18 Month Old Not Socializing Well

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She sounds like a normal 18-month old, especially if she's home with you and not in daycare. Don't worry, socialization will come (probably between 24 and 30 months of age).

She is 18 months? She is not supposed to socialize yet. At her age she will do "parallel play." This means she may observe other children, but playing and interacting with them will not start until she is about 2-years-old. So don't worry! Your toddler is totally normal!

http://www.babycenter.com/408_when-can-my-baby-play-with-...

And as for screaming and crying when you leave her at the babysitters, well, that's a good sign. It means she has separation anxiety. This is another totally normal development milestone. Congratulations. You have a completely normal and wonderful child!

Your child is a baby.
At this age and even past 2 years old... a baby does NOT "socialize" interactively. They do what is called "Parallel Play." Look this up online.

Keep your expectations.... age-appropriate and in line with child development. Otherwise it will be frustrating for you and her.

Your baby is NORMAL.
AND they also get 'separation anxiety" at this age and older. It is normal developmental stages. What she is doing, is normal.

all the best,
Susan

look on the bright side my son doesnt parallell play at church he fights with another kid over who gets to put the bowl on thier head. I think you have the lesser of the evils. :) shyness is a part of being a kid.

She is only 18 months. It is really early for her to be social and know how to play with others. Give her 6 months to a year and she will do much better. If you can when she is 2 find a co-op preschool or something like that where she only has to go 2 times a week for 2 or so hours a day. Even if she stands by herself or screams when you leave, she will do fine eventually and learn to play with others. You can also have play dates with one child at a time to introduce the idea of play, but don't expect much yet. She's only 18 months. Give her time. Everything will happen according to her schedule, not to anyone else's.

She is too young to socialize. When she is put in an environment other than home, she is not sure how to react because it is new. In fact, many things are new in her world since she is so young. She needs you to stay with her in nursery a few times to reassure her everything is okay, that you are not abandoning her in a strange place. Separation anxiety is common in young children. She will get better as she gets older.

18 month old babies don't usually sociallize ith other babies. The play beside them normally. You have nothing to worry about right now. If this is a problem later on, then I'd suggest that you host a few play dates to observe her behavior. But until she's 2 or 3, this is pretty standard.

You must be a very good mother. Your child is normal and feeling secure in your love. At such a young age she only needs to socialize with the family, with you, and those who are very close to her.

Playing with children at this young age is the invention of society where moms do not stay at home and the child is forced, prematurely, to be with other socially undeveloped wee ones. By nature, the child should be with mom.

Your child is right. Don't leave her at church with other children and away from you. That's harmful to her. Trust your loving heart and respond to her. She cannot be away from you. She shouldn't be away from you. If she cries, she is right. She is scared. It makes her doubt her worth and your love. Our society pushes young children ahead of time to be away from mother and family. It does much hard and leads to all the problems we see with teens and young adults.

Follow your baby's direction. She knows best. In my advice columns and lectures I recommend that young children play mostly with adults and a little with pre teens or teenagers, just one-on-one. Then they learn good social skills from socially competent people and they feel secure and loved. They develop better social skills and high self-esteem.

N. Aldort Ph.D. Author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves

I feel for you. My oldest was exactly the same, until he turned 3. He would FLIP OUT if I took him to toddler class, play dates, the library, etc. He would cry "odder kids dere!" The good news is that he's absolutely normal, just like your daughter.

What's tough for YOU in this is watching other people's children take socializing in stride, no matter how young they are. A. I right? For a long time I harbored a lot of jealousy at my friends' whose kids would do just fine at places with other kids. I was glad when my son turned the corner and matured. I felt like we were no longer the odd guys out.

On the bright side, your daughter will have a healthy skepticism of strangers; she'll never walk off with someone, like other kids would. Hang in there!

Hi H.,

She sounds just like my daughter at that age. My daughter actually was attached to my hip until she was around 6. She had 2 friends that I used to do a nanny share for, but she didn't want to interact well with any other kids. In fact, when we'd go to my friend's house who has 10 kids, she wouldn't want to go inside!

Fast forward to now...she's 10, loves being around other kids, begs for playdates, and loves to interact with adults, kids, and anyone who will listen! And that house with 10 kids...we see them 3 times a week and she begs to go over to their house.

She'll be just fine. Give her time.

Best wishes to you and your little girl!

~P. G.
LCC, Culture Care Au pair
Owner, Portland Preschool Directory
Author, Mrs. G.'s Kindergarten
http://www.PortlandPreschoolDirectory.com
http://www.MrsGowing.com

As far as not playing with the other children. Children around this age usually engage in what is called parallel play. This means they play around other children and not necessarily with them. This is still good because they get the chance to be around other children and as they develop, will begin to play with them. I am a preschool and childcare teacher and this is usually what happens.
I also have a two year old that would cry every time that I left him at church. I work in the home so that is usually the only time that I would leave him. Eventually he got over it. I think the best thing that you can do is be consistent. Bring your daughter to Sunday school every Sunday if you can. Keep the good bye short and sweet. Don't sneak out the door if you can help it but tell her you will be back. She will realize that you do come back every time. This is what I was taught at college and it is what I did with my son. Good luck.

Sounds pretty normal for her age. You could always bring it up at your next DR visit, but my guess is he/she will say it is normal. Kids really don't know how to interact with other kids. It takes a long time for some kids to learn to socialize.
Some kids get very very overwhelmed in social situations, ie: the park, church, etc....better to try smaller situations, like maybe find a friend who has one child about the same age as yours and have them over to your house. My daughter was very overwhelmed with big social situations, so we kept things quite calm and small scaled until she was a bit older. I rarely went to playdates that had more than 2 kids. And at that age it is more of a mom-date than a play date anyhow.
:-) sounds like you are a good mom and doing all the right things.

My son was the same way at that age. He is 3 now. My son is still shy (I was very shy as a child as well), but after about 15 minutes or so he opens up and will go play within a class full of other kids his age.

I can understand how you are feeling about your daughter, but hang in there. I believe this is a normal situation that she will grow out of. Just be patient. Don't push her too hard into socializing, but keep introducing her to social situations. She will develop that skill on her own, in her own time.

Hope this helps :)

~R.

Your child is completely normal developmentally. As long as she interacts with you -she is OK. It is called parallel play when the kids play next to each other but not with each other. Also, she is at prime time for separation anxiety. Give her time, no pressure. Soon she will be begging for playdates. Enjoy your time with her now. You are a great parent- the best one for your kid.

She's too young for socializing with other kids yet. Until they are 3-4 yrs old they do something called parallel play - play next to each other - not with each other, and toddlers often grab from each other quite a bit before they learn about sharing. She's doing fine for her age and sounds perfectly normal.

As other posters have suggested, this isn't a 'problem', per se, that you should be worried about. Some little ones are more explorative with each other; others are more observant and will hang back a bit. I've worked with children for nearly 20 years and have seen the spectrum of this sort of behavior at this age. My own son is 3.5 years old, and only until recently was he interested in playing With children; at your daughter's age, he was far more interested in hanging back, playing with a few toys, and watching the other kids. (I'm also more of an observer, as is my husband, but we as adults are far more comfortable jumping into the social unknown than we were as children or even younger adults.)

My advice would be to just let her stay in her comfort zone. At this age, it's not important for her to be addressing others when they come in/leave, as it would be for the 3 and 4 year olds to begin learning those civilities. Up until 3 or older, many children are content with parallel play: just sitting near each other involved in doing the same sorts of things. (This is why a toddler group room at a daycare will typically have several of one type of item, so there are enough to go around!) The *Mamas On Call* website also recently had a great article on children and shyness which might be helpful to look at. It's in their "Pearls of Wisdom" section.

In short, it sounds like you have a thoughtful, observant little girl! Enjoy this.:)

I would say not to worry (as hard as it is not to), this is a developmental thing for their age especially. Kids are becoming aware that they are seperate from parents and not just an extension...It's a scary time, and if you have been her main consistent adults around her (not in a whole lot of extra activities where she has been around a lot of other people) it is perfectly natural that she will feel more secure around you and those people in your home. Also, my older one was very outgoing and would talk to anyone (he was around tons of people, in a large extended family) from the time he was able to talk. However, my second son (who was only around my older son and myself) is a much shyer child...only wants to be in small groups if a group at all...and ALWAYS sticks to me when we are out in public anywhere...even in church with the people he has seen once a week since he was born! From 18months- 2 and a half they are somewhat finding their little world and deciding that they are seperate from you...it's like a preview of the teenage years, one minute they will cling to you, the next they will push you away...It will eventually mellow out...Hope things get better, and a suggestion if your child has cousins around her age, you may try playdates once a week (maybe at your house to start with for her comfort) and then work on heading to the park nearest your house with the playdates....Just an idea...Best of luck and lots of love and good wishes for the little one! :)