15 Year Old and School

R., i'm in the same boat you are in right now. My son (17 in march) only goes to school to socialize. A former honor roll student has gone to making 4 F's the last report card. It all started in middle school - i know he is not on drugs because he has been grounded for the last 5 years it seems like! lol He has lost all electronic items in his bedroom including the telephone. If he wants to watch TV he does it in the living room with the family. I don't know what's wrong with him! He gets up in the morning like he's excited for school - and goes to school only to play all day! I don't even know why he goes. We are to the point (due to his advanced age) where if his next report card is failing we're going to make him drop out of public school and do courses online where we can supervise him. And he will have to work to pay for the courses. We feel as if he is wasting his time AND the teachers time by going to school just to socialize and be Mr. Ladies Man. btw we have been threatening to do this all year with no improvement on his part so he obviously doesn't care.

You would think that with not being able to drive with bad grades this would make them want to do good in school .....He has a truck sitting in the drive way dry rotting! IF that isn't a reason to do well i feel nothing will work! You can lead a horse to water but you can't force them to drink~

LMK what you come up with!

I have 13 yr old twins in middle school and can already see one of them on the same path... what is it with middle school?

Good luck!

Hi R.,

Sometimes when a student blames the teacher, the school or the work, it's because they don't understand something and they don't want to feel like they are the only ones who don't understand. Teachers have so much more to do today than a few years ago and sometimes, students don't get it the way the teacher presents it. Sometimes, if you present it in a different way, they get it. Also, it's not "cool" to be smart. For some reason today's young people think they don't have to do anything and the world is going to support them. My kids are little, but I have teen-aged nieces and nephews. My sister made my niece try to support herself for a semester before she started college -- It was a real eye opener.

You might even ask your son how he plans to support himself and then have him work up a budget.

Good luck!!

Did you ever consider he might be telling the truth? You're using adult logic with a 15 year old. That's not gonna work. He needs to feel accepted. Highschool is cruel and the teachers are bullies sometimes. This is something he needs to learn to handle. When he complains about a teacher have him play out the scenario for you and give him advice on how to handle it. He probably feels lost and hopeless and his self worth is hazed. If he doesn't learn to deal with these issues now he'll feel like the world is against him. Once he's 18 you'll probably lose any grounds to help develope himself. I wish when I was 15 my mom tought me to defend myself against so called authority figures.

I have a 14 yr old daughter who goes through the same thing, blaming everyone else for her own mistakes. I believe too that school is their main priority, therefore if the grades aren't there then the cell phone goes, t.v, mall trips, etc are gone. This works for me. She hates not being able to do things she wants to do, so she works harder to get them back once they are taken away. What displinary measures have you taken? If he hasn't gotten his license yet than you can use that as a tool for him to get crackin' in school. Good Luck!

What are his interests? I had a friend with this problem and her son was in band. She took him to a few college football games so he could see how much fun band is and college can be and it really helped change him around.

Maybe you could tour a college and talk to some students. Or, talk to people is some cool professions that he might want to do and see if they can help influence. Sometimes (sadly enough) a stranger can have a much bigger impact than a parent.

my mom is having the same issues with my brother and we have come to the conclusion that most of every one we know that age is the same! and not much seems to work however you could start taking luxeries away, privaledges, allowences and that stuff then give them back one by one with attitude improvement or good grades my brother ended up with only a bed, pillow and blanket, one pair of shoes and 2 complete outfits and it worked when he was 15 now that hes 17 he has apart time job it doesnt work cause he buys his own things but hope it helps

R. - my son is now almost 18 and we have been going through the same thing for years - you aren't alone! I tried everything to motivate him - rewarding, punishing, everything we could think of, but nothing worked! He is also a good student, but I don't think I've seen the kid crack a book ever! I really honestly think he became bored with what was being taught. Wanted to know when he was ever going to use half the stuff they taught in school in real life - and I have to admit... I'm with him on some of it! He has since signed up for the Army and will be leaving in July for basic training - he is actually more focused and complains less now than ever before.
I don't think you are too serious or they are oblivious to things in the real world, they just haven't had the experiences we have. I'm sure things will turn around for you and your son - and I wish I had advice to give you - but I can just tell you where I've been - and what we are going through now - hopefully your son will turn around and find something he loves and will become motivated as well! I'll be praying for you in the mean time!