17M Old HATES Eating!!

Hi M.. I understand your frustration as I went through this with my first daughter. Her poor eating habits started at 9months with spitting her food out and not swallowing it. She was not even on a growth curve (less than 0%) and she was ill frequently. This went on until she was almost 2. I was at my wits end and we went through batteries of testing (allergies, celiac, reflux etc...) to see if anything was wrong with her. All tests came back normal. As she grows (she just turned 3), her eating habits are still poor but is significantly improved and she is now at the 15% for weight. What I have learned in the process is:

1. We gave our daughter vanilla Pediasure. It is pricey, but she refused to drink milk. We needed to get her the calories somehow. We did this for a year. We then started slowly mixing in milk with the pediasure until we are about half and half. By then she was almost 2 and we switched to Chocolate Carnation instant breakfast with milk and she decided she liked that.
2. Kids will eat if they are hungry- they won't starve themselves. Sometime she will go 3 days with hardly eating anything, but then she will have a couple days where she eats alot.
3. We decided to give her gummy vitamins when she brushes her teeth. This seems to have helped her health and make up for her poor eating habits.

So I guess my thoughts are that your son may slowly improve as he gets older. Unless you think something is medically wrong, I would just try and hang in there. Keep doing all the good things you are doing to encourage him. Merry Christmas.

You may want to follow up with a specialist, like a ped.GI. Some kids have issues like reflux, allergies, etc. and won't eat if it hurts to do so. You'll have lots of people tell you that your child will eat eventually and won't starve themselves. While this may be true for 95% of kids, there are kids who have serious digestive issues, or failure to thrive for whom this is not true. After struggling with my son's eating issues for a year, I took him to a GI and we walked out of her office with a nutrition plan. It has been a long road with special foods and feeding therapies, but now (at age 4) he's finally eating well and eating a variety of foods. Every kid is different, so remember that when people give you advice--lots of people will. If your gut tells you something is wrong, be his advocate and take him to different doctors, therapists, etc. until you get help.

Im sorry your having such a hard time. Here is what I would do if I were you. I would let him have his favorites and quite trying to give him a variety. I know that giving him healthy foods and mixing it up is the ideal way to go but when you got such a picky eater you arent left with much choice. If he wants ice cream, I would give him ice cream or what ever it is. I would try to give him some type of vitamin suppliment, or make a milk shake with pediasure. Hope I can help

Sort of sounds like my 17 mos old daughter. She only eats crunchy / grainy things like cheerios, crackers, etc. I still feed her babyfood (when she will actually eat it). Whenever she is having a hunger strike, I put baby rice cereal in her bottle. You can also try putting flax oil in the bottle, or flax with DHA (at health food store), a liquid infant multi-vitamin is good too. Someone told me that they will put baby food in their kids bottle too. And I feed mine a toddler formula b/c she refuses whole milk (or goats milk, etc), and the formula has extra nutrients. My ped said at this age, their growth tapers off so their appetite isn't as strong.

He could have allergies too. I went to a homeopathic MD in town who said mine was allergic to a few things (sweet potatoes, berries for instance). maybe that could be affecting your son too perhaps? Good Luck!

Hi M.,
Sorry you're having such trouble with your little one! I had one of those! My 3rd son, at 18 months old just quit eating anything good for him one day. The dr. said he was trying to test his power of control and not to let him win. The dr. and his wife had 6 kids (all older than my 4) and he said they had one rule: you have to have one bite of whatever the horrid food is for every year you are old. So if the child is one year old...he must have one bite... if three, then three bites etc. The dr. also said the child wouldn't starve himself to death and when he realized you were serious he'd make up for it by eating a ton. So...according to dr.s orders, we put the food in the fridge and told him when he was hungry we'd heat it up but he wasn't getting anything else. He happened to freak out and not eat a single bite of potato at dinner time. So we told him he couldn't eat till breakfast. The dr. said hold your ground, and don't give in. Come morning we heated up the potato and Drew still wouldn't eat. We put it away with no snacks and heated it for lunch and then for dinner. At which time I was freaking out, called the dr again and the dr. repeated his instructions and we put our son to bed. He cried and cried. We took turns sleeping that night and assuring our son we loved him but there was nothing to eat until morning. This went on meal after meal for THREE full days! after 3 days and 30 phone calls to our dear friend the dr. Drew woke up from his nap that afternoon, came to my said and said "momma I eat". I said ok. put him in his hi-chair and gave him his potato. I said you can have your one bit and then eat spaghetti with us for dinner. He said "no, I eat all" and he did! and then ate spaghetti for dinner too! Needless to say, his days of picky eating went on a very long time. I became a sneaky chef, figuring out how to put good stuff into what he ate. Check out the "sneaky chef" cook books for good ideas on how to do this. Since my son only liked bread and cheese, I began grinding my own flour (along with beans and legumes) and baking my own incredibly healthy breads. He is now 16 years old, six foot 5 inches tall and a very determined athlete.
So, my advice to you? say what you mean, mean what you say, and hunker down for battle. The battles are FAR easier won when the child is 2 than when they are 10 or 20! Good luck and best wishes. you're free to write any time.
K.
contented homeschool mom, wife of a wonderful man for 20 years and mom to 4 teenagers!

Personally I choose my battles very carefully, which I believe is part of why I haven't had much in the way of tantrums. Kids go through growth spurts (where they eat a ton) and skinny times where they don't eat a ton. I let them dictate how hungry they are. If they are going through a growth spurt or really active and ask for more snacks, I give them more snacks. If they're not hungry, I don't force them to eat. At 1 year old, for a skinny guy, I'd personally let him basically eat whatever he wanted. If he'll eat bread and crackers, put something fatty with it and hope he eats it. Give him pieces of cheese with his bread and crackers. Smear butter on them and jam. Let him dip them in hummus or Ranch dressing. Give him the whole grain stuff and then don't worry! It doesn't last forever.

My child went through the "I don't want to eat anything" - he probably wasn't using that much energy and didn't need much. When he had a growth spurt, he ate tons. It was hard at the time because I thought he WOULD starve, but he didn't. And I should have stressed less, and so long as he didn't demand ice cream every meal, I don't think it does much harm to let a 17 month old have choices. Adults get choices. No one MAKES them eat their dinner. No one MAKES me make liver and onions, because I don't like them and I don't have to eat them. But kids have to eat whatever we dictate. Try smoothies - let him see ice cream going into them, and then put some spinach and fruit too. Or maybe juice or whatever you want. See if he'll at least taste it.

Bottom line is, I wouldn't do anything to drastic to force him to eat at certain time or certain things. You're not going to ruin him or spoil him at 1 year old, when he's older and able to understand rules of eating at dinnertime, etc etc, then you can work on those rules. For now, let him have some control and try to get him to bulk up however you need to.