10 Yr Old Girl & Bedwetting

Updated on January 19, 2008
J.C. asks from Vallejo, CA
34 answers

I am looking for some help with my daughter (10) who still wets the bed, almost every night. I have tried rewards, nothing to drink after 8pm, waking her in the middle of the night & having her handle all her wet bedding, all with little to no relief. I looked into alarms but she is a very heavy sleeper and is even difficult to wake no matter how much sleep she has gotten so an alarm would only serve to wake her brothers and the rest of the house long before she would be conscious of it and she would still be wet. I welcome your thoughts on this. (Please Read On Below)

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So What Happened?

Just to fill everyone in more, she uses goodnights (has for the past 6 years) the bedwetting started after she started adhd meds (which we stopped and she is now 100% unmedicated), her pediatrician seems to think she just has a small bladder and will grow out of it, she has NEVER been punished or chastised for wetting the bed, and she doesn't feel shame about it. She does sleepover at friends houses , she just takes a goodnight along and is very discreet about it although some of her friends and cousins know and they are supportive also. We want to connect with other families that are or have gone through this same thing. Thank you

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F.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello J.,

Have you tried homeopathy? My son was younger when he had this problem but what worked for him was; equisetum hiemale. But every child is different.
There is a website very interesting;
www.abchomeopathy.com
if you want to learn more about this or you can also go to any health food store.
Good luck,

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J.D.

answers from San Francisco on

What is her urinary pattern during the day? Is she holding it all until night? Does she have many small trips to the bathroom during the day. My kids who were heavy sleepers and nighttime wetters partly grew out of it (larger bladder space) but we also used what we could learn about daytime voiding to help. Scheduled voiding during the day, helping stretch the bladder if that is what is needed

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C.A.

answers from Sacramento on

Chiropractic Care!!!!
Believe it or not chirppractic can really help with bedwetting. My SIL sister was a chronic bedwetter up till the age of 13. They tried medications, brain scans, counseling and nothing worked. The problem was her neck was out in some place so the impluses were not reaching the brain. She was adjusted 2 times and she stopped bedwetting. Infact she never bedwet again and now she is 21 years old.
Chiropractic care can also help with several kids problems such as sleep disorders, asthma, bedwetting, headaches, ear infections, growing pains, etc. I can't tell you how much chiropractic care has help me and my 3 year old (who is NEVER sick).

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J.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I wet the bed till I was 7, I had a problem with my urethra and bladder, and had a very minor surgery to correct it. I'm 44 now, but I've learned since then that a reaction to milk is a common cause for bedwetting. Has she seen a specalist, the proceedure I had back in the 70's worked great, I can only imagine that they have gotten more advanced by now and that it must be even easier.

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R.P.

answers from San Francisco on

J., I am a mother of a daughter who experienced the same issue, she is now 18. However, when she was about 3 this started, the accidents, waking up soaking wet, etc. I did have her tested thinking it was a Urinary Tract infection issue, we had the dye injection (checking for a tear in the lining, etc.) we had the ultrasound done, everything, doctors couldn't find a medical reason why this was happening. Then one day she just grew out of it. I did the pull ups at night, hence she didn't do the sleepovers or antying. This lasted until she was 6 and then overnight it just stopped.

My suggestion, have her checked out for the Urinary Tract issues. I am sure you have talked to her about it and I am sure she is not comfortable with it either, maybe going to a counselor - underlying issue subconsciously??

Good Luck.

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L.B.

answers from Stockton on

My oldest wet the bed until he was 13. Fortunately for him (I guess), is that I too used to wet the bed. I was a very heavy sleeper as is my son (he actually slept thru the fire alarm in his room and he was on the top bunk, yikes!) Pediatrician did some tests because normally there is a hormone that kicks in and reduces the amount of urine produced at night. Anyhow, my son used Goodnight's until he decided he'd had enough and the pediatrician put him on a medication. It's a pill (or two depending on what's needed) taken every night before bedtime. That with the reduced intake of fluids at night did the trick! He could have sleepovers! I grew out of mine around 10 yrs old. My son took longer. He's now 14 1/2 and no longer has the problem. Talk to your pediatrician! I'm really glad you realized it isn't your daughters fault. It makes me so sad when people think the child is lazy or doesn't care. I mean, really, who wants to wake up in there bed full of pee? Hang in there and tell your daughter she is not alone! I was amazed at how many of my sons friends had the same problem (it is more common in boys.) Good luck!

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K.N.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

Are you talking to her doctor about the bedwetting? Has she been checked for urinary tract infection? My daughter had recurring urinary tract infections from age 5 through 14, and wet the bed the whole time. We tried alarms, etc., but basically, when she finally stopped having infections, she stopped wetting the bed.

I've also heard over the years that it's not as uncommon as one would think (bed wetting) and kids do grow out of it. Being a heavy sleeper is part of it.

I don't think being angry with her or showing frustration helps. I was pushed by people to make my daughter responsible for her sheets (she also lost bowel control for a while - long story) but it made her start hiding the evidence etc. and she felt badly about herself. I think the cleanup can be something you do with understanding and patience and kindness, but she can help you.

Best of luck. Do check with the doctor.

I just saw your edit, so know you're checking with the doctor and are supportive.

K. N

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B.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi J.. I read about your delima and my nephew went through the same thing. He wet the bed until he was almost 12. They tried all of the remidies you tried. His mom finally took him to a "sleep" disorder type doctor and they did some testing. They found that he went into such a deep sleep that he couldn't feel the sensations of needing to wake up and go into the bathroom. They had him do some breathing exercises and used a breathing machine (covered by insurance for them anyway), and it helped him tremendously. Maybe you should ask your doctor about his condition, and make sure that no one makes fun of him...that only makes things worse. My nephew would never have friends overnight or go to spend the night anywhere because he was afraid his friends would find out and make fun of him. He was miserable until he got help! Good luck with your daughter..don't give up until you get her help!

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S.W.

answers from Sacramento on

ME TOO, 7 year old girl. Our doctor said that it is totally normal for "heavy sleepers". Doc also said that a childs bladder does not fully mature until around age 12. I completely u/s the frustration. The laundry alone is enough to drive you nuts. I never make my daughter feel ashamed or say sorry. This is an ACCIDENT. Your little one is probably like mine, scared and embarrassed. I always tell her that this is not her fault and her body will mature soon and this will go away. I have finally started to set myself a quiet timer every 3 hours at night. So YES I get up three times a night and take her potty. But we love our kids and I would walk to the ends of the earth for mine...so a little temporary discomfort is A OK w/ me. Good Luck. You are not alone.

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N.O.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

I have a 14 yr old daughter and she is still occassionally wet her bed. We recently consulted her doctor and I was told that there is chemical which is released during the night that prevents us from urinating and the problem could be that their body is not generating enough of it. The doctor suggested that we consult a specialist @ UCSF for further diagnose. her doctor also suggested mediacation but I declined. Just an option you can discuss with your doctor. keep me posted. Good luck.

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R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,
I'd go back to the dr. Friend of mine has a daughter that had a "leaky valve". Her chronic wetting would cause infections. She needed surgery and is now fine. Good luck.

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D.R.

answers from San Francisco on

My oldest daughter is 29 now, she wet the bed until she was aroung twelve years old. The doctor said that she had a very small bladder. Is there a way that you can check into it? sometimes kids wet the bed because of trauma going on in there lives that as parents we are not always aware of. Perhaps you can ask her if there is anything that is making her sad. It is hard to say because it can be cause by so many things. I hope this might help.
D.
Mother of seven:
three by birth
Two by marriage
two by adoption

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L.C.

answers from Fresno on

have you went to your dr. with this yet? It may not be her fault or anything you can do about it as far as getting her up and things like that. I have a friend of the familys daughter has that problem the thing is that she is now 17 going to be 18 soon. Her mom tried everything having her take care of the wet bed, getting her up at night to or three times to get her to the bathroom. You name it she probley tried it. The daughter is now on meds she takes them before she gose to bed and it helps her bladder stop contracting at night. She is going to be on the meds for the rest of her life most likly but it has helped her. I hear some kids only have to be on the meds for a short time and then their bladder starts to streangthen up, then they can get off.

Good luck

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Good luck. I was going to suggest talking with your pediatrician, but then saw your extra comments. It sounds like it is definitely the meds that are causing your problem, maybe causing the deep sleep to where she cannot wake herself up to go.

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B.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My 11 year old had the same problem. With the advice of our Pediatrician, we purchased and used the alarm that you pin to the child's pajamas (with a wetness indicator in the panties). She was waking up to use the toilet within five days! It has been 4 years now and she is dry every night: some nights she gets up to use the toilet, other nights she does not- she is able to wake up and listen to her body now. She is a very deep sleeper and this was the only way to rouse her and make her realize that she had to go in the night. It takes such a short time for the alarm to work (5-7 days) and no other families members were woken up - even her sister in the same room. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you talked to her doctor? There is medication available for this condition. Are you sure she doesn't have a recurrent low grade urinary tract infection or bladder spasms? If there is no physical problem I think you should really give an alarm a try. Heavy sleeper or not the alarm should wake her.

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N.S.

answers from San Francisco on

As a female bed-wetter until my parents finally got me help at age 12, I have a lot to say. I was so ashamed, and used to torment myself in hopes it I would stop it. I was in my twenties before I learned it ran in the family and it was not my fault. The best thing (although also embarrassing) was the alarm pad. I have been trying it with my 6 yr old son, too. I hear it before he does; I will have to be diligent.
Please let your daughter know it is not her fault, and together you can train her body to stop sleeping through the signals.
Goodnites found i the diaper section(and the cheaper versions) have saved my sanity and helped my son keep his self esteem intact. Their website has lots of information. Your daughter should not have to suffer in a wet bed and jammies! I bet sleepovers will be less stressful once she can be dry.
Good luck to you and your family. My heart goes out to you.
ns

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D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hey J., I am feeling your pain. I have a boy 8 with the same problem. I have tried everything except an alarm system prescribed recently by his Doctor. We have had it for two months and planning to put it to use this month. My husband is supposed to be reading the instructions and helping me to get it going. To date, nada, so I will be forging ahead because I am so tired of the washing. I will let you know how it goes. In the meantime, if you get any good advice, please pass to me. I almost shoot ( a joke) myself over this because I am so tired of washing linen every single day. But then again, my 8 year old is such a dear and I would be missed by the other two kids 14 and 16 plus a spouse. Let's keep the faith and hope somebody can save us from ourself on this one.
Thanks. D.

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R.A.

answers from San Francisco on

The alarms are attached to the underwear and they become aware of them pretty quickly plus it works pretty quickly - so you would know in a few weeks if it was going to work or not. Even if it did wake another they could perhaps help her become aware - but its not like a blaring noise throughout the house. In order to wake and use the bathroom they need to come out of that deep sleep.

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E.F.

answers from Sacramento on

I have a friend that has a son that had the bed wetting problem. Did you check to see about her bladder size. sometimes the bladder can be smaller than normal. also just have her wear a diaper. if it is not a physical impairment, then she may decide on her own to change. I have also heard of getting new beds/and bedding to make them feel proud of their new bed and not want to soil it. It is not good to damage their self esteem about the whole thing. So go easy on her. Maybe she just needs a lot of love and acceptance. good luck.. Elaine mother of 6

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you spoken with your pediatrician about this issue as I know for sure there is at least one drug on the market (not sure of the name but can get for you) that helps with this situation. I am not the kind of person who says drugs are always the answer but it seems that there are times when that is what is necessary. If she is ten there may be more going on than she just can't wake up to go. My very good friend worked for the pharmaceutical company that sells the drug so I can get you some more information. Feel free to email me directly at ____@____.com S.

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D.L.

answers from Sacramento on

Blessings,
Have you ruled out a urinary infection or problem. My sister had these bed wetting issues until she was 16 when she found out the cause.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

J.,

Our pediatrician referred us to the Stanford Pediatric Urology Dept. to check my child's anatomy. Her anatomy turned out fine, but they still pin-pointed the problem and helped us solve it. Good luck!

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R.L.

answers from San Francisco on

It is actually not uncommon for this to be happening to a child, I have a daughter that had this same issue, and a son, who does, he is now 5. I think that some kids are just plain deep sleepers and their bladders are still developing. I have heard that it can last until they are around 12 years of age.

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T.L.

answers from San Francisco on

I would also suggest homeopathy, but I would suggest going getting prescribed something from a homeopathist rather than self-prescribing. Homeopathy stopped my daughter's bedwetting that started after being dry for 3 yrs and she was much younger. The situation was different clearly, but it is worth a try.

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S.J.

answers from San Francisco on

i don't usually advocate drugs for kids but have heard good things about a product for kids with bedwetting issues - DDAVP. You might want to ask your doctor... as i'm sure this is affecting her emotionally and her self esteem.

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A.W.

answers from San Francisco on

You say that alarms won't work but it's not clear to me if you have tried yet. Many years ago, I also had a ten year old daughter that wet the bed. I remember the name of the company was Pacific International. We not only used an alarm but sent the results from a daily log once a week to the company and they gave us advice. It did take a long time, and yes, we initially were responsible for getting her completely awake before going to the bathroom. But at this point, she has ten years of nightly bedwetting, so it won't stop overnight. All I have to say is, it was so much of a relief when she stopped. And it made her feel so much better about herself.

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C.B.

answers from Redding on

sounds like you got a lot of good advice here. The meds sound suspicious, too, especially since you notice the wetting started right after. good luck!

-c

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G.A.

answers from Stockton on

J.,

I am not sure if you have spoken to you child's doctor, but you may consider it. My friend's daughter was having the same problem and it turned out to be a physical problem that actually required surgery to correct. For her it actually started to affect her kidneys. I am not saying that it what is going on, just something that I looked into with my children.

Some kids just sleep so deep, like my son, that he just doesn't wake up. With my son I can even get him up, change his bedding shower him in the night, put him back to bed and in the morning he doesn't remember it at all. I was able to limit the fluids, do the bathroom right at bedtime and getting him up in the middle of the night. Sometimes, very rarely he still wets and he is 9 1/2 years. I believe that for him part of it is emotional. When he has gotten in trouble with his Father is also when he has accidents, which doesn't happen often.

Hope this helps you out. Wishing your daughter dry and restful nights. G.

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G.D.

answers from Modesto on

Try homeopathy... let me give you my homeopath's number: ###-###-#### Sid Mojabi in MILPITAS CA... he is awesome....and can also treat you for your loss and feeling lonely and sad!!! Love, G.. :0)

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F.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.

I am hoping you have a doctor looking into this. I believe that at this age it is a medical problem and there is help out there. I imagine she is mortified at the thought of sleep overs with her girl friends. If it is a medical problem, which agiain I must stress, no reward system would help. If you have not take her to a doctor and if he is not doing anything take her to another one because she should be having tests done. Also get on line for medical advice. I believe it is MD.com
Good Luck
Jessie B in Santa Rosa, California, Medical professional

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S.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello J.,

Have you talked with or taken your daughter to the pediatrician? Is she having trouble at school?

I would start with your pediatrician who is an expert.

The bedwetting could be symptoms of stress or of her feeling somewhat out of control.

Get help from a professional for your daughter so that you can do what is best.

Take care,

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My son is 7 and still wets the bed as well. We have him wear pull-ups to bed to cut down on laundry but they leak a lot of the time anyway. I've tried not giving him anything to drink before bed and waking him up several times a night, too. It helps but doesn't stop it. I woke him up twice in the night and found him wet in the morning before! I try hard not to make him feel bad about it-hard at 2am when I just fell asleep from nursing my youngest! But I know it isn't his fault. I don't want to put him on medication either. I haven't had him see the doc about it yet. I don't know what to do other than wait and hope as his body grows the wetting will stop.
You're not alone!and it's nice to know I'm not either!

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B.C.

answers from San Francisco on

You might want to try limiting milk/dairy products after lunchtime. We stopped feeding milk at dinner and no dairy products (ice cream) for dessert and it helped alot!

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