2 Year-old Birthday Party

I think you should stick with adult parties with the people who know and love your son until he is 4 or so. At that age he will be able to verbalize friendships and appreciate having friends his own age at his party. The one advantage to having a party with his daycare "friends" is that it will give you an opprtunity to meet the parents and perhaps forge some new friendships for yourself (and husband) as well as solidifying any friendships your son may have started. If you are up for it consider doing a fun kid party with 3 or 4 families from the daycare (any more will be chaos) and do a separate grown up dinner with your close family/friends as you did last year.

I have 4 children ages 11-4 so have experienced lots if birthday celebrations over the years...some better than others. There is plenty of time for kid centered parties...no need to rush it. Good luck!

Dear J.:

I have three children aged 8, 7, and 4. I have also struggled with the notion of having to plan fun, enjoyable, and memorable birthday parties for my children. I have planned and carried out birthday parties at my home, at a friend's house, at Chuck E. Cheese, at indoor playgrounds, at daycare, at Jump On In, at Build-A-Bear, etc.....you name the place and I've probably had a birthday party there! On the one hand, planning a birthday party at a facility that caters to these types of events saves the mom (and dad) from having to incur the wrath of what 10 children can physically do to your home and not to mention your sanity! On the other hand, these places can be a bit expensive because the staff is there to do all the work for you; hence, the financial commitment will probably be greater than if you had the party at your home.

I can remember telling myself on my oldest child's first birthday that I would not be one of those parents that makes a huge deal for my child's birthday and that I would have small family celebrations the way my parents did for me when I was growing up. (My parents had 7 children and our birthday celebrations consisted of my mom making a box cake which would be served after dinner--I probably received 2 or 3 gifts--nothing too fancy or expensive.) I was determined to carry on this tradition and I did so for the first couple of years. By the time my son was 4, the birthday parties were now taking on a life of their own. My son had attended many of his friend's birthday parties, which were also held at such places as bowling alleys, farms, gymnasiums, painting classes, etc, and my son was now old enough to realize that his birthday could and, should, be held at some special "place." I have noticed this trend of parents trying to outdo the previous year's birthday celebration, and I have totally fallen victim to this trend as well. My son's birthday is October 28 and my daughter's birthday is October 31. I have always planned a party for each of them every year because I feel like they both deserve their own special celebration. And, yes, the planning can be completely overwhelming. (I normally start planning the two parties a month in advance!)

You mention that you don't know many of the parents from your child's daycare. One great piece of advice I can offer is that inviting the children from daycare is a great way for you to meet the other children and their parents. I (and my children) have made many friends this way! You definitely want to be on top of who your children are hanging out with.....so to speak! As the children get older, they will want to have playdates and do more activities in the community with these friends. It totally helps if you are friendly with parents of your child's classmates!

If you want to keep your child's birthday reasonable and memorable, by all means, invite your single friends and perhaps a few children from the daycare. You don't have to invite a ton of people and worry about whether the children will be disappointed. You can find simple ways to make your child's birthday special, for instance, a few structured activities with an intimate (3 or 4) group of children. There are a ton of ideas on the internet!

I have a friend who personally writes and illustrates party invitations for her daughter's 3rd birthday. I have another friend who had a "movie-themed" birthday party in her home. She borrowed a projector, tacked up a sheet, served pizza and popcorn, and the party was a hit! On my daughter's birthday (which happens to fall on Halloween), we always go trick-or-treating.

I guess the bottom line is that you are the best person to know what kind of celebration is appropriate for your child. When the child is under 4, he or she really won't remember what took place on his or her birthday, although you do still want to make it special. If you can afford to utilize the above-mentioned facilities for your child's birthday, it certainly saves the parents from having to plan every detail. Most parents and children know what to expect if they attend a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, for example, basically the parents sits on the sidelines while the children are engaged in some activity

I hope this was helpful to you! Good luck in your future birthday plans!

My son attends a family run day care and all of the other children are related to one another and to the lady who runs it. I invited them to my son's 2nd b-day, they came and it has brought me closer to them than I ever thought possible. We attend their family functions and they attend ours.
On another note, I'm actually thinking of skipping the big birthday parties and just taking my boy out for dinner. For his 1st and 2nd b-day, I spent A LOT of money and invited A LOT of people. It was great for me, but for my son....not so much. He was cranky because he hadn't had a nap and he's not big on crowds and noise so he was ready for it to be over. For his third, I may just invite 10-15 family members and friends and go to a fun restaurant. Thanks for the idea. lol

If your daycare allows you to celebrate birthdays by bringing in a special snack to share with thier friends at Daycare than I would do this instead of a kid party. i have had parties for my daughter at 2 and 3 because her siblings are older and we have alot of children in the family but most kids / parents will not show up unless they know you or have a personal connection to you...You can let your husband know that you will be celelbrating with your child's firends this way...otherwise it is a wate of money and dissapointing to wait for children who do not show up and nobody ever rsvp's anymore...it is sad.

I say that a party like last years would be perfectly fine but as the child gets older ( 4 or 5 years old) a small inexpensive themed kids party can be really nice as long as you do not go overbaord.

Hi J.,
My son turned 4 in October and I have yet to have a "kid" birthday party for him. I contemplated doing it for this last birthday and inviting his friends from daycare but decided against it. We decided that on his next birthday we'll start doing kid-oriented parties rather than the adult, family only parties. My opinion - before the age of 5 they are really still too young to understand the whole party concept. We still had a party for him w/family and he still got to open presents and blow out candles on a cake and he was fine with that.

However, as someone mentioned, every child and every parent is different so I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be the right thing.

-A. B.

I agree with the other posters who don't have a kid party until they are at least 5 or 6. It is stressful, a waste of money,an did I mention stressful? This includes they families of the kids you might invite. Keep having family and/or close friends celebrate and enjoy yourself. The kid option can and should wait. Good Luck.

totally skip the "kid" daycare party! Your son is too young to even understand it and would totally want to hang out with people he knows, who he considers his friends, which are the people he cares about (your friends). Not the daycare kids who he sees every day anyway. This is a special day for him and your family, not a day to entertain his daycare friends. You do what is best for your family. A kid party is so much work and it is like babysitting all day, who wants that when you want to spend it with your toddler. When he is old enough to know what he wants, say what he wants then a kid party may be the right thing. If you know of a parent or two at your son's daycare that you want to hang out with then by all means call them and invite them, but don't have a big kid party just for the sake of having one. My son turns three in May and he would much rather have a family birthday party with his aunts and uncles then invite kids he barely plays with from his toddler school. There are plenty of birthdays ahead to include his friends from school. Best wishes to you.

Obviously you will do what you can handle and think best for your son. Our son does not like being in the spotlight, and we felt that prior to his last birthday (he turned 4 in November), it didn't make any sense to us to have a kid birthday party. The timing was perfect and we ended up having a really fun day at the children's museum in Acton to celebrate his turning 4. (It was not overly expensive, and there was very little organization needed - we ended up hosting 6 kids from daycare.)

I agree with you that at 2 years old, they really don't have a concept of having friends and a kids' birthday party. For the first 1-3 years, I personally think that the party is more for the parents and family (certainly the first birthday is ALL about the parents - where did that first year go!). In fact, from what I've seen, some parents force certain social celebrations before the kids have any real awareness of what they mean. For example, when our son was just 2, some parents were exchanging valentines on behalf of their children, including candies and tiny toys that were choking hazards! That said, each child is different. Our (1.5 yr old) daughter is much more social and enjoys being the center of attention, so I have a feeling she will be ready for a party sooner than her brother (her birthday is also in the summer, which makes it easier).

two is still pretty young.. your son won't remember what kind of party you had. if you feel you need to do something with the kids, plan a small Chuck E CHeese party instead of the big dinner thing. kids won't sit thru a dinner anyway. Or, just send in cupcakes to day care on his bday and leave it at that. next year it will be a bigger deal for him so you can do the big kid party then.

My son will be 3 in March, and contemplating having a birthday party for him this year. We did not bother the 2 years prior (and glad) He needs nothing, and we celebrated quietly at home. We were raised with occasional birthday parties (on the years 5, 10, 15 maybe?) there were 5 kids, and money was always a concern. I like the dinner idea with friends, and the rule of thumb I heard and like is 2 y/o kid, invites 2 kids, a 5 y/o could have 5 friends...makes it more manageable. I consolation for your husband could be sending in cupcakes and party hats to day care.