18 Month Old up at 2-3 a.m. Screeming!

Updated on March 27, 2008
H.H. asks from Liverpool, NY
29 answers

My 18 month old has been sleeping in his own crib since about 14-15 months old (when I completed nursing). Things have been smooth, with the occasional instance of bringing him to bed with us to get him back to sleep (I work full time and every bit of sleep I can get is helpful) Lately, he has been waking up between 2 and 3 in the morning screeming his little head off. I have tried calming him down and getting him back to sleep with no success. He wants no part of calming himself and getting back to sleep. He can scream for over 30-45 minutes. He just saw the MD for his 18 month check up and was given a clean bill of health. The MD didn't offer any suggestions other than the possiblity that his incisors are coming in and that may be painful. I tried Tylenol with no success and I hate to give him something if he doesn't need it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

this is pretty normal,

he knows now that if he cries you will come,

so i think that from now on, don't wait till he cries hysterically,

get up as soon as you hear him stirring,
and pop a pacifier into his mouth, rub his head and nosy and cheeks, cover him up, and leave the room,

DO NOT TALK because thats a stimulant.

I think he just needs to know you are there,

if he cries, then bring him to bed with you, wait till he falls asleep, and then, put him back in his crib,

the trick is making him wake in his crib,

Good luck

M

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B.R.

answers from New York on

when my older one was litle, she had night terrors. Scary thing, I stayed with her till she calmed down and she never remembered anything the nexy day. I was a nervous thing with these terrors, talking calmly to her seemed not to work. I waited it out and eventually they stopped.

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E.S.

answers from Syracuse on

Your toddler could be having night terrors. Without more information, it is hard to say. There used to be a website called nightterrors.org. My son started having them before he was even a year old. He was four years old before a friend told me about night terrors. He had them so infrequently that I never thought to ask his doctor about them.

Usually about an hour or so after going to sleep, he would wake up screaming and kicking. I would try to console him without success. He would let me hold him and then push me away. I would end up leaving him on the floor and watching TV until he stopped. Then he would crawl into my lap and was asleep again in seconds. I was baffled by it until I learned about night terrors. My son is now 10 years old and has outgrown them, but he does occasionally sleepwalk.

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M.F.

answers from Syracuse on

a similar thing happened with the child of some friends. he had had "night terrors" since he was very small. when we witnessed it one night at a party at their home, we gathered as a group to pray in the presence and authority of Jesus Christ that the terrors stop. after a few minutes the child settled down to sleep and to this day more than 20 years later he has not had another incident.
i know that not everyone believes as we do, but if you are interested, write me.

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

H.,
My bet is it's night terrors and even though he may seem awake, and even may be aware of you, he's asleep! Don't freak out though, I had the same problem with one of my sons at around 16months all of the sudden he "woke up" screaming, we'd try to calm him down but to no avail...it would last for an hour or two, we were at our wits end....I spoke with my peditrican and she told me night terrors usually start around 2 but they can start earlier...( I was about to give birth to our 4th son and even though I don't think he understood that I think he knew things were changing). The good thing about night terrors is they aren't forever, they stop as quickly as they started...we delt with them for about a month, with a relasp a couple months later of maybe 2 weeks(a friend's son had them for 4 months straight...not to scare you). I know what it feels like, it's kind of scarey...but at least if it is night terrors(which it sounds like to me)he's asleep and you and your husband are the only ones suffering...my son would have his eyes open, bang on his crib...we'd pick him up and he'd roll, kick, scream on the floor...he couldn't be calmed, if I left the room he'd freak even though he wouldn't let me touch him...he just had his 6th birthday last weekend and he is healthy, no nightmares ever, Goodluck, this to shall pass!

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F.K.

answers from Syracuse on

maybe he is having night terrors, do you have a night light, i heard soft classical music is calming. loving touches, soothing words. being a mom is so hard, do you love it like i do

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C.P.

answers from Elmira on

it is probably his teeth like the dr. said but you could try little teethers teething tablets. you can get them at any drug store. they will numb the gums but won't have any effects from medicine. I used them on my son and I swear by them. he is two and still has his big boy teeth to come in. I went throught the bouts of the middle of the night screaming the tablets is the only thing I found that worked. Good Luck.

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T.C.

answers from New York on

Consider trying homeopathic teething tablets (made by Hyland's) - our 14 month daughter gets a lot of relief from them, as compared to 2-4 hours MAX from Tylenol or Motrin.
Have there been any dietary changes or gastrointestinal issues for your son recently? His body could be responding to them in the early morning hours.

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S.D.

answers from Syracuse on

H.

My son, who is now a couple of months away from 3, used to wake up the same as yours. I too am a full-time working mother of 2 beautiful children and love to sleep. You know, long before children were involved. LOL!!!!!!!!

I would be sound asleep and hear this blood curdling scream. It would freighten me so. I too asked the pediatrician, and also got nowhere with that. So I had to make a couple decisions on how to resolve the issue.

I was pretty sure that there was no issue like his teeth coming in, I changed his diaper just before he went to sleep, and fed him as well. When none of these things seemed to work I thought that he may possibly be having "night terrors." I looked into this, but there really isn't that much info on this topic.

So, long story short, I purchased a glider and placed it in his room. When he woke at nighttime with this screaming, I would go to his room, sit in the glider and rock away. It seemed that everytime I went in, it got a little better and a little faster for him to go back to sleep. Now it is to the point that we have not had to go into his room the last 4-5 months now and he is sleeping through the night.

Just be patient. It seems like there is no end in sight but have faith in yourself and your child that things will work out and that this is something he will grow out of.

S. D.

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A.N.

answers from New York on

i would try motrin instead of tylenol. it is longer lasting and helps get my 18 month old through the night when she is teething. the tylenol wears off after 4 hours (or less) and the motrin can go 6-8 hours. hope it helps.

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S.C.

answers from Rochester on

H.,
Maybe he is thirsty, try letting him have a water bottle when he goes to bed. Also classical music played softly while he sleeps may help sooth him back to sleep. Get him used to the music when you lay him down to sleep at naps as well as at night. Using the same CD will work the best. I had an in home daycare for 25 years and this is what i did at nap time. If we were in the car and one of the songs came on the radio, the kids often fell asleep during the song.
S.

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E.G.

answers from New York on

This happened to my daughter from time to time. She had night terrors. Basically I brought her to my bed to cuddle and she eventually calmed down and realized everything was ok. I felt like she was still sleeping and inconsolable at times and then she snapped out of it all of a sudden. I am of the family bed school and love when my kids are sleeping next to me. How cozy and how many years do you get to have them want to sleep next to you? Now she is 9 and ofcourse sleeps in her own bed except for special occassions.

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W.L.

answers from Albany on

Hi H.,

A quick thought, could it be noght terrors? My daughter had one the other week and it lasted for more then 30 minutes. She soemtimes responded to me as if she was awake, but she really wasnt. It was awful. Holding her seemed to calm her down. My forend she actually had to put water on her childs face to help him snap out of it when he had it. I think you are suppoese to keep them safe when it occurs, but I do not believe something that lasts so long and is so terrifyin should be let to run its course. Since my daughter only had it once I have not researched it further.

Good Luck,

W. L.

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J.N.

answers from Buffalo on

he wants to be in bed with you!!! be consistant. go in, calm him down. if you can't then just reasure him rub his back for a moment, and leave. go in every few minutes and after a few nights it sould subside. maybe giving him a small stuffed animal to hug may help, it may pacify him in your absence. i'm surprised that your peditrition didn't help. i had the same problem when my son was 15 months & our doctor called me at home & helped me through the process, reassured us & talked us through it & it worked. good luck!

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A.A.

answers from Austin on

Parenting is really exhausting and it is hard sometimes to accept the fact that our kids need parenting at night too as well as during the day. Comfort will help if it is teething or night terrors or separation anxiety and perhaps if you just take your child to bed with you and try to calm her you will at least be able to REST yourself if not actually sleep.

I believe we all have to go with our instincts and if your instinct is that your child needs comfort then GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT.

It will not last forever and comfort and rest are the most important things for both of you.

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S.R.

answers from New York on

Same thing happened to us, and we made the mistake of letting him sleep in our bed, and we could not get him out until he turned five. I would just lay him down, tell him that you love him and everything is ok, but it is time to go to sleep. If he gets up again, don't say a word. Just go in their and quickly lay him down. It may take a few days or even a week for him to get the idea that you are not going to bring him into your bed. You may want to bring a comfortable rocker into his room so that you can rock him back to sleep and be comfortable yourself. Keeping him out of your room is a key thing though.

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C.R.

answers from Albany on

Hi H., I have a 23 month old so we just went through this. Your 4 year old must have been a good sleeper yes? Anyway we also let our daughter sleep with us to get her back to sleep...stop it immediately!! It was harder to break her of that than it was the pacifier. Make sure you have a good long bed time routine, ours is almost an hour. That way they know bed time is coming and they have to start calming down. Bath, brush teeth, take vits, put pj's on, read books (8 - 10 of them if you have to). We also took her night light out of her room. When they wake up in the middle of the night and can see light they are more apt to wake up and look around. If they see complete darkness they are more apt to just close their eyes and go back to sleep on their own. We also put a lulaby CD on repeat that plays until she gets up in the morning. Or you could try a fan or other white noise maker. Close his door and your door so you can't hear the screaming. My ped said the "cry it out" method always works best and it's ok for them to cry for up to an hour at this age. When our daughter was younger, 10 - 12 months, we would put the vacuum right outside her door. The noise put her to sleep and drowned out the screaming so we didn't have to hear it. Of course every time we'd get her sleeping through the night something would mess her up; teething, sickness, ear infection, vacation..and we'd have to start all over again. Each time got easier and easier. It worked so good that we started our second daughter at 6 months using the same methods and after only 2 nights she slept through and has ever since. Boy do we wish we'd done it with our first child sooner, there's a lot of sleep we can't get back. Good luck, you're not alone.

C. R

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J.P.

answers from New York on

In my opinion, it could be separation anxiety, which crops up every now and then. If it's separation anxiety, it will probably only last a few days IF you don't give in to him too much (I'm not trying to inflame any passions here, just honestly stating my opinion). I would go in to him only once, DON'T take him out of the crib, maybe give him a hug, wait until he's calm, then explain to him that it's still sleepy time (or whatever your phrase is), everything's Ok, you're right in the next room, and leave. He WILL flip out, and may scream for 45 mins, but the next night it will be a little better, and so forth. Good luck.

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S.F.

answers from New York on

First, you need to take the possibility of pain seriously. Tylenol does not work for all kids. You may need to try Motrin at bedtime and then a second dose if it is >6hrs since last dose. Second, this sounds like it could also be a behavioral issue of your child wanting more contact with you. You will need to be firm and set limits. If sleep is crucial for you, it is NOT ok to get into the habit of being awakened every night. If/when you feel ready you will need to set clear behavioral expectations and explain them to you child (they do have some language ability at this point--although not a lot) and then stick to your plan. Your plan could be anything from never going until morning, to some modification like you go in, sooth with your voice only and then leave etc.... Whatever you choose to do be CONSISTENT!!! Also, I would consider giving regular doses of pain meds during your "behavioral modification" phase, so that you can rule out the issue of pain. If your child wakes up and you know he/she has gotten a dose of motrin 3 hours ago, you will be much more comfortable assuming this is more of a "wish" than a "need" for you.

A lot of people are bringing up night terrors. But these typically occur in the first 1/2 of the night, not the later portion. Also, you would be able to see that your child was not really fully conscious when you went in or even not really awake/responsive. I think you'd be able to tell if that's what it was. The reflux comment is a good idea as well. But honestly the most common explanation is simply a behavioral one. Your child got mixed messages by getting to come into bed with you. Why wouldn't he want to do everything in his power to get to do that some more?
Best of Luck

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H.S.

answers from New York on

Hi H.,

Yeah, I'm here for ya girl. I can totally sympothize. But I'm going to tell you what was wrong with my little guy. This doesn't neccesarily mean it's the same thing but who knows, it may give you a peace of mind. My son is 4 now so you can only imagine how long this went on for before I figured it out. Have you ever heard of nightmares being hereditary? Well momma, they are. I have always had nightmares. They come in clusters. I would have them consistantly for a couple weeks straight and then none for a few months. Forget about the Ole' Wives Tales about foods, it's in the genes. Anyway, after talking with numerous doctors of all kinds, that's what we found. He has them the same time every night, he is delirious (sp?) half the time when he's crying and has absolutely no clue or recognition as to what's going on around him. He talks, walks and cries for a good 3-5 mins. I take him in my bed. Hold him snug and close and rub his back. Gone-out like a light. He doesn't even remember. As far as your son's incisers, just press your finger in the back and feel for them. Rule that out if possible. Take a look and see if his gums are actually swollen or red. Talk to your Ped. about nightmares. If your or your husband has them, then chances are he may too. I'm curious what you will find. Email if you want and let me know how you made out. Good luck and always remember, you're not alone. ____@____.com

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B.G.

answers from New York on

This could be Night Terrors! There is nothing you can do but wait it out from what I have heard. Many times, a mother can not even get the child to respond and the child does not remember it and goes right back to sleep when it is done. It is a phase that they go through.

Your pediatrician should know more.

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K.S.

answers from Rocky Mount on

Well I see that most people are saying what I'm going to say...nightmares or night terrors. My daughter (18 months) went through a spell where she would wake up screaming and kicking. I'd go to hold her she would scream "No, no" and push me away. As soon as I put her down she would cling to me like at the edge of the earth and then push me away again. It was scary until one of my girlfriends told me about her son (it went on for 2 years!).

Not much you can do. Just have to be there for them. Don't turn on the light, just try calming sounds in a low voice. Some people say they're not completely awake so anything sudden might scare them further.

My little one only seems to have nightmares now but those night terrors were scary! Hang in there.

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R.L.

answers from New York on

he's not sick? he's not teething? no big changes in his life? could he be going through a seperation anxiety? They do have nightmares at this time now as well. I'd say respond and give cuddles. It if it is emotional, he'll get over it much faster with your support.

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M.F.

answers from New York on

hi H.,
i'm a mother of an 11 month old and we recently went to a sleep doctor. We were having some sleep issues and it was becoming sooo stressful so i'm so glad someone suggested this doctor. He actually has a book called, the guide to sleeping. his name is dr. brian symons. we live in australia and my family is back in the states so we really need to be on the same page in our home esp since i don't have any support. anyway, we were told that we needed to stop going into his room every 20 to 30 minutes while we were trying to get him to sleep bc he's a smartie and would just cry until wereturned and so on. This also means if he were to cry at 4am or midnight. let me tell you i'm a softy and it hurts to hear him cry but i did it!! we were told to put him down and don't go in til the morning. it's been a few weeks and all is good. so, my suggestion is let him cry even though it's so painful to listen to and try this for at least 3 nights. she should realize by then he should go back to sleep. he's not hungry he's just made it a little habit. i would also look up this dr and maybe get the book. good luck. now, we;re working on our day sleeps :). M.

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T.K.

answers from New York on

H.,I am a mother of a five year old daughter who did the same thing when she was about 14 months old.Nothing my husband and I did to comfort her seemed to work.To my surprise,my daughter had acid reflux.So,when she went to bed at night, the acid would rise in her chest,causing her pain.She would scream until no end.Her pediatrician prescribed liquid zantac for children and it solved the problem almost immediately.Alot of doctors seem to overlook this problem ,saying it is either colic or teething.Please consult your pediatrician about this.This may be your little ones problem.I hope this helps.T. K

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A.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Try baby oragel, if it works then it is teeth pain.

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A.S.

answers from Albany on

HI Heatehr,

I had the samething happen, but she is only 6 months old. She was sleeping 8:30-6 and then a few nights started to wake at 12 and scream. We would wait, but that didn't help. So I would go in, she was not hungry, needed to be rocked to sleep. Now, she does it on her own. It could be a growth spurt, or just needing you. I got really sick, and I think she needed me, and now its once in a while. We have no idea why. She seems to wake scream a bit and then go back to sleep,just enough to get you up too. Take care and I hope it works out.

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D.Z.

answers from Binghamton on

Hi H.,

My daughter went through a similar period. She is 3 now and hasn't had that happen in a while. At first the doctor thought she was having seizures because she would be screaming with her eyes open but it was like no one was in there. We actually had to put her through all sorts of testing to find out that it was not seizures. If only we had known about night terrors we could have avoided all of that.

It was night terrors. Different from a bad dream, scary for parents to watch, but don't worry because your child is unaware it is happening. We referred to nightterrors.org for information, and that confirmed that it was night terrors. That may be what is going on with your baby. If so, they will probably go away just as suddenly as they started. The big thing is to keep him safe during an episode.

D.

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C.O.

answers from New York on

It sounds like it could be the beginning of night terrors. My 21 month old daughter started doing the same a few months ago and now it's the same every 2nd night or so. My 5 year old daughter did the same. They aren't aware of it, they are basically asleep so no amount of calming them down will help because they are unaware of what's going on. I would highly recommend anyone out there with a toddler to get a hold of Robin Barker's The Mighty Toddler (The Essential Guide to the Toddler Years). She says the following: "Night terrors can sound and look alarming but it is best to do nothing. They can last for a few minutes or up to half an hour. If you want to stay in the room and watch over your toddler until the night terror passes. It is advisable to do nothing. If your toddler wakes up, speak to him briefly, settle him and leave."

They apparently occur in the early part of the night. Not associated with dreaming...the toddler might thrash around, cry and yell but does not come fully awake. If his parents try to comfort him he does not recognise them or understand what is going on. if he wakes up he is not frightened and has no idea what has been going on. the next day he has no recollection of the event."

Or, as you said, it could be teething. We tried the same when the night terrors started. Last night I actually picked her up, soothed her to sleep and put her back to bed with no more wakings through the night.

Hope this helps.

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