2 Year Old Son Wakes up Every Half Hour

Updated on October 20, 2009
M.S. asks from Sparks, NV
7 answers

OK, so until now our son has been sleeping with us. Since he was born, he just never did sleep through the night. Well...we are having another baby boy in Feb and we want to get him settled in his own big boy bed. We bought the bed and he LOVES it. I lay with him to fall asleep (he can't on his own) and then I leave the room. when he wakes up, he calls for us. We go in there till he falls back to sleep and we continue this routine pretty much every hour or until I give in and just fall asleep in there with him. Any advice on books or techiniques that worked for you?

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was going to recommend the Richard Ferber book, "Solve your Child's Sleep Problems", as an alternative. Ferber's book was very informative about understanding sleep cycles in general, and figuring out strategies to change the behavior of night wakings, starting with getting your son to fall asleep on his own, and fall back asleep on his own. It helped us set up a night-time routine, and get our son to sleep through the night on his own. I credit this breakthrough with saving my marriage! :-)

The other 2 responders before me offered some really neat strategies too, though, which sound like they fit your co-sleeping situation. If you want to continue sleeping in your son's room, be sure you are comfy with a futon or mat, blanket and pillow. When we move my son to a toddler bed this year, we plan on adding a daybed reading corner that I can use if he's ever sick, or for my husband when our other little guy is having a rough night in the other room. Having a little corner for him in your room will also help avoid any jealous feelings that he's been ousted from the family bed by his new pipsqueak brother!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

well at least you are in the process now, before baby #2 comes home.

It takes time, each kid being different. He just wants to make sure you are there and he is safe. He will transition in time and feel better about it. Give him time, but not a hardcore deadline. Some kids don't do well with the feeling they are being 'rushed.'

Let him have loveys in bed with him, a flashlight he can keep in bed with him, a sippy cup of water in bed with him, all the pillows he wants. That is what our daughter LOVED to do... she called it 'making her nest.' And she would make things all cozy and she had a whole 'routine' about getting her bed 'ready' and what to put in it, before she would sleep.
Try to engender a routine that he can do, prior to lying down in his bed. His "own" thing.

At about 2 years old... they change a lot and we put changes on them too, at this age. Beds being one of them, and they get ousted from co-sleeping & having a new baby sibling. So, they will need to adjust. AND at this age, kids start to have night-time fears or fears of the dark etc. Its normal.

My kids and I co-slept too. I was like that too, with my kids, and I did just the SAME as you to put my girl to sleep. Its okay. They grow out of it.
BUT... for us, we also have a floor futon in our room... where the kids can come in and sleep on IF they need too. It doesn't bother us. It works out for us. Its a happy medium. A sort of 'transition' thing. We are not the types to barricade our kids in their rooms with gates etc., so this floor futon is our solution and even when I had my 2nd child.

Just see what works for you and him. He will get it. Just not yet. But I think what he is going through is normal. And even at this age, its a form of 'separation anxiety.'

Or what you can do when he calls for you every time he wakes is: don't go in right away. Just wait... make like you don't hear him and are sleeping. Wait. And he may go back to sleep on his own. That is what I did sometimes. Or tell him... "in a minute..." then just wait. Don't go quickly.. .and in the process of him "waiting" for you he may fall back asleep again. That is how my son is. But for my daughter, well she'd literally wait and count the minutes. Ha, ha. So that method didn't work.

Or maybe give him a t-shirt of yours... one that is not freshly washed and smells like you and is all cozy. A t-shirt you wear all the time, and let him sleep with it. My daughter, being the way she is... LOVES to sleep my ol' ratty t-shirt. And she hugs it as she sleeps. It makes her feel safe and comforted. And explain to your son that he can hug that...

All the best,
Susan

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Susan on this topic. Sleeping should be stress free and not a challenge.

My son had started sleeping in his own bed when he started overnights with his father, and this change disrupted that comfort zone he created. So, he makes his way back to my room after a few hours, minutes or moments of sleep in his room and that's okay with me. But, with a little one coming you will need to find a middle ground that will make everyone happy.

Like Susan my parents set up a nighttime bed for me in their room that I could sleep on if I got lonely or scared. But, after my baby sister was born she made too much noise at night and I started using my bed again. But given the option I felt safe and happy and everyone got good sleep. With my little guy we have a pullout bed he can sleep on or my bed or wherever he will sleep.

Your son is not too young to talk to about what's going on. Explain how he's going to be a big brother and you're going to need his help with taking care of the baby even now. Get him some books and even some cool shirts that he can show off that he's going to be a big brother.

You're on the right track to start now. Good luck!!

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M.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

The book "The no cry sleep solution for toddlers" worked for me. I beleive it's written by Elizabeth Pantly.

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T.C.

answers from San Diego on

I think until he learns to fall asleep on his own, he will continue to need you to get him back to sleep in the night. You may try letting him play quietly with stuffed animals or read a couple of books in bed by himself (with a dim light on) after your bedtime routine- without you in the room. If you get him to learn to fall asleep on his own he will probably be better about going back to sleep on his own instead of needing you. Our girls have "friends" (stuffed animals) and they won't sleep without them- anything that is really special to him and don't let him have that at the same time as he has you. We have a very simple and very simple bedtime routine... brush teeth, read a book (two if they're pretty short) and then kisses hugs and we're out. They know that means stay in bed. When our 5yr old was two we used to let her pick a couple of books and she could "read" them until she went to sleep- as long as she stayed in her bed. I have many pictures of her with books on her head :) If we stayed with her until she fell asleep, she just kept trying to stay up longer so we didn't leave and calling us back when she woke up. We have always tried to make bedtime a happy but calm time. My sister used to use a timer... she would set it and tell her little one she had ten minutes when the timer went off she'd tuck her in and leave the room - she said it worked great for them. Whatever method you think might work for you... you will have to be patient and consistent and he will learn to go to sleep on his own.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,
Where do I start? LOL! I'm sure you are well aware of the fact that you helped develope this sleep issue he has right? He has to learn to fall asleep on his own. You have to sleep train him. (and yourself)
Instead of giving you a bunch of advise, I'd rather forward a wonderful on-line book I have called "Sleep Sense Program". This book gave me the tools to change our families bad habits. The author covers a few different ways to sleep train your child, and also brings a light to what is going on with your child.
It was extreamly helpful and now my daughter sleeps through the night. She is 2 1/2 yrs old and woke up several times a night every night since she was very young. I would do whatever it took to get her back to sleep. My biggest mistake was letting her sleep in bed, and staying in her room until she fell asleep. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it worked, and now everyone gets more sleep. Not only that, she started sleeping longer for her naps. When talking to a friend about her change in sleeping, she said "Well, the more they sleep, the more they sleep." It totally made sense to me.
Anyway, please email me at ____@____.com and I will send it to you. (anyone else who needs it too)
Good luck!
M.

C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

So surprised that no co-sleeping Mama's chimed in... I suspect your husband can fall asleep and stay asleep if you are not in bed with him... It's the little boy that needs you. You can co-sleep with your little man and the new baby when the next little guy arrives. Or your husband can sleep with your older child and you can sleep with the baby. If he sleeps best when he sleeps with you, then let him sleep with you.

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