HELP! From the time my 2 year old hit her first birthday, she quit sleeping at night. She would wake up and shriek hysterically for hours at a time. We did EVERYTHING...cuddle, rocking, change of lighting, lullabies, brought her to bed with us, let her cry it out, elevated her mattress, everything. It got so bad we saw about 3 doctors for it and then had her "psychologically evaluated" by a specialist. They couldn't find anything wrong and then referred us to yet another specialist. By the time the appt rolled around she quit (of course) and then a month later began waking again, but to play. She continues that to this day. She wakes up in the middle of the night and talks, sings, plays, laughs, shriek laughs and sqwaks. I am sooooo tired. I can't get her to stop. We try to ignore it most of the time, but when it's really bad (loud) i go into her room and firmly tell her to be quiet, tuck her in, and turn on her lullabies again. We've moved her room further down from us but she is waking us all up - including our 4 1/2 month old baby. The most frustrating part is- she doesn't, and never has, napped! Shouldn't she be tired???? Why doesn't she seem to need sleep???? How can I get her to at least sleep through the night without commotion? And WHY can't any of the 4 doctors/specialists we've seen found anything wrong with her that i can fix?????Any new ideas - or even sympathy or stories of similar children - would be welcome right now! I feel frustrated that no one else seems to have such behavior. Thanks.
WOW, where to start? My DH started putting our 2 year old down for naps on the weekend...lo and behold she STAYED there and has been taking 2-3 hour naps every day for me even! (why do they have to do so much better for the dads sometimes?!?!)The naps have really helped her to sleep better at night, although she is still waking up, she isn't as loud as before. I requested every last book suggested here from our library and found SEVERAL things helpful, especially from "the no cry sleep solution" as well as "the baby whisperer" and "sleepless in America". Thank you SO MUCH for the help - I really wish I had known about this site sooner and could've gotten these ideas sooner. I honestly didn't know there were so many sleep-help techniques out there. I'm applying things I'm learning from the books to our 5 month old since she has taken to similar sleep-shenanigans that leave me tired! At our next Doctor appt, I am going to tell our pediatrician to recommend the "no cry sleep solution" to the next sleep-deprived, frazzled mommy he has in his office! THANK YOU for all the support and prayers!
I have not had personal experience with this issue, but it sounds to me like night terrors. I have known other moms whose kids have experienced this. I hope that one of the doctors you've seen have suggested this, but you never know... Here are some web sites:
http://www.nightterrors.org/
http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/sleep/a/night_terrors.htm
Hello R.,
You are not alone there are children out there that don't sleep through the night. I am a full time working mother and have 5 children ages from 13 to 20 months and my 3 1/2 year old, has never slept through the night. He wakes up 2 to 4 times a night; I have had many sleepless nights over the past few years. I have tried many things to try to help him, however I have come to realize that he probably will never grow out of this, it is who he is. He does know that he cannot turn on the light or get out of bed and play because he shares a room with his 20 month old brother. He does like his fan on every night and when he wakes up he sings himself back to sleep. I am lucky that his little brother is a sound sleeper and rarely wakes up to him. I would try talking to your child about the importance of sleep and how you grow when you are sleeping ect. This is what I did and how we came about the rules of sleeping. At least now he sleeps more because he tries to go back to sleep instead of waking up completely and playing. This has made it easier on us all.
I wish you the best!!
Hi R.
I know exactly what you are going through my daughter did the same thing. I read a great book called sleepless in america.If you have chance I say you read it. What helped our daughter was she was VERY OVER tired so her body would not let her sleep well. We started putting her to bed 15 minutes earlier every day until she was going to bed at 7:30 and falling a sleep within 15 minutes and once she was getting 12 hours of sleep on a regular basis she was a completly different kid and I could function again I hope this helps another really good book is The No Cry Sleep Solution. I also recommend you keep the same bed time routine so she knows it is time to sleep. Good luck I completly understand and empathize with you. :)T.
I have/had the same problem. Although I a saprised no one sugested it!! It is call night terror's. And as bad as that sounds it is not..... The symtumes are wakeing up in the middle of the night (usually a few hours after they go to sleep) and sccreaming uncontrolably. The best some one explained it to me is that thay are in between awake and asleep. IT IS NOT A NIGHTMARE!! There is NOTHING wrong and you can not conculle them. I went with out sleep for years!! and even to this day (she is 8) she will sleep walk. The best thing to do is when you hear her ster..... imeditaly befor she wakes herself up..... tell her to go to bed. if she winnes or fusses, ask her what she wants and even if it a paper plate (yes, I have done that too) get it to her so she is satified put her back to bed and see if that help's. Also I found that info on Night Terror/ sleep walking from the doctor and the internet is the best to calm MY fears and worries. And please don't worry, take it from some one who has been there..... this is normal..... frustating yes!!(expecally when your tied)..... but normal. and quite a few kids get night terrors and...... grow out of it!!!
even now my doughter's sleep walking a few and far between.
allitle about me: I am a working mother of 3 (4,8,and 15) I went though teething and acne at the same time.
We have never dealt with that for that long, but we did have kids with insomnia for a week or so. Tough! I never want to go through that again.
I would try taking her to a chiropractor. It will take a couple of months of treatment if she is that out of alignment, but it is so worth it.
Our littlest one had trouble sleeping at night. He would wake up crying over and over and over. We finally took him in and it did take awhile of adjustments, but he got so much better. Now he may fuss once a night, but no more hours of screaming!
The advice part: Have any of the specialists been sleep doctors? If not, that would be my next step. If they were then I'd still go for another opinion. Dr.Ashkay Mahadevia (most folks call him Dr. Maha) of Pulmonary Associates in Davenport, Ia ###-###-#### is wonderful.
Non-medical guessing on my part and what we did to cope: It sounds a lot like the sleep terrors that my kids had when they were younger. Years before we'd ever heard of sleep doctors. The didn't have them every night and they much more pronounced in my older son - but they are terrifying for a parent to watch because, as you've noticed, nothing you do while they are happening seems to really help. I would comfort them as best I could (cuddling, rocking, cooing reassuring words) but mostly it was just waiting them out.I don't know if my boys finally just outgrew them or if the tactic we developed really helped or if it was a combination of the two. We had bedtime rituals, but we gradually added to them a few minutes each night after they were in bed. After the cuddles and bed time story and such each of them would recite "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite (here's the important part) Tonight I'm going to dream about . . . and they'd have a very short happy-dream scenario they planned. Often it was something like "I'm going to dream about flying to the zoo to visit the peacocks" or "I'll remember that in dreams I can be anything I want to be, just like in the cartoons and movies". It may sound silly but going to with a happy, powerful dream planned seemed to diminish the frequency of the night screaming. Its my possibly-flawed understanding that nightmares and night terrors are very different things, but the night time rituals, and getting old, both helped.
Note that both my now-grown sons do still talk in their sleep but seem to have outgrown sleep walking and night terrors.
Dr. Maha helped me with chronic insomnia as well as sleep walking and sleep eating. After 30+ years of frequent waking, insomnia, early waking, etc. Dr. Maha has me now sometimes sleeping all night. The sleep walking episodes are much more infrequent as is the sleep eating.
Hang in there and good luck.
My 2 year old has been getting up at least 3 times a night for the pass 6 months! It is sooo annoying! I have 4 kids and none of the others ever did this. My husband and I are so tired. It's worst then a new born. At least with a baby, you fed, burp & change them while you're still half asleep and everyone goes right back to bed. My son, on the other hand, wants a new bottle (yes, his still drinks bottles, because we just can't deal with anything else right now) he needs his diaper changed, his diapers overflow all the dang time so then he needs his sheets changed. He gets all calmed down and we shut the door behind us, and YAHHHHHHHHHH, he starts screaming again. We've tried leaving the door open, but then we don't hear when he gets up on his own and heads to the kitchen to pour himself some more milk (that has never worked out like he planned) so then we are cleaning up a gallon of milk all over the floor at 3 in the morning. The worst part is that now we have started to sleep thought his screaming, only to get woke up by our other kids ("mom, mom, caelan is screaming and I can't sleep, go get him") and have to put them back to bed too.
We just keep telling ourselves that this is only a phase, it's only a phase, one day he will sleep though the night. And when he's the last kid in the house, every Friday and Saturday night, my husband and I will take turns waking him up every hour all night long. With an drum set and a fog horn. ;O)
I totally feel your tired pain. My son stopped napping and started waking up the same way your baby is when he turned one. He is now almost 4 and I have done everything you have done. I even took him to a sleep specialist but nothing has helped. I wish I could tell you the magic cure but I cant. I just wanted you to know that there is someone else out there going threw what you are. Good Luck!!!!
I too feel your pain. My daughter went through a stage like that too. I know many of the other responses suggested allergies but I think there are other reasons this could be occuring. I agree that night terros are a possibility as my daughter had a few when she was 2. Also, I know when my daughter was "over-tired", sleeping at night was difficult. Maybe establishing "rest time" during the day would help. Additionally, establishing a nighttime routine (that is ALWAYS the same) may help but should include quiet activites. No t.v. or other stimulating activities. I hope this helps and look forward to a peaceful nights sleep for you and your family.
My youngest son use to have trouble with waking up screaming. I would go in and he would start saying "there's a man in my closet" over and over or he would scream "I want my mommy!" while pushing me away. I mentioned it to the pharmacist when I was refilling his asthma meds and was told that it sounded like hullionations caused by codine which was in the cough meds they gave him for his asthma. Once we took him off that, the hullionations stopped. It could be something simple like a food allergy, a allergy to the bedding. I always thought there was bugs in my bed when I was small because the soap used on my bedding caused allergies. Good luck.
Try Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America" or her website--ParentChildHelp.com. She also does individual consultations for a fee and teaches classes in St. Paul. She is a local parent educator who is nationally known and has written some amazing books. I might also consult a pediatric sleep clinic or was that one of the specialists you've already seen? I think the Univ. of Minn. has one. Good luck.
Has he been tested for allergies? My friends son had an allergy to milk and it gave him a hyper reaction. He would never take naps or sleep at night, in fact he would break things in the middle of the night and play all night long in his room. You could always look into that. Oherwise my son went through a hard time sleeping at night when he was 1. I used a method, not sure what it is called. You put them to bed, say good night, hugs, kisses all that fun stuff, then you wait and every 15 min you go back and lay them down. I will tell you it isn't easy! I cried myself listening to my 1st born cry like no other because I kept leaving. The trick; the 1st time you have to go back and lay them down you tell them "Good night it is time for bed", and walk away. All the other times you go back (there will be other times)you simply say NOTHING! Just put them back to bed and ingnore the bad behavior. No lie, I tried this technique and after the third night of doing this my child went to sleep, and I didn't have to keep going back in the room and lying him down. My son is now 3 1/2 yrs. and also doesn't take naps, but no issues with sleeping at night now, not even to get up and play.
Hope this technique works for you, Good luck!
I am courious about what foods she may be eating maybe she may be reacting to a food intolerance. It is not wise to eat the same foods everyday, study up on food intolerances.
Granted my five-year-old is in the autistic spectrum, but he does the same thing. We've started giving both our twins melatonin and just upped the non-sleeper's dose. Our pediatrician also recommends Benedril. Personally, I'd only use that for a little while to try to establish a sleep habit. Melatonin is natural so won't hurt them. Have you asked your pediatrician what you can give her to make her sleep?
B. H
Wow ~ This sounds tough R.. My daughter, now 13, also did not sleep much. She was always (even at the age of 1) the last one to drop off to sleep, often at 11PM. What's nice is that your daughter is not screaming and crying when she wakes up... at least she sounds like a happy baby.
The absolute first thing I would check is her intake of corn syrup ~ it is in everything and is an allergen that wakes the brain up in the night. My kids and I react to corn syrup and will lie awake half the night when we eat it - which is common. Check her formula and anything else you are giving her. Is there something in her diet that changed at 1 year? Also, avoid colored foods as food dyes have a similar effect.
If you cannot link this to food:
Read: Raising Your Spirited Child. Some children are just too busy to sleep. They also exhibit other behaviors that can be called "spirited". These children are incredibly smart (smarter than us) and require a different kind of interaction on all levels.
Have you tried putting a CD player in the room with gentle sleeping music that plays repeatedly? She may be requiring more for her brain to do, thus the waking. Classical music (Mozart, etc.) may give her brain the stimulation it needs and help it to stop waking.
Spirited children have brain development needs that other children don't. They often respond to having way more complex stimulation than their peers: chapter books, above their age-level puzzles, complex music (soothing however - they are typically over-stimulated easily).
As to the day time no-napping ~ you have my deepest sympathy and support. I had two children that did not nap. Mothering is exhausting when you cannot get a break.
My 3 yr daughter did this too we finally got a routine down where in the afternoons she layed down and looked at books and if she wanted to play it was on her bed and no where else in here room. It took a while "like several months" but eventually she started sleeping thru the night again cause she did get that "rest" time. Some times she napped sometimes not. When she napped she was UP in the middle of the night shreaking, laughing, talking and of course playing. She still on rare occasions does it but only when shes sick and happens to hear my husband getting ready for work. Which this week has been about every day.
You could try warm milk if she will take it, lavender oil is a natual relaxent. Talking to her pediatrician again which I know is not what you want to do. Or see what the moms here offer.
Best of luck to you and your family. I hope you get a good nights sleep soon.
I wonder if a doctor could recommend a good, safe sleeping medication for kids. I don't know what else to even suggest! I'm sure you've thought of everything to try.
Good luck!
Oh I am so sorry, that sounds so stressful. A couple of thoughts, although I am sure you have heard just about everything having seen so many doctors (what are they telling you??) Does your daughter like baby dolls? Can you start to have her put her baby dolls "night night" and tell them how important it is to sleep, etc. Have her sing to them, hug them, etc. My DD is also 2 and really responds well to ROUTINE, we do almost the exact same thing for bedtime, wind down, etc. every night. One of the other things that seems to help settle her is reading books, as she gets older now and more interested, this is taking longer and we have to read quite a few books some nights. There are lots of great bedtime books to keep the conversation, focus on the goal: SLEEP!!!
Because you also have a baby, it is definitely normal to see some jealousy, neediness, etc. Is your DD needing more 1:1 attention? My son is now 8 months and he also barely naps at all, but has started going to bed by 6:30 p.m. The great thing about this is that it allows my husband and I to give my daughter undivided attention for an hour or so before bedtime, she seems to really need this.
Also, definitely try and get her outside whenever possible. At 2 years old, they need a LOT of phyisical activity. This has been such a long winter, I have definitely noticed a difference when I am able to go outside, even if it is only 20 minutes. So, elicit some help from others for the baby if you can take your DD on some walks!!
I hope you get lots of good advice and wish you luck, keep us posted on your progress.
