16 Year Old Wants Tanning Membership

It isn't a stigma against skin cancer...it is a real, science-based risk of melanoma, which is deadly. So, no tanning booth....Just tell her it will give her wrinkles too if that helps convince her.

sorry - fake baking doesn't work for me.

the damage it does is beyond scary!!! I would NOT subject my teenager to that!!!

I would have her do the research on fake baking/tanning and then let her make a decision if she wants to do that to her body...

No. My kids don't fake bake.

Nope. no way. I too used to tan when I was younger, but I would never let my daughter (or son) get a tanning membership.... if they wanted to as an adult at age 18... then it was there business.

Stigma? By stigma, do you mean documented, proven, and elevated risk? That's what tanning beds are. A scientifically proven elevated risk of getting skin cancer. We're talking genuine health risks here, not stigmas!

You do realize, that you don't have to consider her requests, simply because she asks? First the belly button piercing, and now this. You do NOT have to think about everything she asks of you. NO, can be an answer. No needs to be the answer. You are the mother, you don't have to ponder her wishes all the time. Why would you even consider allowing her to tan? Just say NO, it's your job to protect her...for goodness sakes!!

ETA: Not sure why you pegged me, when the majority said the same as I. I think you misunderstood, I'm not in a state which needs calming.

No way. I have an almost 18 he old and shell do the spray tan for competitions, etc but will not enter a tanning bed.

A girl on her cheer squad in 10th grade regularly tanned at a salon with Mom's permission because that's required here and my daughter witnessed the huge scar this girl now has on her arm from surgery to remove cancer at 15 yrs old. The mom is very regretful and the girl is scared s..tless for her future.

Another reason... Why do you want to look like a piece of leather at 25-30 yrs old? How bad will that look at 50?? Ugh

Yes there is a stigma against cancer now.
Most people don't want cancer, and don't encourage their kids to be exposed to things that cause it.
It's kinda like cigarettes. My mom smoked, I smoked a little, but I sure won't be buying my kids a three month supply of smokes (or UV rays) just because they want it.
Let them grow up and spend their own money hurting themselves if that's what makes them happy :(

Many states are passing laws which say you must be 18 or older to use a tanning salon.
The cancer risk is horrible.
Kids don't have the judgement to weigh the risks.
15 min of sunlight exposure is all anyone needs to produce adequate vitamin D.
No one needs to spend hours in the sun and sun screen and cover up clothing should be used when people will be out for long periods of time.
My husband and son tan easily with very little sun exposure (they don't work at it) but our son has never had a sunburn.
Additional:
Get her a poster of that uber tanned tan-ahoilc New Jersey Mom that was in the news a little while ago.
She looks like a fine Corinthian leather couch.
If THAT doesn't put people off tanning - I don't know what will!

http://faildaily.blogspot.com/2012/05/new-jersey-mom-deni...

Skin cancer is not a stigma. Please do not encourage your child to tan by buying or condoning a tanning membership. At 16 she thinks that nothing bad will ever happen to her, including skin cancer. It's up to you to educate her about the dangers of tanning, which are much higher than the dangers of the sun.
I vote absolutely no.

It's not a stigma against skin cancer. It's a reality that tanning does cause skin cancer. Not for everyone but do you want to take the risk?

23 years ago did you know about skin cancer and it's relationship to tanning? I suggest you expected your mother to tell you not to do it if it was dangerous. You may have rebelled and she gave in? Whatever, you are so far lucky in that you don't have skin cancer. That does not mean that you will never have skin cancer, tho slathering on SPF now will probably prevent it. Why do you use SPF and not expect your daughter to use it?

I suggest that as her mother it is your responsibility to protect her. Would you let her drink alcohol? How about experimenting with drugs? I put tanning into the same category. All of them can be done without serious consequences. But why take the chance that something serious will happen?

I had difficulty letting go of the idea of a tanned skin when I was in my 30's but I did stop tanning. I'm in my 70's now and am so glad I did. My friends who continued to tan now have the most wrinkled and old looking skin. I'm still mistaken for a younger woman. I've rarely used SPF on my arms and they are wrinkled.

There is the health argument against tanning and their is the beauty argument against it.

I'm in my late 30s, and one of my friends that used to tan often in high school just had to have surgery to remove skin cancer from her back. She had to have 3 cancerous moles removed. Not only was that experience scary for her, her husband and her kids, but she now has 3 scars on her back.

Tanning is NOT worth it, and I'm sure she would agree! They are waiting to hear if they got it all, and to make sure it didn't spread.

Teenagers just don't think of the future. It's your job to think for them.

I would never let my kids go to a tanning bed. Those are so dangerous. If she wanted to do the spray tan, I would have no problem at all with that. I grew up in southern CA. I baked in the sun and soaked in oil every chance I could up until only about 5 years ago (and I'm 32). I have now had to have 2 abnormal spots removed and 1 that is currently growing back. If I had spent ANY time in a tanning bed (I have never) I would be a lot more worse off than just having 2 abnormal spots removed. Is there anyway you can show her some research so she will maybe change her mind?

http://voices.yahoo.com/mayo-clinic-finds-skin-cancer-you...

Go here for a frightening study from the Mayo Clinic.

Skin cancer is dramatically higher for young women directly because of increased use of tanning beds. It's not a sort-of connection; it's a direct cause.

Please read it yourself first because the idea that even at 18 you'd be OK with her making that choice for herself -- well, she'll be technically an adult but I hope that by then you both will be better informed.

The study also finds that young people believe that tanning beds must be OK because the government doesn't shut them down. They also believe that unless you get burned, you're going to be fine. I would also bet that your daughter may think: "It's OK, even if you get cancer I heard they just cut off the spot and you're fine." Or she thinks, "All my girlfriends are doing this and I'll be so pale." Or "It's just a little maintenance tanning, I won't overdo it." Or, "My friend's mom does it and she doesn't have skin like leather."

She's thinking like a 16-year-old. She can't see how statistics or studies could possibly ever apply to HER. But they do. Be the adult here and forbid it, but at the same time educate her. Since a study won't influence her as much as it should influence you, I'd take her to a dermatologist (or her regular doctor) and have the doctor describe how melanoma kills you. Be sure the doctor shows her graphic photos of skin that is cancerous. Find some images yourself online if you can stomach them. She may need a tough wake-up like that if she is really determined to tan or if her friends already tan.

ADDED: Someone actually posted above here, "if she doesn't burn it will probably be OK." This is a total and dangerous myth. Please don't buy it. Please read the Mayo study and look for real, MEDICAL advice on this, and don't listen to the stuff about how you have to burn to get skin damage because it is false. Someone else posted the guff that the tanning industry has been pushing -- the notion that tanning is a great way to increase your Vitamin D production. Medically, you get enough sun exposure in your regular day to day living (with no added tanning, on a bed or under the sun) to have enough Vitamin D. The tanning industry, trying to sound like it's medically beneficial, has been pushing the idea that tanning will be healthy because it increases D. Years ago, the cigarette industry pushed the idea that cigarettes were healthy too. And look at how that's turned out...Please get off here and get advice from doctors.

I have young boys, so no they don't tan.

I work for a plastic surgeon who removes skin cancers all the time. A surprising number are on people who are in their twenties and thirties. Don't buy your child a tanning membership, please, and teach her why it is so dangerous to tan. It just isn't worth it.

In my opinion it would be the same as a
Purchasing and allowing your child to smoke cigarettes. Would you do that? Please don't do it.

I would not allow my child to go and tan. Sit out in the sun on a nice day with sunblock, sure, but not just tan for the sake of tanning. I watched my uncle battle with melanoma and nearly die in the process; he was a walking skeleton at one point. It was grueling and terrible. My mother never put sunblock on me when I was little and I have all sorts of moles popping up. It's a delayed response--from over 40 years ago--but a profound one. Kids can't understand the consequences of tanning because they are rarely immediate (TF Plano's story being an exception)--most kids don't see their peers dealing with it. WE have to say no.

I WOULD NEVER PAY FOR THIS FOR MY KID! Yes, I meant to use all caps.

I would show her pictures of melanoma and skin cancer, find the worst ones you can on the internet. Then tell her that is why you will not buy it for her. If she works and buys it for herself, after seeing what can happen, then that is up to her, but I would never drive her there or help her in any way with this.

Sun lovers and tanners feel to crucify me for my opinion. Don't care. I would never put my child in such danger.

I am responding after your SWH - but would like to share my story.
I never tried tanning beds, I mostly stayed out of the sun, my family has no history of skin cancer.
I have had 3 malignant melanomas removed. I am almost up to 5 years since the last one was removed - and I am only 34.

No one wants to believe it can happen to them. Especially when they are 16, or the moms of 16 year olds. :) For most people, it probably will not happen... That said, do you really want to run the risk?

I now have kids, and the mental worry (not all the time, but sometimes) that I might not be around to see them grow up is real.
(I am currently without any 'spots' and they have always been "only on my skin" - but my recurrence risks are sky high, and I have the worry that I might miss one when it is 'only skin deep' - and it will get me.)

You don't want this. Take precautions against known causes. You cannot control everything, but take care with the things you can.

I used to love going to the tanning bed when I was a teen. I swore it was the best way to clear up blemishes, but that was the eighties and we know so much more now. I wouldn't go near a tanning bed these days. I wouldn't allow my son or daughter to go if they asked. I would encourage them to use a self-tanner or get the occasional spray tan, but I wonder about the chemicals in that too.
A friend of mine is a physician assistant in a dermatologist's office and she told me a sad story one day about a young twenty something that grew up on the beach in California. She was newly married and newly pregnant. They just found malignant skin cancer on her body. They were waiting to find out what she would have to do next and how it would affect her life or the life of her unborn child. So even though your daughter isn't at that point in her life, she does have to think of the ramifications involved in her future. I wouldn't allow it. It's just not safe.
Good luck with your decision!
A.

Would you want your 16 year old to chew tobacco? Of course not, it causes cancer!
Would you want your 16 year old to smoke cigarettes? Of course not, it causes cancer!
Would you want your 16 year old to have unprotected sex? Of course not, she could get pregnant or get an STD!
Would you want your child to be at a higher risk for skin cancer? of course not! Then I would suggest no tanning.
Besides, you guys live in TEXAS! It's crazy hot and sunny there! I am sure she can get a "real" tan just being outside.
L.

Some states have the 18 age limit for tanning. I wouldn't do it. Skin cancer is not worth the risk. Maybe take her to a dermatologist to ask about the risks. I'm sure they have some interesting photos and statistics.

No way! Teach her why it is dangerous. Skin cancer is not a joke. I would never condone my child doing something that has been proven to cause cancer! A fake tanning booth tan is much more dangerous than a natural tan too. No way!

My uncle just passed away from skin cancer. There is no way I would let my child go tanning. My kids will have to wait until they are 18 if they choose to go tanning. Hopefully, by that time they won't feel the need to do it anymore. All I can do is educate them about the dangers and then pray that they will make the right choice.

Not needed. Too young

Yikes no..I have seen girls get obsessed with it..It just looks terrible.

Nope. I would never let my 16 yr old daughter go tanning. Don't want her to get skin cancer, and I don't want her to look 50 when she's 25. This is a no-brainer to me.

I LOVE a Sun tan, tanning salon, sun bed, stand up, ... Do it year round... But as a parent I would have to tell my kids no. Let them be responsible for there decisions ( skin cancer )when they are 18.. I would feel bad if they got it and I let them get it! You know!

I would tell her no way. I have a very dear friend with stage 4 melanoma. He is not expected to make it to his 41st birthday.

If she were my child, I'd say spray tan or NO tan.

Tanning is SO unhealthy and bad for your skin. My mother used to go tanning and now she's 49...with AGE SPOTS on her face. My great grandmother always insisted on hats and lotion...and she had a lovely complexion well into her 80's.

Please teach your daughter to take care of her skin.

i wouldnt get her a member ship.. would she be happy with just going a few times? could u allow her to do that?.. so many of my friends around that age got waaayy into tanning.. it became almost like an addiction, like they HAD to go tanning, some of them way over did it and looked rediculous.. the only times i really kept up with tanning were before the proms i went to .. i would go a few times in the weeks leading up to it and that was it

I will never be ok with my children tanning. I don't tan and I want to keep my kids from developing skin cancer. I think it is important for kids to be in love with who they are---just as they are. At 16, I believe you still don't have the emotional maturity to be able to see what is good for your future, your health etc. You still need guidance- I would do everything in my power to deter your child from tanning.

My husband's cousin's wife had started tanning (at the beach & at the salon) when she was a teenager & continued into her adulthood. I remember her always having a 'beautiful' tan. She died of malignant melanoma (skin cancer) several years ago. Need I say more? This story is becoming more & more common, unfortunately. Forget the stigma....There is real danger to one's health in tanning. A tan is a sign of damage to the skin. I slather spf 50+ on my daughter & myself any time we are outside. Does my child tan? Will she ever tan? No way!

I don't think it has anything to do with stigma or even maturity. It's bad for you, period.

No way would I buy my 16 year old a tanning membership. In addition to being unhealthy, it is a waste of money and seems ridiculously vain, especially at that age.

If my 16 year old wanted a tanning membership, she would have to get a job and pay for it herself. Then money sure wouldn't come from me, but you don't say if she's asking you for the money or not.

My suggestion would be to have her watch the you tube video called Dear-16-year-old-me. It's very enlightening!

If she doesn't change her mind, then just tell her no!

This is a hard one for me. When I was a teenager I had horrible skin and tanning cleared it up.
It actually still does.
Also, if its done correctly and slowly, it could give you a good base tan, that would prevent you from burning in the sun.
Im not sure if I would let my child do it. I know that a real tan looks better than a spray tan.
I dont know, go with your own judgement. Like I said, if you do it carefully and she doesnt burn, it will probably be ok.
No, its not the same as a nicotine addiction.

Geez people....

I just had two close people in my life die of Melanoma. Its a fast cancer and its very very painful. One of our friends was just buried last Wednesday. A little mole that looked fine killed our friend. He was in the sun all the time golfing in short sleeve polos. No sun screen. My BIL's dad who was an awesome person died of the same thing two years ago.
My daughter also loves to tan. No matter how I explain the dangers she does not listen. She is 25 years old. All you can do is explain how really bad this is for her skin, show her photos of Melanoma and how it kills so many. As for now you can say no way to her because she is underage. Hopefully she will listen to you. Good luck!

Up here? You betcha!!!

Tanning is one of the better ways to avoid SAD (seasonal affective disorder ... which can/does lead to a large number of suicides), and also helps with vitD production.. which is huge in preventing cancer (amongst many other things VitD does).

With over 300 overcast days per year... Seattlites have some of the worse bone density, and some of the highest rates of SAD (and other forms of depression) in the country.

((We also have bilboards everywhere asking if MS is in the water/air/etc. We -Northwest- have more MS instances than anywhere. We have no idea why, but the sheer lack of sunlight is one theory... since the PNW has less sunlight than anywhere else in the country. Including northern alaska where it's nighttime 6mo a year.))

The more expensive beds tan darker in less time (6-7 minutes), with fewer harmful rays than the lower end / old style of bed. Although the older style of bed is more effective in drumming up the vitD production, even in the same time frame.

Ewww! No!! You live in Texas...isn't there enough sun?

My child is a boy, who is a tween...so...no he doesn't.
Considering what we know about tanning, I wouldn't allow it.
Get her some self tanner instead!

My cousin owns a tanning salon and the last time we talked about it the were trying to pass a law that said a person has to be 18 to tan. not sure if that went through or not...
If it were me I would not let my child do it. I would let them do a spray tan at a reputable place that does good work, if it was for a dressy occasion.

I would tell her no and discuss alternatives. Tanning regularly can lead to problems like actually being addicted to tanning, as well as skin cancer. There was a summer that my SD was so dark (she was 8 or 9) that her pediatrician even commented on it as a concern. I would talk to her and convey your concerns and why you aren't getting her a membership. Tanning does long term damage. It's just not worth it when there are other ways to glow. Maybe if you find out the WHY you can find a compromise she likes.

Skin cancer still kills. It killed our friend's first wife. And when my friend was only 30, she had a precancerous condition removed from her side. She'd been a lifeguard and swimmer most of her teens and even though she slathers on the sunscreen now, it caught up with her. Even "just" surgery is a scary thing.

If she wants to avoid SAD, you can get her a small desk lamp called a Sun Box.

If a prom were coming up, I would probably allow a couple of sessions. As for the belly button ring question, although I didn't see it, I have a 16 year old and would let her get one if she asked. Not younger than 16 though for either of these.