2 Yr Old Getting Upset Almost Angry

You may want to try taking some yoga or meditation classes. My practice helps me to create a space between things I react to and my reaction, so I can choose to react more calmly, most of the time...

Hey WOW. I was about to ask... do you react that way when things go awry for you? But you have already made that connection. Doesn't solve it though, huh? Try to remember that when things mess up, and you get aggravated, that truly it is not the end of the world. Usually it's the small things that finally get to us. Try to tell yourself things like, in 6 months, will this matter?
Then, for your daughter, try to help her figure out what is going on. Ask her things when she gets angry. don't just tell her how NOT to react/behave. Show her or lead her to figure out a better way. My son, who is now 10 yrs, I did this, and now he will tell himself and his SISTER the things I used to tell him. For ex.: she'll get mad when one of her "guys" dies when she is playing her Nintendo DS and he'll tell her "if it's making you mad, maybe you should put it up for awhile and do something different... it's supposed to be fun not make you upset."
Ask her what's wrong. "What the problem?" and then wait. Let her explain it to you. She may even need you to help her understand what is so frustrating. That's okay, lead her with that also ("Does the doll keep falling out? And that is frustrating, isn't it? Because you need her to stay in so you can push her around") Then say, "Hmmm. What do you think we could do to fix it?" and then wait. Then if she doesn't have any ideas suggest something. ("What if we _____"). If she stays angry and frustrated, suggest she put it up for awhile and "let's go ____ (color, have some goldfish crackers, outside, get some milk, call Nana on the telephone, whatever"). It will take some work to remind yourself all this stuff. But it is SO worth it. They are constantly challenged with things and part of our job as parents is not necessarily to fix things or solve their problems, but to teach them the skills to do so on their own. The problems start small, like the doll in the stroller. But get much more complex as they grow (my best friend had lunch with my boyfriend without me!). When they can work out most of their problems then they're almost grown up and our job is mostly done.

Mine is 2 and 5 mo, and I noticed that she gets frustrated when she cannot communicate her needs or when her drawings don't turn up the way she'd like. She also gets angry if toys don't cooperate too. I truly believe it's the age where they're struggling for more independence and going to those emotions is a good opportunity to teach them how to handle anger, and like you said, follow your lead. Sometimes my daughter doesn't know how to express what she wants or needs and it might be that she is tired, thirsty and needs to change activities. I'm still learning how to figure out what is it that she wants to tell me and even when I don't usually get an answer, I talk to her and propose a few ideas and sometimes she'll go for them, sometimes shell throw a tantrum. but that's the terrible two's in action.

Taking care of two little ones on top of a job is enough to leave anyone short of sleep and patience. I am impressed with your insight in picking up on your own short temper. You need to make sure to take time to treat yourself to something special once a day--a cup of cappucino, a few drops of perfume in your bath, or a chocolate kiss--and a sense of humor. Instead of yelling, keep a stack of fun projects handy to keep you and your daughter busy and happy: sticker books, magic coloring kits, finger puppet shows, cutting out and coloring paper butterflies and hiding them, going for a walk along the beach, making miniature cookies, reading a book from the library and then re-enacting favorite scenes, cutting out pictures from a magazine, coloring in the crossword puzzles with different coors. Next time something frustrating happens, announce it's time for a surprise, and get to work. You and your daughter will have so much fun you'll forget to be irritated.

Oh, my 3yo boy is the same way. The littlest things set him off. I never knew a small child could be such a perfectionist. Ex.: he was laying his blanket out on the floor the other day at bed time, and there were some wrinkles that he was unable to smooth out completely, and started in on a fit. I calmly smiled and said in a very sweet voice, "you did a wonderful job sweetie, it doesn't have to be perfect." His response? "But I WANT it to be perfect!" I was blown away. I could not believe a 3yo would even care about perfection. I think in some kids it is a personalty thing...maybe a twinge of OCD?

I have started having him count to 10 when he starts to become frustrated. We also practice taking deep breaths to calm down. I practiced this with him when he was not upset, so he knows how to do it and when he does get upset he remembers what to do. The deep breaths at the very least seem to distract him momentarily. I am also trying very hard not to give into him to try to make things perfect for him (like smoothing the blanket, even though I could have). When it is not how he wants it, he has to learn to live with it that way. I can't always be there to make everything perfect for him.

Hi there. Thanks for sharing. As I was reading your post, it might as well have been something that I had written! Lately, we have been trying to teach our daughter to take big breaths. It seems to help calm her down. I also like the other moms suggestions too. Say a little prayer and count to ten! Good luck.

I feel your frustration. I have a 2 year old boy and 4 month old and work full time. I bring the baby to work with me and my 2 year old spends the day at "school" (daycare). I have the same problem with my 2 year old... he gets VERY frustrated and almost angry at the seemingly littlest things. I try to talk with him to help him understand what's upsetting him and find an alternate way of handling it. Basically the same things it sounds like you do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work. The other thing I've been doing lately... usually when I'm frustrated (and I know a lot of people may disagree with the approach but to each his own) I'll ask him if he needs a time out so he can cool off and calm down. He'll usually look at me and say "no time out mommy" and I'll then respond "OK, but you need to try to calm down and deal with your frustrations without getting so upset and throwing things, yelling, etc... " It works well enough that I continue to use that approach. It definitely doesn't always work but I think it's a method that shows him negative behavior doesn't go ignored and also puts them in the driver seat to decide what happens next which encourages the independence and processing skills they ultimately need/want. I'm interested to hear what other moms have to say... but rest assured you are not alone. I do think quite a bit of this is attrituable to the terrible 2s though and they will eventually grow out of it. Good luck to you! We'll both get through it!!

we have the same thing here. i use breathing and teach our daughter the same thing. i also teach her to use words and ask for help.

there is no way your daughter will stop if you do not. you probably never stopped because no one ever taught you how.

Goes to show we are our children's first model. Although we want them to be like ourselves in so many ways, there are some we definitely DON'T want to pass on to them. So it is time for you to correct your ways. Before acting on those little things, take a deep breath and let it out slowly, then do the right thing. You can do it. Good luck.

I can understand- with the economy being what it is , there is quite a large stress factor. The problem is, you will need to deal with your own anger first,then you can deal with hers. One thing that helps me is to say when I'm feeling that anger coming: Why am I REALLY angry-often times its not the little thing I am expressing it towards, its a bigger issue. Then tell your child "Mommy needs time-out,can you play for a while." Then I call a friend,(sometimes that friend is my hubby at work-but try not to do that too often), pray, remind myself to deal with the problem constructively. I really hope this will help.

Usually around this age children will follow/ mimic what we do. This is not unusuall. Do you ever take time for yourself: maybe drop her at grammas, go browsing through the mall or even for a day at the spa. Sometimes being a full time mom can become overwhelming and our hormones take over. A few hours to yourself when ever its good for you will help;I think! Have fun being a mommy dont make everythiing so strenuous. Hope you find a solution...

Unfortunately children are great little copy cats. What triggers your bad moods? Maybe if you can figure out why you react the way you do then you can address your 2 year olds problem. Maybe when you get upset you could take the kids for a walk or pray.

Be blessed

A little about me

I'm a single mom with a soon to be four year old

E.,

Your dauther is only doing what she has learned. Children are sponges and they do and say what they see and hear. You have to set the example for her and she will follow. When you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a time out and start over. It is going to take time, but you will be successful. You are going to have some good days and some not so good days. I have already been there. I have a four year old who used to do the same things. She was so demanding until I thought she was the devil's child. I had to remind myself that I created that monster and I had to destroy the monster. She still have her moments, but instead of acting the way I used to I put her on my lap and explain to her that if she wanted the things that she has asked me for she has to change her attitude and her way of talking. I praise God that it has been a very positive experience thus far. I know she still has some of the residue of her wanting to have her way because I still have some on me. It is going to take God, much prayer, cooperation, and a positive attitude to make it. Be encouraged and know that you are not alone. There are others who have survived this stage and so will you. Be encouraged and seek God and He will see you through.

PRAY, PRAY, PRAY---for guigance on being a good parent, for help in controlling your own anger, for help in being a good example-for any and every little thing you need---

Go to BibleGateway.com and enter the word "anger" then hit "king james version"
All the scriptures of anger will come up.
Read and apply through prayer. It works.

Evangelist S. F.C.
Anger is an emotion that can get out of control and fall into an area of sin.
Anger is an emotion that can be harnest for good, but the child must be trained to have self control.
P.S. email if you have any questions about this
God bless.