13 Week Old Using Contented Baby Schedule- Any Suggestions

Updated on September 12, 2008
P.D. asks from Largo, FL
21 answers

My daughter is 13+ weeks old and is on the schedule the contented little baby book. She unfortunately is still not sleeping through the night. I wake her every day by 7am and she can stay awake between 1.5-2.0 hrs. All of my friends tell me she should go to bed later but the book says they should be sleeping by 7pm and then wake at 10pm for a feeding. She then will wake up between 2-4am. She will be starting daycare next week and I am not sure how that will impact this as well. She takes several naps a day in total about 3.5hrs. She normally falls asleep by 6:45 and is very tired by 5:30. I just was curious for other peoples schedule and how much sleep their baby is getting through the night. Thank you.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the advice of letting her do what she wants. During the day I do let her sleep when she wants I just don't let her sleep longer than 2.5 at one time. I started following the book closely and then changed my mind after talking to the daycare provider and she said she would not follow the book. So I started to let her sleep when she wanted too. The only thing we do is the evening routine and I would love to keep her up later but she is just so tired and crabby. She had colic for several weeks and I was deathly afraid that she would start that again if we kept her up more than 2 hours. We wake her at 10pm to feed and she normally is back to sleep by 11:30 and normally wakes up by 4am (takes about 4oz). From what I am learning is that things will be everchanging so just let go!

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A.G.

answers from Punta Gorda on

I am assuming if she is going to day care, you are going back to work. When you get home from work schedules will probably be a little different. I always fed my babys cereal by 3months, while we were eating dinner. Washed faces and hands and tried to get dad to keep them happy while I cleaned up dishes. Then bath time, bottle and bed. My girls were both up from 4:00 to 8:00 by the time they were 8 weeks. I was able to spend 8:00 to 9:00 with dad, and then I washed up and went to bed myself. If you are having a hard time with them sleeping through the night I do not understand waking them at 10:00 when they may be in there deepest sleep. Good Luck!

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G.B.

answers from Naples on

Hi P.,

I used the Contented Baby Schedule and it did take a while to fall into place, a little longer than Gina Ford says. But it does work. By the time my baby was about 16 weeks she could go from her 10pm feed until 6am. I mainly followed her feeding schedule and did start my day as close to 7am as possible. I found the daytime nap schedule difficult to follow. I found it hard to keep my baby awake in the day until a scheduled nap. But I do believe that by following the feeding schedule you do meet the requirement of providing enough daytime nourishment for them to sleep better at night. My baby now goes down at 7pm and sleeps eleven and a half to twelve hours. It is a HUGE help to get to this stage. My baby reached it by about 6 months. I don't think it will help to keep your baby up later at night - I did try this, but to no avail. The Gina Ford night routine worked better for me ultimately. If daycare can accomodate the feeding schedule for you, that would be great. Lots of luck!

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K.D.

answers from Sarasota on

My advice is to not stress about it too much! She is only 13 weeks old. Most kids don't sleep through the night till they are much older than that. My son is 5 months old and we tried the whole schedule thing in preperation for daycare and it didn't work. So I started paying attention to HIS sleep patterns and signals. That worked much better. Like your daughter, he also got real sleepy around dinnertime so we let him nap for a couple of hours, woke him for a bottle then put back to sleep within an hour or so. Once I got better tuned into his signals, we found a loose schedule that worked well for him. He did begin sleeping through the night at about 3 1/2 months old, but he was never really interested in being up for long periods during the night... only to get fed then went back to sleep. We tried the 10 or 11 pm bottle, without success. He had a rhythm and woke at 2 am for a bottle whether he had a 10 pm bottle or not. They have such a strong internal clock. I have friends who have have their daughter on a very strict sleep schedule and it works well for them and her personality. See what works for the both of you. A strict schedule wasn't our cup of tea and he resisted it for weeks before I gave up and started to pa better attention. He is now a great sleeper and goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30 and will sleep all the way through till 7am. We might hear a little fussing or talking in the middle of the night (still at 2 am), but he can now put himself back to sleep. Create a routine and you'll be fine. You are doing a great job, I'm sure of it!

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M.A.

answers from Tampa on

Do yourself a favor and throw the book in the trash. As for advice from others... take what works for you and politely nod to other folks and let it go in one ear and out the other.

Your baby has her own personal body clock. The phrase "sleep like a baby" is an old wives tale. Babies RARELY sleep through the night. Unless there's something medically wrong, just go with her lead.

Once she's in daycare, give her a couple of weeks to adjust. She will adjust to the new schedule. If she's tired, let her sleep. If she's NOT tired, entertain/feed/clean her.

Don't compare her to other people's babies. Enjoy her and go with what SHE needs.

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T.Y.

answers from Sarasota on

I see you have very good advice already. From my Experience when my son was a baby (now 2) I never woke him up not even to feed because he was not happy about it if I did. He still hates to be woken. My son did not sleep through the night until maybe 6 months or so. About the time I stopped nursing I guess. I can understand wanting to get her on a schedule, and you will but it will change about every 3-4 weeks anyway so don't get used to it. Keep her morning and evenign routines teh same and you you will be set. Good luck and just try not to worry about everything. I am a worrier and it is exhausting! Be like my husband and "let it be"!!!

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L.C.

answers from Tampa on

At 13 weeks with my first daughter we had NO schedule, my son on the other hand has just always been a good sleeper. Don't expect too much, every baby is different and sets their own schedule. Both my children breast fed, and both my children co-slept for the first year; yet both were completely different experiences. For instance, my daughter never slept more than two hours until about 6 months, while my son slept 7 hours at at time almost immediately. Growth spurts, changes in routine, eating solid foods, weaning; all affected their sleeping schedules. Just when you get used to one thing, they'll throw you a curve ball. The only thing you can be sure of as a parent is that your children will dictate what your schedule is and they will let you know what they need. With my first, I was so anal about is she eating enough, sleeping enough, etc. By the time we had my son, I realized that as long as he's growing steadily and developing normally - he's fine! Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Fort Myers on

Your baby won't sleep according to a book's schedule. Your baby needs to sleep when she is tired. of course you can try to keep her up later in the evening, so she'll go down easier. but you need to work around you and your babys schedule, not a books. thats a lot of pressure to be putting on yourself. let the baby sleep in the mornings, and try to keep her up in the afternoons. (TRY! being the word) It will work out. No baby is the same.

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H.T.

answers from Tampa on

Well, I haven't read that book but did read BabyWise & The Baby Whisperer. Anyway, I think expecting her to sleep through the night already may be a bit early. I too am a 1st time mom (with an 8 mo. old) but my daughter slept through the night at 4 months and from what I understand, that was pretty good. (A friend recently had to let her daughter cry it out at 7 mos. b/c she was waking every 2 hours to nurse.) So, waking up once is normal for this age.
As far as her bed time, it depends what schedule you want her on. We are on a 7pm-7am thing, my friend is 9pm-9am. I think that's up to you--the baby can't tell time.
Good luck going back to work. I have been lucky to stay home so not sure how to help with that.

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M.A.

answers from Fort Myers on

I'm not familiar with that book, but I think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself expecting your baby to sleep through the night so early. My daughter didn't sleep through until she was 2 years old! That is extreme, but really, don't stress about this, she sounds like she had good sleep habits for so young.

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K.N.

answers from Sarasota on

To me t sounds like she's doing well. I have a daughter who is 5 and 1/2 months and she still wakes once per night. When she was your daughter's age she woke twice. Her schedule is similar. Wakes at 7 , back down for a nap around 8:30. She also has a nap at 11:30 and at 2:30.She's asleep for the night at 8:30 and wakes around 3:30-4 to eat. She used to wake at 2 and it's gotten later gradually. A couple of nights it was even 4:30. We are working toward an earlier bedtime. It's just hard for me to get the whole bedtime routine done with 2 kids. 3.5 hours for naps seems like a good amount. My daughter's biggest issue is waking from naps too early. Some days her naps are only a half hour each. Most babies don't sleep through the night so early. I've just come to accept it. I think a lot has to do with their weight and how much they eat during the day. She is breastfed and I don't produce a lot at one time so she has to eat round the clock. I have been gradually introducing formula over the last few weeks and that's when she started to sleeplonger. If you are breastfeeding, I'm not suggesting you do that. In my case it's due to low supply. I go back to work in 2 weeks. Goodluck!

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H.B.

answers from Tampa on

I definately agree to ditch any 'baby-training' books that tell you to put a baby on a schedule. The only schedule a baby needs (or wants!) is their own. Babies don't read books, they just do what comes naturally and if you follow their lead (like letting them sleep as long as they need or want any time of the day or making things quiet/dim when they show signs of being sleepy) things will flow very smoothly for them. Sure, it may not be the most convenient for you, but in general, babies are not convenient :-)

I would not wake her in the am, or from any nap. I would just follow her lead and signs and let her eat, rest and potty as needed!

If you want to read good books about how to follow your baby and avoid traditional old-fashioned schedules I highly recommend the Dr. Sears books... The Baby Book, Night time Parenting, Attachment Parenting.

She is only 13 weeks and still figuring out how to live outside the womb! Routines are fine, but rigid schedules and waking a sleeping newborn are something else. Good luck with the changes and congratulations on your new baby! Cherish these times with her, she will be grown before you know it!

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A.D.

answers from Fort Myers on

Let your baby tell you what schedule is good for her. Every person is different. My girls are 6 & 8 now, and I never woke them specifically to eat or just to get up because a book suggested it. Her body will tell you what it needs. It's harder the first time around because being a mom is such a new experience. We search and read all the books of the experts, but honestly your daughter will be your best teacher.
A.

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A.C.

answers from Tampa on

I have to agree with the other moms, the book needs to go. Your baby seems to be doing pretty good considering she is only 13 weeks old! I believe in letting a baby sleep if they are tired! People would give similar advice, keep her up, don't let her go to bed so early but I never felt comfortable doing that so I didn't! It sounds like she is well on her way to developing a pattern so I wouldn't worry about it! I totally know how you feel about going back to work for the first time after having a child. It was the hardest thing I had to do and I hated it initially but in the end you will adjust and you and the baby will be better for it! Good luck and don't give up!

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L.P.

answers from Tampa on

Well, let me tell you my story. My mother in law thought me this. My daughter used to got to bed by 8 will get up at 3 and then again at 9 will stay asleep till 11 and will take another nap at 3. Well no easy work for me. I followed my mother in law advise and believe me it worked. Her plan: "let her cry at night" at first I was like "are you crazy!!!". Well I'm thinking she's got three of her own and they're not dead or mentally damaged let me try.
So the first night was terrible, keeping in mind my mother in law said still go check her make sure she was not cold or wet or to check her bed to see if there was something there that will have bitten her, I wnt to check my baby as usual when she got up at 3 she was fine so I put her back to bed she cried for about 20 min. Believe me at that time I felt bad but my hubby helped me by telling me she was going to be fine. After that she got up at 9 as usual. Next night she only made a small noise like wanting to cry but not at the same time I still went to her room and check her she was fine and had gone back to sleep already. The third night no a sound. YESSSS I was FREEEE!!. From that point on she will go to bed between 8:30 to 9 will stay asleep till 9am will take a nap at 2pm which it was perfect cause it allow me to prepare dinner she will get up around 3;30 just in time to greet daddy coming back from work and the cycle started again. I gained so much more free time and much needed sleep time.
Hope this helps I asure you it works, it did for me.
Don't feel like you've been a bad mom you are just breaking a bad habit that like everything it may not be well taken at first.
Regards,
L.

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K.B.

answers from Chattanooga on

I am a mom of 5 (oldest 11 and youngest 5)and my suggestion would be to throw the book away also. We looked at several books like that including the Growing Kids God's Way book that was very popular when my kids were small. I could never begin to understand trying to enforce such a rigid schedule for a newborn. I did do other things though. When the baby started acting tired I would lay them in the crib and let them fall asleep on their own. We let her make the schedule. My husband and I would tag team. My daughter would usually wake up between 8 and 9 at night and be awake for a couple of hours. I would lay down and sleep. He would bring her in between 11 and 12 for me to feed her then she would go back down and sleep till morning(around 7). As she got a little older she started to stay up more and cut out the evening nap on her own. She would be up around dinner time and stay up till about 10. I would feed her then she slept through the night from 10. She slept through the night by 3 months. I had twins that were preemie and they slept through at 4 months doing the same thing. In fact, all 5 of my children did the same thing. The big thing for us was putting them down while they were still awake so they learned to fall asleep on their own. Friends were always amazed that we would just go put the kids down and they would not hear anything else from them. This was a result of starting to do this when they were infants.

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D.G.

answers from Tampa on

You will probably see your baby sleep through the night after daycare. When my little girl started daycare @ 8wks the first night after she had been at daycare all day she slept and has slept through ever since. Another thing that I did start doing was when she would wake in the middle of the night, I was reducing the amount i was feeding her so she didn't feel that was a "needed" meal. I have been very lucky and count my blessings each morning after a complete night sleep.

Best of Luck

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D.E.

answers from Sarasota on

Hi, My twins are also 13 weeks old. They are severe preemies. Born 11 weeks early. They are on a 3 hr feeding schedule. I let them sleep as much as they want during the day. In the evening they are awake on their own for a few hours. I give them the last bottle at approx 11pm, and let them sleep. They usually go until 3:30 to 4am. Then they wake up at 7am on their own.
I do not follow the books on feeding schedules, due to the severity of the prematurity, as the rules dont apply to my kids. I let them tell me when they are hungry.
I am 36 first time stay at home mom.

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T.P.

answers from Tampa on

I went through something similar. My pediatrician told me to stop waking the baby! I would pick him up as soon as he murmured or let out a little cry. That apparently is normal but by picking him up I would wake him up totally. Once I resisted the urge he would sleep through the night. I would still wake at every little sound but he didn't! To this day, my son can sit up in bed, eyes wide open and look around and then plop down in the bed, right back to sleep. You have to make sure her tummy is full on that last feeding so she can make it through the night.

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J.G.

answers from Tampa on

Hi P.,
My almost 1 year old daughter didn't start sleeping through the night until she was about 7 months old. Every baby is different and just rest assured that any book is mostly opinion. You can go to the book store and find books that all say conflicting things and it could drive any sane person crazy. You have to find what works for you. My pediatrician explained it best "sleeping is a learned behavior". So True!!!
Once I stuck with that philosophy my whole life changed. I would put my daughter down a little later and she started sleeping. She still wakes up and I breast feed her but most nights she sleeps from 9pm till about 7:30am. I guess if you try to keep your baby up then once they finally do go down they will be exhausted.
Good Luck to you and hang in there. Your baby fits into your life and not vice versa. They will adjust and be fine. How was it going back to work?

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

You are pulling a me, so stop it! I was reading the "healthy sleep happy child" book and stressing out so much. My husband just about had it with me. I agree, throw it in the trash. She will never adhere to what the "experts" tell you she should. No baby, or close to no baby, will sleep longer at night than your is now. She is technically "sleeping through the night" just to let you know. My son started sleeping 7-6 at 6 months and I think that was early for a lot of kids. I do believe I put him to bed later at your daughters age, more like 9, but only if my son was fine with that. I actually had a friend tell me to force him to stay up that long and I did it. That was stupid. If she is tired at 7, put her to bed. You have many more months of waking at night just to warn you, daycare or not.

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M.S.

answers from Tampa on

I understand the pressures of balancing work and a child and daycare and all the rest. But she's a baby, and your job is to arrange your life to meet her needs, not to expect her to arrange her life to meet yours. Our baby boy used to wake up in the middle of the night for feeding every three hours. At eight months old, now he goes to bed at about 8 and sleeps until 5:30 in the morning, and has for about three months. You can almost set the clock by it. But HE set the schedule, not us. And isn't it interesting that he chose the natural rhythm of day and night. He's a happy baby, very flexible and adaptable, well behaved in public and very easy to care for. But he decides when it is time to eat and sleep and poop. As the adults, we get to decide where, because there is shopping to do, people and places to see.

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