18 Month Old Wont Sleep on His Own.

Updated on October 05, 2008
J.A. asks from Brooklyn, NY
5 answers

Hi all,
My son recently turned 18 months and has been refusing to go down for naps in his crib. I have a bit of history with this problem as I spent the first 15 months napping with him while nursing him . Finally ,about three months ago, I made the bold decision to try to put him in his crib after nursing him down and it worked instantly, he rolled over on his belly and went straight to sleep for 2 hours, I guess he was ready for the change . It was wonderful ,It gave me some much needed down time .
However, the day he turned 18 months, it all changed. He shows me he is tired, lays his head on my shoulder, we go to his room , I nurse him and than try to put him down to nap Now he just lifts himself up, grabs the crib bars and cries . I have tried to push the nap time up thinking he may be dropping his morning nap . The thing is that if I hold him he will eventually fall asleep in my arms while nursing . This is sweet at first, but as we know, very confining and increasingly frustrating.My days are feeling really long and I am getting a bit desperate.I keep thinking that I should just go on with our day and let him fall asleep in the stroller, but this only happens sometimes and than he doesn't nap for very long. I know he needs some restorative sleep and I don't want him to get into a habit of not napping at all, so the past several days, I have just accepted the napping in arms scenerio...maybe I am just getting too worn out to have the energy to put my foot down??
We have always nursed to sleep . I have plans to wean him in 3-4 months and I am trying to eliminate some daytime feedings, but with the milestones and clinginess that are apparently typical of the 18-22 month phase, I don't sense that this is the best time for me to cut out nursing before bedtime and naps.that said, I would appreciate any feedback or advice from moms who have been through this. What did you do? suggestions? encouragement? advice?
Thanks in advance.
Julia

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A.M.

answers from New York on

thats great that you have decided to extend your nursing:)

i would def say he should only have 1 nap now. i know the hfeeding may get him to sleep, but him not getting fully asleep is telling you he is done. in doing that, maybe move up his bedtime and time of afternoon nap. it may take awhile to work it all out, but you will get it.

i totally agree with you trying to elminate the night nursings last. those are the most missed so your schedole of weaning him sounds good. but if it doesnt work out, dont stress, just do what you think is right.

good luck

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A.M.

answers from New York on

I had a similar problem with my now almost 3 yr old son. He became a horrible napper once nursing was out of the picture. I weaned him around 21 months fully but from naps around 18 or 19 months because I was pregnant and it became too uncomfortable. When we started nap weaning it was really hard for about 3 weeks if I remember correctly. I think I blocked it out since I can't truly remember how long this lasted! It was so hard like you said because you get so run down. This is when he discovered he could jump out of the crib. So at first we put a twin mattress on the floor for him to sleep on then transitioned him to the toddler bed. Getting him in the toddler bed actually seemed to help because it was fun new bed and maybe he felt less trapped. We put child safety handles on his bedroom doorknobs tho so he couldn't get out of his room at night without us knowing.

For the first several months after nap weaning I resorted to stroller walks or car rides at naptime. He dropped the am nap and started napping just after lunch which helps because they're more tired by the time they get to nap. I eventually just started building a naptime routine. Letting him watch a short show that he likes to settle him down, bring to his room and read stories, turn on quiet relaxing baby einstein music, then I'd lay on the mattress by his bed and time for our nap! I'd either sleep too or sneak off after. Then I eventually started not laying down on the floor and just sat on the floor reading. Next it was leaving the door open and I'm in the hallway folding laundry or something. Now I go in the computer room next to his room and leave his door open til he falls asleep. He still to this day fights me on it sometimes when he really doesn't want to nap, but I know the more he complains when in bed, he's really tired and falls asleep shortly after the protesting.

I hope this helps. Feel free to email if you have any other questions that I might be able to help with. Best of luck and hang in there! It will get better with time - and if you're like me, after tears on both your parts! Take care.

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E.E.

answers from New York on

Try putting him to bed earlier at night (7 pm) and then eliminating the morning nap. Then move the afternoon nap about an hour earlier. Try this for a few weeks to see if it works. Also get Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth. Yes, he believes in the cry it out method, but there is also a lot of good information in it for those who don't want to do that (I didn't want my son to cry either). He describes how children sleep at different ages and the average times they should be sleeping, and how they sleep and why, with research to back it up. I really liked his advice and it helped us get our son to fall asleep on his own at night without a lot of crying. At 8 months old, he is still not great at napping, but he never has been. I think some kids just don't nap well no matter what.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

My 7yo stopped napping at 18 months old! She would only nap on vacation at the beach. (Our day started when the sun came up and ended long after it went down. We literally ran her to sleep!!) My 2yo only naps once in a while. She too started that at 18 months. They are both good night time sleepers. 8pm to 6:30-7 am. I reluctantly stopped trying for a nap. You could try increasing activity or changing it to something that makes him tired in the am if your set on a nap but be warned you may wear out before he does!!! ;) I now LOVE my time between 8pm and when I go to bed. I watch TV, scrapbook, clean or whatever I WANT! It is awesome and they get so much needed sleep. Good Luck!!! A.

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R.W.

answers from New York on

My daughter is 20 months and is still nursing. However, I stopped nursing her to sleep at night at about 16 months old and the nap (I work during the day) so with the babysitter she was used to sleeping in the stroller and for a long time while I was home on the weekends she would nurse to sleep for nap time. Finally about a month ago I finally had enough and told her that she has to sleep in her crib for nap time. I nursed in in the living room before we go into her room and then we had a bit of a stand off. She cried in the crib but I stayed in the room and told her I love her but that she needs to sleep in her crib. My husband then went in b/c he is the one who usually stays with her until she falls asleep at night and what do you know- wihtin 10 minutes she was asleep- since then I can also put her down for a nap- I sing to her, rub her back- but I keep her in the crib and don't give in when she cries b/c I know at this point she is doing it to see what happens and b/c she is not getting what she wants so its okay if she cries.
I guess if you are determined- nurse before you go into the room or in a chair vs the bed before putting your son down for a nap and then read, sing, rub his back or whatever else works- the first several times might seem like wasted time since you are in the room so long that you might as well have given in and nursed to sleep but after several days it won't take as long and you will get the break that you need during the day.

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