19 Month Old HATES Bathtime

My son, now 20 months, also did this same thing when he was about 16 or 17 months. My husband, who usually gives him his bath, tried lots of thing just like you. He ended up just making baths as short as possible and skipping them every once in a while. The screaming/dislike of the bath went on for about 3 weeks, then for no reason at all he went back to liking bath time. Maybe just patience and it will pass?

I am the mother of six kids ranging in age from 14 to 1. I have experienced the very same thing with each of my kids. It is just a "phase" and they all seemed to get over the "not liking the bath" on their own. I think that it is just a way of the child expressing their own will. I know it is very hard to deal with, but she will get over it soon. My only other suggestion is to let her help you -- let her wash herself as much as she is capable of. This will help distract her and also help her feel "big" and that she has control over something.

Hi J., I have 3 grown daughters and they are little fish today. I recall my middle daughter Rebecca scared me half to death as she would jump in any water available. My oldest was like your J.. I let go. I would let her see me take a bath. I would not push, not bribe, just simple comments like oh this feels so nice. I would put my face in the water and blow bubbles and show her it was fun and I was not frightened of not being able to get air. . I would turn my head sideways and put face in water and breath like swimmers do. I taught and coached a swim team for years. I taught personal lessons. Many children until age 4 years did not like the water. The moms got so frustrated. I told many moms lessons are a waste of money until 4 years of age as the little ones do not retain the info and cordination. I sggested they play with them in the pool until old enough to learn and want to learn. J. will get there I am most sure of it. You will get through this! I told moms do not worry, he or she will come around. M. would sit and together they would maybe dangle feet in water and watch the lessons. Sure enough in time some longer then others the little squirt was in swim team. My Jessica came arond at 3 years old in the tub. She hated having hair washed and brushed up to 12 years old. I thought it through and tied in pony tail half brushing it. The less deal I made of it the faster she got over it. She is 30 today and is tender headed. She will fuss with me, I highlight her hair and cut it and to this day she is tender headed and of course fusses with me brushing too hard. Shes my kid, lids do that to moms. . I am a hairstylist of 24 years.
I got Jessica a soft, her very own boar bristle brush at age 3 and she started brushing her own hair. Underneath it looked like dreadlocks, and I was a hairstylist. We just wrapped it in a pony tail., start from the bottom up and brush in small sections , hold on to hair above where you are brushing, it really helps the tender headed. Do not worrry you little girl will come around,maybe something scared her in the water. Just keep patient and do not make a big deal, no more bribes you are the M.. You dont have to make mistake I made cuz bribes are a learned behavior, soon before I knew it I would hear my daughters bribe someone to do their homework. I taught her how. I laugh its really no big thing. You daughter is healthy like john lennon sang let it be.
When you let go doors will open you will see!!! Best wishes PattiB
If you care to look at my website it is quite interesting www.breatheasy08.com
my e mail ____@____.com if you want to write back sometime!

Hello J., Honestly they don't need to be washed as much as we think they do. I wouldn't push it. She has some very good reason for resisting, even though you may never know what it is. For awhile, you could just use a wash cloth, then maybe just her feet in the sink. Anything, to allow her to choose having fun bathing again.

To help her feel in integrity with her personal power (and need to resist your desires less) you may want to read, "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power and joy," by Naomi Aldort. Enjoy! ~T.

Have you tried washing her in the kitchen sink? Maybe she needs a change of scenery. I washed my son in our laundry room utility sink once, when he got very muddy outside and I didn't want to get the bath tub filthy. He thought it was hilarious to take a bath in the sink!
If your daughter is going through a phase where she is uncomfortable in water, maybe you could take her to an indoor pool to get her used to it again. Get her one of those baby floats so she is very safe, and get in with her. Maybe she needs to be reminded that water is fun!
As far as the hair washing, I knew someone who put a bunch of pictures on the ceiling of the bathroom, so they could coax their child to look up while having their hair washed. It worked really well for them.

I was going to suggest that you try taking a bath with her, but I see you've already done that ....
My son went through the same thing a little while ago and luckily it didn't last long at all. Now he is back to his usual bath "mood" - loves it and wants to stay in forever. Maybe your daughter will get over this phase very soon as well.

How does she react when you take a bath and she is just in the same room ? Does she wanna get in then? And maybe wash your hair, before you do hers?

Good luck :).

My youngest did the same thing at about the same age- I got in the bath with him for awhile (swim suit if you need it), it didn't take long. I will still put my feet in once in a while... it comforts him on those I don't want a bath days.

Also on the hair washing- have her hold a wash cloth over her eyes and tipp her head way back or touch her chin to her chest... this really helps with the no water in the eyes. When I took a bath with mine I actually showed both of my sons how I could do this with no water getting me... It helped them. My four year old now will wash his hair by himself with no fear of the water and my two year old is still a little cautious but no more screaming.

Little girls shouldn't take to long of baths, especially with lots of bubble for long durations. Bladder infections and/or yeast infections can be caused by to long in the bath, but not something to worry about if bath time doesn't last forever...

This is very very common for kids to suddenly fear the bathtub. It might have something to do with wondering where the water goes when the bath is done and could the drain suck them down too, or it might be completely different. The first thing I would try is just giving her a sponge bath for a few days...in the tub, but just fill a bucket (while she is busy doing something else) and then wash her that way. If she starts to get comfortable with that, then start filling the tub with a very little water (again, when she's busy doing something else...the noise of the water running can sometimes upset kids) and always make sure you take her out of the bathroom before you drain the tub. Maybe buy her a fun towel with a character she likes. My 19 month old daughter loves Elmo and Dora, so we got some wash cloths. She also hates having her hair washed, so I always save that for last. She only went thru one episode of hating the bath, but it stemmed from having a high fever and I would give her a bath to help bring the fever down and it was very traumatic for her. But she got over it pretty quickly. Did she have diaper rash ever that made it painful to sit in the tub? Or any other even that might have started this whole thing? Sometimes it's nothing, kids just suddenly have a fear of something they used to love. It's just part of development. She'll get over it, just keep gradually working with her and being sensitive to her fears. I know how frustrating it can be.

Maybe she doesn't like the water coming over her face, as you mentioned the hair washing bit - they do have "protectors" for bath time to help with that, or you could give her a wash cloth to cover her face during that time and talk her through when the water is coming. My daughter has to have the temperature just right, and we count the number of cups of water that go over her head to rinse out the bubbles to make them go bye-bye.

I just went through this with my daughter~~I chalked it up to 2 year old behavior. lol. I didn't make it an issue even though I wanted to rip my hair out! lol. I would give her a choice between a bath and a wipe down (as one of the other mom's suggested) I would even give her the cloth to do the wipe down when she was fighting that. I also let her play in the kitchen sink. She wouldn't always sit in the sink so sometimes I would fill it with the bubble bath and water and sit her on a towel next to it with a rag and her bath toys. One day she just asked for a bath. Hang in there and trust your gut, we moms have ways of figuring out what our kids need when we take a deep breath and listen--either to ourselves, our mom's or our friends! lol. My sister suggested the crayons which you tried, it didn't work right away either until I got in and started coloring one day. I didn't invite her in I just got in and colored and played and when she said she wanted to color I said, oh these are bath toys. It was a couple days later she asked to take a bath.

My daughter had the same problem hit when she was 21 months old. I purchased a shampoo rinse cup from babiesrus and it has helped a lot. Here is a link to one. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2793366

My oldest went through something similar at about the same age. I still have no idea why she hated the bath for awhile! I would only bathe her on days she absolutely had to be washed up, then it was an in and out thing. I found if I let her stand while I washed her it helped her not to freak out as much. I just put a slip-proof pad on the bottom of the tub. If you force it, it is only going to make it worse. Just as suddenly as it started, it stopped and she has loved her baths again ever since!

Go get her a visor for her head so water and shampoo doesn't run in her face. Unfortunately she has to take a bath, I would suggest going and getting her a doll that can go in the bath and make it a big deal she gets to wash her baby while you wash her. It isn't something you can just put off for a while, baths are necessary. It is probably a phase and she is showing her independence. Hang in there, it will probably pass when she figures out she has to take one anyway.

My daughter, who was born loving water and baths, also did this. It took a few weeks, but we finally got it worked out. I would put on my swimsuit and get in the tub with her. My sister bought her a fun pirate boat with figurines, treasure chests, and all sort of enticing extras to play with in the bathtub. It still took a while, but after doing this for a few weeks she began to love her bath again without me in it.

Both my boys have gone thru phases like that (2 1/2 and 9 months). When we go to the pool it seems to show them again how much fun "splish splash", as we call it, is. Our local rec center has a very kid friendly pool so that helps too, starts shallow and has the works. Wish you the best of luck!

TIME...that is the only advice that I can give you. My son did the same thing about the same time and he got over it. I know that doesn't help a lot but it will pass I promise. If you can get by with just washing with a wash cloth for a short time just don't push the issue and see what happens, that is what I had to do.

I went through this with dd for awhile at about the same age it was horrible. I felt so bad with all the screaming she did. I see that you got new bath toys and crayons just make sure she knows that they are only for bathtime. One thing I did was strip her down to a diaper and then walked off to the tub. I turned on the water and just kind of swirled it around kneeling at the tub. I ignored dd she eventually came to see what I was doing and wanted to get in. So I stripped off the diaper and put her in and she had no problems since it was her idea to get in. Oh one thing dd liked was instead of bubble bath was the dyes which turn the bath water different colors.

1.Pray for help. 2. Have other people you trust give her a bath. Maybe they can show you something that will help. My two month old son hates baths too. He likes showering with his dad. I won't get into the tub with him because of a personal belief that boys should only see boy parts. My step-mother gave him a bath and he loved it. I tried what she did and he was okay until it was time to wash his hair. You might want to try having an older sibling or child bathe with her. 3. Check to make sure there are no infections, like yeast infections. I heard that you don't want your child in the tub longer than half an hour, especially girls because of yeast infection. 4. Make sure she's not hungry.

I have a baby like yours, 28 months old. Here are some things we do ... I have also taken a bath with him, and let him stay up on my legs for a while before submerging him. Sometimes I put a few inches in the tub with toys, so he can stand outside the tub and watch them--he eventually wants in. We've tried bathtime for just playing, no washing. I've recently noticed that he will cry until the washing is over, so lately it's easiest just to put him in, let him stand and pour water on him with a cup, wash and rinse him, then I tell him we're all finished and he'll sit and play for a long time. Go figure! Until your baby is less afraid, consider washing her hair in the kitchen away from the bath (yes, she'll still cry), and use a wash cloth or baby wipes for "bathing" without a bath. It's a stage, and our babies will eventually be okay with it, probably earlier if we don't force it. Hope these ideas help!

Sometimes mildly dry skin will burn when it gets wet. Make sure you are using mild soap only (or no soap) and avoiding bubble bath which can make dry skin and/or vulvitis worse. The problem is that, even if her skin is fine now, if it was dry and hurt last week, she will still be scared of the bath.

Hi J.,
My son who just turned 2 recently went through this phase (about 2-3 mos. ago). We were completely perplexed because he's always loved bathtime. While he wasn't a huge fan of getting his face and hair wet, he loved playing in the water. Then all of a sudden, he would FREAK out when it came to bathtime. I have read several books/articles/parent chat room stuff that kids between 18 mos-3 year can go through a "scary phase" where they are scared of a lot. They are just now starting to figure out the world and their place in it, and they also start to realize that things can hurt them. My son for some reason we learned was terrified of the fish bathmat. Not sure why, be he still to this day will say "scary fish". We took it out and he watched as we threw it away. We gently then started to re-introduce the bathtime, but I also have to say we stayed firm with him that he needed bathtime to get clean, that we all take baths or showers to get clean, etc. So it was a fine line between recognizing his fear, yet not enabling him to take over his life. We talked to him a lot about what scared him (bath, trucks, the dark) and would constantly reinforce to him that we were there with him, we wouldn't let him get hurt, etc. Hope this helps. Good luck.
-J. R.