14 Month Old Scared of Bathtime

Updated on May 21, 2008
N.S. asks from Alexandria, VA
25 answers

My 14 month old daughter slipped in the tub weeks ago (we don't allow her or her twin brother to stand during bath, but she did it anyway and slipped before we could put her back down). She landed on a toy or the tub plug and ended up with two welts that turned into bruises. Ever since that happened, she screams the second her feet hit the water and doesn't stop until she is out of the tub. Nothing bad has happened in the tub in weeks. Is there anything we can do to make bathtime fun for her again?

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all the helpful advice. We have tried a few of the suggestions and she responds best to being told she is going to be getting a bath and we are going to make sure she doesn't get hurt. We also tell her how brave she is and how proud we are of her. I tried giving her a bath in the sink and she wasn't as scared, but the next day she cried when I washed her hands in the sink. I guess she thought I was going to stick her in it! I also let her bath with me, but she cried as soon as a put her down in front of me and started washing her. I plan to get the cute ducky blow up tub and letting her play in it w/out the water and later using it for bathing if she doesn't stop crying soon. Thanks again to everyone that responded.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Try and give her a bath in the kitchen sink, or maybe you can hold her in the shower and bathe her this way, or if you want to get really creating, buy her a blow pool and give her a bath in that. J. mom for 24 years. J.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi! My daughter had a similar experience at 11 months. I climbed right in the tub with her, and she wanted to join me & we played. The next time she was over it. Maybe it will work for you.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

One of my daughters was scared of bathtubs, too. I found that instead of putting her in the tub with water (even though it was only about 2 inches deep), she was much happier when I would sit her on the kitchen counter next to the sink and let the water run while I slashed water on her different parts to wash them one at a time. It was a bit more time consuming, but it worked to just wash her off quickly one section at a time (face & head, legs & feet, arms & hands, chest & tummy, back, diaper area).

Then, 2-3 times a week, when I needed to wash her hair and bathe her more thoroughly, I would put her in the bath WITH me. I would sit in the tub, with her in my lap, and we would bathe together quickly. By my being in the tub with her, she would be more comforted. I would talk to her while I bathed her, so she was more soothed. I would get in the tub, get her washed and rinsed, and get out as quickly as possible so that she wouldn't be as scared.

It was only about 8 or so weeks until she wasn't scared anymore, and I could go back to bathing her by leaning over the side of the tub.

Just be patient - before you know it, she will be back to the old routine.

Good Luck!

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

We had a similar incident.(My son was the one that got hurt - similar age too.) You may find that she is going to have some general anxiety issues as she grows up -- not because of this incident but because it might just be part of her personality. So learning how to cope with her fears now will serve you well later in other areas.

1. Before the bath, sit her on your lap and talk to her in a soothing voice. Tell her it is bath time and you understand that is scary to her, but that you will make sure that she doesn't get hurt. Remind her of the safety rules. And tell her you're very proud of her. Lot's of hugs and kisses. Don't give her the option of OPTING OUT. So don't ask her if she wants a bath, just direct her to it in a gentle way.

2. When you put her in the bath -- make sure that her brother is not splashing her or being loud -- you might even bathe them separately for awhile (I know -- it's hard!). Don't take your hands off of her. Make her feel very secure.

3. Finish the bath quickly.

4. When she is done (even if she cries the whole time.) Tell her what a great job she did and maybe even give her a reward.

Over time she should improve and you should gradully introduce play in the bath (you don't want her to be afraid of water for life.) It will help her move toward independence and security on her own.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.R.

answers from San Diego on

Oh, I feel your pain! Same thing happened to my son. My trick now, is to put him in the bath w/out the water. Then I turn on the water and give him some tupperware to play with the running water while I soap him up. I only let the water get a few inches deep (so he's not scared) and then he just plays while I rinse him off. So far, so good. But, my husband tried to put him in the tub with the water already in it the other night and my son freaked out! So, I think putting him in the empty bath has worked for me/us. Good luck.

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V.A.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi N.,

Do you have a cushy mat on the bottom of the tub? Also, you could bathe her in the sink for a while. How about those soap crayons so she can draw on the side of the tub. Another way would be where you get in the tub with her. You want to work her through this so it doesn't develop into a long-term phobia.

V.

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S.G.

answers from Reno on

N.-
My 16th month son had a bad fall in the tub, that involved lots of blood, and he did not want to take a bath again for awhile. I ended up getting a bath tub mat that had fish on it and put him in the tub with no water during the day so we could play. He loved the fish mat and that he did not slip anymore, and thought it was funny that he was in the tub with no water. That was 3 months ago and he again loves bath time. Good luck!

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S.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try this:
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4910784

I use mine on the bathroom counter, we have a long counter top. Read the reviews, they're helpful. You could also find it at Amazon.com, with lots more reviews. Use search word Kelgar.
For my older daugher, I paste those nonslip stickers on the bottom of the tub so she doesn't slip. Make sure to put them really close to each other, the spacing should be no bigger than her feet. And make sure to tell her always stay on the ducky, starfish, etc. I got mine from bed, bath and beyond.

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A.B.

answers from Reno on

A similar thing happened to my nephew when he was very young. We started out by sponge bathing him next to the tub for a couple of days. Then we put him in the tub (with no water) for his sponge bath for another couple of days. Next we moved to putting a little bit of water (barely enough to cover the bottom of his feet) for the sponge baths. Pretty soon, we were up to sitting in a little water and then bathing as normal. It took a long time, and he did scream once or twice (we didn't think it would be a good idea to make bathtime a punishment by forcing him, so we took him out when he screamed). But in the end, it paid off and now he loves his bath again. Another good idea is some sort of distraction (a pretty new toy that you only allow her to play with while in the tub) that will help her forget about the fear and just have fun again.

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi N. when i daughter in law had this problem with our granddaughter 4 and grandson 1 she got in the bath tub with them and it seemed to settle her down and got all kinds of bath toys and soap crayons and bath is fun aagain L. m

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a suggestion, how about you get in the tub with her and also take her in the shower. This may calm her fears and show her that it was not the water or tub that hurt her. How does she feel about the toy that she fell on. You might try showing her the toy first in the water, then take it out saying bad, bad toy, you hurt my little darling. Make a game out of it everytime your daughter goes into the tub.

Good Luck

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P.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

try bathing her with out filling the tub with water use a cup to puor the water over her head and just let the water run slowly

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A.M.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Switch to a shower for a while, thats what we did when our twins suddenly for no reason developed a tub phobia.

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

My son went through a similar experience at about that age. He would scream whenever we put him in the bath, but we had no idea why (though we were pretty sure something had scared him). You got some great ideas from the other moms, I don't think we found any special trick. We put him on a towel (which helped a little) and Daddy got in the tub with them (he has an older brother, too) but that didn't seem to help. After some time, about a month I think, he got through it - I think it came with increased physical control. I just wanted to encourage you that she will get through it and bath time will become great fun. Just a thought, I don't know if anyone else suggested it, but you may try lowering the water level and see if that helps her, then you can bring it back up when she begins to enjoy bath time again.

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M.L.

answers from San Diego on

Wow great advice ladies!

Here's my question? Is she afraid of the bathtub without water? What about if the water is running but not being held in the tub? Try to get her to play in the tub. Maybe put on her and your son in their swim suits and get in yours and act like you guys are hanging out in the pool. Then try to add water to see if she freaks out. Try it without stopping it up at first and if she's ok with it then put the stopper in.

Good luck N.. I hope you come up with a solution.

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B.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is she just afraid of falling or falling on something that will hurt her?
If it just falling then put a non slip mat down and tell her that it will protect her from falling.
If it is falling on something have her help you take all the toys out of the tub and the bathroom if that helps and then have her help you get the bath ready.
Or if your sink is big enough, give her a bath in the kitchen sink. My son loves that still at three years old.

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N.W.

answers from San Diego on

My granddaughter suddenly disliked her bath and cried after she accidentally pooped in the water. I purchased a small doll at Target that came with all kinds of bath accessories - and this distraction of bathing the doll in the tub got her to like her bath again.

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C.K.

answers from San Diego on

I often take baths with my children, now 4 and 2.5. They love helping wash me as I wash them.
good luck

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son was scared of the bath around 11 months old. He did not have a trauma however he would not go in and he cried and cried. I took a bath with him, I started with the bath empty and got in with him, we took a bath together and I filled the bath while we were both in it. After two times taking a bath with him he went right back to his own bath as usual. Your daughter might benefit from taking some of the pressure off bath time for a while. Maybe a shower with you or a bath every other day for a while may help. If you make a big deal out of the tub she will probably continue to resist. Also chances are she will stand again and fall and it may be too soon for her to experience that again. I would just take a bath with her a couple times so she can get clean, feel safe and forget her fear. Take care and good luck.
Meri, Mother of one 18 month old boy and a LMFT

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A.K.

answers from San Diego on

We had the same experience. We put a towel on the bottom of the tub and told her it was her "cushion". We explained that it would keep her from falling. We did that for a couple of weeks and she was cured.

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L.H.

answers from San Diego on

As the mother of 4 grown children, take her in the shower with you for a while. Just so she sees you can stand up in the shower and the water won't cause problems. Even though she might not be sharing bathtime with her twin, when its just her and you in the shower and then you finish up your shower without her, it will make her want splashy bathtime with her brother again. Try it. Just a few days.

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P.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

My now-13 month old developed the same problem about a month ago. Something scared her in the tub and now she screams when I put her in it. She used to LOVE the bath - so sad. I just bathe her in the kitchen sink now, and for some reason she's not scared in there. I figure one of these days she'll get over her fear of the tub.

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M.A.

answers from San Diego on

Hi N., I have a 3 yr old boy that had a similar issue at some point, the way we "conquer" his fear was I will sit on the edge of the tub and sat him on my lap, I put some water toys, a boat, a shark and other water toys, and litle by litle I started putting him in without him realizing it, before he knew it he was playing his own stories in the tub. Just make sure you use an anti-skid mat, they sell litle antiskid figures (ducks) that are perfect for that. Just be patient, I know been home is a lot more stressing than working out of the house. Just remember how blessed you are with your babies and that this stage will not last a life time, before you know it they will grow out of that. Good Luck, and God bless you and your family.

M.

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H.H.

answers from San Diego on

It will pass. A similar incident happened with our daughter, and I thought she'd never sit down in the tub again. We had weeks of her standing in the tub allowing us to rinse her off and quickly wash her hair. We had to go back to the bath tub seat for awhile - then she'd squat in the tub briefly and then eventually she'd sit still. I do have to say it was a process, and I had to use all my patience, but now she plays mermaid in the tub and lays on her belly in the water and loves bath time. Hang in there.

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D.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

How about putting her in the tub on a little sponge bed that is used for infants in the tub and then fill it up. Do you take a bath with your child/ren? Maybe this would comfort her to see you in the bath with her. I hope this will help. Your in my prayers.
D.

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