2 Yr Old Cries During Diaper Change and When Getting Ready for Bath

Is he potty trainning at all? My son 2 1/2 was terrible about this. I did two things. I started giving him time outs for having a tantrum (yelling and or struggling). I would finish putting the diaper on then send him to his room. More recently I have been offerring to let him wear underwear. And I explained that if he goes in the potty he doesn't have to wear a diaper. He knows when he wears underwear he is supose to go in the potty and he doesn't like having accidents so he usually either goes in the potty or lets me put a diaper on. He rarely resists now. Good luck!

I have 5 kids and we have always used a home daycare o a part-time basis. I say this to let you know I am NOT anti-daycare. But I would be concerned about any child crying unexplainedly when you undress him/her. If it were my child, I would immediately pull my child from that daycare and make other arrangements for a week or two and see if the behavior gets better. I would also talk to other parents from the daycare to see if their kids are going through any behavior changes. Don't be accusatory toward the provider; just ask, parent-to-parent, for advice. I would follow my gut instincts and watch for clues, but I would never accuse someone on a hunch or start rumors. Because two-year-olds do weird stuff that we sometimes never understand, just because they are two.

J., I am a child care provider myself, and I agree with those who say you should check things out to make sure there is nothing going on there; it can't possibly hurt to do some checking and make sure. But my first thought was: what does she do differently during a diaper change? My 2-year-old and a 2-year-old I watch both recently went through a period of crying and struggling during diaper changes, again with no obvious cause. I talked to the other boy's parents, and he was fine at home. Finally we realized that at home, the change him on the floor, whereas here I have a changing table. And both boys had become afraid of falling off. Once we sorted that out, it was easy to reassure them that they were safe and I would never let them fall. So definitely look into any concerns you may have about day care, but you may also be able to work together to sort out what's bothering your son.

It may be that your son feels like he wants some control over the diaper changing and undressing. Can he "help" you undress him for baths, and can he get his own diaper and bring it to you? My daughter is usually too busy to sit still for a diaper change, but is much more cooperative if she gets to go pick out her new diaper.

Hi J., my name is L. Faber and I'm an Arbonne consultant (tons of passion in my voice). I have actually read a couple testimonials on this. There is huge success with Arbonne's baby line which is all pure, natural, and beneficial. I'm not a doctor nor do I pretend to understand all this conditions but got to Arbonne.com and look at the testimonials under ABC (or Babycare). If you would like free samples to try, I could have them in the mail tomorrow.

Good luck and would love to help, L. Faber
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HELLO J.,

I did daycare for 5 years and the kids behaved MUCH better for me than with their parents.

Does he cry when his dad changes him?

However, if you have any maternal instincts that say something is wrong, check it out. There are BAD daycares out there.

Then again, my daughter (just turned 3) is really good for all my relatives that watch her and as soon as I walk in the door she will sometimes quit playing, or cry about everything, or not touch her food, etc.... Kids behave different for the parents. IT'S THE MOM SYNDROME. I swore my kids would be differnt, but they're not!!! LOL>

That's a tough call, kids act differently about things all the time, is he busy doing things like playing or watching a fav. cartoon or something when it's time to change his diaper/bathtime? Maybe let him know afew minutes beforehand that you'll be changin him soon.

Otherwise, ask daycare how they go about it, and also assk your son why he get's upset too.

Good Luck.

I have had a similar situation with my 2 yr old. He still does it every now and then. What I started doing was giving him a warning before we did anything so he could anticipate getting washed, clean, etc. I would say something like, when your program is over we are going to change your clothes. Or in 5 minutes we are going to take a bath. It took a little while for him to accept that these things were going to take place whether he wanted to or not. I've also starting giving him a time out if he doesn't stop screaming (I also warn him about getting a time out). Just keep your cool and don't let him see you upset. Stick to a routine such as mine, and it will get better.
BTW- I just had a baby 6 weeks ago, and I think some of this outburst may be because of this.

Hi J.,
Is it cold in your house? My son used to cry when we changed him as well and when someone opened the door during bath time and cold air got in. We put a little space heater on the changing table and he loves it! He has even fallen asleep on the changing table;-) I'm sure that you don't use a changing table for your two yr. old but wherever you change him maybe make sure it's warm and cozy. It's worth a try.. Also, maybe get him some new, special tub toys or bubble bath. Good luck!

Melissa

My 18mon went through the same thing. I talked to many poeple about it and all I came up with was... Make the bath time short. Put him inthe tub and clean him up and take him out. We did this for about two weeks and after that he just decided to play in the tub again. The same for the diaper changing... I just tried differnet things like start singing a sing he knows before lying him down to change his diaper, or played airplane and landed in the diaper changing area. He will come around just give him time and most importantly be patient. Good luck

My daughter has always wanted her diaper changed, even if it was just a tinkle, so I can't help with the crying during diaper changing, although I agree it might be because of location (i.e., on a table, afraid of falling off) or--and this is the hard one to address--something else that might be happening at daycare that he doesn't manifest his distress about until he's home with you, his parent, whom he knows he can trust and show you his anger/fear/mistrust, especially if he's too young for much verbal talk.

The bath, I can relate to.

My daughter was 2 when she suddenly hated taking baths. Up until then, she loved baths and playing in them. We couldn't for the life of us get her into the tub. Finally, I had to get into the tub with her, or she wasn't going to take a bath. Anything in the tub, she had a major fit over (lint, hair, stuff). This went on for 6 mo, maybe a year, until we gradually weaned mommy out of the tub (she grew too big for both of us to be in the tub together).

At the time, we didn't know what was wrong. However, after we discovered she has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), the fracas with the bathtub made more sense. We'll never know if it the water was too cold, too hot. If the open space/expansive of the bathtub scared her, or if the water depth did. When I was with her, then everything was okay. Mommy was fine, mommy wasn't scared, and my daughter had someone to "keep her safe."

SPD is just something to think about. My daughter is now 8 and, other than getting her into the bathtub (which, with our crazy schedules, it's sometimes a challenge to find an open night), we have no more screaming and tears.

A. C.

Use a web cam if you take him back to day care and see if he is being abused or molested there please.
A friend took her month or two old child for a cough say check up and they found out the baby was beaten by the caretaker and had a broken collar bone etc.
Please error on caution and see your doctor for their is some thing wrong.
D.

Hi J.,

This is one more stage. It might seem like everything is a stage by the time the kids grow up - and in some ways, it is!

With lots of patience and a little bit of time he'll stop fussing OR he'll be happy to do it himself. In fact, this is an opportunity to show you he can take off his shirt and pants for bath time?

Best wishes to you...K. C

Hi, J..

Have you asked your son why he cries? It would be interesting to know his perspective on it. Off the top of my head, I would check into the following:

* Has he recently had any vaccinations? Sometimes vaccines have been known to have a sudden impact on a child's behavior?

* Does he feel safe at daycare? Has anyone touched him inappropriately or made fun of him while he was being changed?

* Does he have some sensory integration issues that are surfacing? My son had mild SI issues when he was that age. Children with SI issues can sometimes become very irritated with physical sensations that most of us are okay with or don't even notice. The change in temperature when his diaper comes off, or the feeling of the wetness evaporating, etc. could be setting him off.

Hope this helps. God bless,

N.

I see you have plenty of answers to think about, I just have to disagree with one thing - change your daycare for a short time to see if there's a difference?!? Sounds like your son is already under some kind of stress - don't increase it by disrupting his comfortable schedule when it may be totally unnecessary. If you honestly in your gut feel there may be something wrong at daycare, then try staying home with him and/or seek help to find out, but don't discount the possibility that it may just be "one of those things."

my 2yr old did the same exact thing for a few weeks. I just tried to stay calm, do the diapers as fast as possible and we skipped hair washing for a while. He quit protesting/screaming/crying after a few weeks. I don't know if yours will too, or if there is something else going on. Mine had no diaper rash either etc. He just quit one day and was fine again.

I had this issue with my 18 month old and her diaper changes. I ended up getting a wipes warmer and now she doesn't cry anymore. I don't know why...but that solved the problem for us. I don't have issues getting her into the bath...it is getting her out! Good Luck!

I agree with Rachael. I think a lot of the other moms are going overboard, although it doesn't hurt to make sure everything is alright physically or medically. My son will be 2 next month and he went through the exact same thing for a few weeks. We made bath time very short. He cried standing up in the tub and wouldn't even sit down. That was only about a month ago. Now he is taking his clothes off faster than I can get the tub filled and climbing in. He really enjoys bath time again, except when we're rinsing the shampoo from his hair. If your son has gotten water, soap, or shampoo in his eyes recently, that could be the fear he's experienceing.

Another thing I'd like to say is that all children behave differently for daycare providers and relatives versus their parents. Don't be afraid when the daycare provider reports entirely different behavior. A good example is how my son will eat everything they hand him, but with us he is very picky. Behavior even varies between which parent the child is with at the time. Most of the time it works like this with our son. He's a perfect angel for his daycare and anyone else who baby-sits him. With us, he knows that he can get away with more and expect speedy results. If he crys, we rush to find out what's wrong, etc. Consider it a compliment that he feels so safe and secure with you that he can express himself more (even if it is in the form of screaming or tears).

Oh, by the way, my daycare providers are now telling me that he is crying when they want to change his diaper. He isn't doing that for us at all right now. I think he's getting more comfortable there now (he's been there for a few months).

The final piece of advice is to follow your gut.

I don't know what to think. If it were my kid, I'd immediately think that something bad may be happening to my child. I know its the worse to think, but I would really look into who's watching your son and if maybe something is happening that shouldn't be. Your daycare could be lying to cover something up or he could just be in a phase though. He might just not like being naked and feeling insecure. You could sit in on the daycare once or twice and see if he really does cry when they change him. Or you could just try to switch daycares or have him go somewhere else for a week to see if the phase changes. Good luck and I hope you figure it out. Its the worst feeling when you can't figure out whats going on with a toddler.

*jennie

My daughter went through a phase where she HATED the bath. I mean HATED.. Kicking, screaming it was awful. We ended up getting her clean by her sitting on the counter by the sink and just dangling her feet in. Then we moved into the bathtub by putting a plastic chair in the bath with a washcloth to sit on and letting her dangle her feet in there. This went on for about 3 months, then one day, she sat in the tub. The only thing I can think of is that she had her diaper off and pooped one day and I whisked her away into the bathtub, and it scared her. She kept blaming the dog.. it was pretty funny at the time, but for some reason she hated baths after that. Now.. I can't get her out when she takes one. As far as the changing goes? I can't help you there, but there is a lot of good advice on this page! I don't have a suggestion for getting him to like his bath, I just wanted you to know it happened to us too, and a lot of other moms I talked to said the same thing. It is a phase. If we only had a quarter for every time we heard that while raising our kids?? We'd never have to worry about paying for college! hahaha
Good luck and hopefully, it is "just a phase"

J.,
Take another look at how that child is being treated at daycare. It took something to make them change! I don't mean to accuse, just be safe.

My 2 year old had a period where he cried and hated his bath as well. I ended up doing quick baths while he was standing in the tub crying. I put some different toys in the tub to try to coax him in. Every time he leaned down to get them I praised him for almost sitting. I kept encouraging him to sit. It took us about a week or two before he would go in the tub willingly (I used bubble bath to coax him as well). He stood in the tub for quick baths for several weeks. I think it was about a month-six weeks before he actually started to sit down and enjoy his baths again. The only reason we could come up with was a brief conversation I had with him about pooping in the tub. He seemed quite worried that he would poop in it and be in trouble. I had to really reassure him that if he pooped we would just clean it up. I was very matter of fact about it...trying not to make it a big deal. Like I said, it took awhile but eventually it worked.

As for the diaper changing. My son cries if I put him on a change table in public restrooms. He's got enough language now to tell me that he's a little nervous about them. So now I ask if he wants to be changed on the floor or the change table. Yes, the floors are sometimes disgusting but you can always carry a light blanket in the diaper bag and lay him on that. It has really helped us with diaper changing.

Your son is having big feelings about something he cannot identify without your help. You can help by asking him why he is sad and encouraging him to think about why he is crying. He may be crying about something that isn't at all related to bath time ~ like missing his mommy during the day when you are at work.

He would be comforted if you would ask him these kinds of questions: "Are you feeling sad because...
You have to take a bath?"
Mommy is gone at work?"
Daddy is out of town?"
You miss your friends at daycare?"
You have lost your favorite bottle?"

Kids hold onto ideas that make them sad a really long time if they are not able to express them. My kids would cry sometimes for no apparent reason and I would find out that they were sad about something that happened ages ago: they miss the old house we moved out of, they haven't seen their grandmother since Christmas...

A two year old has plenty of things to be sad about. Ask him and you will find your answer.

J., yes this can be tough on you as well, the baby might be feeling your anxiety , maybe he just needs to be held instead of a bath, if they are not romping around in the dirt, he may not need the bath and would rather spend time with mommy, take his needs into consideration, and its ok to not bathe him every day , i know we feel as a good mom we should , but if his needs are to be held and you dont, that is not good either, he knows something is not right, if you are rushed too, he can sense this, take your time and do it on a good day, and maybe he dont like being cold, maybe too your house may be colder than the day cares, get a heater and heat up the room you change him in before you change him or keep it warm, the adjustment to warm in his clothes and the naked air could be uncomfortable to him, hope things work out, take care D. s