Okay, my son turns a year old on the 1 of April (yay!) and I am 6 mo pregnant with my next little bundle of baby boy joyness (super surprise).
My son will not stop screaming and biting (and he has six whoppers in that little mouth!) if he doesn't get his way and I don't know what to do. If he bites I tend to flick him on the cheek and firmly tell him 'no biting' and try not to ask if he would like 'nother bite' when eating (instead I ask "more please?"). The biting is starting to get better but he's not eating much anymore either. I had to start him on formula when he was 6 months because I stopped producing and he took to it well and I'm even giving him cow's milk in small ammounts every day at the same time. he loves the milk but won't eat anything except these things called "crunchies" and sometimes some whole grain cereal or some yogurt. I only give him two bottles of formula a day (one in the morning and one before bed) and he sleeps just fine and takes good long naps.
The problem is (besides the eating) is that he won't stop SCREAMING. I talk to him and try to love on him and sometimes I get frustrated and raise my voice because I don't know what to do! Nothing works. If I need to change his diaper, he screams; if I sit him in his highchair or his walker, he screams! The only time he's not screaming is when he's running around on the floor which he can't do right now because we're packing up and moving.
Is it my own emotional state that's effecting him (I really don't want to move but we're being kicked out because the landlord aka my mother is letting my older sister and her kids move in for free whereas my fiance and I have been paying every single bill that comes our way)?
He has a bump on the back top of his gums, is he getting his molars already?
When I ignore him for a while (which I'm sometimes forced to do), he usually calms down; it's just that his screaming is always immediate and that top of his lungs kind of screaming, there's no working up to it.
Help! I don't know what I'm going to do.
I would look into food allergies.
To the biting and screaming welcome to toddlers. He wants attention and will get it any way he can. Most likely if he is being good you are happy and don't pay attention, when he is bad you pay attention. When he is good praise him, make a big deal. When he tries to bite brush off the bite so he doesn't make contact and go about your business as if he doesn't exist.
I would put him in the pack n' play when he screams for a few minutes. Do it right away, at the first scream so he gets why he's being put there faster. Gently tell him "no, too loud", or "shhh or something when you put him in.
Good luck, hope it helps :)
I forgot to add, yes he could be getting molars- they are worse than the front teeth because a larger surface has to break through. Try Baby Tylenol when he seems miserable.
Ignoring the screaming ( a tantrum?) is the bast way to handle it... but it has to be fully ignoring him. What I mean is... when he starts screaming, STOP what you are doing, don't say anything other that a firm "shhh" or "no screaming" and then look away from him and take a deep breath. He wants your attention, and he needs to learn to do something else to get it.. try to give him other appropriate options- like "using his words" or say "show me- and encourage him to point" when he wants things.
If you yell or raise your voice in response, he will think that yelling/screaming is OK when you are frustrated. All parents do it sometimes- I know I have... but it is better to take a deep breath and speak clearly and firmly.
Try* not to take out your other stresses on the baby... it is hard to have patience sometimes when our kids are screaming and we are worried about "adult sized" issues of our own... but your stress can be sensed by the baby. Make sure to try to give yourself time to wind down... take a long bath, or watch a funny movie with him.
Eventually if you only give your attention to "appropriate" behavior... that is what he'll do. He may still have "meltdowns" occasionally, especially if he is tired, sick or ovewhelmed... but they WILL get less over time. My two year old doesn't hardly ever throw tantrums anymore... and I think it is because they have never "worked" on us... and I think cutting them off early on has saved us a LOT of hard work now that she is a full-blown toddler!
As far as the biting... he might be doing it because he doesn't realize what he is doing! I am going to go on a limb and say something controversial. My daughter only bit a few times... She was fascinated by the reaction she got (a scream or yelp!) Ignoring that just wasn't going to happen, because it just made her bite harder. finally one day out of desperation. I took her arm and bit her back! Not "hard" but enough to pinch and make her say "ouch!" I then said... "see, bites HURT! Mommy doesn't like biting!" (it left no marks or bruises- and only took once)
I honestly don't think before that she really understood what she was doing. It took one bite for her to realize that it wasn't "nice". She stopped biting after that. Could it be that your son doesn't understand what a bite feels like?
The other question was about eating. At this age he is probably just fine nutritionally... but I would try to get him to try new foods. We have the "one bite rule"- basically... my daughter HAS TO try one bite of any new food, and chew and swallow it. If she hates it after that she can have something else. 99% of the time after that one bite, she'll eat whatever it is... once she realizes it is not so bad. Sometimes I have had to do some "ninja moves" with the spoon to get that one bite in, and I can say that sometimes it is a little bit of a battle... but it has made the diffence between having a baby who won't try anything, to a toddler who actually likes almost anything she is fed- AND a toddler who has a pretty colorful diet!
Good Luck mom, and congrats! I am sure you'll look back in a few months and say.... oh, what was I all worried about!? (and then you'll go into labor- eek!) hahahaha!
-M.
Might get his ears checked.
It could be that he is teething and he just hurts... does he have a fever? Yes, it could be from nerves and tension, but you need to get a handle on the situation. Try to amuse him, do something different that he would not expect. Funny faces, or act like him- yes yell too! Let him see how silly it is to act like that. Is he drooling? Try giving him some chunks of frozen banana- or Popsicles. If he is teething then it will pass, but if not then give him all of your attention, so he will not be worse when the new baby gets here...;)
I'm truly sorry that you're in such a tough position. Your son could definitely be teething. Have you tried giving him a baby tylenol or ibuprofen? If that helps him quiet down, teething would be a good guess.
It is hard to take all that noise, and you sound like you're under both extra stress and the influence of hormones, so please try to step back, take a deep breath, and understand that your son is not trying to make your life miserable.
Assuming he's hurting, the flick on the cheek is really hard for me to hear. Have you flicked yourself on the cheek? It hurts, it's startling, it's unkind, and it's not really an effective way to stop his screaming if he's already hurting. Yelling back at him won't do much besides raise the tension and the noise level for all. A child under about 1.5 years of age may change his behavior to avoid pain, but he doesn't have the reasoning skills or impulse control to learn good behavior by that means.
He may be simply trying to signal a need of his own, like pain, frustration or anxiety, and doesn't have words for it. And he may well be responding to the tension you convey through voice and body language. Babies are sensitive that way.
What if you were to try some of those soft-foam earplugs to reduce the impact on your nerves?
Get some ear plugs till you allow him to run around the floor again. He has a lot of energy, he is wanting to explore.
He is teething.. they feel like little needles coming through and can give them a headache. He does not feel well.
He may not be very hungry.. this is not unusual.
And he is not verbal enough so he is screaming and biting to get you to help him figure out what he feels and needs.. Total frustration is what is happening.
Totally normal.
He has to be able to move around freely.. If not inside take him outside.. Give him some frozen wash cloths that he can chew on. Give him some baby tylenol when he seems in pain.. Give him his words.. "You are not hungry so yes, you may get down from the high chair."
