16 Year Old Wanting to Switch High Schools

Why don't you two want her to switch schools? If she's not doing well and all of her friends are somewhere else, then why not? I think the idea to have her make a pro/con list and present her reasons clearly to you is a good one. If this is just about the boy of the month or something -no -she shouldn't switch, but if she's truly unhappy, then she needs to do something -take it from a formerly miserable 16 year old.

As far as I know once they reach 16 they can legally drop out. They are truant anymore if they don't attend. So many kids can graduate early that imposing an age limit on someone 17 or 18 just isn't logical.

Is there any logical reason for not changing her? If she has thought it out and really wants to change what damage could it possible do? Does the other school have good testing scores? Better ones?

I don't know how it would effect her directly to change or not change her education. Only you and her father can decide what it boils down to.

I suggest calling the school administrator tomorrow and ask them if it is even possible to allow her to transfer.

Have her sit down and make a list of Pros and Cons, then you and dad do the same thing. Compare them.. Talk about transportation, any costs, events, etc..

SHE is the one that has to attend. If she can prove she will make better grades, I do not get what the problem is?

Our daughter applied and chose her own college at 17, so that is only a year older than your daughter, just wanting to switch high school. I would consider it if our daughter had a good case for it.

Humor her with questions.
Is there a cost involved?
Is there transportation issues involved?
Would she have to drive?
Is her boyfriend at the other high school?
If she drops out can you emancipate her and let her be on her own. In other words, get a job, a car ,insurance and another school, oh and a place to live.

Start asking questions and start gathering real information from the schools.

Sometimes teens don't think about real consequences.
OK so you want to go to the new high school. How do you intend to get there and no you may not drive. Or no you may not use my car, or no I will not pay for it.
If you think you will buy a car for this who do you think will buy that and pay insurance?
Let her see the impracticalities. If there really are none and she may do better next year why not let her switch?

If her grades are only mediocre, do you and does she honestly expect that they will improve when she is at a school with all of her friends? I have a 16 year old daughter too. Our district has only one high school, she has no choice. If your district has more than one school, which school offers her the best classes, best faculty, best programs, best preparation for college? Friends can always be seen after school and on the weekends, that's what movie theaters and coffee houses are for. Whether she can switch schools without your permission, I do not know. Can she take the bus to her new school or would she be dependent upon you to drive her? Make it clear that if she opts to drop out of school, she is expected to go to work and support herself. If she wants to make adult decisions before and adult age, adult responsibilities come along with that. If she can get a better education at the other school, I'd consider it but if she's only going there for the social aspect, her mediocre grades are likely to plummet, not improve. If she expects to go to college, make sure that she knows what GPA's and SAT/ACT scores colleges are looking for !

Have her write you an essay and present her case to the "court". If she covers all her bases and answers all your questions, I think you'll be able to get a really good discussion out of her but in a more "teenage" fun way. GL!

I would phone the school board and the high schools tomorrow. Just ask what the policy is. It might even be on the website.
Have you moved recently? How are all her friends at the other school?
How would she get there? Would there be tuition? You have to consider all these things, but I understand where you are all coming from.

I thought your residence determined what school a child was assigned to. Does she have some other address she is planning on living at, to qualify her to make the switch?

There is probably something more going on. She may be miserable from the way other kids at this school are treating her. If she is being treated as an outcast (we know teenagers can be mean!) she may not be comfortable putting it into words for you. Maybe she made a poor choice and everyone at school knows about it. She might be looking for a less hostile environment. Entertain the idea more and see if she will talk more about it. She obviously feels strongly to challenge you this much.

As long as the logistics of it aren't an issue, and she doesn't lose credits along the way, why not consider it? A pros and cons list is an excellent idea. Have her present a mature case to you. Threatening to drop out and re-enroll is not mature, and a stunt like that could negatively effect her overall record. We have a TON of school choice in our area, so middle and high school kids are very aware of many other schools their friends and neighbors attend. Just make sure she knows the grass isn't always greener, and she should consider the risk of trading one set of problems for another possible set of issues.

I would only agree to consider it if you and she have some sessions with the guidance counselor, and talks with every single one of her teachers. She should have to accept the responsibility for her poor grades in front of her teachers. And she should have to pull her grades up to a certain level by the end of first semester for you to be willing to do it.

Go in and talk to the principal. Ask if she really CAN drop out and then go to the other school. The school should be able to tell you this.

M., you don't have long before she graduates. I hope you will have the courage to tell her that if she is not college bound, she has to move out on her own as soon as high school is over, and make her own way in the world. If you don't, she will mooch off of you and treat you as if you are her maid and bank account. She's already giving you ultimatums. You need to be ready to have your own.

Good luck,
Dawn

Just be glad she's not dropping out...let her switch. Then keep your fingers crossed for graduation...cause if she is threatening to switch without your permission...she maybe tetter toddering on dropping out anyway. You see...defiance goes hand in hand with dropouts. Good luck...those last two years may become a push on your part.

for MO, emancipation is at 17. Check with her school counselor & get the school's help....

Just some food for thought. I was advanced academically until I was around the same age. My friends & social life became my priority. I once even dropped an advanced Spanish class so that I could take the regular Spanish class (which I had already mastered) and be with my friends.

So, to me, it sounds like normal teenage angst, which most likely won't be cured by going to another school. I'd think she'd be more distracted from the school work if she is around her friends all day.

I don't know your daughter, though, so she may have some valid points.

I would check with your school district (call the BOE) as to their policies regarding dropping out. In our school district, you do not have the choice of which high school to attend.

Switching high schools is going to do nothing to improve her grades. Who cares where her friends are, there's no guarentee that if she did switch schools she would be in the same classes with her friends.

Call her bluff. Give her a specific goal if your grades improve and you have a 3.0 gpa by xxx, we will allow you to switch. Don't allow her to walk all over you.

1.Challenge her to research her claims. I disagree. She is not legally of age to make any kind of lifechanging decisions.
2.So have her go ask her HS counsellor.
3.Is she really showing an effort to improve her grades or is this a ploy to work in her favor? I.e., is she showing no effort to support her theory that where her friends are her grades will improve?
4.Ask her how she would GET to the other school. If she rides a bus, she'd have to somehow get to where the other school's buses go to pick her up. They aren't going to go clear out of their way just for her. Since you don;t favor the idea, and being in authority, you're under no obligation to transport her there.
5. Ask for proof the other school is superior for her scholastic needs.
I could understand if she were a special student where advanced classes would benefit her. You go where the advanced classes are offered. If her current school isn't challenging enough, that is.

And be prepared for that juvenile blackmail: If you don't let me go I'll just quit school altogether. Hard as it may be, I would even go so far as to answer "Well you know best, sweetie!" If she's so knowledgable about the schools and that she could drop out and do what she wants, then she also will think she knows best. Don't worry; she'll find out the hard way that she doesn't. If she can't get to a job instead of school, life will become pretty dull. She won't even have the non friends at the current school!