Ok ladies I have a problem. My youngest has a facination with taking butter, eggs, milk, and even mayo out of the fridge covering herself with it and rolling on the floor. I have tried 3 diffrent locks on my fridge, but she always finds a way to get into the fridge and grab something to play with. My 5 year old knows how to unlock the fridge and always forgets to put the lock back onto it. I dont want to have to put a pad lock on my fridge, but I am almost to that point.
just this week she has covered my whole bathroom and couch with butter ( butter is sooo hard to get out of a couch).
She always says she is sorry, and acts like she feels bad, but then when I turn my back she will be right back into the fridge. I am just beyound myself and just do not know what I can do.
I want to thank everyone who took the time to give me some great advice. And I have to agree than when I sit back and re read my post I too can just sit back and laugh......
I took all the information and have been using diffrent things to see what works best.. (I still havent done the Jello in the tube yet... thinking I may try that in the summer time. OUTSIDE. LOL)
I have been doing the lotion idea where she has her own small container of lotion and can use it when she likes. It seems to be helping lot. We have only had one food instance since my posting.
I will keep it up.
Thank you all sooo much..
B.,
Have you tried directing the play into an area that would be allowed??? Place a plastic pool in the garage or play area and tell her that is her food pool. Maybe being allowed to continue wrestling with butter will stop the want. If anything, it should keep the couch clean!!
Good luck,
T.
My daughter has sensory issues. She is always lathering herself with my lotions and creams... making a huge mess... and she's 11. This has been the norm for her entire life, though. Your daughter may love the feeling of those slimy itmes on her skin... Who doesn't love a great massage with oils?? I would try to find creative ways to encourage that tactile stimulation without ruining your house... Maybe start taking time daily to help her with applying an appropriate lotion liberally. My daughter especially loves after bath and just before bed. I don't do it for her, but I still supervise, otherwise she will use my expensive face creams to cover her whole body... ;-}. You may want to even keep her special bottle of lotion in the fridge. This will help it have the cooling effect on her skin. Does she have skin issues?? She may like the way it feels on her skin because of a dryness or sensitivity issue. If nothing else, talk to your pediatrician about it. I think it's harmless and you should definatley give her some attention with the purpose of helping her satisfy her need to be cold and creamy in an appropriate way... without having to plastic-coat your furniture. Hope this helps.
This is NOT saying you are a bad mom. You are just busy... But it sounds like to me that mommy is VERY busy and Elizabeth has found what works to get mommy's undivided attention... even if it isn't the "good" kind.
Things went a long way in my house when I impowered my kids to say "Mom, I need some extra love." I would drop whatever I was doing or tell them exactly when/what we could do...most of the time it was just 5 minutes. They needed a lot of extra love at first... but eventually it moved to when they got hurt or they were tired. I have never broken their trust, so they know they don't have to do anything "creative" to get my attention now.
Address it with her. She is smarter than you think.
I dont necessarily have any advice for how to lock your fridge, but if you have a way to baby gate her out of the kitcken, you should. Other than that, just try not to leave her out of your sight long enough to get into that much trouble.
It seems that she really likes sensory activities, and is maybe bored. Before leaving her alone, try to get her interested in something. If she has too many toys available, it may be too overwhelming for her to chose what to do. Try doing sensory activities with her to satisfy her curiosity. Make a cornstarch and water mixture for her to play with and set her and the bowl in the tub to avoid major mess. Let her paint the shower walls with shaving cream, let her fingerpaint, etc.
May be instead of wasting your time and effort to tell her "NO, NO" and making the "forbidden fruit" even more desirable, you might start saying "Yes" and tell her when, where and how she can play with it. May be the bath tub and substituting the mayo with lotion, buy few and make sure they are different colors, even different thickness. Put them in an empty butter boxes, mayo bottles and etc. You can ask her to help with the cleaning part, too. Very often they lose interest if the consequences are cleaning after your-self. Hope I was helpful. Good luck!
when my son was that age (1.5 years ago) he would smeer yogurt all over his face. or Creamy soups. It looked like he was discovering something so I just let him do it. It passed in time. now we have funny vidio of him sitting in his chair almost in meditation rubing food all over his face. It also sounds like she does need more time with you, or with your husband (if you have one). I like most of the responces below regarding this. maybe find something goopy or squishy stuff to play with toghether so she sees how to play with it.... the right place, the right time, the right way, In the right clothes (get her a smock or something) and how to clean up. make playdough together and play with her, try non toxic finger paining with her and expect a mess and then a bath, let her smeer things on you. just have fun. and remember you'll laugh about this latter.
You could even let her know that "we don't want to waste food, it is for puting in our bodies to grow, if we use it for playing we wont have it to use for growing." then show her what things are for playing.
and play!
Well I got up in a very bad mood today but I must say your post gave me a chuckle! Everyones advice for replacing the "butter & mayo" with lotion is a good idea I think but I think maybe buying her some "silky" (fake silk is fine and still soft) pj's and sheets if she is in a regular bed. Buy some very soft stuffed animals or a doll with a very soft dress. And maybe buy your self some very soft sweaters or pj's and she can sit on your lap and she could feel what your wearing and spend time with you at the same time. This way she will still be getting the soft "touch and feel" but deferring her from using food. Explain to her that food is for eating and if we waste all the food we will be very hungry and say feeling hungry isn't a very good feeling now is it? If all else fails fill the tub with jello and let her have a ball! LOL Good luck :-)
i knew someone who did a study of artists, to determine what they had in common in their childhood. it wasn't art classes or going to art museums or anything, it was parents who let them make a mess! i would guess a couple of things, she may be doing exactly what you don't want her to do in order to get some more attention from you - and/or she may just love to experiment with textures and flavors. so i'd give her lots of opportunity to do that (either with some of the foods and/or fingerpaints etc) in a controlled environment (and doing it with her would be even much better and maybe with your older daughter too!). my daughter and i had special food fights and invited all her friends - great fun! and otherwise keep the messy stuff out of her reach for now.
I feel for you and wasn't laughing. Try getting oatmeal, pudding and jello out of things. UGH. I would try bathtub paint, finger painting and scooping different size beans and dried pasta from one container to the next. For the fridge I would put the butter in a tighter sealed Tupperware that may be more difficult to open and keep the mayo on the top in the back with duct tape on the top. Have a stiffer consequence than a time out. I'm sure you've tried everything. I tell my son do you want to lose your horse or lighting McQueen? I'll take a favorite away for a day. Plus, I reward when he's doing it right. "You haven't opened the fridge all day you get to pick which sticker you want and I'll read you a book, etc. Good luck.
For your sanity, I would padlock the fridge, and you will have to just get things for your older daughter as well. Hopefully when your 2 yr. old realizes she can't get into the fridge anymore, she will lose interest, and then (probably closer to age 3) she should be able to follow instructions better. The only other thing I can think of would be to somehow barracade the entrance to the kitchen? I am sorry...what a pain, but you gotta keep your sanity somehow!!
She is at an age where she is still discovering feelings of textures. She must like that feeling and wants to explore it more. I think the lotion thing is a good idea to let her use it when she wants and maybe this will keep her out of the fridge. Body butter if it is safe for her, would be great. Don't you love that feel? Who hasn't loved the feel of slipping into a swimming pool or maybe you have thought of how much fun it would be to swim around in jello, huh? I think she just loves the feel. Find her something similar to experiment with.(in the tub)
i'm sorry i don't have any new advice for you but i have to tell you that your post made my day- what a fantastic visual!! i was cracking up- altho i'm sure it's wouldn't be nearly as funny if the butter was on my couch!!
i thought the oil/lotion in the tub were good ideas to try. and remember that 'it can always be worse'; my friend's daughter experimented with poop! she spread her own all over the crib, walls, window blinds, etc.- at least food products smell good!
good luck!
I can't help but feel that this is an attention thing. In reading your bio and seeing that you not only go to school full time (which is more than a full time job) and you work part time in a fairly stressful field and you consult on the side, I'm wondering how much time is left over for the family. Just by asking this question I know that you are an attentive good mom, but it looks to me like your little one wants more of you and this has gotten her a great response and has gotten her one on one attention with you each time. It is probably a sensory issue as well that is why she has chosen this particular avenue. I say try and find a place where you can cut back on your time away and purposfully spend that time with her and only her and you may see a difference.
Good luck, it's never easy trying to put it all together. I hope this helps at least a little.
has she ever been evaluated for sensory processing issues? My son has. He has not played the way your dtr has but has done other things that he "knows better" than to do. After 3 locks sounds like she is determined to do what ever it takes to get the sensation she is craving. feel free to contact me for more info.
It sounds to me that your youngest is in dire need of attention. She is call out for it! This is the way little ones communicate because their vocabulary is not quite up to the job. Im sure in your mind you spend "enough" time with the kids that they should be happy and satisfied but our version of time and their version of is very different. It sounds like its not enough for her. I applaud you for going to school and trying to better yourself but I would suggest cutting back on the classes until your kids are in school full time (kindergarden age).
This age is so presious and fleeting. Soak up as much toddler time as you can. You will miss it.
By the way you dont get mommy time until your kids are in college!
Wow.
My first response is, whatever your next lock is, don't let the 5 year old know how to work it.
Whether or not it made some sense to let her have access to the fridge (it doesn't make sense in our family, because our fridge is So Full that noone except me can safely remove things :P ... I hope to acquire a second fridge soon), it doesn't anymore. If she was 'big girl' enough to have access to juice or whatever, she has lost that privilege by not keeping the fridge _shut_--and she MUST know(!) that she has been part of this enormous problem! Five is TOTALLY old enough to understand that and to have (VERY) logical consequences applied: you don't close the fridge, so you don't get to have access. Period.
Oh, I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
Do talk to a doctor, or hopefully someone here will have good advice on fulfilling whatever is the need your three year old has, _without_ doing it the way your three-year-old has discovered herself :(! More baths, with some safe-for-babies bath oil, is the only thing that occurs to me ... redirecting her to an "acceptable' form of the activity, until she grows out of it or you figure out something that is causing her to do it and change the cause ...
God bless, and good luck!
I'm sorry - I laughed about the buttered couch. But it wasn't AT you; I found myself momentarily overcome with the exasperation I'm sure I'd feel if that happened at my house...:o
I wish I had some more creative advice, but your daughter is 2 1/2 and the problem won't go away overnight. I think the padlock may be your best option - it's probably what I would do.
Best of luck! I really am sorry to hear about that couch.
(I did just have one thought - whatever the offending food item is at the time, maybe you could punish her by not allowing her to have it for a couple of days? Like after the couch incident, no butter for a week? This may be completely pointless with a child so young, but it's an idea!)
While I agree with the other responses, maybe start with something like giving her her own little bottle of baby lotion (trial size) and tell her she can put that on herself and remind her that things in the fridge don't belong on our bodies (maybe it can make her sick...??). Tell her if she puts anything from the fridge on her again, then you'll take the lotion bottle away. If she chooses not to listen, then the lotion gets taken away followed by a time-out. I have a 3 year also and they do understand time-outs. It does sound like a sensory thing but sometimes those are best treated by replacing with things they can use. Good luck :)
B.,
I don't have any great advise for you but I wanted to let you know that I laughed so hard when I read your post. I can just imagine your little darling slithering all over the floor covered in mayo. It does sound kinda fun, doesn't it?? Aren't kids great:) Good luck!!
