2 1/2 Year Old Son Had Begun to Prefer Me over Husband

Hi K.,

I've been having similar "issues" with my 3 year old over the past six months. My pediatrician said my son was displaying separation anxiety which sounds like your son might be also (he becomes anxious when he is separated from you - even if he is in the same room as you and your husband and he's not included in the conversation or activity does he "act out"?) - I would let your pediatrician know and I would look into a parenting class -- something you and your husband can take together. The best advice for you and your husband is to not become anxious or mad when your son "acts out" (because that will only make your son more anxious) - speak to him in a kind yet firm manner and at his eye level when he "breaks a rule" ... such as not staying in his room at bedtime. Hope this helps

When we had this problem with our daughter I would take off whatever shirt I had worn all day and let her take it to bed with her. This helped her alot and still makes her feel better if she has a bad night. She is now 6 1/2 years old. I was a stay at home Mom when she was younger as well and this helped Daddy be more involved because she still had Mommies scent close to her. Good Luck...

My son is 3.5 yrs and has been doing the same thing to my husband for a long time. Tell your husband its not him, its just something little boys go through and it will work itself out. I think my son favors me because I am the one who does most for him at no fault of my husbands. We have gotten to the point of making my son accept his daddy's help especially while I am there. He's worse if I leave the room and it takes him a couple of days to adjust when I am on a trip. It's good for them if you leave him alone with your husband but make it a quick, I love you, kiss him goodbye, tell him mommy's gotta go and I will be back in a little bit, then walk out even if he screams and cries for one more kiss or hug. Go away for a couple of hours. I won't lie, it's not easy. Hang in there.

K.,

I was a stay at home mom for 6 years till i got divorced. Both of my boys preferred me over their dad (still do)He ususally spent the evenings with both of them while I finished up chores (usually until bedtime) I do believe that he will grow out of that stage. I know that that is not much advise, but boys especially have such a strong bond with mom's. If you havent ever read the book "Raising Boys", you should! It gives great insight to the challenges ahead. I would just encourage him (your husband) to keep trying, and be patient. your son will come around. He (your son) will feel it if your husband seems tense around him! Good Luck!

K., sounds like you are trying some good tactics to getting the boys bonding. Don't give up yet-- sometimes change takes several attempts. Keep trying and include Dad as much as possible. Good luck!

My 3 yr old son does the same thing, in fact he will even say “I don’t like daddy”. What helps my husband is that when I have to go out of town for work, or when I am out of the house all together, shopping, doing something with my daughter, etc. he and my son get along great, and he never asks for me. So maybe you could try having girls night out, joining a gym or something to get out of the house before bed time once or twice a week so your son doesn’t have you as an option. He will probably take his daddy as a sub happily, and then your husband will know it is not him, it is really just a phase 2 1/2 – 3 yr old go though.