17 Month Old Struggles with Nap

Dear T.,
Neither of my kids napped, but they slept all night. It's possible your son may just not be tired enough to sleep. Let me tell you, I brought my first baby home and was expecting her to sleep all the time. WRONG! But, she did sleep all night so I was wondering how I got that lucky. My son came along 10 years later and I was sure I couldn't be that lucky twice with the night sleeping. Sure enough. He was just like his sister.
I never had a problem with laying my kids down for a bit during the day, starting from when they were infants.
I knew their patterns very well, so as they got older, I never said nap time, it was rest time. I never told them they had to sleep. They could roll around, talk or sing to themselves or a stuffed animal, but they had to be laying down and resting. No getting up or goofing off or they had to stay longer. My kids never fought it. If they fell asleep, cha-ching! That was a bonus. But if they just layed and rested, I was happy. If you need some time to jump in the shower or be in the garage doing laundry,
or paint your fingernails, try to get your child in the habit of quiet time as opposed to both of you getting upset if there is no actual sleep involved.
My son would about every 15 minutes or so call out, "Mommy" and I would keep doing what I was doing and call back "Baby". I guess he just wanted to know I could still hear him. We did it in a sing-song way. He is 13 years old and still does that sometimes. He'll be in a different room doing homework or watching a movie and just out of the blue call Mommy in that little way he has of saying it. And I still call back, "Baby". I guess that's our little way of checking in.
If your child is actually napping from 30-50 minutes, you are darn lucky. Especially considering that he sleeps all night. He's basically a year and a half old so I wouldn't bet his naptimes will get longer. Plus there is a brand new baby in the house. That's a lot of excitement!
You've got your hands full, but your little guy is doing pretty great.

Hang in there!

My advice for lengthening his nap has a few parts. The first is to try something that uses a lot of energy right before naptime. Perhaps take him to the park or play outdoors. The other part is that seems like a really long night of sleep. I have four close girlfriends all with children between 18 months and 3 years. They all say I am very lucky because my son sleeps 12 hours a night, most of theirs are closer to 10 or 11. If there is any way you can shorten that sleep time without effecting your happiness it's worth a try. My son also went through a phase around that age when his naps were short. It was just a phase and in time they became longer again. My son also occasionally wakes up mid-nap, about 45 minutes in. I often leave him there and he falls asleep again. The sign for me is how he wakes up, if he's talking he's had enough rest but if he's crying then he's not ready and I leave him there to go back to sleep. Hope some of that helps you.

Could he be teething? Maybe some teething drops every couple of hours may help. We give our daughter Gentle Naturals first thing when she wakes up, 2 hours after and right before she naps. He is getting ample of sleep at night and might find it hard to sleep a lot during the day. Try having him sleep from 7-7 if possible. Also try pushing the one nap a little earlier than normal? Let's say 30-45 minutes earlier? And also, he could be going through a growth spurt and wakes up hungry. Just make sure he eats enough before his nap and has a couple of wet diapers or pees in the potty if he's potty training. Don't have too many toys in the AM before he naps. It's okay to have it after his nap though. No TV either. Hope this helps!! Good luck!

the first thing I noticed when I read this was how early he goes to bed... my 2 now year old has never gone to bed earlier than 8pm (unless special occassions), and has always napped from 2-3 hours during the day. I know everyone is different, but maybe yours is just getting all the sleep he needs at night, with a later bedtime, maybe will nap more.
Good luck!

It sounds like your child may be having enough sleep for him. Each child is different so I hate the books that say that a child of X years old needs Y hours of sleep. My first child slept from 7:30 pm - 7:30 (to 8:00) am and only slept 30 minutes for one nap (at 6 months) after 30 minutes of crying. Drove me nuts! I feel for you! My second child is a lot more active, so at 20 months old she takes 1 nap for about 1.5 hours which is more average.

How about putting a couple of books or soft toys in your son's crib? He can look at them and hopefully extend the time before he either wakes up or wants you. As soon as your son goes down for his nap, get your rest, too. Maybe you feed your baby, put him (or her) for a nap, put your toddler down, and then rest? Sounds tricky, but I'm trying to think of the best way to get YOUR rest.

I have to agree with some of the comments - he's already sleeping a lot! My kids never slept that much. I can't imagine how nice it would be to have them sleep that much at night. So I'd go to bed earlier if I were you so you're less tired during the day or keep him up later at night/wake him earlier in the morning.

the only suggestion I have is perhaps trying a little later bedtime.

Hi T.,
What time is his bedtime and naptime? I have used Dr. Weissbluth's book as a sleep guide since the day my daughter (3 yrs old now) was born. She has been a great sleeper but it has taken MANY adjustments. Was he napping longer before or has it always been short? When my daughter was this age her sleep schedule was this: wake up between 6-7am, nap at around 11-11:30am (about 1 hour) and bedtime between 6-6:30pm. Of course all these times were adjustable depending on how well she slept and how she was acting. It sounds like he may be overtired, especially if his bedtime is too late. If you want to email me with your schedule and what you have tried so far, I will give you more advice based on what I've tried.
Sincerely,
L.

PS I have rarely had to let Paige cry it out as long as she is getting enough age appropriate sleep.

The only suggestion I haven't seen is trying to convince him.... and at 17 months of age, this will depend on his personality and willingness to cooperate... that even though he isn't sleeping, he needs to lie quietly for a certain amount of time... 1 1/2 to 2 hours is standard in daycares. He might have a book to 'read' if that's something that will help him be quiet, or maybe one or two soft toys that he tends to play with quietly.
Also, do you use quiet music when he naps? If not, that might help. It doesn't necessarily have to be children's naptime music, but something soft and gentle. For instance, at the moment I'm still enjoying the naptime music I played for my daycare kids this afternoon. It's a CD that I made up with music from Ballads of Madison County and the Bridges of Madison County soundtrack. It isn't even all that quiet, but tends to be mellow enough that the children can sleep through it, and I enjoy it for a change of pace too. It seems to have worked well for our children, because each of them slept a little longer than usual today.

If he's sleeping from 6:30 pm to 7:00 am it seems like a 45 minute nap is probably all he needs. I had 3 kids within 6 years and none of them slept as much as yours...I think you're lucky!
If you get tired during the day (as I'm sure you do with a newborn) take a nap with your kids. Not only does everyone get some rest, but it turns out to be very nice "cuddle" time. Good luck :)

Try a later bedtime. My 16 month old goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00pm. Then don't let him sleep past 7am.
Also, see if you can introduce quiet play time in the crib. When he wakes up he can stay in the crib and play with toys for another 30 minutes, buying you that needed break. Start by waiting 5 minutes until you go in and slowly extending that time. Leave some interesting, soft toys (I like the soft books) in the crib for him to look at when he wakes up. And make sure he goes to sleep with a full belly so he isn't hungry when he wakes up.

Good luck!