1St Grader Not Paying Attention

Since he does pay attention sometimes, a seat up front seems like a logical step to take. Otherwise, this is something you need to do in collaboration with the teacher, and she must do most of it. You're the cheering section.

I wonder what he's thinking about when he's distracted, don't you?

He is normal but being forced to do something (school) that doesn't fit with his needs. Little boys were meant to play and explore. Most schools don't allow this to any great extent and that's hard on kids, especially boys with extra energy.
Sadly there are no easy answers.

Maybe the teacher can reward him for good behavior by allowing him to sit separately....it would help limit his distraction of or by others.

You mention testing for ADHD but nothing you posted says "Hyperactivity" so I have to assume you me ADD (same but without the hyperactivity). Most people use them interchangeably but they are not quite the same.

I am SO TIRED of very NORMAL kids being tested for ADHD, or parents worrying about it.

I've been working with kids for 23 years. Let me tell you, it's NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL for first graders to NOT pay attention.

We have to remember that when you put a bunch of first graders together, you're going to get some that are younger and some that are older. As you know, six months can make a big difference in the development of a child, especially when they are young. Some children are going to be ahead of others socially and/or mentally. Some will be better at paying attention than others.

A first grader's attention span is still only 7-8 minutes long. Expect that.

What you can do at home is to go over with your son what "paying attention" means. It means, both feet on the floor, hands on the desk, eyes on the teacher, ears listening. You could have him practice that at home. Be the teacher and then have him show you that he's paying attention. The way I did it is I hid some pieces of candy in the room. My daughter had to show me that she was paying attention and I would wait until she was. Then I would give her instructions on where to find the candy, which she would have to first listen to, then repeat back. THEN she could go find the candy. My daughter LOVED this game! When she got better at it, I'd give her some instructions on what to do before she got the final instructions to get the candy, such as jump up and down 3 times or draw a circle and a square on the paper.

You can also re-iterate to your son that if the teacher is talking, he should NOT be talking and his eyes should be on the teacher instead of his classmates.

Your son's teacher will be working on paying attention in class. I'm sure your son is just fine, he's a NORMAL first grader, and school just started! Give him some time to mature!

It seems totally NORMAL to me. Your kid is adjusting to a new situation. Kindergarten is all fun, and First grade is more work: more concentration, more rules, more accountability, more independence, wow,,,,it is a huge difference!. Please, do not let people "suggest" you to have your child evaluated for any syndrome, adhd or another different "brain wiring" stuff. It is nothing wrong with it, and that happens but not at the rate is happening in which 50% of a Kindergarten or First Grade class have behavioral problems.
At this age, children want to make friends, socialize, etc!!! Also, if they are hungry or sleepy they get distracted, so try to keep a nice and easy routine for your kid with meals, healthy snacks and good sleep; exercise and outdoor activities are great too!.
One thing that helps a lot is giving your kid lots of activities to do INDEPENDENTLY, and play at taking turns, listening to mom's when she speaks, etc. Practice is important, practice with him and play school at home for 10 minutes.
One more thing, you still have the right to talk to the teacher and ask her nicely what plan comes to her mind to help your child to succeed in class and how you can reinforce it at home. Keep the communication open, and whenever you can, go and check on your kid, seat in the class without him noticing if it is possible.
Do not worry, and take it easy
A.:)

How much exercise does your child get? I have a VERY hard time, even as an adult, sitting still for hours if my body is not used. My mind gets jumbled with all the pent up energy (I absolutely do not have ADD or ADHD.) He is probably better at home, because he is not at home for long. During the week, he is at home for only a few short hours, and little of that probably involves sitting still and doing work. On the weekends, I'm sure you're pretty busy like most people. Again, no sitting still for long periods and having to follow many directions during that time.

Do you send him outside when he gets home? Does he participate in any team or individual sports? Run him ragged a few nights, and see how he does the next day. School is NOT set up to release energy. Gym is usually a joke, and typically not every day. Recess is not adequate. If your child is an active child, school can be a nightmare for him. Since it's such an easy thing to do, REALLY burn his energy a few nights in a row. Also, send him to school after a good breakfast with plenty of protein.

Ok, since the ADHD train is pulling into the question station, I'd just like to point out ( as a mom of a boy) that SITTING STILL and PAYING ATTENTION for hours on end cones a wee bit harder to boys than girls.
Just keep teaching the importance of listening, keep in touch with the teacher and I'll just bet that it gets better as the school year progresses.
First grade is a big change and it's an entirely different ballgame!
Good luck!

Really G., I think this is mostly a maturity thing. For example, my daughter plays hockey, goalie position. My husband really wanted this for her, but she was 6/7 years old. The rest of the team are skating and chasing a puck, while she stood there and waited for the puck to come to her. Eventually, she did what we called counting lights or star gazing. We would watch her start looking up at the roof of the rink. Eventually, the puck would come up and whiz right by her. I guess about half way through the season, she began to keep her eyes off the lights and watch for the puck.

My husband really wanted her to play on the travel team here, however, I wasn't seeing it. I took her to a 5 day goalie camp. She worked from 9 - 4 for 5 days. When the goalie coach worked with her, she did exactly what he said and did very well, per the coach. As soon as he rotated to the next player, she didn't do it.

I came home and made the decision she was not mature enough for the travel team. With this, we were able to switch her team, as I didn't think the team she was on was the right team for her either. I realize you don't really have the same ability to switch classes.

She hasn't played a game with her new team, but she has been to about 5 practices, both private and team. My husband says she is working really hard and doing really well. The coach has made comments as well and one of the other coaches has taken notice of her. Monday she went in for her second assessment and my husband said she was sleeping on the ice (not paying attention). I asked why she fell asleep on the ice and she said she was tired and went to bed late. Yesterday she went to her private lesson and she came home and she told me she did really good. I asked why this was better than Monday and she said she got more rest. Okay (self), take note of what she says.

A little school background, she is a pretty good student, but not a straight A student. I think she has the ability if she applies herself, but I just haven't gotten that out of her yet. She is a mirror reader & writer, so reading and writing can be a challenge for her. She started Kumon at the end of last year to help with the reading and that has helped a great amount.

At the start of the school year, we watched a David Blaine series. She asked how he does that and I told her he does a lot of his work with his mind...I don't really get it myself. I told her I thought his story was that he was a poor little boy and he started with one deck of cards and learned to do some tricks and set his mind to focus on his magic. She thought that was cool and I told her that we can all focus our minds on what we like to do best and make things happen for ourselves, as no one can give us anything, they can only help us. I told her, this can work with hockey and with school.

So far, 2 weeks into school, she has been tested in all subjects and she has a 3.0 in each subject, per the website. Her goalie coach says she is really good. One of her private lessons on the synthetic ice, he says he took 300 shots at her and she blocked most of them. That is a great improvement from the kid who was star gazing last year. The last practice she had, she had 3 shooters on her at once for the entire practice and she did very well, per my husband and per the coach. My husband said the coach told him it was like she was hungry for the shots.

Anyway, back to your situation. I suggest you support the teacher and him as well. Talk to him about his day, even if you have to pry it out of him. I mean, if you ask what he learned today and he says math, ask him what he learned in math, was it counting, adding, shapes, or what. Make him talk about it.

As you realize this could just be a maturity issue, keep an open mind to the amount of rest he gets, proper diet and breakfast, sugar intake, processed food intake, lazy eyes, lazy eyes when he is tired (week eye muscles), and personal needs.

I already mentioned my daughters own admission to not getting enough sleep. Along with her improvements, when I had her in hockey camp, we were out of town. I don't think I fed her any processed foods at all. My husband likes to give her jarred cheese, squirt out of the can cheese, McD's, candy, and a bunch of other junk. I have even caught him giving her dip stix colored sugar junk before the game. I am certain he got this from that TV show that gives their little girls the gogo juice before they go on stage. That method is one quick disaster. I have read a lot about processed foods making you sleepy. As well, food has always been known to give you energy, but some articles said not to feed her before practice because you are sleepy during digestion. Well, she had energy all day long at camp and she ate a nice balanced lunch of protein, carbs, and fruit. As well, I fed her an egg every morning for breakfast. So far, my husband has realized that her diet is important. I also mention lazy eyes. My older daughter got into a lot of trouble in 2nd grade for her lack of attention and sloppiness. The teacher pointed out that she had the ability to turn in nice papers, but sometimes wrote across the page, falling off the lines. As it turned out she had a lazy eye and we did eye therapy to correct it. That took care of A LOT of our problems. As for his personal needs, my daughter is very active. She likes to exercise every day. If she doesn't ice skate that day, she asks to go for a walk or if she can get on the elliptical. I have had some people tell me she is in a lot of activities, but like i said, if she doesn't ice skate, she asks me to take her for a walk.

Enjoy him as you watch him grow and mature. All of you will have his personal needs figured out in no time.

Best wishes.

Our school psychiatrist said that kids should be able to concentrate in spans of 1 minute for every year of their age at a time. So, you (or the teacher) should expect to be able to get 6 good minutes of focus out of him at a time. Anything longer than that really isn't going to happen. That's why teachers really need to change up their routines and keep it flowing. Now my DD has inattentive ADHD and she was diagnosed at 6. She could not pay attention for more than 30 seconds at a time for most things (ADHDers are also able to hyperfocus-she can play video games for HOURS). It was VERY obvious once she hit 1st grade that there was an issue.

Also re: desk configuration-my DD is in 4th and they are stol in groups of 4. He'll have to get used to it! You may want to ask him to be moved closer to the teacher.

Your son is still learning how to be part of a group. I had this same problem with my GD - if the teacher wasn't speaking directly to her, she wasn't paying attention. It's just learning how to be part of a group and maturity. There is no reason to test your son for ADHD or anything else - he sounds completely normal for a 1st grader.

You could work on his listening skills by sitting back to back with him and talking to him. Ask questions, give directions, etc. Hearing and listening are two different things. Like anything else, practice will help.

Please take ADHD testing and diagnoses with a grain of S. - it is a quick and easy fix for problems that aren't always there. Some kids are naturally more distractible, especially gifted kids whose minds are on other things or are bored or social and kinesthetic learners who are expected to sit still in their seats. Nowadays, many kids are "diagnosed" and medicated without a proper work up and without actually needing medicine. And the medicine is not without side effects or consequences. If you do choose to pursue ADHD as potential issue, do a lot of research and reading before agreeing to medicate.

Hi G.,

I haven't read any of the other responses, but will just tell you what I've noticed about my own little distracted boy (6 y.o.).

At school, I do let the teacher help him with guidance in the way she deems fit. Last year, he had a great Kindergarten teacher who would have him stay in from recess to finish tasks he was choosing not to attend to. Not in a punitive way, but just "oh, well I see that you didn't get this done, so work on it now and you may go out when you are finished"...very graceful, and with the other kids outside, social distractions were limited.

At home we have a 'blue dot chart' (I've written about this before) where we record blue dots for behaviors we are trying to cultivate. Right now, cooperation/follow-through/cheerful attitude are what we focus on. So, anytime we give a direction and he does it IMMEDIATELY without further prompting, we award a few blue dots. "Wow, you got your clothes on and your bed made without any reminders! Good for you! Three blue dots!" (we are working on having him complete two-part directions at this point.)-- In any case, when we hit 100 blue dots, we get to do something fun as a family like the nickel arcade, he gets to choose a dvd, a fun outing... nothing expensive and no toys, etc. You could do it as a family thing if need be, praising and charting all the kids successes... they might really enjoy it. :)

And yes, I do think this will get better as he matures. The K teacher reassured me of this several times. In preschool he was seriously on another planet most of the time, only halfway participating in circle group activities and often needing reminding to cue in to what everyone else was doing. All that to say, it does get better, it just takes time.

(and a side note, our son has a 504 plan for a vision disabilty --ocular motor dysfunction-- and part of the plan is that he is placed near where the teacher does most of her instruction. The suggestions that he be moved closer to the teacher are correct. This can really help some kids.And some kids who present with 'attention-deficit' like symptoms actually have vision issues. Discovering this for us was a long process, nearly a year, and started with evaluations for non-verbal speech disorders which were requested by the preschool teachers. I'm not saying this is exactly your case-- just food for thought.)

Keep in mind that he may not be ABLE to pay attention if he has an executive function issue or other deficits. Since you say you struggle with this at home as well, it may be something that is not something he can control. Telling me to "squint harder" when I really need glasses to see does not help me, and telling him to concentrate when perhaps he can not, does not help him. You can write a letter to the principal and request a full evaluation detailing his Kindergarten and 1st grade teachers comments and your experience at home. By law (in our state of Massachusetts anyway) they are required to respond within 30 or 45 school days with results. He will be pulled out of class and evaluated using games. Then they will call a meeting to determine eligibility for special ed intervention. In our experience (our daughter is dyslexic) they always find some medical reason why the issue exists so it is no longer an educational responsibility. You could first go see your pediatrician since there is a questionnaire that evaluates AD(H)D and perhaps (s)he will have good insights into other possible causes. Good luck.

I just wanted to add that my daughters 1st grade teacher just told me that one of 1st grades main focus is about teaching focus and attention. (This was after I jokingly expressed my concern of my daughters lack of attention at times.)

So...its normal at this age still for them to be learning on how to hold attention. Especially as its still just the beginning of the year.

Secondly, I wanted to say my nephew had a hard time focusing and also keeping things organized. It was found out that he needed some medication for ADD but also was not diagnosed with this until 2nd grade.(ETA: Actually now that I think about it, it may have been 3rd grade) Within a month of taking his meds...he did a complete turn around. He's now in 5th grade and still continues to take meds when needed during the school week and school year. He is not required to take them on the weekends or summer. He is a great kid...just needed a little help focusing.

This is a basic, simple suggestion, but at this age, some kids really need a desk in the front row, ideally front and center, so their attention is more naturally drawn to the teacher. Some teachers also give high-energy, easily distracted kids "helper" jobs, as a way to keep them on task.

I teach in first grade a lot. When we have a student (there are many, so you are not alone) who falls behind direction, getting work completed, etc they do not go to recess because they are "using their recess time in class". They go to work completion with the teacher on duty for WC during recess and if they finish, that's great.. they join everyone at recess. This is a huge incentive for many children to finish their work in a timely manner.

There are a few who are in WC daily because they are just slow workers and I have a couple of girls who don't like recess and they make sure they have recess work. We have to watch for that excuse as well.

That said, if there is an issue at home as well, you might have him checked for hearing and sight to make sure he is ok in that regard.

For some who are way off target... we have a reward system. We have a special paper that goes in the take home folder which has simple details if he/she completed work for the day with a smiley face or star.. the parent signs the paper. THEN, if the child brings the paper back signed AND had a certain number of smileys or stars, they go to a treasure box (small trinket of some sort) from the teacher at the end of the week. A lot of parents also work with the child and will reward at home for so many smileys or stars. IF there are frowny faces... then points are taken away from the weekly reward.

ALL that said, you child is still adjusting to 1st grade and it is an adjustment from K. There is more instruction, more work in the classroom, weekly spelling test, and homework is introduced... once a week.

Best wishes.

Hi mom! This does sound somewhat normal, but it will need to work itself out if your son is to be successful in school in the longterm. Obviously, ADD could be part of the issue, but a kid's personality can come into play, and I agree that it is the teacher's job to keep him on task at school, not yours. If she is a good teacher, she will find a way to help him want to keep up with the class, rather than fuss at him all day long. Something as simple as a specific "cue" from her or touching him on the shoulder, rather than shaming him in front of the other children, should be part of dealing with this issue.

I would go ahead and have a meeting with the guidance counselor, if I were you. Tell her what is going on and ask her if she would come into the classroom and observe your son. It's one thing to just talk to the teacher. It's another thing to involve the guidance counselor. The reason I recommend this is because if your son continues to have an attention problem, she needs to be involved from the get-go so that she is on board with not only helping the teacher with ideas of how to help him, but also picking next year's teacher for your son. The right fit of teacher is essential to helping make a child with issues of some sort be successful. Having her as your ally and partner in helping your child will make life so much easier.

Regarding your son at home, I would also start to institute some changes. For example, for things that he loves to do or have, tie a "job" to them. For example, let's say he likes a certain TV show. Have a chart and show him what his jobs are on the chart. Dressing, brushing teeth, picking up his toys, etc, when you tell him to the first time. No having you sitting in there watching him. When he does his jobs like you ask in the morning before school, you put a star on the chart and he can watch his favorite show after he comes home from school. THEN he does his homework before playing, and you CAN sit down with him and help him with that. What you don't want to do is leave him on his own for everything. Eventually, get him on a token economy system where he earns privileges with good listening behaviors. I wouldn't go out more than 3 days, though. A whole week might be too hard for him to master.

It is very common for lower grade elementary teachers to group the kids like his teacher is doing. They also move the kids around within different groups from time to time in order to help the kids get to know each other, and to see what the best class dynamics are. Your son has little kid expectations, and it's important to tell him that the teacher is choosing the best way to work with the class. It's good that he tells you how he feels, but at some point, he needs to get with the program and you will have to tell him that the work that the class will be doing is BIG KID work and if he doesn't listen, he will fall behind. The desks don't make it kindergarten work - listening like a big boy is first grade work.

First grade is HARD. It's an important year. Kinder is more about learning how school works, getting used to working rather than playing, and being ready academically to go to first grade. By Christmas, your son will be expected to have mastered a lot and he just has no idea of that now and is just focusing on the desks...

You'll get through this, but I do think that you need to look a little farther in the future while you're getting through it. I volunteered in the classrooms of both my kids, got to know parents from grades above me to find out what those teachers were like, and worked with the guidance counselors to help determine which teachers would NOT be good fits for my kids' temperments and learning styles. I only had 2 teachers out of all my kids' elementary years that weren't a good fit for them - I learned to do this after the first bad fit. A good guidance counselor will do their best to help with this so that it helps both the child AND the teacher.

Hope this helps.

Teenmom has a good point. I will not re-read. (Edit-re-write not, re-read).

Also, My son is in first grade and the desks are clustered together. I do not even think the teacher has a desk (at least not one that she sits at during class that i have noticed). The teacher walks around the desks helping. The kids are called to the carpet to sit on a carpet circle to do some classroom activities. The teacher also moves around the carpet. There no longer seems to be the front. Maybe because the past 50 years all parents want their children in the front.

I happen to not agree that this is the schools problem and not yours or your sons (as some have posted). I would do extra activities at home if I knew what to do. I'm in the camp of working with his teacher. In kindergarten my son's teacher suggested I practice on 2 step directions (he did not follow them very well). I didn't realize he had this issue until she pointed it out. Sure I could have said you deal with it, yet i want my son to succeed. Something as simple as go put your shoes on the rack and bring a book to the table. Them add more steps.

What is the teacher doing now to help him? When I worked in first grade we had a few kids who were ALWAYS placed at the front of the class, AND they were placed with kids they were less likely to be chatty/silly with. We also had desks grouped together in groups of four. 1st graders do quite a bit of group work, so having the desks in rows doesn't really work.
In rare cases a child might be moved right up to the teacher's desk, alone and away from a table group, but that was always a last resort (like I said, they do a lot of group work, and kids hate feeling isolated.)
I say meet with the teacher and see what the plans and expectations are. At this age some kids just need some time to mature. I wouldn't cry "ADD/HD" right away, but I would keep it in mind, especially if he continues having a hard time focusing in 2nd/3rd grade.
I was a chatty kid, wiggly, silly, got up and down a lot, etc. but I grew out of it by the time I was about 8. My daughter was the same way. I assumed she was like me but she never did "grow out of it." She was officially diagnosed ADHD at the beginning of 5th grade and is doing SO much better now with the extra support she receives.

This really sounds very normal. The teacher may move him closer to her to help him pay attention. She may also decide to seat him with kids he is less likely to be chatty with.

The distracted thing also sounds fine. Mine is 7-1/2 and when I told him to get dressed this morning, he got through his underwear shirt and shorts and then I found him sitting on the floor playing. DS - what about your socks and shoes? He actually said - oh, I forgot, I got distracted.

It sounds like he may be add/ADHD I would get in evaluated with a physiologist to see if he is. Will not hurt at all.

Our son has been diagnosed with ADHD (after an exhaustive process, one which we are constantly re-evaluating) and every counselor, doctor and therapist has explained that ADD and ADHD are on the same continuum.

I agree that your son's in-school behavior does not sound unusual or alarming. One of the reasons we switched schools after kindergarten was because his original school was pushing us hard to "solve" the "problem" of his in-school behaviors. There are thousands of good reasons for children, especially boys, to have difficulty sitting still and focusing on schoolwork for hours on end, especially during the first seven years. Our diagnostician was emphatic that in almost all cases, any ADHD diagnosis prior to age seven is almost certainly premature.

That said, I suggest creating a system that rewards him at home for good behaviors at school. I created a daily behavior report card sheet that his teacher filled out and sent home (and yes, you can ask this, and engage the principal if the teacher resists). It should be simple - at most five categories. Depending upon how well he did, he earned "screen time," which includes video games and television. The reward should be your child's favorite leisure time activity, and bonus points if it's something you'd like to limit!

The additional advantage of this system is that if you save the behavior sheets, and eventually decide to get a diagnosis, you'll have a ton of data for the doctor to review.

Finally, I share a piece of advice a friend gave me. If you go for a diagnosis, try to find someone who doesn't treat, but only diagnoses. A lot of centers for diagnosis and treatment of ADHD kids see each child as a potential income stream. You want to trust that diagnosis, because you'll be basing a lot of future decisions on it.

Good luck!

I truly feel the teacher needs to be the one to address this. If you continue to take away her authority and get involved in this he'll never pay attention to the teacher. You take away her role at school when you do this. Talking to him about what happened at school isn't bad, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that bringing it home instead of keeping it at school doesn't really work in the long run.

Tell the teacher to try whatever she needs to so she can figure out how to do this.

If he's having trouble staying focused at school AND at home, that's a huge red flag for ADHD-inattentive type. ADHD is a 24/7 problem. I would ask the pediatrician for a referral to a specialist like a child psychiatrist, who can evaluate him.

Your son may not be able to control this problem. It's worth at least ruling out a medical reason for his problems.

ETA: Don't let naysayers disuade you from getting the evaluation. There isn't anything remotely easy about ADHD and/or medication. It's quite serious and no one will take it lightly. An assessment can tell you whether it's ADHD or not, helping you to better target your strategies with him. I'm sick and tired of people minimalizing this condition so much that parents hesitate to help their kids. You can't imagine how many people without medical degrees who deemed our son "totally normal" when he was a neon sign for extreme ADHD-combined type.

Let the shcool deal. It is her job to figure out how to capitvate thier attn. If she provide a consequence that carries home, back her/him up. Let the shcool deal.

ETA- He sounds normal, why is everyone wanting to put a name to NORMAL. The teacher can deal. practice at home.. ..Practivce make perfect.. Did you know that true listening- is something that a lot of adults do not know how to do?

You tell the teacher whatever you want or need for your child. If he needs a separate desk then ask for it. I would look into yeast issues. When ever my son can focus we give him difkucan and his attention is back. He still has some following two step direction issues but in the meds it's a different kid. U have to prove to the drs he has yeast and that it works is the only problem. You also can have him tested by the school and a neuropsych evaluation. You also can tell them to start the RTI process where they collect data on him every six weeks I now to help and give your child accommodations that will help this. With RTI they will get a professional in to help him and if they cant it will show on the data w dry six weeks until they can help or what they trying is t working and they need to try something else. They get three chances to help him and usually it works! If not then you ask for IEP.