10 Month Old Not Sleeping

I really don't think there's any need to wake her up in the middle of the night. Babies go through phases where sometimes they eat more than others and it's perfectly normal. I've always heard that the only time to wake a baby in the middle of the night to eat is in the first week or so until they get back up to their birth weight. I'd just let her sleep at night and see how that goes. If she isn't gaining enough weight, then maybe talk with her doctor about it.

I wouldn't worry about her "using you". She could be having growing pains, teething pains, or any number of things. Trust me, they learn how to sleep without your breast eventually, right now she just needs the comfort. I would stop waking her up at night... just let her sleep. She'll wake if she needs you.

Jamie especially is hitting the nail on the head. If it's the boob that will help her, then let her have it. Yes she's using you...in a GOOD way! She's only 10 months old....you are the only person she's known in utero and out of the womb and she's only doing what a baby is hard-wired to do. Let her nurse and "use" you for comfort...that's what a mama is for! Breasts aren't only for food, they are for comfort and there's nothing wrong with that, despite what some so-called "experts" say. My little girl is the same way (although she still eats a lot during the day) but she knows what she wants and what helps her, and I know the day will come when eventually she'll decide she dosn't need it to sleep. It happened with my son...I know eventually it will happen with her.

If you don't already have it get yourself a copy of The Nursing Mother's Companion, it's a great book for nursing moms.

I had that problem with my oldest. The change probably has something to do with teething or separation anxiety. Or a little of both. The eating less during the day might be because of teething and the nursing at night may have to do with being hungry because of eating less during the day. I found the pain scared her and caused her to want me, thus the separation anxiety. It's totally normal for a baby to go from sleeping through the night and then start waking up once or more a night it happens when they learn to walk and again at about age 2 (so far I've found that continues periodically until at least age 8).

I found that separation anxiety usually came before some milestone of independence. Once they achieved the new independence whatever it was they were fine. I have to say I gave up & took my girls to be with me while these spells passed, I couldn't stay awake and neither of mine ever cried themselves to sleep effectively, they could both go all night.

There is a way to cut down the duration of separation anxiety that I have found very effective. Litterally be in their face constantly, hugging, kissing, holding, carrying and generally not letting them go until they're totally sick of you and want to get away (you let go a little after they're really sick of you) for some reason they feel like they've gotten enough and stop with the clingyness within a few days, sometimes hours. That continues to work with 8 year olds as well, in fact that works a lot better when they're older, now my daughters can only tolerate maybe 1 to 5 minutes of being 'loved up' then they're done with me.

is she teething? I have an eight month old that gets like that when he is teething. It was so frustrating until I saw a tooth poking through and gave him some teething tablets (which don't work for everyone) and he was able relax and be able to fall asleep. Good luck to you.

Hi A.,

Between 8 and 12 months, babies who were previously really social often develop a bit of separation anxiety. Where they might have slept through the night before, they need to be with you and know you're close.

We solved this with ours by just letting them fall asleep in bed with us after nursing. We all got a lot more sleep.

As far as a ten month old "using" you, I guess if you mean she craves your love and touch, that's certainly true. She's not really capable of being manipulative at that age so you shouldn't worry about that.

A lot of times, other moms will make us feel as though our child should just "man up" and go to sleep without that nursing comfort. But by listening to her needs and comforting her, you're creating a bond of trust that will actually allow her to feel safe to be alone in bed in the future.

Enjoy those little nursing moments while you can even though they can be so exhausting. Stroke that little face and kiss those little lips because it goes by so fast!! You'll be so glad you did it...

M.

It is very common for babies to do this around this age. She is most likely getting around now and exploring. She needs you, even at night, and has a lot of connecting to do after being on the go during the day. Also, it sounds like you are working, and connecting at night is a common time for babies of working moms to do this.

Hold her and nurse her during the day when she's not exploring, to let her know you're there for her. I wouldn't wake her at night to feed her, though. She is old enough to wake if she needs to eat. But she is not using you! You are her mama and you are giving her a wonderful gift by breastfeeding her. She needs you whether you breastfeed or not. A lot of people think that weaning will solve their problems, but babies need their mamas whether they breastfeed or not. She needs to be connected with you and breastfeeding is a great way of feeding her AND connecting with her.

When she reaches for you at night, bring her to you. She's just a baby and won't do this forever. A wise mother once told me that we have 18 years to make our children independent - we don't need to do it all the first year. :) Hold that baby - they grow up so fast.

I've had the same sort of problem since my little guy was about 8 months (he's almost 10 months now). He slept through the night starting at 3 months, then all of a sudden started waking up during the night. I'm sure it's part hungry, part wants someone with him. We believe in the let him cry when we put him down (although we check on him after 5 minutes, then 10 minutes...if it goes longer than that I usually give in but it rarely, maybe once or twice goes longer). My son went about a month screaming when I laid him down to sleep, and we let him cry. This lasted about a month and now he is back to rolling over onto his tummy and going to sleep without a fight.
I had quite a bit of trouble getting him to eat any baby food and now give him all regular food. I often help him feed himself because he gets very distracted trying to feed himself. The "pickiness" went away completely when I started giving him "real" food. He now eats any fruit or vegetable I give him (they are very ripe or cooked, and cut into bite-size pieces) any meat (chicken, turkey, beef) and rice, bread, noodles, cheese, yogurt...
He'll even eat them from a toddler spoon if it's something that's not a finger food (he usually refuses if from a baby spoon).
Oh, and he has no teeth and no sign of getting them anytime soon either :)
I also breastfeed and noticed last week when we had a couple date nights he slept through the night when given a bottle instead, but I'd much rather he get breastmilk instead of formula, so I'm willing to do that middle of the night feeding.
One more thing, I noticed my son got very clingy to me when summer started (I'm also a teacher). So much so that he doesn't like to be in a different room than me even if Daddy is there (and Daddy is with him all day when I'm working since he works nights). She may just crave that extra time with you and since you are breastfeeding it increases that bond specifically with you.
Hang in there! I'm missing those wonderful sleep through the night nights too :)

It's normal for your baby to get picky around 10 months. Usually it is because she is asserting her independence, wanting to feed herself. Also, teething is usually an issue as well. Kids also go through growth spurts when they eat lots, then times when they hardly eat at all and you wonder how they stay alive. :) Your baby knows the amount of food she needs and when. Let her tell you. Breastfeeding is still her main source of nutrition right now, so you shouldn't worry that she isn't getting enough food unless she is losing weight. She may be taking extra breastmilk during the day without you knowing. I would advise against waking her up at night unless she is losing weight or the doctor advises you to do so. You may end up creating sleep problems that you may have to deal with for years in the future, and it seems some that you are dealing with now as well. I agree that the breastfeeding at night is primarily comfort based, and you need to let her sleep if she can.

When trying to feed her, give her some Cheerios or other small finger foods to try to feed herself. Then while she is distracted trying to pick those up, sneak in a spoonful of food. This helps you get in the nutrition she needs, while she gets to try to feed herself. Good luck!