so over the weekend it was really nice out do we decided to take out daughter to the park (shes 8 months old so she was in a stroller most of the time and one a baby swing for a little bit) .. so the swings were getting pretty crowded - the park was jam packed with people - there were people lining up to use them, so once my daughter seemed to lose interest we took her out so others could go. We went over to the dog park because my little one loves dogs and we figured she get a kick out of watching them run around behind the fence, which she did ( this park is huuuuge it has a baseball/football field, a track, a dog park, bike trail, playground, you name it they have it! They even hold concerts in the park there in other areas its so big!) So the path from the playground to the dog park involves walking up a pretty steep hill; We are walking up and theres a man and his daughter, who I would guess was no older than 5, maybe 6 but that's pushing it. They are on scooters (Razor scooters I think theyre called, the metal ones) This little girl could barely balance on the scooter much less steer it. So the dad goes first and he comes flying down the hill towards us, the paths are pretty wide so he went off to the side and around us as we are pushing our daughter up the hill. We look up and this little girl starts coming down the hill. All the while the mom is at the bottom of the path filming it with her camera. This little girl had no helmet or any kind of pads on her. Well needless to say the poor kid comes flying down the hill on the scooter a few seconds after her dad and as soon as she started going we could see the front wheel wobbling. The little girl got about 6 or 7 feet away from us and tried to turn or brake (not exactly sure what she was trying to do but the look on her face was "o my god I need to slow down or move over) and couldn't balance and fell on her knees and hands and the scooter went flying.... I saw it coming..
The poor girl got up screaming mommy mommy and ran to her mom crying. Her little leggings were ripped on the knees and her hands were all scraped up My fiancé picked up her scooter and brought it over to the parents and was like "oh my god im so sorry if she was closer I would've caught her. I feel so bad we should've moved off the path and onto the grass with our stroller when we saw her coming", blah blah blah, you get the idea.. As we continue walking he just keeps saying I feel so bad I should've caught the poor kid, I hope shes not hurt.too bad
Maybe im cruel but my reaction (and I told my fiancé this) was that yes, I feel horrible that she had such a bad fall, but this kid clearly could barely ride the scooter... she was having trouble balancing it while she was riding it on the flat surface at the top of the hill.. why in gods name would these parents have her go down a steep hill,, and with no pads!!?? .. my fiancé was more upset.. I, on the other hand was almost angry that this girls parents would let her do something like that.. I mean the mom was filming it and the dad was like "ill go first and you follow me" ... like really?? .. not going to lie I would not have gone down this hill on a scooter.. a bike maybe, but a scooter hell no and im almost 25 years old!
We didn't really argue about it but there was a little bit of tension there between my fiancé and I afterwards.. he made a comment like "how could you be like that, that could be our little girl in a few years".. and I said " listen im not trying to sound coldhearted or anything, I feel horrible that the poor little girl fell and got hurt but how could her parents be that stupid to let her do something like that when she clearly could barely ride the damn thing.. and it wont be our little girl because I wont let her go flying down a hill on a scooter she cant ride with no pads on !"
any thoughts on the situation..
( we weren't the only people walking up the path while they were scootering.. there were a good amount of people ahead and behind us.. we just happened to be the ones she fell in front of )
Im with YOU!
Very irresponsible parents.
I broke my arm by flying over the handlebars of one of those things going down a small slope.
I think sometimes men react strongly to little girls crying moreso than women. There are times I'll dust off DD and make sure she's fine and she'll go milk Daddy for another kiss and a band aid. You're also viewing it as "that kid" vs "your kid" and I think your fiance is projecting how he'd feel if HIS daughter got banged up.
I do think that the parents should have had her padded (my adult stepdaughter went head over heels on a scooter and bashed herself up pretty good scootering around campus) and at the very least not allowed her down a hill when she was wobbly. But your fiance should not feel guilty about not being closer. Her MOM or DAD should've been closer to help.
In the end, what matters is what you do down the road for your kid, not this incident. I hope that this doesn't become a bone of contention between you.
You both wanted to prevent the girl from getting scraped up.
Your fiance just wished he could have prevented the fall at the last moment
and you wanted to prevent it in a sense that you wanted to protect her from her own parents stupidity.
SO - your reactions were basically the same but only differed in approach.
I agree with you - her parents should not have had her race down a hill when she could not handle her scooter and a helmet is absolutely necessary.
Those things cause SO many injuries it's not even funny.
They've fallen off popularity a bit and this is why:
This is an easy one. You're both right.
She shouldn't have been on the hill, of course how do you really know until you try it. Pad's would have been the smart thing, but we already know that sometimes parents do dumb things.
Then there is the fact that she might have been caught had your hubby been closer. He obviously had a more emotional pull concerning the whole thing, while you had a more shake your head at the parents stupidity moment.
Personally I would have had both cause anytime a child is hurt it breaks my heart...even when it's because the parents have lost their minds.
You will do something with your child that other people think is stupid.
It WILL happen.
I hope that people feel compassion for your child and not just anger at you.
We all make mistakes, we are human. I bet the parents thought their daughter could do better than she did. When my boys were 5 they were careening down hills on their razor scooters and I didn't bat an eye.
They have also walked down the stairs and busted up their shoulder and knees as they fell down.
Kids fall, kids get hurt, kids are clumsy.
I am with your husband on this one.
I honestly would feel exactly like you do, but it's nice that your fiancee was concerned and has feelings :) I was thinking the same thing when you said he said "that could be our little girl in a few years." Um, no because I have some sense! :) Nothing to have an argument about though.
You were both concerned, but just in different ways. I also probably would've thought the parents were idiots and that the while thing could've been prevented if they would've used 1/100th of their peon brains. Parents can be so stupid sometimes.
That being said, neither of you were more right or wrong. I really hope you're not continuing to argue about this. It's a waste of energy.
I feel exactly the way you do! Additionally, even if she was close enough to catch, I NEVER would have touched her! OR the scooter!! Parents have absolutely NO common sense these days and unfortunately it's the kids that have to suffer AND they're getting crazier!!! If you would have touched the child, who knows, they might have accused you of molesting her!
I was in a store the other day and saw a child (old enough to know better) picking their nose and wiping the boogers on the bench in the shoe department - the mom was several feet away totally oblivious - well, I offered the kid a tissue and the mother goes off on me!!!! Screaming at me that her child would never pick their nose!! I just walked away - she was clearly a nut!!!
I'm on your side with this one!!
ah, your mama bear came out on behalf of the little girl, that's all. it was your reaction to seeing her get hurt like that. don't sweat it. mamas are often more protective of little ones. that's all it was.
Your post took me back to something akin to this that happened a long time ago to me regarding a parent who also did something stupid. So I'll tell you what I think.
I think this was a tough learning experience for these parents. Yes, you feel bad that this happened, but it was not your responsibility to do the parents' job for them, to anticipate that she would fall and run to try to save her. That's nice and all, but there is no assurance that you would have been able to. What if you had fallen and tripped on her and hurt her? They would never have believed that she would have been hurt otherwise, and perhaps they would have blamed her getting hurt on you.
Sometimes bad things have to happen to get parents to wise up. You are darn smart to learn from a mistake like these people made, and not allow this to happen to your own child (you're already thinking about this in advance because of this). Sometimes when you apologize for something that you don't have any real reason to apologize for (like your fiance did), people will use that as an excuse to blame you instead of themselves. Your fiance opened you both up to possible legal obligations, harassment, etc. They could have called the police on their cell phone and tried to pin the accident on you. I'm really glad that didn't happen...
What this reminded me of happened a long time ago in a busy parking lot where I was pulling into a space, and backed out a little bit to straighten up my car. All of a sudden a car turned towards me going SO fast that it scared the beejeebers out of me. She slammed on her brakes and her little girl who was STANDING in the front passenger seat, hit the dashboard. Well, it was obvious that she busted her nose, and the mom was dealing with that. I know that is awful, and I'm so sorry that the child was hurt, but I was NOT going to approach that stupid mother and tell her I was sorry. I wasn't going to approach that stupid mother at all. Dimes to dollars she would have found a reason to blame me for her ridiculous decision to allow a child to be unbuckled and standing in the front seat while she drove like a maniac in the parking lot. What was so bad is that her child paid the price for her lack of sense, just like this couple with the little girl on the scooter.
Don't second guess yourself. You did the right thing. Let's hope these parents learned a lesson so that their child isn't hurt again.
Not sure why there was friction toward your husband. He wasn't wrong. Neither were you. You were both reacting strongly to your feelings pertaining to what happened. His first and foremost was sympathy for the child and how he could have helped (AWESOME) yours was anger at the parents (valid).
So. That's it. It was poor judgement for parents (your were right) and sad that that the girl fell and your husband is a sweetheart!
No need for a quibble.
This is a bit of a reversal from how my ex and I would react. I would tend to sympathize with victim first and foremost while he would angrily comment "Well so and so shouldn't have..." like he would rather get mad at someone than sympathize with someone. It was just his way of handling it, and he wasn't wrong, but it came off as cold-hearted.
I side with you on the situation. I have a 2 year old son and I'm a little over protective now. I really don't know if i see it going away as he gets older. If i ever let him go down a steep hill on a scooter, he would have knee pads, shoulder pads, elbow pads, a helmet, and i probably wouldnt even let him go down by himself. LOL! No but seriously I feel the same way because if its obvious your kid can't ride it on flat ground, why would you be confident that she/he is going to be fine riding it down a steep hill.
You're both right, but I would still be concerned over the situation as a whole. You're saying people are riding stuff down a hill, while others are walking up it? That's looking for trouble to begin with. It doesn't matter what they are riding down the hill, they can still loose control and accidently run into one of the walkers. You're lucky her father or her didn't run into your stroller. The township of the park really needs to post signs as to where people can walk and where riders can ride. Scooters are lower to the ground, so I feel like they are less dangerous than bikes; however, both need helmits and pads since kids/adults can get hurt really bad on either one. I would have never walked up a hill that people are flying down it on sleds, bikes, scooters, or skateboards. I guess I'm a scaredy cat.
Your fiance's reaction was : poor little girl, that was awful to be helpless and have to watch this kid wipe out.
Your reaction was: what the hell were those parents thinking, sending a kid into a potentially dangerous situation without protection/pads?!
You are *both* right. It's hard when we can see trouble coming a mile away and then have to be 'gracious' when something--which seems to any thinking person 'totally preventable'-- happens and a person gets hurt. I have these thoughts often when I see kids on scooters and skateboards without helmets. And then I have to tell myself that all I can do is protect my own son and do what I feel is best for him. I always hope I don't have to see something horrible and see some of these kids have an accident, but that's where my power to change something stops. If their parents can't find the common sense to make sure their kids are protected, there's not much I can do about that. But I do feel terrible for the kids-- they don't understand how easily they can injure their heads and bodies....which is why they need an adult ensuring they wear one. I know a few people whose lives were saved due to helmets, so that's one that always catches my eye.
