My 7yo kiddo has CLOSE friends that range from 4-12. Big brother/big sister type friends in their teens and early 20's, as well as a number of adult friends in their 30's -90's, and *he's* big brother type friends to numerous toddlers.
I think it depends VERY much on the actual people. These are all GREAT people, & I'm thrilled he has so many amazing people in his life. Here are examples of the "types".
- Close Peer Group Friends: They do everything. Sports, play, humor (my gawd... one more fart joke, and I may go mad), camps, make believe, army in the yard, classes... these are the classic friendships. The ages make a difference... Kiddo's going to be doing different versions of the same kind of play with a 4yo than a 12yo... but same token... he does different types of play with his jock friends than he does with his artsy friends.
- His teen & college student friends tend to be "activity" friends. OR Big Bro type friends AKA... A couple of the local freestyle snowboarders have taken him under his wing and shows him tricks (I'm still on the "bunny" slope). Other activity friends include things like chess, astronomy, gymnastics, mechanics, construction. Essentially an older "kid" has noticed my kiddo loves something they love, and they teach him. They're obviously not PEERS but they're friends. The "Big Bros" are going to make the BEST dads. These are typically activity friends who are down for kid stuff, but some are neighbors who are the "hey kiddo... come help me with this! " or "Come play with us!". They wrestle in the yard, build sand castles, have snowball fights, play soccer/ basketball/ etc., dance in the kitchen as we're cooking or yard as we're grilling, listen to and contribute to wild stories and games, play hide'n'seek, pass on the "best" ways to make a PBJ so it doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth, play board games, etc. Again. NOT peers... but they spend time with my son and share freely their knowledge and joy in the world. SUCH cool people.
- The people I'm unfairly classifying as "adult" friends (because technically the college kids in their early 20's... not to mention non-college early 20 somethings are adults)... are typically DH's and my friends, with children of their own or childless. And do the EXACT same things as activity friends or big bro type friends... but they're *usually* experienced enough / I trust their judgement enough not to have to keep an eye on them. Not always. Sometimes they're retired neighbors, or friends of my parents, or the grandparents of ANY of his other friends (peers or non-peers). The "older" his adult friends the more varies the activities he does with them... because they usually share their expertise with him.. Just this weekend kiddo learned how to frame & drywall (as much as a 7yo can know how to). He's also been shown how to low-crawl by a WWII vet, how to make chocolate truffles by a chocolatier, some basic engine stuff from a mechanic, a wealth of film making by a director friend, how to make robots (simple ones) by a physicist, how to prune a rosebush, how to, how to, how to. Not to MENTION the array of amazing stories from grandparent & great grandparent aged adults in his life. (BTW... watching an 80ish year old man pretend to be back in the trenches after having the kids make a "fort" with furniture... is something I'm going to regret not filming for the REST OF MY LIFE. )
I feel so very BLESSED that my son has all of these people in his life. Yes, people often get shocked when they realize the "playdate" he was talking about with "George" is not one with a 7 year old, but an 85 (86?) year old... or a 22 year old... or a 15yo. But his life is so much the better for all of the people... his FRIENDS.
R