My 15 month old constantly is fussing when he is around me. My husband is a football coach and when we go to games, when he is in my lap is just fusses and throws big fits. It's really embarrassing. BUT when someone comes and takes him (to give me a break), he is perfectly fine with him, of course, as long as he can't see me. I don't understand why he is so upset when he is with me. He does this ALOT at home. And since I stay at home, it's constantly going on. He plays some and mostly in the mornings but after his nap it's a constant battle to keep him happy. I am physically and emotionally drained from all of this. I don't know how to get him to stop doing this. Any suggestions? I just weaned him in the last week but this behavior has been going on for 3-4 weeks. And like I said, he is perfectly happy with other people.
He is a busy boy? Mine is always on the go and he wouldn't hardly sit still for anything. Practice what you want him to do at home. Make 10 minutes a day time that he has to sit at his table (or high chair) entertaining himself. Do this in the afternoon. Call it his "work time" and give him some activities. Boys like tools and such so maybe some play hammers and pegs. Let him bang away.
all I can say is that children can pick up on their mama's emotions and if you are drained and frustrated, then he is going to pick up on that and be upset. sounds like you just need a good break every now and then! have you heard of MOPS? it's a program that is held at churches where they watch your kids (i think it's age 4 and younger) for a small fee (or if you can't afford it, they will work with you!) and you get a couple hours in the morning kid-free to talk with other women, they sometimes do crafts. Just google MOPS and you can see if there is a church near you that does this program. or you can always try and find a MDO (mom's day out) program, where you drop your kids off usually a couple times a week, and they watch them for several hours so you can run errands, go to appointments, or just relax at home! they are usually very inexpensive (one around here is about $3/hr. and they provide snacks)
when you ARE with your son, maybe you could try some new activities with him...fingerpainting, playdough, making music, even letting him help you with simple chores like putting silverware away or "folding" the laundry. maybe he is just bored and wants to try some new things! I know my younger daughter (now 2) seemed to want to grow up a lot faster than her older sister!
A 15 month old probably does not want to sit in your lap. He wants to explore, especially at something as exciting as a football game.
I assume he walks and climbs? You may need to walk with him every 15 to 20 minutes. Just walk for a few minutes, but take him to a different section.
Will he still sit in a stroller? Roll him around the stadium, let him look at the band show him the cheerleaders and the mascot. If other people(that you know) want to hold him or carry him or walk around with them, let them. I know at my daughters high school, the coach and his wife have young children and the kids love taking those kids all over the stadium or sitting next to the coaches wife holding their children for practically the entire game. I noticed she has learned to enjoy this time by visiting with the other people around her.
At home he also will need to entertain himself a little more. Teach him how to do this. When you are doing something in the kitchen put him on the floor with a few toys or put the playpen close to where you will be, put some of his toys inside with him.
If I was mopping the floor or vacuuming and was worried about her being unsupervised I would sometimes put my daughter in her high chair with a wash cloth and have her "clean the tray" with the cloth. She loved doing this. Or I would put a paper bag with some of her toys in the bag and have her pull them out and then put them back in the bag. Sometimes, I would have a box with a lid, or an old purse. She loved seeing what was in the bag. I tried to not leave her in the chair for more than 15 minutes.
Just sounds like he is a true toddler not a baby anymore and is ready to move on to more active play and activities. He has watched his older brother and is ready to be as active as him.
My daughter gets crabby when she's bored. She is 2 1/2.
I know how it is, when you stay at home, you are constantly cleaning, feeding and doing chores. Sometimes it is hard to find time to take a walk, go to the park or read BUT DO IT.
He may need to just get out of the house and play.
I know he goes to the football games but he is confined on your lap. They never like that. Maybe you can sit somewhere where he can roam a little.
Both my girls would get angry and upset when not being paid attention to. With all there is to do as a SAHM, sometimes its hard to find the time to just play but he may be wanting more attention.
Just try it, next time he acts up, take him outside, get him OUT OF the house, different scene and let him go, let him roam and play. Try the library, they do FREE toddler times, etc.
Most likely he feels your frustration. make the afternoons fun for all of y'all. Is there anyway you can put him in a Mom's day out for one day a week.
I agree with the other posts. He is restless. But it sounds like a little more than that. He is only doing it with you probably because he's allowed. And, I would add that he does need to learn to sit still at times too. This must be practiced at home before it will work in public. There are times when it is important and times when vital that he sit still. You have to practice this and discipline in order for it to be learned. A football game isn't one of those times, but if it is practiced, then when you need him to sit still for a short while, he will. My kids could be still and quiet at a funeral or wedding or church service or doctor's exam as long as it wasn't too long. If you want him to behave a certain way in public with you, you have to practice it, and then insist on it. As long as he is getting away with something, he will continue to do it no matter what it is. You also have to allow him room to wiggle for all the other times. Sit somewhere else where you feel he really isn't bothering anyone. You have to find a balance with letting him move around some and yet not bother other people. He can also learn to sit still, even in your lap, even when he doesn't want to.
J.,
Just taking some stabs in the dark with this but, maybe there is something, like a perfume or a hairspray, soap, deoderant etc...that he is allergic too and it so irritates him that he is afraid to get around you???? Ever heard of that before? I had heard of it with food allergies before ~ the child will scream when they SEE that food!
Just a thought, but it might be worth looking into. I can imagine no other reason for such behavior.
Best of luck ~ you are in my prayers with this one.
Deborah
J.,
Have you recently changed your perfume? If so, maybe his is sensative to it. If not, I have to agree with other mom's that maybe it's because he is at home with you all day and knows what he can get away with and not with other people. Good luck!
T.
