2 Year Old Not Napping (But Definitely Needs It!)

Updated on October 20, 2008
M.S. asks from Chicago, IL
15 answers

Hi there,

My 30 month old son is not napping for me - it's been 6 days of struggling, and I'm at a loss! Two days ago, he fell asleep in the car after I picked him up from the sitters, and stayed asleep through the transfer from car to crib and slept for 2 hours. Yesterday, he was at the sitter's and she has no problem - it's only at home that he puts up a fuss. I was hoping that after those 2 days, perhaps he'd simply *forget* that napping has become a battle of wills, but, you guessed it...nope! Today he was back to his old tricks.

I've tried everything I can think of - I set a timer and say he has to stay in his room until the timer goes off, even if he doesn't sleep then he should just have quiet time. I've tried putting him back in the crib everytime he gets out (we changed it to the toddler bed since he could climb out of the crib itself no problem). I've tried laying him back down everytime he stands up. It all becomes a big game to him - he thinks it's lots of fun, and meanwhile, I'm getting grumpier & grumpier. I've also just left him in this room (with a gate so he can't get out). I've sat with him & held his hand and even laid down with him, but nothing seems to work. And keep in mind - all of these things weren't just 30 minutes each - it's over 6 days with 2 1/2 - 3 hours each time.

And he definitely still needs the nap so I don't think it's that he's just outgrown it....

Any advice?

Thanks!!
M.

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K.E.

answers from Chicago on

So, I totally believe the theory that sleep begets sleep...
However, my 22 month old went through this for a couple of weeks. I found, after trying a bunch of things and giving up, that if he missed his nap and was active all day, the next day or two his nap went back on schedule. I guess it's worth a shot!

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D.R.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter started waking in the middle of the night wanting to talk and play around that time so we stopped her afternoon nap. She was cranky but got used to no naps and was sleeping much better. BUT there definitely were (and still are) some days when she needs a nap and it was a bit of a struggle since she thought "big girls don't take naps". We told her that mommy and daddy sometimes take naps when we are really tired too. Maybe he is ready to make the step to "sometimes" napping. He also maybe putting up a fight because he would rather play with you than sleep (my daughter has done this a LOT). I ask my daughter what she would like to play when she wakes up and then tell her she just reserved some special Mommy time, but only after she naps...I haven't had a problem after that. It sound simple,but from the outside looking in it sounds like he just wants to spend some one-on-one time with mommy. Hope whatever you try works! Good luck!

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

M.,

It is a battle of wills. My dtr went through a similiar phase. I just picked one strategy and stuck with it. It took about 2 weeks for her to understand that napping was not an option. I would put her in her toddler bed and sit with my head down and ignore her. Every time she got out I would put her back in with out saying a word. It took about 4 days for her to realize she needed to stay in bed and after about 2 weeks she was back to her schedule with no problems.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

My son just turned three....and I have a 6 month old baby girl. A few months after she was born my son decided to stop napping...even though he really needs it. I battled it out with him for a few months....and then because I was becoming resentful...just gave up. I tried all the stuff you mentioned...and none of it worked. So for the past 2 months I have let him be out and about the house...but told him when it was time for him to play by himself (not that that really worked). Just recently I went to the Dr. for his 3 yr appt and he could see how exhausted I am...and he told me that it's not unreasonable to have him in his room for 1 hour each day. So now I tell him he can take whatever toys he wants in there...but he has to stay in there....and if he does....he gets to watch a 15 min Thomas video when his time is up. I never used TV or videos before my daughter was born...but my son seemed to be not needing my attention 24/7 before either. Good luck to you. I know it's frustrating...and we all need some down time. It's hard to see your little one struggle when they are so tired...and just won't turn themselves off.

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I.H.

answers from Chicago on

When I had only one kid, and he was going through this, I would tell him we were going to do something boring, like go to the store for milk, and then we would drive around until he fell asleep. It was the only way!

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M.L.

answers from Chicago on

Hi!
I went through the same exact thing recently and you might need to adjust your schedule. By this time, he would be on a 1 nap a day schedule, so if he naps at the sitter, most likely he will not nap at home. I had to push my naps from 12:30 to later in the afternoon around 1:30. They only nap for 1 hour, depending on how much we play that day. I also make sure we play, and no tv. Even being outside for 30 minutes riding the bike up and down the street even tires them out. I also kept my bedtime routine the same. (potty, prayer, kiss, sleep music)

I know this is not much, but this is what I did. It took about 4 days to adjust them to the new schedule, but we are now doing it.

M.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

M.

I had a very similiar thing with my youngest when she was about the same age. I became very angry, grumpy and resentful. It was not productive. I tried EVERYTHING just like you. I had to mentally let it go. I couldn't keep up the fight. Within a few months time, she began to nap again...willingly. Oh what a wonderful day that was!! Now even at age 4 she is a willing napper. She watches Caillou at 12:30 pm and knows that once its over it's nap time. No questions asked. She marches off to her room on her own. I know this is easier said then done but it was what worked for us. I think it helped that it was just her and I (older sister was at school). On the weekends, we slip out of the nap routine since Dad and sister are home providing more excitement and diversion. Once Monday is here again, its back to regular napping.

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

My 26 month old hasn't been battling naps but bedtime. Last night, we solved that issue by having him sleep in his pack and play and ignore him when he tried his avoidance tactics. He sleeps in a pack and play at the sitters so it wasn't a big deal. Truthfully, he's the one that wanted to sleep in it! For what it's worth, it was his best night of sleep in several days.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I'm wondering about his schedule. Does he nap 2x a day? Is he sleeping at the sitter's? If he is napping 2x a day he is probably ready to go down to one nap. If this is his only nap and you think he still needs a nap I would stick to the quiet time in his room for a set period of time. DON'T MAKE IT A GAME BY GOING IN ETC. If you feel he isn't sleeping then adjust his bedtime accordingly. (That may give him incentive to nap during the day)

Finally, some kids give up their naps at this age (sorry!). I have three kids and the middle one stopped napping altogether at 2 1/2. She had a very early bedtime (6:00) but she stopped sleeping during the day. The last one would still nap if he wasn't in school full day! So you never know.

Just b/c he is obviously tired doesn't necessarily mean he must nap....you just have to get some extra sleep at night for him. Having said that, you are the best judge. They all go thru phases where they won't sleep and then go back to normal.

Good luck!

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B.S.

answers from Chicago on

Give up. Close the door, walk away. If you continue to go back each time, hold his hand, talk to him, he's won. You need to close the door and even if he doesn't "lay down" he'll get the idea, sooner or later. If he doesn't take a nap, then he'll go to bed earlier.

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E.F.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't worry so much about it. Yes he needs his nap but not every day any longer. My daughter would do the same fall asleep in the car and sleep through the transfers. After not giving her a nap or making her lay down during normal nap time she eventually would come to me on days she did need the nap and say she wanted to go to bed. She is three now and she still will nap a few times a week. but they are never planned she usually just lays down by herself and I'll find her sleeping. It's really cute. except that then she is up until 10, but that will be eliminated with time once she completely gets rid of naps. Good luck.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I went through this when my daughter was 25 months old. Have you tried making his bedtime earlier by 15 minutes increments? I found out that we had been pretty lax about her bedtime, 15 minutes here, 1/2 hour here and I think it was making her over tired. Once I moved her bedtime up, she got more sleep and was able to nap during the day. I also put her down a little earlier for her nap. Sleep begets sleep. Overtired children more than likely will not go to sleep. Good luck!

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

I would buy a crib tent and put him in the crib with the tent. Make sure the room is dark and there is music on continous play. Then also make sure you aren't missing his window of going to sleep time, find out when he goes down at daycare and put him down a little before that at your house.

N.

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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

What is he sleeping in at the sitter? Does she have him in a pack n play? If that is how he is sleeping there you may want to do the same thing at home. Do not go into his room. Be stern tell him its nap time and leave. Listen & look to make sure there isn't anything he can hurt himself with. A 30 month old can wait you out for quite a while. It's not like an infant. He is not crying because he is wet, hungry, etc... He is doing it to exert his independence. You have to let him cry it out. If he cries for a half hour let him, he will eventually fall asleep. This is an independence power play and if you give in he will remember.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

M., My guess is his reluctance to nap may be a combination of being two and the developmental milestones that go with that--exerting will etc, a baby sister who is coming "into her own---smiling & interactive and trying to change the rules when not at the sitter. Napping was not an option at two at my house as you said. He needs it. I would put up the gate (two if he starts to climb over the lower one), put a pillow on the floor by the gate (which is probably where he will finally fall asleep. Call out every 15 minutes (watch the clock because it seems like an eternity) and say "Mommy is here and it is time to sleep". Just say that and nothing else. Don't be tempted to say when you get up we will do thus and so. Just repeat that every 15 minutes so he knows you are there. Don't let him see you and don't say anything else. My guess is that the screaming will get less every day until he learns you are "winning this one". Don't give in and don't skip naps. I commonly hear this from parents whose kids go to sitters and then don't nap for them. They need to know the rules are the same! Good luck and let me know how it goes. A.

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