My 2 year old (August) son is aggressive with our dog and one of our cats. I try to keep them separated and do not allow them to interact if I am not in the room, but my son still seeks them out. I have talked to my son about it and have showed him how to treat the pets. Everyday I do this. With other people's pets he is extremely gentle.
With our cat he pulls her tail and lies on top of her. She has plenty of places to hide as their is a gate separating floors but she doesn't move away all the time. With the dog I will be standing there and my son will say I am kicking Tyler or pinch his neck and head, I am right there.
I have punished him with time outs and toys taken away which makes him upset but he still does it. I understand he is two and I know the easiest thing is to lock up the pets but that is not an option (my dog has great separation stress). Any other ideas?
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. It is so nice to know that we are not alone. My poor pets. I will try some of the ideas mentioned to see if it helps even more. My cats do have their claws but don't know how to use them except on my one couch. And my one cat will bite me while playing but does not do anything to him, yet. I will just continue to practice patience. Thank you again.
Definetly helps if the cat has claws! - them kids learn real quick! As far as the rest goes - you just have to keep reinforcing and don't let him play with the animals unless he is being nice. Toddlers don't really have empathy until at least age 3???
My brother was that way with our animals when he was young... finally my cat had enough (he was carrying her upside down by her tail!!! my poor kitty) and swiped at him. She got him in the hand, and caused him to bleed (just a little). We used that as a chance to teach him 'we pet the kitty nice, see? she likes this. If you are mean to her, she might scratch you again!' and 'you need to stop pulling Lucky's ears. He doesn't like it any more than Callie does.' It worked... Obviously you can't stage an 'attack' with your animals, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to let him go at it and let what will happen happen... plus you don't want him SCARED of them, just to respect them... It's also not fair to lock up the animals... You might get one of those 'baby corrals' (you know, like 5 baby gates all linked together to make a ring) and make a pet-free zone for him to play in... and he goes straight into it when he is too rough with the animals?
it takes a while for them to get it ... for my son it took grandmas dog nipping at him to get it.
I am having similar issues. Unfortunately I believe my son is modeling my punishing the dog for getting food/stuff off of our counters. I try to model appropriate behavior and try to make sure he doesn't witness when the dog is punished. I presume I will be doing this for some time. It is what it is.
We are going through a phase like this with my 2 year old (Sept.) boy as well. He seeks out the dogs too. We have a baby gate in the kitchen and when he's too rough, they go in the kitchen to "keep them safe." 2 year olds do not have well developed impulse control (as you may have noticed!) so reinforcing the right way to treat them and separating them when he's too rough is the best solution I could come up with. In addition, I tell him repeatedly that hittting/kicking/pinching gives booboos and show him how to be gentle. Sometimes it takes a million times of reinforcing the behavior you want and discouraging what you don't want before it sticks with toddlers. I recall going through the same thing when my daughter (almost 5) was a toddler. She is excellent with the dogs now. To their credit, my dogs who are pretty old (10 yrs) put up with a LOT and rarely snap at him though they do growl and run to me for protection. One of my dogs gets chronic ear infections and her ears are sensitive and I feel badly and worry when he harasses her. So splitting them up is for both of their protections.
I don't do time outs this young. I prefer natural consequences for toddlers (within reason-I don't do them strictly when the natural consequence is death or serious injury) because I think they understand them better. The true natural consequence is getting bitten, but I am not ok with that and I'm not ok with my animals being mistreated. So until he learns that hurting the animals isn't all right, his consequence is that he doesn't get to be with them. Is it possible to gate your dog into another room, like the kitchen, so he can still see you, but not get hurt by your son? My dogs would be upset if I locked them away in my bedroom, but they can see everything from the kitchen. Maybe even a covered dog crate so it would feel safe like a den?
This phase does pass eventually; I know from personal experience. However, I have to say (and I'm sure I speak for my dogs too) I'm pretty much over it already!!!
Our dog has been around my child since birth and cats (acquired recently) have an area that is "their house" but have free range of our home. Our dog is part of every part of our every day living: walks, park, chores and is an inside dog. She has been strictly trained and is seven years old (so she's a "good" and mellow mutt-dog). The kids feed and water her, walk her and love on her. They have claim to her and take care of her.
I would suggest not keeping the pets away and just dealing with it as it comes. Anything I keep away becomes sought after. The cats, for example, keep themselves away (strays who were not used to humans)...so they are more sought after than the dog. We play with the dog, throwing sticks or balls, petting, lots of positive reenforcement, etc. Their "job" is to help take care of the pets. The pets "love" them so they have to show the pets that they "love" them in return. I show them how to practice commands like "sit, stay, dog out, roll over, heel, come-come, drop it, etc." Thus, they are the alpha, but have a really close relationship with our animal-family-member. It's involvement + love + part of the family + discipline (teaching them the language of animals).
BTW there have been a few times when my daughter has been too rough with an animal. Not only has the animal let her know their displeasure, but so have I. Not necessarily in the form of time-out, alone. I have really shown them, through my face and voice (and the dog's face and "voice"/baring of teeth) how serious it is. It is the same as our wood stove: Some things are a no and some things are a NO! (you're in danger/your in danger of hurting someone else! Stop NOW!) They are both incredible with animals now.
Ally ou can do is wait it out and keep up on the punishments. I have a friend with a 5 yr old who still is mean to her pets. It just takes time.
