12 Month Old Sleep :( - Fort Worth,TX

Updated on November 21, 2010
K.U. asks from Fort Worth, TX
6 answers

Hey Moms, I'm having some sleep issues with my 12 month old twins, which is all new to me since my now 7 year old slept perfectly starting at 6 weeks! Since they were about 6 months, the twins have slept for about 11-12 hours a night and napped for at least an hour, 3 times during the day. Now they nap for maybe 20 minutes, 2 times a day, but what is most frustrating is they are BOTH waking in the middle of the night crying. I thought it was maybe a growth spurt and they were hungry, but the doctor says it's most likely due to separation anxiety and to comfort them, then let them cry it out. When I go in their room to comfort them, they get even more upset when I leave, then I try to let them cry it out, but they will keep going for 45+ minutes before I give in. Does anyone have any ideas? This has been going on for 1.5 months now and I know this is disrupting their whole sleep routine during night and day :(

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all the suggestions! June, I tried your friend's idea and let them share a crib last night and they slept for 11 hours straight!!! :)) I'm also going to try to eliminate the morning nap today then put them down after lunch to hopefully get one long afternoon nap. Not sure how the daytime naps/nighttime sleep started getting so messed up, but hopefully we are on the right track!

More Answers

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

You've probably tried all this, but here are some ideas. Comfort them and stay in the room, but not touching anyone, just saying "it's ok, shhhh" so that they don't get so upset. Once that starts to work, start leaving and say "I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes." Step outside the room for 1 minute, then come back. Say "I'm just checking on you" but don't pick them up or touch them. Then say "I'll check on you again in a few minutes". This time leave for 2 minutes (or 5 depending on how it's going) and keep making it longer. After a few nights, hopefully they won't be upset when you leave and you'll be able to just say "ok, I'll see you in the morning".

I almsot forgot. By 1, they may be ready for 1 long nap instead of 2 naps a day. Try keeping them up, feeding them lunch around 11 and then napping by 12. That may help.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

By giving in, you have conditioned them to cry until you come in. If you stop going in, they will stop crying. It's all about routine.

J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Sleep problems so suck for the whole family but are completely common (you lucked out with the first one!)
Here's a few ideas:
-I think the most common sleep problem for babies this age and up is that they simply do not know how to get back to sleep on their own. It is natural to wake up a few times a night (most of us just roll over and go back to sleep), but little ones sometimes have incorporated us into their recipe for what it takes to go back to sleep.
-We tried comfort techniques that were lower and lower key for our little one (during the most recent wave of sleep trouble this meant weaning/cutting out the ultra early morning feeding for our 17 month old). this helped.
-Double check that room temperature, humidity, light levels, sound is conducive to sleep throughout the night. A mobile or picture nearby is a nice way to zone out and go back to sleep. Same for a snuggly.
- I have a friend with twins and she really seemed to let the two lull eachother into sleep as they shared a large crib and now a room together. They would have quiet conversations or interactions then fall asleep. I think she read a story before putting them to bed, then basically removed herself from the equation.
- The method of sleep training that working for us during a couple waves of sleep trouble was the 5, 10, 15 thing where you go in after 5 minutes and very briefly and lightly sooth then do this again if they cry another 10, then after 15 then not all. This worked within a couple days with our daughter.
-Some daytime things that have helped. Never let a nap get within 3 or so hours of bedtime. A full meal at the end of the day, but not too much food/milk going on right before bedtime.

Good luck!

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B.L.

answers from Fort Smith on

Oh the joys of babies! First of all, try to wear them out during the day by keeping them busy and not letting them have the afternoon nap for awhile. They will get fussy and cranky, but take a deep breath. Keep them active so that they are to the point they almost fall asleep in their dinner plate. Give them a good warm bath, snuggle them up in bed and put on some "white noise" so that when they twilight (become more aware during sleep cycles) they aren't startled awake by the silence which is scary. Hang with them until they drift off by reading a book or rubbing their backs, then walk away. Sometimes leaving a nightlight on helps but with my 3 I have found that keeping the room as dark as possible is better an I run a fan at night, not pointed at them but away so the noise and air movement is better in the room. It is not a ceiling fan. They will start to sleep more deeply because they are tired and won't twilight as frequently, and when they do twighlight they may fuss but should soon settle into a routine. I will let mine fuss for as long as it takes. I try not to enter the room if I know they are okay but if I do enter the room to check on them I never talk to them, make eye contact or pick them up. I simply rub their backs, keep the room dark and wait for them to settle back into calmness. This will take weeks to accomplish and patience but they should get back into a deeper routine soon. And then you can do it all over again between 2 & 3! LOL

Good luck!

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G.

answers from Dallas on

Hi - while I didn't have twins - my now 7 yr old son still has to stick to the routine our getting him to sleep is a challenge. I will rub his back for a few minutes and then just sit next to him for 5 more mins. After that I move to a position where he can see me but we're not touching. I think the big thing is to offer comfort by your presence in the room without the human contact. It's not always easy and may take 30 mins the first night, by the end of 7-10 days you should have it to 10 mins or so. I see on one response that the twins were allowed to sleep together - I would think that would be comforting as well and strengthen their bond. Good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I would try to solve the nap situation during the day because that could be affecting their nighttime sleep. You didn't give much info on why they don't take naps well. Do you put them in their beds at the same time every day for their naps after a quiet activity like reading? Can you sit with them for a while to make sure they are actually going to sleep? I used to do that with my oldest and I got a lot of reading done during that time. We don't do cry it out in our home, so the only advice I have about the night wakings is to sit with them until they are very, very sleepy and then quietly leave. That is how we handled it when our kids went through periods like this. Could their waking be a result of new teeth coming in? Just remember it won't last forever. Good luck!

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