16 Month Old Doesn't Play with Toys/independently

Updated on May 17, 2007
S.P. asks from Grand Rapids, MI
12 answers

I was just wondering if those of you with toddlers can tell me if it sounds normal that my 16 month old doesn't really play with toys. I have an entire corner of our family room filled with toys, but he only plays with things he finds around the house and/or follows me and tries to "help" me with the dishes, cleaning up, etc.

Should a child this age be playing independently more? Any ideas would be appreciated.

S.

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M.J.

answers from Chicago on

My toddler does the same thing, but it seems when we go to other people's houses with toys, he'll play with those. Something I found that helps, I split in toys in 1/4. 1/4 in the living room, 1/4 in his bedroom, 1/4 to grandmas and the rest in the closet. I rotate them every once in a while so he always finds new stuff to play with. Maybe that could help. Oh, I also hide toys in little places, shelves, cabinets he's allowed in, under the table etc. so when he's roaming around he'll find a toy in an unexpected place and play with it. Just some thoughts.

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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

Do you play with the toys with him???

Too many toys???

We had way too many toys. Our boys were on overload. How could they pick something when there was something else interesting in front of them???

When our son's were about your lil guy's age, we ended up putting most of the toys away and giving them one or two at a time, and "showing" them how the toys worked. I think some toys seem more interesting when mom and dad play with them.

If he is trying to help you, let him. Or give him something his size that is similiar. We have a play washer and dryer that is made by Little Tykes. We got it on e-bay. Both boys were doing laundry with me since they were a little over 1. They also have their own kitchen.

Good luck!!!

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

Take away half the toys only leave a small amount out to be played with, It could be just to many and it is overwhelming.
Or they are just not the right kind of toys for the childs personality My friends son would play with two cars and that was it, One of my sons if it didn't make noise he would not touch it, the other son loved boxes and old fashion toys and books. You might have to just look at it from a whole new direction. At one point I finally had to get a play kitchen and put it in the kitchen so whenever I was in there that is what kept them busy. Try thinking outside the box or should I say toybox.

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M.V.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,
Yes, it sounds very normal! At that age, children just love to imitate what you do and copy your behavior. Many moms sigh in frustration that they have all these (expensive) toys lying around and all the child wants to play with is the pots and pans in the kitchen and the empty shampoo bottle in the tub! What it means is that your tod is trying to make sense of his world: he's exploring. Encourage him and try to engage him in the daily activities by explaining to him what you're doing. You'll be amazed as to how much he'll pick up and see him do that same behavior some days or weeks later!
PS: this also goes for "bad" behavior! ;-)

Hope this helps and have fun with your tod!
M.

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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,

My son is 28 months old and was very similar to what you describe, particularly at that age. He has always been more interested in phones, remote controls, taking dish towels and "cleaning" and anything that seems real as opposed to a toy. Also, if given a choice he would rather play with me or a any caregiver than the most interesting toy. Since he turned 2 he has gradually become more interested in toys and independent play. I found that I needed to work harder to find things he is interested in - he loves playing CDs on the CD player; he likes puzzles and blocks alot. I also found that I needed to gradually distance myself more so that he would play independently...he objected of course initially, but I tried not to cave in. I coupled that with making sure that I first devoted some very focused quality time with him, prior to separating.

Hang in there - it may just mean he is smart, likes people,and is interested in you and what you are doing!

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S.

answers from Chicago on

my son is 2 and does the same thing. He would rather help me out around the house than play with toys. His idea of toys are playing in the kitchen with the measuring cups and spoons. Might be because his dad is a chef. I wish he would play with toys because his idea of help always creates more work and usually a mess but his heart is in the right place.
before you know it your son will be playing video games and you will wish he would follow you around and try to help you out again.
Enjoy him

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

I have 3 kids. You can have a truck filled with toys and one kids would rather play in the dirt or a with a rock. They like to see what everyone else is doing. My 2 year old loves to do the dishes and vacuum.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

S.,

I think the independent play is something that will come gradually and in time. Our 23M old is just getting to the point where there are times he would prefer to play alone. This weekend we had friends over with a bunch of kids. Everyone was outside playing in the yard and Jacob (our son) decided to come in and plop himself down to "read" a book.

Still, most of the time, he prefers to have Mom or Dad sit with him to play. Even then, his attention span on one specific toy is so short and before we know it, he's reaching into the toy box for a new toy to share with us.

If your son enjoys spending the time with you, playing while you do chores maybe you can bring some of his toys into the kitchen and give him a cabinet that he can get into and play with his things and some tupperware, old pots and pans..etc. I've noticed that Jacob is big on wanting to mimic everything that we do. I'm sure your little guy is the same way.

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L.G.

answers from Chicago on

My son is 14 months old and has a TON of toys but prefers to play with the telephone, remote control, diapers, wipes, and empty boxes. I think it's normal. After all, everything is new to them. They don't know that the telephone isn't a toy, they just see mommy and daddy holding it to their ear and talking and smiling so they want to do that too.

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H.D.

answers from San Francisco on

This is very normal. =) My mom (who had 7 children of her own) always told me that it was a waste to buy toys, give a kid pots/pans and a wooden spoon and they will be happier than with a room full of toys. You are that child's universe, of course they are more interested in what you are doing than toys that won't give them a hug or a smile! Let your lil helper help, give them the plastic tubs to put in a drawer, or the silverware. My daughter has been helping me empty the dishwasher since she was about that age. I give her a rag with a minimal squirt of dust spray and let her "dust".
Target has a wonderful line of real looking dishes, brooms, etc. Give her her own to help while you use yours.
This is a great bonding experience and teachs your child responsibily and clean habits for living. Enjoy it! Believe me, soon enough they will be whining about having to pick up their own dirty socks. :P

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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

My 21 month old peanut is the same way. Tons of toys in her toybox, but if we are around (especially mama) it's following mama around the house instead. Upstairs, downstairs, even when I open the fridge, she is there between me and the fridge in two seconds, poking her head in and watchign what I am doing. It's cute the same time, but sometimes frustrating when I want to do some housework and she tries to 'help' by creating more work for me! But like the other said, her heart (and your son's) is in the right place, and this is a very typical toddler behavior.

Toddlers want to imitate adults and they thrive on human interaction. They are so inquistive and curious about everything. It's a very healthy sign. If he only wanted to play with his toys and not interact at all (or minimally) with people, that would not be a good sign at all (autism spectrum, etc).

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E.B.

answers from Washington DC on

When I'm cooking or doing dishes, my 19 month old would much prefer to dig in the kitchen tupperware cabinet than play with toys. She LOVES jumping and playing in the laundry pile. I just try to have "safe" cabinets for her to dig in. Since she is my second child (big sister is 3), she will play independently with toys...but I think it's only b/c she has seen her sister do it.
So don't worry, he's normal. I know the "help" is annoying at times, but he'll outgrow it soon and ignore you while he watches Sponge Bob :( LOL

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