2 1/2 Year Old Won't Stop Hitting and Throwing Things

Hi, Maty i have a 2 year old as well he is 1 of 4 and does the exact same thing i think it is just the age and is very normal behavior.Anyone who has children knows that he is a typical 2 year old.As soon as he grows out of this he will start with sonmthing else.If there is anything else i could give advice on i would be happy to.

Our children went through the same thing and to this day (now 6 & 4 1/2) when a toy is used inappropriately it goes into a big bag with a sad face on it. In order to have the toy back they need to do something nice that is recognized by me. This way it promotes them getting along, working together to problem solving. I was once so upset with all of the arguing about who has what toy, etc. etc. I took 7 garbage bags, filled up all the toys and left them with 1 match box car each & 1 book and put the bags in the basement. I certainly had made my point and without raising my voice once..lol. Hope this helps. This too will pass but you certainly want to nip throwing in the bud.

We are going through exactly the same thing with our 26 month old. He's been hitting mama for a month and some, but now school has told us about it too. All sources, including his teachers assure us it is a phase and to hang in there.
Also, the consistent advice is to return the hits with love rather than punishment. We've found time-outs haven't been very effective either and some older parents told us they tried this with their first unsuccessfully too. With their second they talked with their boy, explained that it hurt them, that it isn't right, give a hug if you can get it in, etc. and the phase went far faster with that second child.
Kids at school tell him to stop because they don't like it. It works. His teachers encourage us to do the same since he knows exactly what that means.
I wish it were easier and we'd get through this stage quicker!
I think the phases our kids go through are a lot about us (the parents) instead. Sure, we are their emotional guidance counselors, but it comes down to how well we handle ourselves with our kids. I have been scrutinizing my own capacity for patiences and self-control these days, and I don't always score perfect marks. I work on it every day and appreciate that someone so little could show me how to be a better person.
Liked the toy-time-out idea too... think I'll employ that one at some point. Otherwise hang in there, your son loves you.

My oldest is almost 2 1/2 and he just started doing the same thing and we have yet to come up with an effective solution. I'll be curious to see what other responses you get! Wish I could help, but just wanted to let you know we're in EXACTLY the same boat!! He's super sweet and friendly, but LOVES to hit (sometimes its the couch or the wall or the table or us, or, unfortunately, his little brother - 3 months old) and thinks its funny. He also was into throwing everything, but we told him we don't throw inside the house, and the only thing we throw outside is a ball. That seems to have worked (and my husband and I stopped tossing things to each other from across the room for convenience, or tossing diapers into the trash pail from a few feet away... we didn't even realize we were doing that! :-)

Anyway, you're not alone!

Hang in there. I think most 2 year olds go through this phase at some time or another. Just keep being consistent in your discipline and he will eventually learn. As with all discipline with children, nothing ever works over night. You just must be very consistent and one day you will notice that he gets it.

My son is 26 months and he is doing the same exact thing. I have tried the same things you have to get him to stop and it just doesn't work. Let me know if you figure out what to do.

Both my boys developed issues like this at about that age. (My younger one is just two and is going through a pinching and scratching phase). We are consistant about stopping the behavior, which is really demanding for Mom. It's hard to stop everything every twenty minutes to redirect a willful child, but it works well for us. We also emphasize 'gentle touch' reinforcement. You take your child's hand and show how to gently touch you, or the cat, or another child, or even his toys.

I'm not a fan of time-outs, but I do use them occasionally. What works better for us is a time-in. I hold the offending child on my lap until he relaxes. Sometimes this is a huge struggle, and I never do it at the expense of my child's dignity. If he's unable to calm down, he goes to a short time-out to get control. Usually the attention from Mama calms them quickly. Then I explain that his behavior was a no-no, show him the gentle touch and ask him to repeat 'no scratching'. When he is in control of his body and the behavior pattern is broken, he goes to apologise to whomever he hurt.

We do, however use time-outs with toys. If a child uses a toy inappropriately, I remove it and explain that this toy is taking a time-out because it was helping to do a no-no.

I LOVE the idea of removing toys that the prior poster suggested! We're making a sad-face bag today! I also love your technique of encouraging kind behavior. My three-year-old is definately big enough to understand the impact of this, and I'll try it!

M.,
My son likes to hit also, he sometimes will throw something or more often hit his sisters with something. What we do is 1. sit on the steps 2. THROW THE OBJECT IN THE TRASH!. Sounds harsh I know but behavior is not likely to change unless the culprit feels discomfort in some way, t.o. doesn't always do the trick, sometimes it is actually the undivided attention that they crave. Ignoring them and fawning over the victim along with making the object disappear makes more of a lasting impression. Do it once with something important to them, they aren't likely to forget it, and they will realize you mean business when safety is involved, plus it is one less toy you have to pick up! It is hard to throw away something you or someone else paid for, but what is more important - money, things, or teaching your son right from wrong? Good Luck! S.

I hate getting hit in the head with matchbox cars!! With our three year old, we take the toy away, say we don't hit, and put him in a time out. One minute for each year of his age. When time out is done, we ask him to come over to where we are, we get down on his level and ask him what he did wrong. After he tells us, we have him apologize to who ever was hit. This works pretty well for him. For our younger son, 20 months, it doesn't work at all. First, when his brother goes in time out, he follows and sits down next to him. He thinks its a game. He WILL NOT stay in a time-out. My husband started using the time-in method. We noticed that what he hates most is to be still. So as a punishment, he has to sit with Daddy and be calm. We always take away a toy that is used to hurt someone. I don't mind them using toys in ways that they weren't designed for. I think it encourages creativity. They love putting socks on their hands and pretending to be animals. But toys that are used to hit someone are taken away.
I've also found that when they feel they have a choice, or are in some control of their environment, they are much better behaved. Last night, the 20 month old put on his 3 y/o brother's ball cap. Big brother tried to snatch it away. Tug of war insued. I broke it up. Then asked the 20 month old, very calmly, to please give the hat to his brother. He did it, with a smile, and went to play with something else. Wearing the hat was a game, playing tug of war was a game, following directions was a game. His perspective is so different from mind or his brother's. It's hard sometimes to remember that he's not trying to make everyone angry. He's trying to play.
Good Luck, maybe we can find a way to make padded matchbox cars.
-Caroliner

HI M.,

This can be so frustrating:) sometimes a child does this when they have sensory integration and they are trying to literally locate themselves in space, hence the hitting to 'find themselves' Thus, it can be quite confusing for the child when we get upset etc as they don't understand or are even aware as to why it is a problem. Your school may have information on this, if not, the pediatrician can also be a great resource. Not sure if this is what you are facing but just thought I would put the idea out there. Good luck!

Ack