My daughter is a 24 yr old nurse. She works 2 on, 2 off and every other weekend. My little grandson is 18 months old. She has worked like this since he was born and he is only cared for by myself and his other grandparents. She is a very nurturing, attentive mother when she's working and when she is off.
he recently started hitting her, and he tries to hit her in the face and acts mad at her. His grandparents from Dallas take him on the weekends that she works and this last time they took him, he was hitting at his mother and acted mad at her. Is he mad at her because he is going to the grandparents? Is this normal for working mothers? Please help. She is so worried and her feelings get hurt but what can she do, she has to work.
Children just do this. I don't think it has anything to do with her working. Mom needs to take charge tell her baby to stop and all other caregivers should back her up. Don't get caught up in the "working mother" issues which is actually distracting you from the real issue which is a child looking to see where his boundaries are. Good luck.
This is normal toddler behavior. He is not doing it to hurt her he is either testing boundaries or finds it fun (playing) or both. If she is against giving him a little swat on the hand and saying firmly 'No' then she can put him in a play pen for a mini time out when he does this behavior. Be consistent and he will stop. BTW it has nothing to do with her being a working mom I stay home and my son does it from time to time too.
It is probably not anything she has done since nothing has changed. He is just learning how to express himself. All kids hit, bite, or kick Momma... It is their need to learn how to deal with feelings and they trust that Momma will love them no matter what. In a way, it is a good sign because he does love her and KNOWS she loves him back even when testing his boundaries... love hurts sometimes. :-P
Still, it is not a good behavior to hit and she should in her own way correct him, but this is nothing abnormal.
I have a 19 month old and we are finally about finished with the hitting phase. It's totally normal and doesn't have anything to do with his Momma working. It has everything to do with the fact that he's 18 months old and testing his boundaries. I tried swatting on the back of the leg, firmly saying "no hitting" and several other things. The thing that has finally solved the problem for us is for me to just put him down and walk away. As I'm putting him down I tell him "no hitting" or "it's not nice to hit". He cries for a minute then I ask him to come give me a hug. I saw almost immediate results! Good Luck!!!
Is he developmentally on track? Is he talking? Was he recently vaccinated or has he had an infection or virus before the hitting began? How are his stools? Is he hitting you too? Rule out any reason he may not be feeling well first before considering if this is only behavioral.
Normal no matter what situation. He has learned to hit and get s a reaction. She just needs to grab his arms firmly and say "No hitting!" In a firm voice each time he hits anyone. .
Do not make this a bigger thin than it is. He will pick up on it.
I agree with Laurie A. Don't have a big reaction to it. Make your face be unemotional, grab his little fist and say "no hitting," and then walk away. -- And it is normal, so do not feel bad about a working mom.
This is normal for that age. They can't express themselves in words so they hit. He might be mad, but I don't think it he's mad for her working. My 3yr old hits me & has hit me when he was younger too & I work from home! So it's just the age.
I don't think it has one thing to do with her working or not working. It's just a normal thing that kids go through in testing boundaries. He may even like doing it because he gets a reaction. Consistent and firm no's should do the trick and no amount of working or not working will change what needs to be done to correct it. What also worked for myself and daughter was when she hit - I put her down and walked away. Same thing when she tried biting for a while. That was *not* the reaction she wanted and the behaviors have stopped. And yes, I still work and she is still secure and loved. She also stays with her grandparents when I have to work.
Good luck and God Bless!
Discipline!
It's not a deep dark anger of his, it's totally normal, your daughter isn't doing anything wrong to him. Discipline the hitting firmly every time he does it and it will stop.
You'll hear "hitting teaches hitting" a lot, but my kids are swatted on the butt for maximum offenses (like hitting) and since they each tried it a couple of times at 18 months, they learned right away it was totally not allowed. One warning, then and immediate consequence if they tried it again. We never got mad or tolerated it at all.
They have never hit since, while many of their un-spanked friends do. If she's a non spanker, have her use whatever firmest discipline works best to teach him not to do the behavior. It's a massive no no! Do not let the habit get ingrained. And do not let her guilt herself for working. Practically all kids try this.
