R.J.
Aspies respond to logic... so if someone is making a logical argument that she should sleep with them, she'll likely do so.
Same token, if someone is making a logical argument that she SHOULDN'T be sleeping with someone, she most likely won't.
The REAL key, is logic. It can't be based in emotions, and it can't be a moral argument. Of course Aspies *have* emotions, but their understanding and relating to other people's emotions, not to mention social contracts, is very very different. They tend to be extraordinarilly succesful adults, but not socially. ((A *great* example of an Aspie adult, btw, is Chloe from 24... for others, just look down any hall in the Microsoft complex)).
A problem with logical v emotive: is the "If you want me to be your friend" argument IS (at face value) a rational & logical argument... but people make the argument as an emotive one. The same way "If you want me to be your friend you won't stab me with a knife" is logical. So kids can have a LOT of sway with Aspies with the whole "If you want _______, then you do ______". Because the statement is taken at face value.
Aspie kids have hormones just like everyone else, but the *arguments* against following those hormonal impulses (in our culture) tend to be emotive and fear based, which just doesn't work in a logical context. Even the whole "imagine having a baby at 14" argument is emotive. Girls are ENTIRELY capable of being mothers (and good ones) at age 14. The emotive argument is the whole fear thing (fear of changing social commitments, school, time, etc.). An aspie girl, presented with the mom argument will usually look at each of the problems associated at teen pregnancy and calmly sort out solutions and answers that make sense to HER. The disease argument is even easier, because the answer is to use protection. Even though it's not 100% neither is getting in a car and not getting in an accident. The whole "he'll leave you" argument is also as easily dealt with by the logical brain. Over 1/2 the marriages in this country end in divorce, so it's 50/50 over whether two parents would be together ANYWAY.
The way I know parents of aspies who have handled the whole sex thing is to explain the emotions the PARENTS would have. AKA "It would make me very unhappy if you started having sex, even though I know you believe you would be capable of x,y,z... there are factors that you wouldn't be able to fully understand until you've had at least 5-10 years more experience in school and growing up. Also, the kids you would be having sex with don't have your ability to think things through. No healthy adult partner would sleep with a child because it creates an uneven relationship. So only unhealthy and mentally unstable adults have sex with teens. If you want me to be happy, you will not have sex until you are x years old, in large part so that your partners will be healthy, mature adults who also have your ability to think things through and act responsibly.
But yeah... while you can treat an aspie kid or an adhd kid just like a regular kid... it just doesn't work as well. There are a lot of aspergers support groups and sites out there that would have those 1001 tips tricks and coping mechanisms. I know most of the adhd ones, but while aspies and adhd'ers tend to get along famously, and have similar issues... the SOLUTIONS (aka tips/tricks/coping mechanisms) are often polar opposites. ((Telling an adhd kid the whole happy/unhappy thing, for example would send them into an emotive spiral.
