2 Year Old Son Is Not Adjusting to Preschool

Okay, we faced this with my 2 year old son in September. He's 3 now. We put him in a Mom's day out preschool. He cried and cried, for the first few days he didn't participate and just sat in a chair. I asked the teacher about how he's doing, she said that they will let me know if I need to pull him out. So we kept going. He started playing with peers, but honestly it DID take a month! He LOVES school now but still hates to be away from mom.

I say keep him in, he'll adjust.

At the playground, you or your in-laws or some other well-known adult are there for him. At this new environment, he's being left with people who are strangers to him. Kids who are outgoing on the playground can be outgoing because they have the security of knowing their adults are nearby; they may well be very different in a new environment. Remember, he's barely 2. This does not mean he won't love school later, so don't fear that or he'll pick up on your fears.

I'm assuming from what you wrote that he's not in a daycare center but at home with the grandparents all day. So this is a bigger change for him than you may have thought. You didn't say if this "preschool/camp" is half-day, full-day etc. I'd check with the people running it and if they're professionals who do this all the time and know this age group, they may have ideas and you could try a bit more, hang around a few minutes until he's engaged with a toy or new friend before you leave, etc. But if they're not professional preschool teachers/caregivers, I'd reconsider. Also, is the group really large? He might be overwhelmed by too many kids, noise, chaos, etc. At grandma's he doesn't have lots of other kids around competing for attention, making noise, bumping into him, etc.

It just may be that he's too young still. You may need to drop this and work on his separation anxiety by having a non-family babysitter come to your own house for short periods, building up your time away. If you go to church or synagogue or whatever, that's a good way to leave him with a non-family caregiver for an hour at a time (in the nursery) while you are nearby but well out of his sight.

I would pull him out and waiting till the fall. I am a stay at home mom, and I know how hard it is. I have 3 kids, and my youngest threw a fit for me, when my sister took her from my job parking lot and she cryed and then she was fine again, but at 2 he is still young and he will be fine with your parents, or if your interested in sending him to a childcare provider, and if your local, then I have openings as well. I do not charge you for the days that your son is not with me. YEAH!! Let me know and whatever descision that you and your hubby make, I am sure that it will be a great one, please let me know if your interested and we can go from there.

Thanks J.

Hi there,
I'm pretty torn on your post. I teach preschool, but am a mom as well. I had my son once in a daycare that turned out to be terrible. I really think it usually takes a week to two weeks for a child to adjust to something so shocking as going to daycare, but if your child is so upset he's throwing up, I'd at least take a look at trying a different daycare. I don't think you'll be hurting anything by waiting a while and then trying again later, but I also see what a great experience daycare can be to little kids. I hope you'll keep us posted on how he's doing! Good luck!

I would say that you need to pay attention to him and not send him back. Two is so young for being away, and it is a horrible age to start something new (it would be different if he has been in daycare since birth). Why stress him out? Let him feel secure that you respect his feelinss.

You don't mention how he actually does while he is there after you leave? Is he calm and well-tempered? Not playing with others is not important - did he play indepenently or engage the teachers? I ask, because I sort of wonder if he might ask to go back, if you tell him he can't. :)

Also consider that this particular facility is not the right place for him. Not all child care is created equal. It may just be a bad match for him - kids this age need to attach to their caregiver. Perhaps there was no one for whom he felt rapport or comfortable enough to explore and engage the other kids.

And this has nothing to do with whether he will make friends or play well with other kids - he is only two and most two year olds ignore other kids to some degree. Mom and Dad are still the center of his world. You are lucky if your older son did better at that age, but not all kids are the same.

Hello F.,
I would like to say the getting sick part upsets me, but as I do have 3 children and my own Daycare/Pre-School I have never had that happen, however it will take about 2 weeks for any child to adjust to something new like pre-school. So as you know your child best I would rethink the place where he is, May be their are two many children their or may be he needs a place more like home. I would give him a little more time to adjust, but if he knows you will take him when he acts this way he will do it more and more and he will get worse.
So try dropping him off and say I love you, your going have fun today and I will be back to get you in a little bit. Then leave no matter what he is doing-You can wait outside an I can almost bet he will stop with in 20 minutes or less because most children do as they don't want mommy or daddy to leave them with strangers. If that don't work out for you and you live in the Pasadena area I have a PT opening for 3 days a week on M,T W and you can try him here if you like.
www.childsworldchildcare.com
Good Luck
L.

Hello there first of all I would go to the camp abd ask if anything happened. How old are the people watching him? Teens? If so talk to the director ... do not worry we as directors/supervisors invite questions about you children. Will your son tell you why he does not want to go? I am not sure if he has the verbal skills to do that. Tell him that you are coming back and have the people that are watching him let him know this too. Give him a goal (such as after lunch mommy/daddy will be back) and then when you arive (right after lunch) say "see I told you Mommy would be back!"
Leave something of your that reminds him of you. (something that smells like you)
I would say not to pull him that way you are saying ... if you do not like something we will change everything for you. Your parents watching your son is good for the odd time however the next time you try to take your son somewhere he will do the same thing and you even if you are not trying to give off bad vibes that he will pick up on. I am going through the same thing with my son. He cries even if I leave him with family ... he is a mommy's boy and so I leave each day and do all those things and he is SLOWLY starting to get better! It is going to take some time ... but try to make it a positive thing ... but make sure that the place that you are sending him is a good one first!
Hope that helps
Take care and good luck!!!!! Again I know the stress that you are dealing with right now!!!
D.

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Thanks, R. Gagnon