11 Month Old Daughter Started Waking and Ferber Method Not Working.

(I haven't read all of the previous replies to see if this has been mentioned or not.)

Everything I've read says that 9-12mos is the worst time to introduce 'sleep training', because of the super light rem sleep (due to large motor skills being practiced in their sleep). Last I read Ferber and his comments on crying-it-out, he said he doesn't even recommend his method until after 12mos of age.

This may be something that you have to ride out, being consistent/loving/responsive.

I've also heard this happens again between 15-18mos, when the second wave of separation anxiety kicks in.

Good luck!!!!

I am going to go out on a limb and say this, and I will probably hear some backlash from you mammas about it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH A CHILD FALLING ASLEEP IN YOUR ARMS OR IN YOUR BED? They are infants for such a short time, and the cuddling and quiet time to get them to sleep is PRECIOUS AND PRICELESS! We rocked all our children to sleep, and we layed with them in their beds, and they layed in ours. They are all great sleepers and eventually slept on their own. PEOPLE--you are NOT spoiling them! I wouldn't trade those many nights of cuddling and falling asleep together for ANYTHING! Now, my son is in high school and will be gone to college before we know it. NO, I am not old--I have a 12 year old and a 5 year old too! We did this with all of them. They are happy, loved and content and so are we. If your child is sleeping for 10 hours a night, what more could you want? ROCK HER, KISS HER, LOVE HER, TELL HER STORIES. You will never forget this time and neither will she. If she is falling asleep in your arms, you may be putting her down too quickly if she is standing up in the crib screaming.

We used a gentler cry-it-out method as described by The Sleep Lady's book (sleeplady.com) where you let the baby cry-it-out but you're sitting in a chair right next to their crib, so they know your'e there, every 3 days you move the chair closer to the door until you're out of the room.

There's more detail to the method than that, but that's the general idea. I highly recommend the book.

We did it with our daughter when she was 10 1/2 months old. We saw obvious improvement after 3 or 4 nights and she was sleeping through the night after 8 nights. The first 2 nights sucked, but after that -- it was much easier.

She's been thoroughly trained for a year to need you beside her to fall asleep. She used to let you mover her, now she doesn't want you to. Changing this will be hard on her, but not impossible. If you want her to move to her crib. You have to be firm. Dont' make the struggle huge and drawn out. If you think you might cave and let her stay in the end, just do that from the start so she doesn't win a battle by crying.

She'll get used to anything you enforce. Whatever you want your end goal to be, falling asleep with you, then moving, or just falling asleep herself to start with: Just do it. She'll cry. Possibly every night for a week, though 3 nights is pretty standard. She wants what she wants and what she's used to. She will adjust. If you're serious, don't give in to the crying. At night, make sure her belly is full, her diaper is dry, her sleep routine is done, her bed is clean and cozy, and walk away.

If you're going to try to keep your plan of letting her sleep alone, focus on the good you're doing enabling her to feel secure sleeping alone, not in the crying in the beginning. It is a huge favor to her and you guys to feel OK falling asleep herself. Good luck.

my daughter went thru this at about 13 months. she would wake up in the middle of the night and scream, we would get her, comfort her, put her back to bed and shed cry again as soon as she was in her crib. im not a fan of co sleeping but we eventually let her fall back to sleep in our bed, for lack of other options, we need to sleep! but as soon as we tried putting her back in the crib shed cry. she even started crying before bed when we put her in her crib, she hasnt done that in months! we suffered through this phase for a week or so. she would cry in the middle of the night, wed go in her room hold her for a little then put her back in her crib and she would cry some, but go back to sleep rather quickly, we did put a nightlight in her room, 3 hours tho is a long time to listen to your child crying, but i think this is the only way this situation will reslove itself, she wants you in the middle of the night as my daughter did, and unfortunelty they have to learn that nighttime is for sleeping. i would go in her room only once, comfort her, tell her its time to go to sleep and then leave. hopefully after a week or so she will stop crying and just put her self to sleep. hopefully this works for you. i know cry it out is tourture!! good luck

Did you actually read Ferber's book? The whole thing? If not, I would urge you to do so immediately. You need to remember that you did one thing for 11 months and shouldn't be surprised when it isn't changed in 3 days. Ferber is a process, not a miracle. It can take over a week of extremely consistent behavior for Ferber's methods to work, and they have to be done correctly. Be patient with the process- it does work if you give it a chance. And believe me, if she's being this stubborn now, you don't want to wait until she's 18 months old! It is hard to listen to them crying, but if you are checking on her every 15 minutes, you can be assured that she's ok.

10 hours a night for an 11 month old isn't a lot of sleep, though depending on how much she naps it might be enough. I'd also think about moving her bedtime back a bit. Good luck-- the sleep thing is tough but so important!

I used a version of ferber for all of my kids, so just a few thoughts: Are you doing bedtime, putting her in bed awake and then leaving her to check every 5, then, 10, then 15 minutes if she starts crying? If not, try that. Check on her, verbally soothe her but don't take her out of the crib. If you ARE doing that, does she get more and more upset each time you check on her? My daughter just got more upset if we looked in on her, so I stopped going in and after the first night it got better and better with her sleeping through in days. But, letting them fall asleep before going in to the crib never helped, just made the sleep issue worse.
It could just be her age, I have found out that the "milestones" affecting their sleep is really true. Sometimes you just have to wait it out for a week or so until creeping, walking or whatever isn't so stinking new and exciting.
I don't feel guily for letting my kids cry it out if they are not wet, sick, in pain etc. We need sleep to be good parents.

I rarely used the ferber method, so I have no advice in that matter. I will tell you that there comes a time in a childs age that seperation anxiety sets in. Could be growing pains. Cold, too hot? Just trying to reassure you that all moms go through this. It is ok to let her cry, but 3 hours is a long time on the 2nd and 3rd night.
Maybe move her crib to another area of her room? Maybe give her a book to sit in the crib with while she falls asleep?

hey there its really tough because they all hit this around that age what i did with my son was i changed up his routine check the nap schedule if you baby is napping to late then change it around or make the last nap shorter.try a different bedtime routine..play for a little while after dinner then do bathtime give baby a nice little lotion massage then you could even try feeding the baby some cereal i noticed my boys do sleep better on it i dont care what anyone says.the last thing that helped us is we did the supernanny method where you cuddle baby and have quiet time read a book or whatever then lay baby down when baby screams go in and just lay baby down then wait one minute go in lay baby down again(dont talk or anything)then go in after 3 minutes lay baby down then wait 5 minutes lay baby down and so on and so on the first night for us was the longest but after that it got much better she basically said its teaching your baby that there is nothing to be afraid of and that your still there.i know its easier to just cuddle her to sleep but the sooner you get it fixed the better it is for all of you...i hope i helped some :) good luck to you

Hi A.:

Is your baby teething? If she is get some Hurricane gel by doc's perscription and put on her gums.

If not, call your ped's nurse

Good luck. D.