd stop. I made myself ignore her. I didn't walk away from her (didn't want to create abandonment issues), I just didn't give in or bring attention to what she was doing. Honestly, it didn't last very long. She just found other ways to have tantrums-you know, the screaming crying, etc. To pay her a lot of attention-even telling her to stop--just gets her what she wants--attention. Good or bad, it's attention. It is sooo totally normal even for the most mild mannered child to start doing what your child is doing. They are just so frustrated because they want something, they can't get their point across, and "no" just isn't the answer they can deal with. I tried hard to not actually say, "no" unless she did something that was harmful. I'd just say, "we'll do that later or let's do...this instead." There is no easy way to deal with tantrums. In my experience, it gets worse as they get older, so stay patient & calm--a nice glass of wine helps too! So what if it's 8am?! A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.
Good luck.
M.
My daughter started doing that just after she turned 1. She did it for a month or 2 and then stopped. I think they are frustrated that they want to do so many more things than they are able to and their little emotions are so immature they don't know how to handle it. At first I would react strongly and I think that made her do it more to get the attention. If I had it to do over again, I would just address her frustration point when she did it and ignore the actual head hitting. Good luck to you! I'm sure it's just a phase...
One of my sons did that. When I was telling the doctor about it, he got down off my lap and banged his head on the floor. The doctor said not to mention it again and that he wouldn't hurt himself. It worked. Without the attention, he stopped eventually and moved on to new and better ways to entertain us.
Good luck.
totally normal. i taught my daughter to say need help very early. i would tell her that i knew she was upset before she couldn't get 'x' to work right and i would have repeat need help and then i'd help her. it wasn't long before she would say need help when she got frustrated. i am glad that these words are ingrained now that she is three and dressing herself. good luck!
My 13 month does the same thing. When he doesn't get his way he falls out and throws his head back. When I does this I make sure he is on the carpet and not the kitchen floor and just let him be. I try not to pay him any attention and that really seems to work. I really do think it's their way of communicating since they can't verbally say what they want. He hits himself in the head from time to time and has been doing so for about 2 months now. I'm not sure what it's about but I'm sure it's a phase just like the other moms stated. If you are still concerned I would definitely ask the ped when you take your daughter to her next well visit.
Hi E.,
My son did this for a while. I asked the doctor as I thought it was a sign of Autism. But she assured me to just ignore it and he will stop it.
He did! So be assured it's usually just a phase. If you're still concerned at her 15 month appointment or so....ask the doctor. but if she's developing normally then I would say it's just a phase.
good luck and hope I've helped!
B.
E.,
Every child is different and I don't want to scare you, but I do want you to be prepared and knowledgeable if in the event it does happen, you will know what to do and how to help her without going through what I did. My daughter did do this, but it got worse and we found out she has autism. I was alone with no help and people kept telling me she would outgrow it, but nothing helped and I couldn't communicate with her. I started using Sign Language and that helped her to calm down and "talk" to me. Now she talks and yes still has some speech delays but is normal in most every other way. Sometimes it is just a phase, other times it's not. I will say that doing what the other post suggested is a great idea to start and if at her 15 month check up she is still doing it, then ask her doctor about the other signs of autism.
I have 4 children and recall all of them bumping his/her head at one time or another when they were babies. One of my sons would routinely do it when I laid him down for his nap. I think that the rhythm was soothing for him. My youngest child is 11 months old and he has just started with the bonking, almost exactly as you describe it. He's a very content, laid-back little guy but recently, he'll bump his head on the floor over and over if he's tired or doesn't get his way. I think that I agree with your husband that it is typical for this age, but if you see other changes in your daughter, like she stops babbling/talking, withdraws from you, or regresses in development, you should definitely contact your pediatrician. Sounds like she's a happy little girl, though, who's just found a way to get her frustration out.
Ding-ding! Round 1!
Of course, you should watch for other signs of autism to be sure, but I wouldn't loose sleep over it just yet. You've already gotten some very good advice, the very best of which is stay calm. Make sure she doesn't hurt herself, but you have to let her know that headbanging gets her nothing but a headache. Like the other lady said, stay with her, just don't pay attention to her otherwise.
Tiny kids get frustrated easily because of the lack of communication skills. Try sign language with her, seriously. They really do understand SO much more than we give them credit for, they just can't answer back verbally. I know a kid who's about 10 months old who signs and makes herself understood.
I didn't do sign, but then, I didn't have a headbanger! Got lucky and have a pretty laid back girl.
Hi E.~
My two boys do the same thing! They are 4 and 2. It just started up a few months ago... must be a trend... the new "thing to do." ;) I haven't been too concerned about it. I did start telling them that they don't get what they want if they do that... then I follow up on it. If they do that while a movie is on, I turn it off, or I take away the toy that caused the problem, or I separate them when they're wrestling. Both of my boys are developing normally physically and mentally, as far as I can tell. That makes me think it's more just a kind of response to emotion. I don't like it, and I want it to stop, but I'm not worried about it. With consistent response from me, the behavior has subsided a good deal.
Hope this helps. Good luck with your new business.
~J.
