Hello Ladies,
Just a quick question. I have a 19 month old daughter and was wondering about when you would switch beds. This is my only child and have no clue. My daughter slept great in her crib threw the night without waking up. Sometime after 1 year she started waking about 4 or 5 in the morning. We would put her on the couch and she would fall back asleep and be fine for the rest of the night. We explained this to the Dr. at her 18 month visit and she said she might be ready for her crib to turn into a bed (the mattress is the same size of her crib we just took the wall down. Well, my husband was soo excited so that day he took the wall down in the crib that day. She is still not sleeping threw the night. Still wakes up during the night, we put her on the couch and goes right back to sleep. Well, to save myself some sleep, i've just been putting her on the couch over the night. The couch has been her bed for the past month. I refuse to put her in bed with us cuz, I don't want her sleeping with us till she's 4 like my sisters have done with their kids. Am I a bad Mom for putting her on the couch??? Any ideas to keep her in the crib/bed?
One last question when have other Moms moved their child from the crib to the bed????
Hello Ladies,
I'd like to thank all of you for your time of responding to me. I've decided this weekend to put my foot down put, her in the crib and keep her in there no matter how many times I have to get up in the middle of the night. I have a feeling it's going to be tough but, I knew I had that coming. I've also decided that we will go bed shopping (once taxes come in) and buy her a big girl bed and put it on the floor. I think maybe she does like the couch because it is much softer than the crib bed. Again, thank you very much for all of your suggestions, comments and advise.
J.
Don't worry, my 4/o still doesn't sleep through the night. I have tried everything and have come to believe this is just how she is. Did you breastfeed? Maybe she still is in that pattern of sleep/wake. It is hard for me to not sleep through the night but is doesn't seem to bother her! How many naps does she take and how long? Good luck!
Of course your not a bad mom! We moved our daughter right around 2 years old from her crib to the toddler bed. It went very well. We didn't have to use rails, it's low to the ground and has somewhat of a lip and she took to it great. We did make a big deal to her though. She helped us remove the railing, put on new big girl sheets and comforter, got her own pillow etc. We also spent a lot of time in her room for a few days letting her just play in it, get in, get out, and be comfortable with her new setting. Every child is different and she will get used to it, it's just going to take some time. I do think though that you have to get her off the couch. However, it's hard to break habits and her being there now for a month is definitely a habit for her. Create a new evening routine and know that the first 5-7 days are going to be difficult. At the end of your routine (bath, story, etc) very calmly put her in her bed and tell her this is where she sleeps and if she gets out of her bed you will put her back in. And do just that. It's going to be a long couple of nights but remain calm, do not scold or yell, just quietly lead her back to bed. It may be easier to start this for nap time and have it lead to bed time but I wouldn't put it off much longer. Eventually she will learn that you are not going to back down and hopefully she'll give up the fight and learn to love her new big girl status. Good luck!
Our three year old is going through this, I think that the mattress is no longer comfortable. We are going to move her to a twin bed here shortly. If you are concerned about falling off of a twin size, start with just a mattress on her bedroom floor. Sleeping on the couch is a bad habit, you are NOT a bad mom!! Just get her into her own bed, the sooner you do the less trouble she'll have adjusting. Some of us just aren't cut out for sleeping of firmer beds :P Good luck!
You're not a bad mom. But if it annoys you to put her on the couch then you should break her of the habit. Basically, in my book ANY sleeping arrangement is fine AS LONG AS YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE HAPPY WITH IT. This includes co-sleeping etc etc.
Ok so if you're annoyed with the couch thing, it's probably going to require 1-2 nights of you standing your ground and her having a fit and then it will all be better. Clearly she associates the couch with sleeping, so it's a question of changing this so that she associates her BED with sleeping instead. (I just did this with my 20-month old son, who didn't want to fall asleep in his big boy bed without seeing me standing in the doorway. I was AMAZED at how fast it worked.)
If you want to "fix" this, I suggest putting a gate on her doorway and, if she wakes up in the middle of the night and yells for you, tell her it's time for sleeping and put her back in bed. Repeat every 10 minutes until she falls back asleep. The first night it may take up to 2 hours (ugh... I know!) before she gives up. (My son actually fell asleep at the gate the first night). But the second night it will probably only take 1-2 tries. By the third night she'll probably not even get up.
What about using a real bed, not a toddler bed? Those crib mattresses are not the most comfy in the world, and just taking the side down may not be enough of a change for her....maybe needs more space or a softer bed.
And FYI...not all kids who co sleep are going to sleep in their parents bed forever. We did it with my son for part of the night and then eventually he just started sleeping through and not coming to our bed anymore. When he was about 2 we took down the crib and put up a regular twin bed..put it on the floor with a bolster pillow on the side and he did great with it and was sooo excited to have a "big boy bed".
No, you aren't a bad Mom! We all make choices that we question. My youngest son spent a LOT of nights in the swing when he was about 2 months old. He was just so happy and would sleep in there so long. We asked the DR about it and he said it wasn't bad for the baby, but a bad habit to get into. So, we changed it...for the most part ;)
Our older son was moved to a big boy bed at about 28 months. He was a great sleeper and not a climber, so we left him in his crib until then. We just decided that it was time for a big boy bed.
I think you just need to break the couch habit. Put your daughter to bed and whenever she gets out, silently put her back in. We did this with our son for the first three nights. It took about 45 minutes the first night and went down after that. Then, he was fine and still is (he's about 32 months). But, the key for us was to NOT let him win. My husband and I took turns and just kept putting him back in bed. Yea, it was a game at times. Yea, he cried at times. Yea, he threw his teddy's and pillow on the floor. But, we stuck to it.
We've never let our son in our bed to sleep. We've let him come in and put Blues Clues or Thomas on the TV. We've cuddled with him and his baby brother on our bed. We've even played with him on the bed. In all honesty, he's never slept anywhere except the car seat and his own bed (or his pack and play).
I think if you try to move her back to her bed and stick with it, you will be successful. It may take a few days and some dedication, but I think it will work.
Good luck!
EDITED TO ADD: You know, I want to say that I agree with Karen. Whatever works for you and your husband is the best method. I mentioned that we don't let our son in our bed because that's what my husband and I agree on. I'm all for co-sleeping if that's what works best in your house. I'm all for sleeping in your kids room on the floor if it works (I've done it before).
Heck no you're NOT a bad mom! But, I will tell you that you ARE teaching her bad habits. You teach your kids how to sleep, eat, and act. So keep that in mind when you're deciding what's working out the easiest and best for mom, and instead, think about what will work the best for the little one. Kids have to be broken of bad habits, which is not fun, so the more you can prevent from being established in the first place, the better!
Don't think your a bad mom! Your are doing what you think is best. I am at a lost for why your daughter likes to sleep on the couch. Does your daughter share a room with anyone? Is it loud by her room? Is it too hot or cold in there?
I moved my daughter to her 'big girl' bed when she was about 18 monthes. It was techinally July 3rd, but we were declaring our indepence from the crib! I had read that you make a great big deal about it. So she picked out her crib from 3 I selected at Wal-Mart. We went over to Babies R Us to find some non commerical sheets. She really didn't seem interested in it. So I picked out some big girl sheets. Long story short it took her about a week to get use to the big girl bed. I would stay in the room and lay on the floor around naptime to make sure she wouldn't get up and run around. She is a really good big girl bed sleeper now. Which is good cause I found out a month later that I was pregnant, and what I have read about babies, the earlier you can detach them from the crib (that is if you are using it for another) the less resentment they'll have for thier sibling using "their" crib.
If you are interested I could recommend some great books to read. Cause I was also totally clueless about sleeping and eating.
Does she have a nightlight? Does she want a snack? Is she too wet? Then try to give her less liquid at night? Do you take her straight from her bed to the couch?
There are several variables to this. Try to reassure her in her bed and leave her in her bed if that is where you want her to sleep. Maybe give her a stuff animal that she likes and tell her that animal will watch over her the rest of the night.
I do not have a good suggestion for you. My daughter is 17 months old and is doing the same thing, although she has never slept all night. She has been waking at about 4 every night for what seems like forever. I take her into bed with us and she usually sleeps until 7. Last night was the first morning where she woke at 4, I gave her her pacifier and she turned over in her crib and went back to sleep, I was so excited! Of course my husband had to go into work early and him moving around woke her at 5:15 and then I couldn't get her back to sleep. In the end I would have been better off with her in bed with me.
I think you have to do what you have to do. She isn't going to want to sleep on the couch forever. If it is getting you a few more hours sleep, I say go for it. You are not a bad mom at all.
Good Luck,
D.
A few things you might want to think about.
What could be the reasons for her liking the couch?
My first thought is that maybe something is waking her at that time...could be a break in her natural sleep cycle....if the house is just a little cold, the sheets will be cold. Maybe you could try flannel sheets (that helped with my kids).
She could be teething, scared and for some reason the couch seems more comforting. Does she use a blanket, or a pillow?
Hey J.,
When my teenagers were toddler/preschool age, they would get up at some point EVERY night and go to our recliners, then fall back asleep. If we put them back in bed, they just got back up and went back to the chairs. Guess what? They are perfectly well adjusted teens who now go to sleep in their own and stay in their own beds all night long!
My guess is that she is probably wetting her diaper at about that time every morning, and that's what's waking her.
As far as moving kids from cribs to toddler beds, with our older two they were around two years old. Our youngest, who is now three and a half, was out of the crib at about 18-20 months, only because she woke up every morning with limbs hanging out of the crib. We put her in a toddler bed, which she managed to fall out of, even with a rail... she really moves when she sleeps! So we went to a twin, which she also fell out of, and finally to a full size bed... all within a month.
You are certainly not a bad mom. I've learned that when us moms are desperate for sleep, we will do ANYTHING (almost). Ha,ha! I have 2 boys, 15 months apart. We moved our oldest to a mattress on the floor when he was 18 months, only because we had to. He did well, but sometimes would get out of his bed randomly at inappropriate times. One thing we did was put a gate across his doorway. There were several times when I went to get him from his nap or in the mornings when he was laying on the floor with books, etc. Anyhow, that seemed to work for us! Good luck!
No, you aren't a bad mom. Heck, we just got our twins to nap in crib and not in swing. I think maybe 18 months is a little young to not be in a crib with 4 walls but that's just my personal opinion... whatever works for your family is what to do. Your daughter may just be going through a phase... I hear a lot about older children who go through a phase like this. While easier said than done, it seems like the best thing is to break her of couch habit. When she gets up, although it's troubling for mom and dad, is just to walk her back to her room, not saying a word and put her down. If she does this 5 times, continue to do it. This way too she learns that "hey, I wake up early. they are putting me back into bed and not couch. maybe i should try and sleep here again". Good luck... sleeping & eating is so hard with kids!
:)
