10 Month Old Still Requires Feeding Lots a Night Time.

Updated on May 07, 2008
S.M. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
21 answers

Hello. I am a mother of an almost 3 year old and a 10 month old. My 10 month old is still up breast feeding any where between 3 to 7 times a night. The problem is that I have to work and have been working since she was 2.5 half months old. We only feed her water or breast milk for drinks and she has only recently decided she likes to eat food. Part of me wants to wean her from the night feeds, but a nother part of me would like to wait until she is a year and drinking milk during the day, even when I am not around. Any ideas as to what I should do would really help as I am very tired since I don't sleep much as a result.

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for your advise. Right now we have decided to wait until she is 12 months before we night wean her (we won't do the day wean until she is ready to do it) when she can start having milk. We have always said no to formula and she is so close to the one year mark, that we will just wait it out. Thanks to everyone who has responded.

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J.W.

answers from San Diego on

I would get up and vacuum when my twins would get up and I needed to sleep through the night. When I went back to work that was the best advice I got. They got the message and stayed asleep. This is a power thing.

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N.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have an almost 11 month old who still gets up 1-3 times per night. More often on days that she doesn't eat much during the day. I have been told this can be because of teething, when maybe it's uncomfortable for the baby to chew... I know, I know. It is probably more a bad habit that I need to break.

Anyway, the water bottle works sometimes. If she's up again fairly soon after that, I assume she's hungry and give her a small bottle. Most nights that works. Do you pump? That way, at least your husband can help once in a while.

A book that I read (but have been bad about putting into practice) is "The No Cry Sleep Solution." If you're not into the cry it out method, this may be the book for you. It has helped a lot of my friends, I just need to be more consistent!

If you decide to keep doing what you're doing, then I suggest a babysitter one weekend morning so you can get some sleep! Good luck - I feel for you!

Oh yeah, and try to feed her solids close to bedtime. Starchy/heavy things to keep her full so you know if she's up soon after going to bed, it's not out of hunger. Mashed potatoes and pasta with overcooked broccoli are new favorites at my house...

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A.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

I so know how brutal that is. My daughter (15 months) has been waking up every 1/5 - 2 hrs every night since she was 4 mos old. However, we have night weaned twice with great results (until some sickness came along and I caved and started nursing her at night again and now we are night weaning again and she is doing great). If you don't want to night wean totally, my suggestion is that you commit to feeding her only every 4 hours at night and have daddy go in during the other times she requests it. Having my husband take the "first shift" of the night really helped. He'd go in if she woke up anytime before 4 hours and soon enough, she was sleeping through his shift and sometimes longer.

Well meaning people give you the tips about rice cereal, but none of that ever worked with my daughter and I'm sure you have already tried it. A lot of people have some really strong opinions about this topic, as I am sure you will read. I've been bombarded more times than I can count by people telling me to make her cry it out. I've read just about every sleep book there is and I finally came up with a plan that worked for us and was gentle enough for me to feel good about. If you want the details, just email me.

Also, because you are a working mom, she is probably wanting to spend that time with you at night and perhaps part of you does too...

Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

You need to find out for yourself, if your baby is actually hungry or just wants time with you. 7-10 times a night sounds like a lot, but if your baby was underweight, I would say, feed them as much as you can. Your pediatrician should tell you how much your baby should be eating at this age, how much solid, how much breastmilk and whether or not your baby weighs enough. You sound like you are at your wits end with no sleep. Talk to your doctor about all this and you will feel better about thinking that you may be doing the wrong thing.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.: I guess some,have misread your request here.I understood you to say, that you were getting up anywhere from 3 to 7 times a night.If thats the case, then 3 times a night isn't all that much. Your baby is breast feeding, waking 7 times, I'm guessing that she may just want that closeness, and suckling time. If shes beginning to take to a little food,and you want her to sleep longer for you, then before bed-time, give her a little oatmeal cerial,then breastfeed and put her down. The cerial will sustain her longer.The best of luck to you

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S.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sometimes it's hard to make decisions that are right for the child because of the special bond you share as mother and child. Nursing is one of those challenges. I see it often! However, at 10 months old, your daughter should not be nursing in the middle of the night. It's a habit you have to wean for your own sanity and for the long term well being of your daughter. Sleeping patterns will only get harder to change the older she gets. Keep nursing her during the day and just before bed, but avoid the nighttime feedings. You may find, as I did, that your child can sleep through the night on their own and it's your habit you're supporting. A child at this age needs to learn how to go back to sleep on their own. Good luck!!!

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi S., you may not like the advice i give you, but it comes from 24 years experience as a mother, and 11 years as a daycare provider. At 10 months old your little sweet heart should be using a cup, my kids were on a cup as soon as they could sit up. If your baby is wanting to breast feed through the night it;s because you have allowed a pattern to form, right now your child has the power to keep you from the proper rest you need as a working mom, that's power that child were never meant to have. I put my babies on cereal at night at 6 weeks and they were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. At 10 months old your child should be having 3 meals a day plus snacks, no in the middle night feedings. If you stop getting up with her eventually she will stop waking up for those feedings, you need to break the pattern you have created and make a new one of her sleeping through the night.
with this schdule you have created, how do you have time for your husband? not to mention yourself. J.

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A.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello S.,

First I want to applaud you for continuing to BF even though you are working full time. I am still nursing my 13-month old and we couldn't be happier!

Second, I wanted to suggest that you STEAR CLEAR of giving your daughter formula "just so she'll sleep at night"... Breast milk provides such great nutrients for our babies and in their first year BM is all they REALLY NEED!!!! (of course BM OR formula). They don't necessarily NEED to eat solids all day... IF she is just now beginning to eat solids, than that is great! Really babies practice how to eat and when they turn a year that's when they will need other nutrients, etc. from solid foods.

I think it's pretty amazing that you want to Breastfeed thru her 1st birthday!!! When I am so tired and my baby wants to nurse at night I bring her to bed with me and we lie down together... she nurses and sleeps and that means I sleep too!!

Please know, this phase will NOT last forever and you are most certainly DOING THE RIGHT THING by tending to your babies needs. At 10 months your baby MOST CERTAINLY DOES NEED the nutrients from BM.

I was always told that my baby should be nursing about 8-12 times/day thru the 1st year.

You're doing an amazing job - keep up the great work!!!!!

**JUST WANTED TO ADD - I too have heard great things about Elizabeth Pantley's book!!! :) (The book, Babywise made me SO VERY ANGRY. It is not a book for an attached parent who is against a CIO method. Therefore, it was not for me - I hope it's not for you either!!!)

AND I have ALWAYS nursed my baby back to sleep when she woke up during the night and she has become an excellent sleeper!!! ALL ON HER OWN!!! We don't "teach" our babies to EAT or DRINK so why are we expected to "teach" our babies to sleep!?!!?! She is 13 months now and sleeps 8-12 hours/night!!! Sleeping is what our babies do when they are tired... if they're teething or going thru a growth spurt, NURSING WILL 100% of the time comfort and soothe them. BM is pretty magical and healing. :)

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T.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know it is so hard but you have done well thus far, so don't think you are being selfish. You can pump some & save it for special instances. Otherwise, switch to a formula for the next couple of months - it will keep her fuller at night & give her some rice cereal (to start) at the last feeding before bed. She will most likely sleep through the night (at least mostly anyway). She has gotten a lot from you mommy, and yes, you need some good sleep! Good luck & God Bless!

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J.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

S.,

Keep up the great work but also get some sleep. You deserve it. If you give your baby a bottle of formula at night she will sleep so much better. She probably is getting extra hungry since she only has water for some meals. Her belly may not be full after nursings/feedings. Being a mom is a fulltime job and you deserve some sleep at night since your baby is almost one now. It would be good for your little boy too. You know the saying, When mommy is doing well, everyone does well. Once I started my children on formula at night they slept so much better. Enfamil Lipil was the formula I used. Good luck!

S.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

When a child breast feeds and the mom isn't available during the day (as was the case for me) it isn't unusual for the child to "reverse feedings" -- feed more at night. (The book I was reading ("Nursing Mother, Working Mother") talked about it like it was a GOOD thing, ack.) And this is exactly what happened to me. If the "Breastaurant" was only open at night, then that's when he wanted to eat. He fed every 2-3 hours all night UNTIL HE WAS 2! (That's when I put band-aids across my boobs and told him they were broken, lol.)

Seriously though, bring her into your bed and just keep breast feeding her at night. You'll get more sleep and she'll get the nutrients she needs, and your bond will be really great. If she's right there, she won't wake up all the way while she's eating, you won't need to worry about getting her back to sleep, and YOU can sleep while she's eating.

Breast milk is the perfect food, and is so easy to digest that she can do it quickly (much more quickly than formula). It's why breast-fed babies are slower to sleep through the night. But I have to tell you, knowing that he was eating at night from me was nice since pumping didn't work well for me. I did it every day and just wasn't able to pump much. So I say recognize that your baby might just be normal and bring her to bed with you.

As for feeding solids, get this book: "Super Baby Foods." It was AWESOME. It told us EASY EASY EASY ways to make our own baby food, taught what foods to introduce at what age and gave a wonderful primer on nutrition. I think you'll really like it.

Good luck!

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R.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds like your trying to make up for not being there for your baby during the day. However, after 5 mths, a night feeding is not nutritiously necessary.

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is 13 months and still eats 2-5 times a night. We co-sleep, so I don't even really wake up any more, but if I had to get out of bed to feed her, you can bet that I would be a lot more unhappy about it. I love the book 'Good nights' by jay gordon, md. He recommends offering a cup of water (the only thing that should go in a bottle is formula or breastmilk), or pacifier and cuddling her until she falls asleep. He says it does take a while and can be a lot of work, so do start when you can get some extra sleep during the day, but it is suppose to be worth it.
I have noticed that if I feed my daughter really well during the day, she sleeps better at night. I gave her pizza crusts one day (I know, junk food, but we were at chucky cheese...) and she slept through the night. It was great. I would not recommend applesauce, or rice cereal, they give my daughter cramps and she wakes up screaming at night.
Good luck
R.

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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree that you daughter is waking up tooooo much. She should be eating baby food during the day now. I also have a 10 m/o daughter - she sleeps through the night and has since 6 mos.. Occasionally will wake about 4 or 5am but I do not feed, I rock her then lay her back in bed to fuss after about 10-20 mins. she sleeps till 7 am.
You also may need your husband to help, when I would go in her room since I was the milk lady I had a hard time not feeding her, but Daddy didn't have milk so she knew the difference. That's what Dads are for too.
Good luck.

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B.H.

answers from Reno on

I have to agree with most the other moms that this is way too much. I have two children, 8 & 4, and my 8 year old was difficult with sleeping until someone gave me the book "On Becoming Baby Wise". It is a wonderful book that teaches you and your husband how to include your child in your lives instead of centering everything around her. This simple idea leads to the most important thing for every family, sleep!! My daughter was about 10 months when I read the book and even then it made a HUGE difference. I skipped to the sleep chapters and then went back to read the rest. Give it a try, please!! I reread it when I was pregnant with my sone and he was up once a night by 6 weeks and not at all by 3 months. It saved me!

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is a book that can help you with this baby and your future ones. I used it for both of mine. This site talks briefly about the book---gives the rumours (there are many), then the actual fact. You can buy the book at Amazon or a book store. He talks about night feeding in depth and how to help wean your baby off it. Good luck!

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

In case the link doesn't work, the book is written by Dr. Richard Ferber. Be sure you get the 2006 version as it has the most current and up-to-date info.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh you poor thing....7-10 times is way to much!!! If it was once a night, my advice would be diffrent. You need to break this habit. She is not using you to get nutrition at night at all. She is using you as a pacifier and you let her! This will take a few nights for her to get used to, so do it on a weekend, but either cold turkey her and let her cry it out, or give her a bottle with water only (there will be tears shed with this as well). Try to soothe her any other way. She needs to get used to falling asleep, and you need to get some sleep.

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, I LOVE your name--it's what i named my daughter. Second, lots of the advise is to become tough with your baby--that doesn't work for all moms. I strongly recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley I used it with great success so I STRONGLY recommend it if the cry it out approaches aren't for you. I also recommend the article Changing the Sleep Pattern in the Family Bed on Dr. Jay Gordon's website. He offers a 7 night night weaning program. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

On top of the advice that you need to break this cycle, try giving her less water during the day. On the nights that she is only up 3 times, has she had more to eat that day? If so, that is your answer. At 10 months she is probably crawling and possible getting ready to walk. She is burning a lot of calories. Try giving formula as the last bottle of the evening; it is a little heavier than breastmilk. Pump for the time that you give formula and you will have an extra feeding for the next day!
Good Luck and (try to) sleep tight!

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B.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

While every child's nutritional needs are different, it is HIGHLY likely that your daughter is not hungry, but that she needs you to fall back to sleep. First, does she feed to fall asleep at night? If so, I would break that habit first- she needs to be able to fall asleep on her own. People often forget that this is a learned habit. I wouldn't personally let her cry it out, or not at first. When she crys at night pick her up and try to pacify her in other ways, like with a pacifier or a bottle of water. At around the same age I too became fed up with the night feedings. I decided to give her a bottle of water instead, and the first night she drank it and went right back to sleep. The second night she fought with me for an hour and a half before she drank a little and fell asleep. The third night she fought a little, drank a little, then fell back asleep. After that she slep through the night. Odds are good it will take you a few nights, so start on a weekend or when you have a few days off work. Put her back in her crib still awake, also, so she can get used to falling back to sleep on her own. You can let her cry as much as you are comfortable with, as well. Every mom has a different level they can tolerate. And really push the solids during the day to help her feel fuller. Good luck! I was so there!

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K.R.

answers from San Diego on

Please be careful about some of the advice given by other moms, especially those who have kids in their 20's and gave rice cereal at 6wk! This is just wrong - babies cannot digest foods until 4-6mo and solids (including rice cereal) are not recommended until 6mo. I am a doctor and feel comfortable giving you the advice I give my patients. Your message seems to imply that your daughter is not getting breast milk if you are not home (you want to wait until she is a year old and getting milk during the day). Babies at 10mo should be breast feeding about 5-7 times in 24 hours or taking in about 24-36 ounces of formula and eating solids 3 times daily. If she gets breast fed or breast milk/formula in a bottle or sippy cup 5-7 times during the "daytime hours" 6am - 10pm for most, she should sleep the rest of the night. My daughter still woke once every night until 12mo. 3-7 times is way too much. The advice about sending in your husband does work - no breast feeding means no reason to wake up. It takes a few nights but then she will sleep! Good luck!

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