13 Month Old That Will Not Eat Dinner

A.,

When my daughter was an infant her doctor told me not to worry as long as she eats at least one good meal a day. That children will eat when hungry and NOT to worry. I have to say that was the best advice and I still use it. My daughter is 4 now and healthy so if she eats her lunch at school I don't worry if she's not eating a lot at dinner.

Dont worry, and dont set it up so that he *becomes* stubborn. If he's hungry, he'll eat. If (and I would not worry with a 13mo kid just yet, I do with my 6.5yo kid) he refuses dinner because he is holding out for dessert (ice cream in my son's case) then no, when he is hungry, he gets to eat dinner or something healthyish (ie, apples or bread & jam, but no sweets if he didnt eat his dinner).

I really think it has more to do with his growth rate and appetite cycle. My son (a very skinny little thing!) is absolutely famished when he gets home from school and will eat and eat and eat! (if you know my son, that's something to go wow!!! about!) Then at dinner, he will not eat! So ideally for him, I would have dinner at 4.

And, when he is about to have a growth spurt, you'll see him eating more, eating dinner, etc. Then it will drop off again.

Really, all you need to do is make healthy food choices available (give him a couple choices, because some days I just dont feel like eating oatmeal or green beans but other days I do want that) and when he's hungry, he'll eat.

Another big thing I learned with my son is to "close the kitchen" or stop letting him snack for an hour or two before dinner. Usually he ate breakfast good (like me, about an hour after getting up, we just aren't hungry when we wake up like my husband is), lunch ok, and it tended to go on and on when he was a toddler, so pretty much constant snacking all through the day really. Feed him a good healthy/filling snack like a banana or peanut butter & crackers or something that to us is just a snack but to a kid really is more like a mini meal) at 3ish then NO MORE FOOD until dinnertime at 5 or 6 (adjust to your schedule, ie if dinner is at 7, stop at 5). That was the best way I found to get him to eat more at dinnertime.

Now it's hard for me because at almost 8 he just goes and helps himself from the pantry or fridge when he's still "starving" after a bagel and an apple and a yogurt and I say ENOUGH, wait for dinner! Then of course at dinner he doesnt eat. but bagel+apple+yogurt = ok nutrition, not what I *want* him to be eating but ok enough, it's not chips and sodas and candy and ice cream.

Another tip to getting younguns to eat better is to offer dips. Simple stuff like tube pasta and a little cup of sauce, they can dip and eat. (that's the same as spaghetti) Or chicken cut up into strips/bites and sauce or dressing for them to dip and eat. My son suddenly started eating salad when he asked me for dressing and always (and only) ate it if he had dressing. (silly me. I thought toddlers liked plain lettuce haha)
Make ketchup, ranch dressing, sauce, soft peanut butter, and the like your mealtime friend. I saved some of those plastic cups that came in the pillsbury sweet cinnamon/orange rolls tubes, or the scoops from the big lemonaid drink mix, etc. Those little cups are nice (even a little measuring cup or dixie bathroom cups will be fine!) because otherwise the ketchup/whatever gets spread all over the plate and they need more cuz it's not in a pile anymore!

Hi,
If your child eats well all day at the baby sitter, he might not be all that hungry at night. Find out what exactly he eats during the day and what the last time is he gets a snack or food. And what time do you eat dinner etc.
A child should be eating something about every 2 -3 hours, if he had 5 feedings during the day and it was healthy food and snacks, dinner is merely to spent time together, don't worry too much about what he eats and you'll see if he is hungry he will eat.

It is really hard on the parent when your kid won't eat, but I am guessing that he is totally in it for the power struggle. It sounds like he's not eating even after sitting with him for so long, so make it easier on yourself...don't sit with him for an hour!!! Offer him foods that you know he can/will eat and let it go. If he eats, great, if he doesn't... he'll be okay! If he throws something on the floor, take it away. Also, do you eat your own dinner when he's eating? That might help too. Have him be a part of meal time so that the focus isn't just on him. Everyone should be sitting down to eat at the same time, or at least close to it. I know he's young and he may need to eat earlier, but maybe he could have a snack until your dinner is ready or at least maybe he could sit in his chair for a few minutes while you eat and play with some toys.

I know people always say this, but it really is true, even if it's cliche...he won't starve himself! He's old enough to participate in the power struggle and know when he's hungry. I really think if you stop making a big deal about it, he'll eat, maybe not right away, but he will. My daughter is 2.5 and she still goes through phases where she will eat one or two bites (sometimes zero bites) of dinner and she's done. And I still struggle with my inner mom saying 'she needs to eat'!!! BUT, I let it go and she's fine and she eats when she needs/wants to eat. Good luck and try to breathe easy...I know it's hard, but he'll be okay!

I would not force it. Just let him sit at the table and play with a toy, You can only offer food, if he doesn't want it, he's probably not hungry.
With my daughter it depends on how much she at daycare - some nights she ate a lot during the day and just isn't hungry. Teaching them that they have to eat even when they are not hungry just sets them up for all sorts of problems later on. Unless you child is underweight, I would respect his cues.

Good luck.

Does he not eat dinner only when he is at the babysitter during the day, or is it the same on the weekends when (I assume) he is not with the sitter?
If the former is true, then he may be eating too much at the sitter and he is not hungry yet. I would tell the sitter not to give him anything 2 hours before dinner time (if dinner is at 6, he should not eat after 4).
If there is a more general problem with him refusing to eat when you are trying to feed him (independent of being at the sitter or not), there may be an emotional/power struggle issue. I noticed that you wrote "..(he) will not dinner for me" and "he eats perfectly fine for the babysitter". I would try not to take it personal, and do not get emotional about it. If you let your emotions out and turn it into a 1 hour struggle, it will make things worse. Just offer him the food and encourage him to eat. But be casual about it, no pressure or no strong emotions. He will sense it. I would try to make mealtime as enjoyable as possible. But if he still refuses to eat, then you know it is not because of "you" or anything, but simply because he is not hungry yet.
Good luck! I hope things will get better for you soon. I know how emotionally hard it can be when your child does not eat.

Please don't make this a battle! If your child is away from you all day, you don't want to spend your few precious hours this way. At this age, kids are very good at eating when they're hungry and stopping when they're not. It's not for a few years that we teach them to completely ignore their body's signals like grown ups do. Offer him food at his chair. You sit down and eat and enjoy your meal. Then clean up what's left. This does not need to be an issue at all, especially if he's nursing. He'll be fine!

You may be trying too hard. What we have done with our two children is that we all sit down to dinner and leave empty plates in front of the children. We (the parents) plate our food and start to eat. We do not make a big deal of eating. Soon the kids clue in that it's time to eat and they don't have anything on their plates. They ask for food and usually eat it all up, even all their veggies!
The key is to not make it a big deal or fuss over it. They can feel your anxiety!
Hope this helps.

Kids at this age don't usually eat much for dinner. They typically eat a good breakfast, an ok lunch and hardly any dinner. I consider it a good night if I can get my 17 month old to eat a few bites! You have to remember that they don't grow much this year so it's normal for their appetites to not be as big. My son will drink plenty of milk in the evening, maybe eat some fruit but nothing that I would consider "dinner". My doctor says it's normal. It was frustrating for me at first but I was the only one bothered by it. My son is fine!

My 18 month old will not eat either! I know it's so frustrating because she eats well at day care all the time. I've talked to her teacher's so much that i know they take care in watching what she eats for me. It's unbelievable to me that she acts so picky at home but will eat for them. I've resolved not to worry about it b/c she's obviously eating and growing and therefore must be getting what she needs. I also consider that maybe eating with other kids (monkey see, monkey do) is a big part of this! Good Luck!

At 13 months I wouldn't worry. Is he still drinking milk? My son is an amazing eater at daycare, but less so at home. I would always check his daycare sheet and if he ate well throughout the day, I didn't worry about it. They are really just learning about food at this time. Don't make it a struggle. I know how frustrating it can be, but pick your battles. If he is healthy and growing, I would offer it, and accept his response.

My only other thought is, is he eating anything different at the sitter? I can offer exactly what the daycare offers, but he doesn't want it from me, so that may not be an answer, but something to try.