16 Yr Old Girl Driving

I'd would definately let her get her drivers license but you can put restrictions on how much she drives and to where. I know it is hard to not be too over protective, I'm super protective myself. However, you only have two more years till she is off on her own so allowing her some freedom and more respnosiblity is a good thing. As you said she is responsible, so try and trust her and let go just a bit :)

The first year they start driving is a nightmare. I called and texted my daughter constantly, which annoyed her, to say the least. I also got ATT Family Map, which locates them if you have ATT. It only sort of locates them, but it does provide some relief.

I had the same worries about strangers with my daughter, which of course she brushed off, but one thing I tell her is to lock the car doors at night (your daughter won't be driving at night right away, I'm sure), and I've also told her that if anyone is trying to do something to her when she's alone with her car, lean on the horn.

I can relate. It's just a terrible phase you have to go through. I worry a lot less now, and can go for longer periods of time without hearing from her, but now I have to face events like long drives with girlfriends down to Southern California. I'm still debating that one.

There's no rule to how much you back off. Little by little you will just start becoming more comfortable. I can't wait till my daughter's 40 or 50, and hopefully by then I won't worry about her.

My friend... has a daughter like that. Well 2 actually because they are twins... they are very nice good responsible girls... but very very pretty and everyone looks at them. It is creepy. And, they are not the most street smart young girls. My friend gets scared too... because, once, a bunch of guys stopped on the street her daughter was walking on and offered her a ride and REALLY tried to get her daughter in the car. Her daughter just thought they were joking, being friendly. Um, yah.... right. Anyway, luckily nothing happened to her... if you know what I mean.

For her and her girls... they have strict rules... after-all, they are only 16. The human brain is not even fully developed until 26 years old.
Anyway, the girls can only use the car for driving themselves to and from lessons, for their brother, for doing errands. The girls are fine with that. And, they are taught, real life scenarios about what can happen.... and what to do if in trouble etc., get a blue-tooth speaker thing for the car so she can talk/use the phone without taking her hands off the steering wheel etc.,
Just prep, prep, prep your daughter for things... and perhaps even practice it with her... or send her to driving lessons/self-defense classes. Teach her how to always look for an exit/an escape in any place she is at... how to kick out the tail lights of a car trunk if she is ever in one etc. Any safety thing that can be practiced.

I will probably go nuts-o when my girl starts driving too.... Egad!

Anyway... start with rules. And your gut instinct. Gradually, perhaps per year.. she can earn further flexibility with car use and places she is allowed to drive to etc.

All the best,
Susan

S.,
My daughter is only 2, but I can already relate to how you feel. Keeping my daughter safe is my top priority.
I just heard today about a women's self-defense seminar that is being put on in Clackamas County. I believe it's for age 12 and up. There is a class tomorrow and another one on the 17th of April. It's only 3 hours and the money goes to support victim's of domestic violence in Clackamas County. I'm planning to take it myself on the 17th. I think it will be a really good class. There will be a number of Police and Sheriff's Deputies there. I work with them closely, and I bet they would be great when dealing with a teenage girl. The website is www.kravmagaportland.com (It's a martial arts studio).
Good luck.
K.

So much good advice here, I hardly have to add. But they do have computer programs to teach kids to drive safely before they ever hit the roads. Make sure she is learning on one of those and gets in plenty of hours. Remind her that her brain is not fully mellanized, or developed, until she turns 25, so she must beware of things teens are prone to, such as rash decisions while driving.

Another part of me wonders if she is not in tune with her surroundings; is that old man really creepy, or is he just enjoying this lovely creature and thinking she looks like his wife, or mother for instance? While there are a few scary people out there, for the most part people every day have left her alone, or you wouldn't be considering this.

The imax movie Everest comes to mind here. A group of people went up on the mountain and several died. Those that did return reported a feeling of dread before attempting the climb. "I just didn't feel right about it." Teach your daughter to pay attention to those feelings, and learn to discern them yourself.

I hear you. It is so hard to allow them to drive alone. To go places alone and to make sure they are aware of their surroundings. You will just have to trust her and let her know that you are not so worried about her as you are about the other people out there.

Make rules for the first few days, then weeks, then months until you and she feel more comfortable with her being out and about. Have her call you when she arrives at her destination and again when she is leaving to let you know where she will be going again. Let her know any rules about other people in her car.. etc.. Maybe get her a whistle or some pepper spray for her keys, so that when she is walking towards her car, she always has these in her hands. You could also look for some self defense classes for her and her friends to attend..

Remind her not to use her cell phone while driving EVER. She needs to pull over into a well lit business and then use her phone,,, That means you cannot expect her to pick up her phone and answer it the moment you call her if she is driving. We just had a family friend loose her husband because a teen was texting while driving. The teen by the way was also killed. (she also was not wearing a seat belt!)

This is a good time for you and her to have this opportunity, because when she goes to college, she may be driving really far to and from College.

Well...congrats on having a wonderful daughter ! I got my license when I was 16, and took myself too and from work and school. Perhaps she does notice the "creepy old man" but remember that almost all teens and children have the "it can't/won't happen to me" thought process. I think we all learn by experience, and although you want to protect her (which is wonderful) think of how good this strengthens your relationship that she feels your trust in her. None of us like to feel like we can't be trusted or we can't do something, especially at 16 when we knew everything ! :-) Definitely I think little by little give her some leniency, and I think slowly you will start to feel more at ease. Remember, you can't always protect her, and right now is a wonderful chance to start preparing her to become a responsible independent woman. Children know more than we think they do, just give her a chance to show you. :-) Good luck.

Setting the rules and all that is good.Make sure she knows these rules are non-negotable and can get stricter. Let her know they can get stricter.

After that, sit back. You say she 's intelligent, so trust her until she gives you reason not to. She hasn't had to take care of herself with you always there to do it. Once she gets out and about she will start being more attuned to her surroundings. When that creepy old man makes a remark, she will learn to watch him before he gets the chance.
There is (unfortunately) no substitute for experience. I know it's scary, but now you have to trust that you taught her right, and empower to live in the world.

Sounds like you have a great daughter and you have done a great job with her.

As hard as it is....we have to start letting go

I have an only 15 yr old daughter, in driver ed now. I do know that in TX there are limitations on the 16 yr old drivers. I hate the fact she will be driving soon.....what will I do...no more mom taxi!!

As for observant...mine is pretty observant. Very pretty girl, honors, cheerleader and not shy. She also is trained (over 6 yrs) in martial arts and has a black belt.

Just last week at the mall a man was making creepy eyes are her. As he got closer to us, all the while staring, and he was in hearing distance....she just blurted out "what a creeper" very loudly. People overheard her and looked at him. He was quite embarrassed.

We are protective but we have taught her many signs of the creepers, etc. Hopefully, if she is in a bad position, she will make the right choice. I know I have done my best.

Hang in there.....it is hard letting go.

Driver training is a great way to spend time with your daughter. You are not obligated to let her get her license as soon as she completes her 50 or 100 hours of practice time. Many kids need more supervised driving and you will also feel more comfortable with her solo driving if she has had the extra experience. Keep taking her out to practice, but let her know that she can take the driving exam when you feel she is ready, not when she has fulfilled the minimum requirement.

Here are some additional skills that she may need to learn before you are ready to let her drive alone: driving freeways, rush hour, at night, snow and ice, over the pass, long distance (does she know when to take a break?). Does she know how to pump her own gas, check oil, fluids and tire pressure? Does she know how much your insurance will go up to add her, and how much it will go up if she has an accident or gets a ticket? What about personal safety on the road, in a parking lot or a rest area, in case of an accident? I think it is reasonable for you to require that she learn how handle herself in these situations, as well as learning how to handle a car. It will give confidence to both you and her when she's out driving by herself.

Sounds like you did a great job stepanie! I was just like you when my daughter and older son got their license. I was the driver for so long it was hard for me to think they didnt need me as much and that I was not in total control of them. I eventually did ok with it, I just made sure I knew who, when and where they were. You can also get a tracker on the car and see whee they are on your computer, it even shows how fast they go. I know that is being a little overprotective but if it makes you feel better who cares what anyone else thinks. I would make sure she has a blue tooth so she does not get the urge to text while driving. They have voice activated phones so she will not have to dial if something goes wrong. I know its hard letting go but you can do it in bits. Good luck!

Calm yourself... if you're willing to drive, freaked out and overwhelmed drivers will always say yes to opting out of being to blame for whatever goes wrong!

Breathe all the way out. Don't just 'breathe'... breathe OUT! Empty your lungs so you have some way of re-filling them....

You don't need to back off as much as you need to settle yourself: if you parented really badly all along and feel really terrible about that, you're going to have a hard, hard time doing that. If you have parented in a way that you feel good about, you'll be much more relaxed, obviously...

Do you trust her? Or your parenting to date?