DS has entered the Terrible Two phase. He's very quick to crying and whining when he doesn't get his way. His daddy's room is like off limit because it has expensive electronics, a glass-top desk, a swivel chair, and pretty cluttered and not child friendly. DS recently started really wanting to go into the forbidden room and he becomes hysterical when we don't let him. We're not sure how to baby proof the office. DS is very curious and active. We've resorted to getting rid of all furnitures and putting our mattresses on the floor to keep him safe. Any suggestion on what we can do so his daddy can have an office and DS can be safe and NOT HYSTERICAL?
Edit:
His daddy does keep the door closed and locked when he's inside. If DS doesn't know his daddy is inside, he rarely demands to go in. Problem is after he sees his daddy.
DS doesn't seem to understand no and stop and don't or anything. He just cries like his heart would break when he doesn't get his way. I feel like it's pointless to teach him "he can't always get his way" at this point. That's not to say I always give in to his tantrums. He normally would stop after 2-5 minutes but he's unusually persistent with that room.
Edit 2:
My apologies for not being more clear. Yes, daddy does work at home. His room/office has a solid door. DS doesn't usually want to go in unless he sees his daddy come out. Daddy is not doing a very good job at staying in the room and only come out when necessary but he's been working on that after the tips from J B. Thank you.
DS does enjoy daddy's company. We're setting a more solid routine/schedule for "daddy time" so things don't get interrupted for any of us. We might get a door knob cover too. So far, today has been great with the minor adjustments.
Why isn't he safe with furnitures? I guess he inherited my clumsiness and easily hurts himself. Not intentionally. He's normally pretty not-tantrumy and cheerful...until things are disrupted. I hear you though, Marda P. We're not trying to give in to his tantrums. We're trying to find a way to avoid unnecessary tantrums or frustration. It is tough being a baby (Fanged Bunny).
Edit 3:
Mary Ann P: Thanks for the tips and sharing your story. We do have a children table set and other things around the place. Our place isn't like an empty room just nothing he can majorly hurt himself with like adult sized furnitures. He definitely cannot be in his daddy's office. Not just because of all the potential hazards but his daddy would never be able to work. DS is not at the age where he will sit still. Maybe when he's older. That would be a good idea.
It's been a week and we haven't had any problems with DS wanting to get into his daddy's office after making the minor adjustments that J.B. suggested. Thank you very much.
We didn't have to get new door knobs or door knob covers.
Just
- Never give in or let him into the room; divert attention to something else instead of keep standing by the door or "give him attention" about the office
- Have daddy stay in his office unless necessary (no more random visitations)
- Set "Daddy Time"
You're just going to have to let dad be the bad guy here. He sees daddy and then you come along and say he can't have his daddy. So that makes you the bad guy.
Daddy needs to tell son that daddy is working and he needs to go play then he needs to shut the door and gone on about his business. Then you need to not give in or baby him which is nothing more than giving him attention for negative behaviors.
I would put a gate up so he can't get inside or close the door.
He isn't trying to get to the room, he's trying to get to Daddy. Does your husband work from home or otherwise have to spend time in that room during your son's waking hours? If he does, how does he know he's there? Is there a glass door that he can see him through? If that's the case, put a curtain or shade there so that your son can't see in. If he doesn't *have* to spend time there (for something like work) then have your husband hang out in a more accessible part of the house that's already baby-proofed until your son goes to bed. This is just a temporary stage. If it's a solid door and he can't see him, try making a "goodbye" routine for when daddy has to go to work in the office, just like you would if he were leaving the house for work and then make sure your husband stays in the room and isn't in and out every few minutes all day, disrupting things.
When my kids were younger, they had a hard time staying out of my work space when I worked from home and had a sitter so I would have to be very disciplined about actually working in my work space and only coming out for lunch and bathroom breaks, just like I was in the office.
I'm a little curious about what mattresses have to do with this...are you saying you had to child proof your bedroom as well? Why?
Keep the door closed and locked, or install a gate.
Put a childproof cap on the doorknob would be my first suggestion. At this age, he will not have the manual dexterity to be able to open it. (Grandma Rocks's suggestions for 'proofing' the cover are great.)
If that doesn't work, my other suggestion would be to do what we have done for a few doors in our house; use a spring hook and eyebolt up high to keep the door closed from the outside. No, it's not perfect, but it did eliminate a lot of no's and fuss... instead of us telling him "no" and explaining, the door 'said' no by not opening.
Put a gate across the door that he cannot climb, there's some metal ones with vertical slats my guy found impossible to scale.
Or, put a door knob cover on the knob, tape the seams with a strong tape like packing or electrical tape so he cannot pop it off to get in.
Childproofing the room so he can go in there will only ensure he stays determined to have his way...if you don't want him in the office keep him out no matter how hysterical he gets, we don't always get what we want in life, toddler or not ツ
At 18 months it's time to stop giving in to his tantrums. You're setting a pattern that will continue as he gets older. He does have to learn that he can't always have his own way.
When will you stop accommodating for him? Why isn't he safe with furniture and beds? He does have to learn how to live in the real world.
The longer you wait to have boundaries the harder it will be for him to learn boundaries and the more serious his tantrums will become.
I don't know how big the office is but I suggest you find a way to make it so that he can see daddy and not gain access. What about putting up a baby gate in the doorway. Set up a small kids table and add paper and crayons. When he wants to peek in at daddy he can and then tell him he can work with daddy and sit him down to color. Maybe he has anxiety about daddy disappearing.
If that would cause more problems then not then I would just close the door if daddy's working. Tell DS "Daddy is working he can't play right now." And then take him by the hand to a different room and give him an alternative, some play doh, some other toys, etc.
I would be careful taking out all the furniture in the bedroom. While we don't want to see our kids get bumps and bruises this is precisely the way they learn how to navigate their world in a safe way. I only say this because I have a really clumsy and curious son too. We kept baby gates all over the house so that he was never around anything that wasn't safe and safe for him to pick up and touch. The problem with that was that he didn't have to learn how to navigate through the house safely because he was always protected. Fast forward to Kindergarten and he had a lot of trouble walking through the crowded class room without bumping into or tripping over things. So much so that they wrote in the comments on his report card, "Jack is still learning to safely navigate his way though the classroom." We didn't use any baby gates with my second son and he has never had problems leaving things alone when he is asked and does just fine with all the furniture. Just a word of caution.
