10Yr Old Son Saw the Gift That Was Meant to Be from Santa

Did you ever stop to think that maybe his need to 'know' from you was based on something other than the gift he saw? Maybe one of his school friends told him the truth, and he is looking for validation. By 10 years old, they pretty much know that santa is mom and dad. the magic of Christmas isn't SANTA, it is the love of family and friends.

Whoa, 10 years old! Amazing that he still even somewhat believes at that age with all the talk amongst friends. I think the average age is probably around 7. I would be honest and tell him, he's old enough to not get too emotional about it. I plan on telling my kids that Santa is part of the spirit and that it is ok to pretend and have an imagination.

Wow, I had no idea there were 10 year olds out there still believing in Santa.
I think it's time to come clean... he may already know since I would assume that most of his friends know the truth...

If he really still believes in Santa it would alos be a good idea to clue him in before his friend do. They might ridicule him for still believeing....

We personally won't carry on the Santa story past 6....

I don't understand why you wouldn't tell him! He is 10. His friends have told him, obviously. He's well past the age when kids still believe. He just wants to hear it from you. How much longer do you want to keep this going? I don't get your frustration.

It's not like you're telling him the world is ending, or God is dead or Christmas was cancelled. It's just Santa.

My kids stopped believing around 5 or 6. We STILL track Santa on Christmas Eve. We still wave at him when we see him at the mall. We saw a guy at church last week who we were SURE was the real one! You can still have fun and not believe.

Tell the poor kid. He's begging.

10 so he is in 4th or 5th grade? I think he needs to know.. He is telling YOU he knows the truth.

Many children begin to know at about 8.. They are more observant.. When they begin to ask, the best response is, "what do YOU think?
and then "Why".. If they give super valid reasons.. like your son, just say.. "Santa is in our hearts and as long as you believe he will still come." Also congratulate him on figuring it all out.. Let him know he can now be part of the magic of Santa.. He is growing up..

I also told our daughter I believe in Santa.. That is why Santa still brings me gifts.

I would tell him that Santa is real and pull info on the real Saint Nicolas online and show him. I would then tell him that Santa asked if you would provide a gift this year as he couldn't fit it all in his sleigh.

You are the only one who truly knows your son. Would he be devastated to know Santa wasn't real? Especially so close to Christmas? I would play along that Santa IS REAL and then if he brings it up again in a few months, far from Christmas time, you can re-vist the idea.

The worst thing to do would be to reveal the truth about Santa gifts right before the big night.

PS - my daughter is 10 and she still believes along with most of her friends. I think, as parents, we hope they believe in the magic as long as possible. Especially in this day and age of having lock-down drills in case of a shooter in the school, bullying to the extreme, sex on tv and violence everywhere.

he is 10, tell him the truth. My son starting asking around 7 or 8 and we told him the truth. Even now at 12 he still keeps up the "santa" thing around his little brother and cousins etc and he takes joy in how excited they get.

Kids talk, most 10 year olds now that there is no santa so I am sure friends are telling him this and he is begging you for the truth and not getting it. Not a good way to build trust and openness. We are honest with our sons about anything they ask about and it has always proved to nurture trust between us so that they feel comfortable knowing mom & dad won't lie to them.

He will still enjoy christmas and may even be more grateful knowing that you took the time and care to get him some gifts that he loves!

I would make the gift from you guys and just fill the stocking great, and the other 'non-worthy' gifts from Santa. Maybe add an i-tunes gift card or something if he has an mp3 player, or a game stop gift card if he plays electronic games.

My 11 year old STILL believes. We do celebrate Christmas for the REAL meaning of Christ, but, I just love this time of year to be fun and carefree for my kids. (Well, I try to make all year about them being kids.)

We've done a good job at making the story 'magical' for our kids. The 'Santas' at the malls are Santa's helpers. Of course he can't be at every mall!!! So, these 'Santas' help the big guy out, and, take the information back to the real Santa. Elves are everywhere, always watching kids for Santa. They help watch for naughty and nice so when Santa checks his list, he has help if he needs it. Santa always leaves my kids a personal note also. This is never mine or my husband's handwriting, and usually a pen color I don't have 'handy' around the house. And in recent years, Santa sends each one a personalized video before Christmas. (www.portablenorthpole.tv)

We track Santa's progress on Christmas Eve also through the online tracker.

I'm sure I don't have much longer left with my 11 year old, but, for now, I lover her innocence and she has never asked me if he is real yet! :)

Just read some more answers and I'm surprised at many of the 'school friends' comments. Almost all of my daughter's classmates still believe also. Weird that so many stop believing at 7? That is so young! Let them be kids!

He is 10 its ok yo let him in on the secret of Santa. My oldest knows but he humors me anyways and goes right along with everything because of his little brother.

santa often leaves presents behind stashed close to where they will be delivered, it frees up room in his sleigh. i didnt put anything in the garage. and you better not be snooping, remember if you dont beleive you dont receive :)

My son is 12. He knows.
But he also knows me and Dad are Santa's helpers.
Sometimes a magician needs a whole stage crew to make a performance work.
And although the audience knows it's a trick, it's fun suspending the disbelief for a little while.

Your son has answered this question for you. He is 10, he has told you he needs to know. Not wants, NEEDS. Be honest with him. Tell him the truth but let him know why we perpetuate the belief of Santa in the first place. He can help with the younger kids and make it so fun, all the while being "in the know". He has asked you to be honest with him, I know this seems like no big deal but to him it obviously is. Tell him what is going on. It in no way has to ruin this special day. Merry Christmas!

He already knows that Santa isn't real... he's simply asking you to confirm it!

Don't make it bigger than it needs to be- sit down with him and tell him the truth (again, if he's asking he already knows) and ask him to keep it quiet b/c of younger siblings, cousins, whatever. I remember asking my mother this question after having a friend tease me for still believing (age 8 or 9). She was honest and told me "who" St. Nicholas was and why we celebrate his charity by giving gifts. Then she asked me to play along for my little sisters. Not nearly as traumatizing as I'm sure she thought it would be!

Let him open his "Santa" gifts as usual and let the adults and other kids involved (if there are any) keep the magic alive.

you could go either way on this. if it was me the big santa gift would be mom and dads. and I would tell him santa is helping so many kids this year he has to thin out a bit. but realistically he knows anyway.

10 years old is really past the age where children are still believers. I am surprised that he is not being teased at school. It's time to let him in on the secret so he can be Santa to others.

I imagine from his talk he already knows the big secret...it sounds like he just wants you to fess up. :) One year when I was around 6 or 7, I found the Santa stash in our house. My mother made a production of taking "her" gifts back to the store. I was utterly convinced I lost out on getting my Mandy doll. Christmas morning instead of Mandy, was her friend Jenny. Instead of the Barbie I found, there was another one, etc. Basically Santa just changed everything slightly. Is there any way you can exchange it for another color or style? If not, I am afraid the cat is out of the bag.

he already knows santa isnt real so does that make your decision any easier? once a kid is asking the kids at school have already told him...hes 10!

You need to do one of two things...
1. Realize he is a big kid, tell him so and then tell him that Santa is not real as he is portrayed. The idea of Santa is based on St. Nicholas and it is continued in his spirit. Believing in Santa makes the season magically for everyone but especially kids so it is important that he keep it to himself. If you have younger kids he can help w/ some Santa duties to keep it fun for them and him. Stress how important it is that he not tell other kids what he knows.
2. Try to stretch it another year (don't advise this one since he is 10). Wrap the present he saw from you and either give him one you already have from Santa or go purchase another Santa gift.

Good luck.

My son had started to doubt but I hadn't pushed so I let it slide a bit. A teacher told him in class (not that she told him specifically but she said "You know, it's like when you found out the Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy weren't real"). She assumed they all knew....I didn't so much care that he didn't believe anymore but it wasn't her place or the right way to tell him.

How about telling him that Santa is "The Spirit of Giving at Christmas"...I seriously doubt that any 10 year old child truly BELIEVES in his heart of hearts that Santa is real...I mean...HOW can Santa be at every mall, major department store and street corner in town??? My children "went along" with the Santa Story for years...shoot, they are all grown and two of them have children of their own and I STILL "sneak" downstairs after they are in bed to fill their stockings...lol.
Why not teach him that HE can be Santa too....have him help you bake some cookies to take to your local fire station or police department to thank those brave men and women for continuing to serve you on Christmas Day while everyone else is at home with their families? Or help him choose a child from one of the "angel trees" and pick out gifts to take to that child so that he/ she can have a Merry Christmas?
I hope that your son has been taught the REAL story of Christmas that can be found in a wonderful form in the book of Luke in the Bible...that is the real truth that he needs to get from Christmas.

If he's already to that point I would tell him the truth. My daughter is 8 and I "thought" she was to that point but then now she is saying she believes and even wanted to go sit on santas lap. So I guess she is not ready to know yet. But he sounds READY :-) I would tell him.

My oldest knows Santa isn't real. last night she told me last year she went in our room and saw the presents I had hidden in my closet. I thought she knew from shopping with me.

He is 10, tell him the truth. He is probably frustrated you are keeping the Santa thing going. I love Santa, I talk about St Nickolas and how the story got started. My husband said that he would be happy to tell our youngest girls this year but I am not pushing it.

You can keep the fun of Santa alive without saying he is real with an older child who knows he isn't.

was there ANOTHER big wish he had for this year? If he has one more thing that was not gotten for him i would go and get it for him and make THAT his Santa gift. Even if it is an expense you didn't plan on making, or even if he doesn't have another BIG thing he wanted, come up with something. that is what I would do. I would try to keep belief in Santa as long as possible.
I know this sounds so silly, but my daughter, 6, just lost her first tooth. I have never ever seen more magic more love, more belief, more warm fuzzy feeling than that morning when she woke up and saw her tooth gone and present left from toothfairy. She was so happy, almost teary-eyed. I love that innocence in children. I wish to never have to make it go away.

It does make sense (the part about being Santa worthy) to me! However, I think I would make the gift he saw from us. I understand that you feel you'll be admitting to him that maybe he's right about Santa, but that's not necessarily true. He'll come to a slow realization this year or over the next few regardless. I got into a big pilfering stage around age 11. I basically knew that Santa was probably Mom and Dad, but I still had a little shred of hope. I, of course, found all of my Santa presents in my mother's closet that year! I never said a word, and as we opened gifts on Christmas Eve, I still held out a bit of hope that I would unwrap what I found, but I didn't. It was out on Christmas morning. Yes, there was some initial disappointment, but at his age (and at mine those long years ago), it's kind of like the last piece of puzzle slipping into place. Go ahead and try to play it off. Give him the Santa present from you. IF he figures it all out -it's okay -but he may not. My parents always told me that there are always big surprises at Christmas! There were years that I was shocked at what they gave me and what Santa gave me. Santa always brought the biggest presents, but sometimes I did get something from them that I would have thought Santa would bring. He'll be fine and he'll still have fun, no matter what!

From the bottom of my heart, I believe and always will. I have no doubts.

I say if you do not believe, you get underwear!

Updated

I feel for you! My nine year old daughter has been questioning "Santa" for the past couple years. So, if you want to keep it going, it seems that your only option now is to give him the gift he saw as a regular gift from you and buy another gift to give him from Santa.

Hi! It really sounds like it's time to tell him about Santa. Make it a simple explanation. Santa is all about the spirit of Christmas, anyway. He is getting older, & it sounds like he wants to know the truth. If you are religious, you can bring the religious explanation into it. If not, you can still make it a simple explanation that Santa exists as the spirit of Christmas - joy, happiness, giving, sharing, etc - something like that.

I hope this helps. Good luck! Happy Holidays!

it's probably time to level with him... "Yep, you have caught on to the secret of Santa's success. In order to keep him "alive" to children the parents buy the presents and give them as gifts from Santa. He was a special guy, so special in fact that we continue to give FOR him every year in his memory. It is important that you do not tell kids that are younger than you the truth because we all like to believe he is still alive for as long as we can because, face it "Its so fun" right?"
Tell him that even tho he saw his gift that NOW he still has to act surprised so he doesnt ruin the fun for the younger kids. Tell him to smile and wink at you when he sees that Santa gift this year and that you will wink and smile back.

I say play along a little longer.
When I found out it ruined the magic of Christmas.
My mom made santa prints in the kitchen with powder.
She had him tear his clothing on the fireplace (red and white felt).
He left us personalized notes (never mind that santa seemed to have the same handwriting as my dad, the easter bunny and St. Patrick leperchauns. Ha ha).
Santa ate the cookies & milk and was a little bit messy.
Let me tell you...............there has never been another bit of magic like that in life again. I say milk it as long as you can.....it won't be much longer maybe a year or two where they half believe and they are just believing to help themselves out.

I haven't read the others so sorry if I repeat.
Can both the gifts from mom and dad be Santa worthy together? Then the one he saw be from both of you?
Can the gift he saw be from your mom? or mom in law? And have one of their gifts be one of the Santa gifts?
Mine is 9 and still believes too.

I"m 43 and still beleive in Santa.(oh and fairies) LOL!! My mum used to tell me that there really is a Santa up at the North Pole, and probably still is today, son of santa etc passed down through generations, but he is too old now to go the the thousands of millions of houses that are in our day and age. If my kids get to that stage, and when they do I will be telling them the same thing.

My daughter is also 10, and I honestly can't tell if she really still believes or not. Either she really does or she is putting up an amazing front. If she were to ask point blank, I would have the talk with her.

I wont go into the whole "santa thing" my 9 year old still believes and I think its fun! But, I will say that my kids have ALWAYS gotten the BIG, GREAT gift from Santa. However since last year we have decided why does he get the credit for the most wanted item? We want our kids to know mom and dad worked hard all year and WE got them the top item on their list. So now, santa still brings good stuff but not the big ones. You and your husband deserve the credit for the santa gift. Merry Christmas

This is tough........as parents we try to keep the "magic" of Santa alive as long as we can......I would continue to NOT answer him.......let the anxiety fill him up :O)

A few suggestions to help:

* Watch The Polar Express........put a bell in his stocking to help keep the Magic alive
* Santa follows him wherever he goes........so make sure that his Santa gifts & stocking show up on Christmas morning
* The gift he "saw"........make it from you and your hubby......no reason to make it from Santa now that he's seen it
* Find someone to ring "Santa bells" outside around midnight.........he won't sleep good so he will "think" he heard them......

You can also try this website.........it creates a message from Santa directly toyour child........it takes a few private moments to enter in all of the info. Have 2 photos of your son ready to upload (of his current year that was important; like baseball, soccer, swimming, etc...). This website will make him wonder for sure :O) http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/home

My oldest son, at the same age, put on the Santa heat too.........I was able to get by working extra hard to do things to help him believe a little longer. He is now 14. We have a "silent knowing" in our house.....He's learned to believe to get gifts from Santa.......

This is extra emotional for us mom's........it will be OK..........no matter what the outcome, just try your best to keep him believing :O)

Merry Christmas!
~N. :O)

I've explained to my daughter that there are SO many kids in the world that when you become a parent, part of your job is to be a Santa's Helper. :-)

Our kids are 2 and 4 and we just had a similar experience. Our son saw and commented on a santa gift for our daughter in the back of the car. We had to redo what santa gave because if he saw that from santa he would know something was up.

My husband also thinks I'm crazy because each year I buy a wrapping paper to wrap all of santas gifts in. If it was the same they would know. He Doesn't understand the importance of it being different. =) We saw our kids wish list of what they wanted from santa so we had to unwrap and rewrap presents so their wish item came from santa and not us.

It's all in the spirit of christmas. I hope you had a great one, we did. =)

I have an eleven year old and I am pretty sure he knows that Santa as the story goes isn't real, but I plan on making sure the love and magic that Santa represents is something he will carry on with him and pass on to his own children.

I had a neighbor boy who was about ten ruin Santa for me when I was three (just a year after my dad died). My mom is still mad about that and I realize now why. This year our family experienced a Christmas miracle. My mother, who will be 80 in a few months, has to get down dangerous basement stairs to do her laundry. A few days before Christmas a delivery truck from Lowe's showed up at her house and two men carried in a stackable washer dryer for her kitchen. At the same time a dear friend from the neighborhood who happens to be a contractor showed up with all the tools for the installation. Here is the thing. A family friend who now lived in Oklahoma had purchased the washer/dryer for my mom and had arranged the details for installing it. This woman was someone my mom had helped out 20 years ago when she was a single mom with no family and no where to go. (sounds a lot like another Christmas story to me). We never had much money, but my mom made room for everyone and stretched money to feed everyone. We have all been so worried about my mom going down those stairs and while my sister and I tried to get things fixed up for my mom, she just would not let us. I am not sure why. This gift, of course, was something she could not refuse. She cried, I think with a combination of relief and joy and love, when it arrived and when she called our friend to thank her.

So when my son was asking about whether Santa was real or not (after he wondered why Santa didn't bring gifts for grown ups) I told him this story and looked him in the eye and said "Now do you understand." And he smiled back with warmth and love in is eyes and said "Absolutely."

I see you already have a lot of good answers, so I'm just going to say I really like what JoAnn C said about telling him the story of St. Nicholas. And the majority seem to think, as do I, that at age ten he is already pretty sure of the correct answer, and is just seeking confirmation and a good way out of continuing the pretense. He may be getting some serious teasing from other kids his age if he isn't really sure what he believes.

One thing that I really questioned though, as I read your post, is the idea that the other gifts aren't "Santa worthy". It sounds like you're saying that Santa has to give better gifts than his parents give him. That just doesn't seem right somehow.

10? I thought most stopped believing in Santa at about 7. You could give him the gift and not say anything about it. It is likely his friends are talking and some don't believe.

At our house Santa only gives one gift. All others come from us. If we are travelling and the Santa gift is small size (ipod, or whatever) we bring it with us, but sometimes Santa leaves a note saying that he felt we would have a hard time getting his present home on the plane, or in the car, so he left it at our house. :) We just leave the gift with a neighbor and ask them to 'deliver' it after we leave. The girls always thought Santa was a very smart guy to think of our luggage issues! So I would just give him the gift he saw from you and have Santa leave a note to expect his gift when he gets home. Good way to stretch the celebration!

As for believing or not. When our kids friends started to tell them that Santa wasn't real (or worse that their parents had told them he wasn't real), we would just shake our heads and ask 'Why would anyone choose not to believe in Santa? Kinda sucks the fun out of Christmas, don't you think?' Our girls are now 16 and almost 14 and they will still tell you that Santa is real. We know they know the truth, but Santa is part of the fun and no one in this family wants to give that up.

Would he be crushed if he didn't get the item he saw? Can you have your in-laws exchange it for another thing from the list and avoid extra expense? Trade with another relative? I know my kids lists have plenty to choose from!
You're lucky that he still believes at age 10...I'm wrestling with the idea with my son and he's only 8. I know what you mean about 'Santa-worthy' gifts, but it doesn't necessarily have to be over-the-top expensive; just something he really wants...my kids keep informing me that if you're naughty Santa brings you coal and socks. I don't where the socks came from. :)

Merry Christmas!!

i think you need to be honest with him about santa because otherwise he will not trust you nor will he feel he can ask you things because you won't tell him the truth or will put him off. just my 2 cents.