my previous posts talk about my sons anxiety and his fear of vomiting. We finally found a therapist that our insurance takes and I think will be a good fit. My husband and I go in and talk to her first next monday, then we will finally get him going on that to help overcome his fears so he can not worry so much about what he has touched or if he will get sick.
However, my new issue is he seems to really be struggling this year in class focusing and wiggling around a lot. He has always been super talkative and doesn't sit still when he is bored. He loves to be the center of attention and will do a lot for a laugh. Most of his teachers have done well with him, this year his teacher just doesn't put up with anything so he is getting in trouble, almost daily. He is not a bad kid. He is impulsive and needs to learn how to control that but all in all he is a wonderful child. Last parent teacher conference she had suggested that he is ADD or ADHD. She didn't fully come out and say it but she might as well have. Is this something that the therapist can help as well? When my son is interested in something he can easily bunker down and pay attention to it. He plays baseball on a tournament baseball team and is able to play his positions and stay on task. This is my first time with a therapist and I don't know what to expect or even what to ask.
we are seeing a psychiatrist with a phd.
If he is wiggling/fidgeting, I would speak to the school about using a yoga ball for seating. Many schools are using them now - the kids use their energy sitting, it provides exercise and kids seem much more focused.
Whern I took my older son and one of my girls to therapists, I met with them first. We addressed what the issue was, what I hoped they gain from the visits, any issues at school , home etc. Likes, dislikes, what they most enjoy. This gave a bit of a foundation for the therapist to work with. My son did well speaking to his. His issue was more immaturity and trying to get him to relax more. My daughter didn't do so well because she saw no point as she put it and would not talk other than one or 2 word responses. It just was not a good match for her. She currently has a couselor at school she loves talking to.
A therapist can help, but is likely to refer you to a child psychiatrist for an evaluation first. A psychiatrist is a doctor who is qualified to diagnose and/or rule out conditions. The psychiatrist can also develop a treatment plan that may include therapist appointments. I'm glad to hear the teacher didn't suggest a medical condition because teachers legally can't do that and shouldn't. (What exactly is their medical training? None.)
It's extremely common for conditions like ADHD and anxiety to have comorbid conditions (other conditions that tag along). Our son has ADHD and a long list of other conditions that go with it, including anxiety, OCD and ODD.
It's very common for people with ADHD to hyperfocus on things they love. With our son, it's video games. Put him on a game and it's nearly impossible to get his attention diverted. However, put him in school unmedicated and he can't focus one tiny bit.
A therapist can be a great resource, so don't hesitate to ask her for direction on all of this.
I am so glad you are getting him some professional help! My daughter has the exact same phobia and her therapist helped her so much (it's actually more common than you would think.)
As for the ADD/HD, it's true that it often goes hand in hand with anxiety, though not always. In my daughter's case it was the end of 5th grade when she was diagnosed with ADHD. We had suspected it for a few years but wanted to give her a chance to "grow out of it." She has had an IEP since then and lots of support at school. We didn't have her on meds until this year (10th grade) she takes a low dose of Adderall and it's working well.
My 5 year old was recently diagnosed with ADHD. He had been to the psychologist 5 times in the period of 3 years before the diagnose. That was partly due to his age. He was really too young for that diagnosis when he was 3. It was also because ADHD is not his only diagnosis. There were many things going on that concerned us, and his doctor needed to ask lots of questions, get to know him, watch him over a period of time, make observations, draw conclusions.
What's going to be most helpful to the psychiatrist (and to you and your son) is for you to take notes. Keep a notebook, write things down as you think of them. In the days before your appointment, read over your notes and think about anything else you've observed and anything you can conclude from your notes. Write those thoughts down as well. Bring that notebook with you to the appointment. It will be invaluable!!! Make sure you answer the doctor's questions as thoroughly and helpfully as possible and make sure you take the time to mention everything in your notes.
Try to relax. As hard as that sounds, try to relax and stay calm. A good doctor will take the time to listen to your concerns and will really consider everything you have to say.
It really is important for you to keep this notebook. Things that may seem unrelated really could be. You might not draw conclusions from something he does at school and something he does at home. Two events might seem completely unrelated, but the doctor is both experienced in the field and an outside observer and will be able to notice things that you, as the mom, might not.
The first couple of times we saw our doctor I was so nervous. I think a part of me felt like I was on trial. I had to remind myself not to be embarrassed and to be forthcoming, as the whole reason I was there was to help my son. I have to say, though, after hearing the doctor give our son a diagnosis and explain why he thought that was the right diagnosis, there was a huge sense of relief. It was the first time I felt anyone truly understood my son. I almost cried in the doctor's office because I was finally starting to believe that there was hope. Before that moment our son had been a complete mystery to me. Now he has a diagnosis, and we have a plan. It's a miracle!
There are definitely some things you mention that resonate with me - having trouble focusing, wiggling, being hyper focused at times. My son does those things. So, ADHD is a possibility. But I'm certainly no expert. Just make sure you tell the doctor as many things as you can. Let him/her decide what those concerns say about your son.
Wishing you some answers and peace.
I like several earlier responses. Also see if they refer him to therapist to talk things out.. And see if they are good fit, he may not like first therapist etc. I like the therapy/options for meds IF needed down the road.. I am surprised no one mentioned diet! I am by no means a hippie/or "crunchy" momma but several new friends this year and I have been talking about the whole artificial dyes in certain foods and high fructose corn syrup etc. leading to hyperactivity in children and that with some kids already having anxiety issues. I will see what books they recommend but try to do some online research.. Things like trying to drink only organic milk, we cant afford everything organic in fruits n veggies but try some and than spend out $$ on meats that were not injected with hormones etc. Our middle child who is ten today has always been hyper, had the whole impulse control issues in pre k...gosh we had couple parent/teacher conferences and we were like she's 3.5, duh she's still learning. Anywhoo she was diagnosed borderline ADHD years ago in 1st grade but we drastically changed our diet back then, we weren'teating completely unhealthy but wouldnt think twice to do a happy meal ya know? Now we havent been to a McDs in years. And no our daughter is not on any medication but changing her diet helped immensely.
Good Luck
P
the therapist will evaluate how fidgety he is during her time with him.. but to diagnose ADD aDHD.... there is a checklist... teacher completes the checklist.. you complete the checklist.. a psychiatrist can write a prescription for meds...
if his wiggles are hurting in the classroom.. you might give meds a try.. but anxiety can also make kids wiggly.
You want to make sure the doctor he sees is a psychiatrist. Only a psychiatrist can prescribe medications if needed. This is what was recommended to me when I sought help for my daughter's anxiety last year. We started with talk therapy, but had the option to start medicating her down the line since we were seeing a psychiatrist.
The fidgeting and getting in trouble in class should certainly be mentioned in the initial meeting along with the anxiety and OCD behaviors.
Best wishes!
you might need two different doctors. the psychiatrist will prescribe meds but you generally only spend like 10 minutes in his office. the psychologist is the one you will spend and hour visit talking with. and it sounds like your son does have add or adhd. my son is off the charts adhd. is able to totally concentrate on what interestes him. but if he is not into it you are not going to hold his attention for long with his meds. every little thing that catches his attention is a new adventure. its better now that he is older but when he was in gradeschool it was a nightmare.
I would have your therapist evaluate him, and from their can recommend a Child Paychiatriat/ Behavioralist to confirm diagnosis.
I know that my sons therapists at school, most notably his OT used a weighted vest, yoga ball, and gave him frequent breaks so he has an easier time focusing and paying attention and not fidgeting in his chair.
Does he have an IEP?
