I have 14 month old twins who we love and cherish very much. We were enjoying our twins thinking life is getting easier again just to find out that i'm pregnant again (6 weeks and 6 days). It was a big surpise because we did use contraception. We don't know if we should go ahead with this pregnancy as our twins will be 21 months old when the third is born. Our twins are picky eaters and very very low percentile in weight so we need to spend extra time feeding them so they gain weight. We also want to provide love and attention to the children we have and are not sure we can handle three children of such young age. My husband travels out of town at least a week a month if not more so it gets harder during those time. When around he is very helpful with the kids, feeding them, diapering, playing etc. I work from home currently as we have a Nanny who takes care of our twins but when the third comes into picture, i'm thinking life will be upside down, work will have to stop and it'll be havoc for the new kid and the twins. I love my kids but I do like my field of work and prefer working for my own sanity and security. Has anyone had 3 kids within 2 years? How has it been? What should we do? Financially we have no issues and can support 3 kids, but physically and mentally will we be able to?
I'd also like to add that I'm more inclined towards having the baby than not but just need support and encouragement that I can do it and it is the right thing to do. Tips and advice from others. My husband on the other hand is not convinced that we shold go ahead with it, though he says he will fully support my decision whatever it may be and love the child the same as the other two. I was honestly quite excited to find out I was pregnant but my husbands reaction has dampened my spirits and put doubts in my head.
Thank you so much for such encouraging responses. Not everyone i have shared the news with has been positive and encouraging. So thank you, your positive words has touched my heart. I had my first u/s at 8.5 weeks and the baby is looking good! We are very nervous about the future but I'm sure well get through.
You can do it! Congrats and every mom has doubts and one time or another, get into a mom's group or twins club and start talking to other moms with the same scenario. It will be ok!
Hang in there~
M
Give it up for open adoption if it is really a problem. No one said adoption is only for unmarried teens.
I agree with the other posters - this baby is a blessing!! My parents had 3 children within 2 years. Actually the twins were 20 months old when the next one arrived. My parents survived - in fact, they went on to have 5 more children after that (each of us 2 years apart after that)!! I'm sure it was beyond hectic and I have no idea what they went through (I am the youngest of the 8 children) but I know it can be done. This baby is a blessing!!!!!!
I am sorry, but I don't see how you could possibly think about terminating the pregnancy!! Especially having twins I would think you already know the challenges of multiple children and how to handle them. There is always enough room in ones heart for their children. Please reconsider your thoughts on this. Children are a blessing.
I wish you luck and Congrats!
I think right now you are still in "shock" mode. I have twins myself and I understand how hectic things can get and I also understand all the things you mentioned above....I personally would have a whole list of other things but my twins are 8 years old now so to have another one would surely make our world turn upside down or so it would feel. However I couldn't and wouldn't ever be able to terminate or give up that child. I think you are fearing the unknown which is perfectly normal. Give yourself some time adjust and know that the unknown is just that but nothing to fear....things will work themselves out. You will see ;()) more than anything else trust in the lord. If you don't trust HIM then Satan has that opportunity to fill yur head with nothing more than lies. Take it as a blessing.
I was pregnant back in December and had a miscarriage -God knows what is best for you and your family....we had just began DaveRamsey and trying to pay off debt, now I'm working full-time because the other girl got fired two weeks ago. I would have been due in late August so I can't even imagine if I was in that situation-I want another one but I realize that the timing just wasn't right and obviously God knew that too. You don't know what is going to happen so relax and don't let the fear of the unknown control you.
Please don't terminate out of inconvenience...While that may be your choice to make a very selfish one for the reasons you've stated. My three kids are all 2 years apart and I WORK FULLTIME as well. This pregnancy is a blessing and I have no doubt you will be joyous that you've added a little one to your family. Best wisshes.
I have three kids, individuals so no twins very close in age. The third just kinda fits in, easy and I can only imagine a third single baby after twins would feel that much easier. Congrats and enjoy three blessings I think you will! Our last was NOT planned but so, so, so happy she is here
You will be able to do it. You take it one day at a time. You will be amazed at how you just take care of what/who needs to be taken care of, and figure things out as you go. Will it be easy? Probably not, but that is no reason to terminate a pregnancy. It just isn't good enough justification. For me the emotional turmoil of knowing I willingly aborted a baby because it would've made life too complicated would far outweigh the challenges of having another one.
My advice would be to get in contact with a local twins club. They have been a life saver for me!! Our twins will be 2.5 when baby #3 comes, so definitely not as close as yours. But, in my local twins club we have moms who've done what you are about to do. One mom has four kids under four (3.5 years, 20 month old twins, and a newborn). Another mom had two sets of twins 11 months apart, and yet another had two sets of twins 17 months apart. Yet another was pregnant three months after her twins were born (needed fertility for the twins, surprised by the third). There are women who can help you with this challenge you are about to face. Get in contact with them to help save your sanity.
Um absolutely! I don't really think it matters how old the kids are, kids are a lot of work no matter how old they are - just different challenges at different times. I would absolutely not even think twice about not having this baby,
I know exactly how overwhelming everything feels right now! I had my 3rd when my twins had just turned 2. I found out I was pregnant just after my husband was deployed for a year in Iraq, and she was born 5 months before he got back, so I was on my own with 2 year old twins and an infant for those months. Fortunately, I also had a part time nanny, fabulous friends and parents, and a fair amount of luck. I know you're freaking out now about how hard everything is going to be, but I'll tell you this-- my kids are now 5,5 and 3, and they are the best of friends. It's amazing how the youngest brings out aspects of the twins' personalities that I may never have seen otherwise, and how she is a great "buffer" when they've just had enough of each other. She's also my little buddy and a joy to have around. I don't work right now, but I did just finish graduate school last month so I have had other responsibilities as well.
Here's the thing- it does get easier in a lot of ways once they get older. There are times when it's totally overwhelming, and there are other times when it's very manageable. My twins were fairly easy toddlers, though they gave up napping on the young side and they certainly had their terrible twos moments. I know that soon they will all be in school full time and I'll have time to work and do my own thing again. Think about the long term rather than just the infant/toddler stage, and see if you feel any calmer about it. Feel free to contact me offline if you have any questions about specific logistics or anything!
Best of luck!
All of my children are close together. I didn't have 3 kids under 2 but when I had my 3rd my other two were 27 months and 14 months at that time so it was close to the same.
I think it has really been a blessing to have them so close in age and they are all best friends and LOVE playing together! I know I haven't had twins but I bet things will start getting easier for you! I think you'll do a WONDERFUL job with 3 under 2! What a blessing! I know it seems hard and I hope you don't decide to have an abortion.... you'll have so much fun with your sweet babies!
Good Luck!
If you can swing it financially & you are able to have some help with the Nanny &/or maybe a once-weekly cleaning lady or something, I say go for it. I do not have any twins, but my kids are 17 months apart & we were fairly young when we had both of them (22 with our first & barely 24 with our 2nd). Just like anything else, as your twins get older they get a little bit easier & when the new baby comes you'll adjust as you have once before. You likely feel all riled up because you just weren't mentally prepared for this news, but I'm sure you can handle it. Best of luck to you & your family!!
I had 6 month old twins when I got pregnant with our third. It was crazy, I couldn't believe it. It is difficult - they are now 3.5 and 2, but they play together so well I wouldn't have had this any other way! We haven't even had any sibling rivalry. They do argue over toys but that's pretty standard. My husband didn't know what to think when i told him we were pregnant, i denied the pregnancy for the first trimester. I so did NOT want to be pregnant. But now i can't imagine it any other way. It sounds like you have help which will be a huge benefit to you. Good luck Mama whatever you choose. Feel free to email me if you want to talk about our experiences. Oh one plus is the twins have been potty training since about 2.5 and by their birthday they got it down, their little brother is working very hard and will use the toilet 8 out of 10 times. So I am anticipating an early potty trainer there, of course now that I am saying that he will wait, but either way it's work and it's fun!
S.
My aunt had a 7 yo, a 9 month old and decided she just wanted one more, hopefully a girl. Well, it turned out to be twins. So she ended up with an 8 yo, an 18 month old and 2 newborns. It was a major adjustment for the family having 3 that were so young, but today they are healthy and happy 21 yo twins and 23 yo older bro. You can do it if you want to.
My aunt had 2 sets of twins and a single under 5 .... you can do it!
I have twins and would have loved to have had a third - just wasn't meant to be. 18- 24 months were the most hectic w/ my twins... but they were RUNNERS!! your sound a bit more subdued. we also had a nanny while I worked and in retrospect i think I would have done the au pair route ... that way you can schedule them to be there for you during dinner, bath time, etc. rather than just 8-6. It's also MUCH less expensive. Something like 5-7K to get them over and then $125 a week. Several of my friends do this - their agency is national... if you decide to go this route PM me and I'll get you the name.
You can totally do it if you had to do it. You just have to decide that you want to.
But it sounds like you're looking for validation on doing what you really want to do which is not to go through with the pregnancy. I personally couldn't advocate that because although I'm legally and politically prochoice, I'm morally and staunchly prolife (I wholly appreciate getting to choose the right to never be forced into having an abortion). That said, terminating the pregnancy, if that's what you feel you must do, is legal and safe physically. But don't do anything without talking with your husband's input and make sure that it's a joint decision.
