10 Month Having Tantrums?

Mine did too and I bought the Happiest Toddler on the Block book, they just came out with a revsion in August. My husband and I both read it and found its solutions to be very effective. Easy and simple read too. She is 16m and still throws a few, but when you do walk away, they realize you are not going to give in and she chases us down wanting to be comforted. :) She's a very "spirited" child needless to say...

Happy Holidays,
J.

As you can probably see by the other posts this is a totally normal stage. It's important to realize that your child is not old enough to attempt to manipulate you but is coming into his own sense of himself as a separate person with his own desires. So while you have to set boundries you don't want to treat him like a little prisoner for expressing himself for the first time in his life! I agree that different circumstances call for different actions. SOmetimes they are overwhelmed, overstimulated and it is best to remove them from the situation. (i.e. don't take your 10 month old shopping all day and expect him not to have a tantrum!) Diapering was a huge problem for mine too. I got through it with singing, funny voice and other distractions and as quickly as possible helped him to potty train. If they are fighting alot they are probably going to be the independent type which in the long run is good. Yes correct the behavior in a firm and loving way and don't expect them to get it immediately.

We taught our daughter sign language - started it as soon as she started becoming more independent. That was the best thing ever. "They say" (whoever "they" is) that most tantrums are because they can't talk, so they can't clearly express what they want...and frustrated when we don't know. We taught our daughter: more, eat, drink, tired, please, and hurt - those were the big ones. We bought Baby Wordsworth (Baby Einstein) and Talking Hands DVDs and we sat with her and watched them so we could learn too. It was FABULOUS! Our friend taught their daughter signs too and added "dirty" for dirty diaper - her daughter would run up to her making the sign when she needed to be changed. Both of our children had very few meltdowns (and they have very different personalities) and I truly believe it was because they could communicate with us.

Good luck!

M.~
I definitely feel for you! Basically the one thing I have done with our daughter thats currently 16 months. Everytime she has something that I dont want her to have or that I want etc. I just say..."Em thank you for getting that for mommy!" I also wait until she gives it to me. This might take practice since it's new for you guys but in the end she loves the praise that she gets from doing something good. We have days where she isn't as quick to give it back etc. but when she throws a tantrum I ignore it. She can scream as loud as she wants but she will not be rewarded for it. It takes awhile to tune it out but you can do it:) Good Luck!

Hi M.,
It sounds to me that you have entered the very fun stage of tantrums. My little guy who will be 9 months here in a couple days has started throwing fits as well. I calmly talk to him explaining why he can't have whatever it is that he wants or why we need to do whatever it is he doesn't want to do. Being that we have just started this phase and he is pretty young that is how I have chosen to start dealing with it. As my child gets older I am sure that we will resort to harsher discipline such as time outs or sending him to his room. I wish you much patience as you find your way with this phase. Your baby boy WILL grow out of it!!

Sorry I have to laugh b/c I have been dealing with this
too. Such a drama queen my daughter is. Drops to the floor instantly if you take something away. I am hoping it's just a stage. If she has something she shouldn't, I take it away but replace it with something else. Sometimes I just let her cry it out and laugh knowing what my future entails! Laughter is the BEST medicine. Changing her diaper I just give her something to keep her occupied b/c she is a bare to change these days! Good luck, this too shall pass....hopefully-LOL!

My 3 older kids all went thru that around the same age. While I used words to let them know what I thought about their behavior, they were too young to really understand. So we used sign language and facial expressions a LOT to also get the point across. I don't know if all kids are like this, but my children respond to visual cues very well which is why the facial expressions seemed to help. Just today, one of my 21 month old girls was acting up. Instead of having to yell or scold, I just gave her "the look" and she immediately stopped and said "sorry". This comes in very handy at church, at the store or anywhere else that I don't want to be too disruptive.

Keep in mind, this doesn't work all the time. Your little boy is probably just getting to an age where he's trying to influence his environment and he's testing the waters to learn action/reaction. He's already figured out that there isn't much he can control. Right now I can't think of any suggestions on how to help him deal with that, but I know there must be things you can do. It's never too early to praise the positive behaviors so you can start with that. When my girls are behaving nicely, I make an exaggerated happy face and say "that makes Mommy very happy when you _____" (again with the visual and verbal cues).

Good luck with everything.

My son started tantruming at 10 months and I was shocked! Where is my sweet baby? My sweet baby was getting a personality and he is 26 years old now and still has tenacity which is a good thing. So you don't want to extinguish his spirit. My son tantrumed when I put him in the car seat. I just stayed calm and pushed him in firmly. Don't yell or hit but just let them know you are in charge of certain things.

Change his diaper as guickly as you can and then try to distract him with something playful. If he continues to want to scream put him down somewhere safe. I say the bed is fine but some people don't agree with that. If you have a playpen you can use that. You have to have a safe place for them to tantrum with NO attention. Don't talk. make eye contact--nothing. Then when they stop, go in and don't mention it. Just start giving positive attention.

There is a funny YouTube video of a child who was antruming with his parents. They leave the room to ignore him and he stops crying, goes and finds them, then falls on the floor tantruming again. The point is to get what they want and you need to let them know that isn't happening. But don't talke to a 10 month old during the tantrum because that is attention.

Good luck. A.

My daughter started throwing tantrums at 9 mo. When my son started (around 10-11) mo we ignored him and it worked great, until he turned 3 and now he can throw an hours long tantrum....but that's another post.

I tried ignoring my daughter but that doesn't always work with her, it did when it was younger. Now (she is 18mo) I try to explain to he what we are doing and why, and more importantly, not give in. We are trying to teach her (with a bottle of aspirin on hand!) that screaming and crying will not get her what she wants. It works some of the time. She is stubborn and would rather throw a fit many times. She is old enough now, and understands (Because of her big brother) what time outs are. So we just switched to using those on her for extended fits, but she is obviously older.

I think the most important thing is that whatever you try, be consistent and try it for 3days to a week before trying something else.

Good luck!

I'm also a first tima mom and my lil one started this same thing at about the same age. Scarlett is now almost 16mo. old and isn't any better. Honestly - it's getting a lot worse. Started with the word NO and just got worse. Diaper changes, bath time used to be her greatest joy and now it;s awful, you never know when it's gonna happen. Our doctor said to try distraction not working, sometimes I yell at her cuz i can't have her standing in the tub or leaning over the changing table - you know very dangerous!! I recently started spanking her for it - the really bad ones that she throws herself back for and rolls around and kicks and screams for. Soe for - it's not working either. My father - her grandfather has this voice that she responds to on the first try. The only thing that really works but he's not around 24-7 you know. If you have any other suggestions please pass them on i'm willing to try almost anything!!

Dear M.,

My youngest son who is now 2 1/2 started throwing tantrums around the same age. I was surprised at how quickly their personalities begin! I personally ingored his trantrum and walked away from it and once he realized I was not giving him attention, he would slowly come out of it. Once he settled, I scooped him up and tried to calmly talk to him. There would be times he threw a tantrum and I could never even figure out why because he would be fine 1 minute playing...and then poof...be on the floor screaming. As he turned 1...i did begin the time out chair which also worked. Now that he is 2 1/2....his tantrums are rare.

Good luck. It will get easier.

J. D.

Wow. your kid sounds like mine! About that age it was all I could do to not get poop everywhere while she had a fit and I changed her diaper.
So you are not alone!
I try to distract mine when she is having a tantrum, tell her to say (sign) please, tell her to share...and sometimes just remove her from the situation (hair pulling etc) and telling her "no". You are right, I find that talking to them helps - if not right away, eventually. And it helps build their language, which helps to eleviate their frustration. You have great intuition, just follow what you feel is right.
I will be interested in your responses.