2 Year Old and Bedtime

Updated on December 11, 2007
L.F. asks from Plaistow, NH
12 answers

About a month ago my daughter discoverd she could climb out of her crib and screams if you put her anywhere near it at bedtime. Before that she took her naps and slept through the night in her crib and always went to bed happily and easily. Now she will only sleep in our bed. Until now we NEVER had her sleep in our bed. We converted her crib to a day bed and she will climb in during the day, but wants nothing to do with sleeping in it. I am at a loss, I do not want her sleeping with us any longer, because my husband and I end up waking up numerous times during the night. I was thinking of buying a toddler bed, my husband seemed to think we should be a full-size bed. At this point I think the issue is she just wants to sleep with us, but I need to break her of this habit. My husband and I both work full-time and need our sleep! I know I need to do something, but I am dreading the crying and struggle I fear we will be dealing with. Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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So What Happened?

We decided to try the toddler bed, since we could get one at a relatively low cost. We made a big deal about setting it up and putting her new Dora the Explorer bedding on. When I put her in for her nap, she gave half hearted cry for not even 30 seconds and slept about 3 hrs. We went out last night and got home at her bedtime, I had hoped she'd be sleeping, but she was still awake when I put her there and she didn't fuss at all. She only woke up once, but that's because she has a cold and was coughing. She stayed in her bed the entire night (about 11 hrs)! I know it was only the first night, but my husband and I were very happy how well that first night went, let's hope the rest follow as smoothly. I would like to thank everyone who took the time to share their experiences and give some advice. Even knowing many of you have had a similar issue helped. Thank you!!

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J.F.

answers from Boston on

my daughter things that she is funny when she wants to sleep with mama and daddy and the only time we do it is when she is sick but she HATED sleepin in her bed alone that was her proble so what me and her dad did was when it was bed time we had a Night light on for her nad we would lay with her (one of us would) and told her OK time to go to sleep or who ever was in there was goin to leave and she would fall asleep .. the other thing that we have to do now is shut her door with sumthin in it so that she dont come out a million time ( jaz is 4 1/2) now but when she was little she had a big girl twin size bed with reels on it and we just layed with her .. but the Night light is a BIG thing even to this day..

Hope that helped a little Good Luck
J. Marie

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N.M.

answers from Boston on

hi L.,
i got my daughter a toddler bed at 21 months for the same reason. at first i put it in my room beside the bed.the first couple of nights she would stay in our bedand when she fell asleap i would put her in her toddler bed. then the foot of the bed and finally her room. this lasted about three or four weeks. i think a full sized bed is to big for her now, i got mine hers in kindergarten.
good luck
N.

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

It might take a few exhausting nights, but it will be worth it in the end, every time she gets up and comes into your room, dont talk, just walk her back into her room, put her in bed kiss her goodnight, and go back in your own bed, if you are consistent and fight past being sooo sleepy, she will learn quickly. It worked for me with my oldest!

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C.H.

answers from Providence on

hi L., I am the mother of a 4 and a half year old. We had simmiliar problems at bedtime in my house when we transitioned to a toddler bed! He got out all of the time and slept with us. we tried walking im back several times a night and letting him cry it out.... none of the strategies worked eventually I put his crib mattress or use an inflatible on the floor next to my bed. If he needed to come in he got right in his bed and went to sleep! This worked wonders we all slept through the night and sometimes he did not wake us. Also thhis is a big developmentla period and seperation anxiety can be an huge issue..... Sh emay be feeling some of this with her new found independance and that is why she seeks you out at night. If you and your husband are ok w/ her in your room but not your bed try this. My son now sleeps in a full size bed through the night. He did not form a habit as some might say..... good luck

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

I had a problem with my daughter waking in the night after being so good all the time.....I tried everything before I discovered that she was afraid of the dark...she started sleeping much better after I left a lamp (not a night light either, a real lamp)on in her room all night. We also have a bed time ritual. We brush her teeth and I read to her in bed everynight, then I hand her the book and tell her she can fall asleep when she is ready..its usually within 15 minutes or so. If you have a problem with her getting out of she is put down they recommend that you put a chair beside her bed and sit there until she falls asleep (I would recommend putting her down a little early so that you aren't up all night trying to get her down). Each night you move the chair further away until eventually you aren't even in the room. If she does get up you pick her up without a word and put her back. I know a lot of parents like to do things with minimal fuss, but thats usually how the "bad" habits start...we give in.....it won't be easy and you may have to dealk with fussing and yelling, but the point is she will eventually get the point that you are the boss and it is bed time.

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C.O.

answers from Boston on

What you have to do is make a decision to get her to stay in her bed and stick with it, even if it takes 3 hours until she is too tired to climb out again. Start on a thursday night, take turns with your husband. When she gets out of bed, do not have a conversation with her, pick her up and bring her back to bed, tell her I love you, good night. Continue doing this EVERY time she gets out of bed. It will take time, especially if she is stubborn. But stick it out, you and your husband are in control, NOT her. It should take 2 or 3 nights to get her to finally stay in her bed at bedtime. Do the same thing if she gets out of bed during the night. It will most likely be 3 days of sleepless hell, but it's better than an indefinite amount of sleepless nights. Good luck!

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

I think your husband is right to suggest a full sized bed. That way you could lay with her to help her fall asleep and you won't have to buy another bed when she outgrows a toddler bed.

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J.R.

answers from Springfield on

I've never had this problem myself, but I would just go directly to a big girl bed. You may want to get the side rails that go on each side or one side if you have the bed against the wall. Then make a big fuss about it and have her go to bed and naps. I know it will be difficult but EVERY time she comes to your room to climb into bed with you, bring her back to her bed. Consistency is the key and she will soon learn she is to sleep in HER bed and you in YOUR bed. Do NOT lay down with her in her bed however inviting it might be to get her to stop crying, this will start a new set of problems with her expecting you will sleep with her in her bed. Hope this helps. Good Luck

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,
My oldest daughter went thru a similair phase around that age. I went out & bought her a toddler bed. She was fine after. I did however sit with her till she fell asleep. After a while i didnt stay as long, decreasing the time i stayed each night. Try it, every child is different, though it is wise to get her out of your bed asap! Good luck!
L. -married mom of 2 girls 3 & 6 1/2. & we both work ft

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J.C.

answers from Providence on

Oh L. I am having the same exact problem with my 19 month old daughter. She screams in her crib for hours and only wants to sleep in our bed and we don't get good sleep either. She has also been doing this for about 3 weeks and we are so tired of it. Hopefully we'll both get relief soon. I'll have to read some of your responses for advice also. Good luck

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A.E.

answers from Boston on

Hi, my youngest daughter recently climbed out of her crib, or rather fell out of her crib. We converted her crib into a toddler bed but shortly thereafter we got her a twin size bed with a guardrail. We put a gate up across her the doorway to her room, one that screws into the doorway. It took her a bit to get use to the fact that she has to stay in bed and in her room. She still gets out of her bed and comes to the top of the stairs, we have a gate there too. I just go up, put her back down and tell her firmly to stay in the bed! It will probably take a few nights of battles to get her to stay in her bed. Let her scream and cry all she wants, she has to learn that she is to stay in her bed and not with you and your husband. your first mistake probably was to allow her to sleep with you, but we all make those mistakes. Just let her know that sleeping with you and your husband is only for certain occasions, a bad dream, a thunder storm or in the morning she can climb in with you. Make a big deal of getting her "a big girl bed". Get a canopy to hang over it and make it her "princess bed" and fill it with her favorite stuffed animals! Make it fun for her. Good luck!
A.

P.H.

answers from Boston on

I think it is time for her own bed or a toddler bed, my son refused to sleep in his crib but my hubby thought he should still (men lol) so he slept in blankets on the floor until we brought up our full size extra bed and then he was happy in his own bed.

Make it a Big Girl Celebration and have her pick out sheets ect.

Yo do not need to start of small, or even get her a twin if she is going to out grow it. We have Nick's bed against the wall and I even got a bumper type thing so his Raggedy Andy does not fall under the bed. if you are afraid she will fall out (it is bigger tho) just keep it on the ground

Thsi is the time to buy with all of the sales

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