2 Yr Old Son

K., I cant help with the potty training because both of my boys where very hard to potty train. They just didnt want to do it at all. My oldest son was 2 1/2 when my second son was born and I tried everything and he just wouldnt do it. As far as the bottle. What I did with my oldest son is, I told him that the new baby would need all the bottles, so we took a bag and put all the bottles in there, and then I know this is really really bad and some of you moms might hell at me but, I started puttting chocolate milk into his sippy cup. Because I couldnt get rid of those bottles either. He wouldnt drink anything out of a sippy cup, I mean nothing. But the chocolate milk worked for some reason. So it just worked and I stuck with it....Good Luck witht his bottle and potty training thing and the new baby.

I would not recommend potty training yet unless he is really showing a strong interest himself. Boys just train later than girls and you don't want a bed wetter. My boys were 2 years and 8 months apart and I tried training my oldest before the second was born and did not have any luck. It was too early for him. Also, children newly potty trained can have a tendency to regress when there is a new baby introduced into the family. When I did potty train him when my baby was a couple months old it was such a breeze. I think he had one pee pee accident in his big boy undies and that was it! On the other hand, my friend tried to force train her boy when she had a baby coming and he has been a bed wetter since.

As for the bottle. Take it away. He should not have a bottle of milk at bedtime, he will have problems with his teeth later. A couple harsh nights will be worth the peace later especially when the new baby comes. Weening children from anything isn't fun stuff but it just has to happen. Good luck!

You can't pottie train until he's off the bottle and paci. It doesn't work. You have to be strong mom. Don't give in to him now or you'll have a terriable time later. Don't give him any drink before bed. Give him apple slices or something juicy and he'll get the liquid there.

K., I don't think 2 is that old to still have a pacifier. My daughter easily gave hers up at 3. My son was very reluctant to give up his bottle (I think he was well over 2) until we found a sippy cup he really liked. We ended up with a Playtex one that had a softer spout. It's a soothing thing - my son STILL wants his milk every morning in a sippy cup and he likes to relax on the couch with one sometimes too. It's not hurting anything and it's comforting so, why not? Plus when a new baby is coming and you're preparing yourself and your home, etc., why rock the boat? If he doesn't stop using the bottle for a while it's not a big deal. He's still just a baby. Some mom's won't agree with me, but I didn't push potty training until my children were closer to 3 and things went quite smoothly because they were ready. Good luck and remember "choose your battles". :)

You need to take back control. Your two year old is making the rules with thw bottle. Yes, you will feel bad, but it is time to hide the bottles, get a sippy cup (favorite theme on it) or cup with straw, put the milk in, and if he wants it he will drink it. As it is now, he is making the rules with you and knows you will follow them. As far as the nuk, if he doesn't have it all the time, I would say you are okay. With my daughter, we did one thing at a time, gave it up for nap first and then found something soothing for her to have instead and then took it away from bedtime. She still has one of my shirts she picked to sleep with and a teddy bear. Just finding something else for them to relax with or feel secure with.

You have already received some good advice but I feel I need to chime in as well. You shouldn't freak out about any of this. Your son is doing just fine. Sometimes as parents we try to adhere to "what should be done at such and such age". There are no rules, just guidelines and remember EVERY child is different! If you son finds comfort in his pacifier and he isn't walking around with it 24/7 then you have nothing to worry about. It will NOT hurt his teeth or speech when he has it for such limited time. He may also need this comfort when the new baby comes because of all the changes. Also, the bottle at night is fine. Some people nurse and in some cultures the children have a bottle until 5! There is nothing wrong with the nightime bottle as long as he is not sleeping with it and brushes his teeth before bed. If these things are not harmful and they are a comfort to you son then don't push the issue. You can gradually work on weaning him off both even if it's after the baby is born. Maybe he could put it all in a box and decorate the box and give it to the baby as a gift. In any case, don't implement too many changes at once. It will be hard for both him and you and neither one of you needs the stress.
As far as potty training goes again it is different for each kid. Unless he is really showing interest don't push it. It could be very discouraging and end up backfiring. Many boys don't even start potty training until 2 1/2 or 3 and it takes time. I've potty trained a boy and a girl and the girl was much much easier for whatever reason.
Please don't get discouraged. You are doing great! Talk to him about how fun it will be for him to be the big brother instead of all the thinks he needs to give up. And remember that this is not a control issue. It's a matter of doing things in a manner that is fitting to your child's own needs.
Best wishes to you and your family!

Hi K.,

For potty training, you must begin by introducing the concept of using the toilet instead of the pull up for elimination. I'm sure your 2 yr old is talking by now, so you must teach the terminology you wnat him to use to inform you he needs to go. Scheduling elimination is next--in the morning right out of the bed, just before bed in the evenings, before and after meals, just before leaving home and immediately upon arrival at whatever the destination are key times in the scheduling process. Think about whatever are normal times for most people to use the toilet--those are appropriate times. Be consistent and encouraging.

Rewards are also important for encouragement. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate--a chart and a sticker system to record his successes is good. Find stickers of favorite cartoon characters or favorite activities. If not, shiny colored stars are always good. Make a chart especially for his potty training. A calendar with pictures of his favorite characters might work well.

Use the stickers to indicate success informing you and using the potty appropriately. It may mean just a few stars or stickers in a day, or it may mean several. At the end of each week, count the nubmer of stars or stickers. Agree on a weekly reward--maybe a favorite treat or a favorite activity.

Be patient and know that it will all work out. Let me know how it works!

Good Luck!

Hi K.!
You need some help modifying your behavior. There are lots of behavioral therapy resources out there. Sounds like you are intimidated by your 2 year old. Time to transition to a sippy cup or straw cup. It will help with speech development too. Nothing wrong with letting the kid cry it out. He does it because you react to it and he gets his way. Make your life easier with two and learn to make the right choices NOW -- it is your sanity at stake.
Good luck!
S. in Lisle

You said you are freaking out-----don't. You're good--just time to make some changes if that is what you decide. I am a somewhat seasoned mother of 5, but always feeling like something new is coming up that I don't know how to deal with or forgot how to deal with!!! Keep this in mind--our pediatricians and girlfriends have great stories and benchmarks about weaning from and training for everything, but there are not a lot of set rules (I won't say none, but not a lot). Try making changes gradually for your 2 year old--these are sources of comfort that he has come to rely on...and, keep in mind, as a general rule, the longer you wait, the harder it is to make the changes that will eventually have to come. This may help you put the change in perspective at least

The potty training is a toss up--he could train quick and easy. Nevertheless, keep in mind with all of this that he may sense the new one coming and resist some changes...

Best of luck!!!

It's okay, don't worry. My little ones were 4 years and 21 months when the new baby came. I knew things would be tough, so I didn't sweat the small stuff. I use to rock my little guy down for nap, but knew with the new baby I wouldn't always be able to. So I let him start sleeping with a bottle at nap. At night dad is home so there are two of us and we can rock him down and then take the bottle away so he's not sleeping with it. I knew he would need the comfort of his bottle if we were away over night when we had the baby. There is only so much you can do with more than one little one in the home. Your child will need as much rountine and comfort as possible, with things changing so much with the new baby. Try not to change things that aren't necessary. Potty training can definitly wait. My first was 3 1/2 before she was potty trained, but when it happened she was just ready. It's easier to change a few extra diapers than to deal with accidents right now. And again the amount of change he will experience will be high enough already. If you do think one of these things really needs to change, then go for it. But don't do it because of outside pressure. Give yourself some grace.

Calm down! Who really cares about all that stuff? Really!! When your son is 5/6 you won't even remember at what age he gave up the paci or bottle. Seriously. My daughter used her paci for a long time...more like 3 years old. I can't even remember how we got her to stop. I think she kept chewing holes in them and when we got to the last one, I just told her she was done, I wasn't going to buy anymore. She was fine with that. And the bottle of milk is always the last bottle to go. For some reason kids have a hard time giving up the milk bottle. Maybe you can persuade him to give all his bottles to the new baby as a gift. Or you could just be firm/strict and only put his milk in a sippy cup from now on until he 'gives in' As for potty training, is he showing interest? Boys are supposed to be harder than girls. My son who will be 3 saturday has absolutely NO interest in using the toilet. It is driving me crazy, but I am not pushing/forcing him. If he's not ready, he's not ready. That is how I feel anyway. I am trying to keep a laid back attitude otherwise I would be crazy. Good luck and try not to stress the small stuff.

I know I am probably too laid back about this, but I want to say that it's ok to have two babies -- a two year old baby and a newborn.

It is tempting to get your two year old "all grown up" before the new baby comes: no more bottle, pacifier, and diapers. Ask yourself if that is what HE needs. If he is growing, happy, and secure, don't you think you are actually doing really well already?

When baby brother comes along, might the paci actually help comfort your two year oldas he makes the adjustment to big brother? Is it actually hurting him to drink a milk bottle? If you have to change two kids' diapers for 6 months, is that really a big deal? If he is not ready to potty train, do you want to argue with a two year old about pee and poop?

You may be putting more pressure on yourself to get your toddler ready. When my first born was about to become a big sister (at 2 years and 10 months), I tried so hard to get her ready. She seemed so big compared to the newborn baby. Now I look at pictures of her and she was still a baby too. She did get potty trained when she was ready and it "clicked", but she kept her paci for security during an exciting and stressful time in our lives when her baby sister came home.

You will have two wonderful little boys -- if they are happy and healthy and you are sane and content, you can worry about diapers, bottles, and pacifiers in their own time.

dear K., 1st i would like to say, calm down. and i dont mean that in a bad way, but it is not good for you or your unborn boy. i know exactly how you feel. i was in your spot about 1 yr ago. i am also 26, married and have a 2 1/2 yr. old daughter, and a 7 month old baby boy. but last year my daughter was 1 1/2, still had a paci, but we called it a binky. and she was also not potty trained. so this is what i did. i did try to potty train before i had the baby, which he was due 10-31-07. but it was not successful, and i just thought that i was getting bigger and it would happen at the right time. they will not be in diapers for the rest of their lives. i tried different things. one thing i did read was to make a "special" trip to the store to buy underwear and make it a big deal. than to put the undies on under the diaper,and when they pee, he will feel the wetness. the thing that i did was, in january this year 2008, my son was 3months old and i was changing a poopy diaper of his, and then my daughter also had one. it was disgusting. if she can tell me when she pooped or bring me the diaper, that was it. i told my hubby i dont want to change any more "adult" poop diapers. so i moved the potty chair to the living room. that is where we spent most of our time. i just put a towl underneath it, so if she didn't make it it wouldnt go on the carpet. and she took to it very well. much better than i had ever thought. i also didn't put undies on her right away, i just let her run naked. that way she would get used to the urge to have to pee and just come and do it. the pulling the pants up and down will come later, and of couse it did. sometimes they want to dump it in the toliet, and its okay. they need to see how it all works, just wash hands when done.
the paci thing. wow, i know exactly how you feel. that also was just given up around jan/feb. this year. i tried a couple of times to take it away, but i was big pregnant and very tired, so i just gave in. what my daughter(genevieve) would do is when she would get mad, she would throw it and then cry even more. so one day i was rocking my son(julian) in the living room and my daughter was haveing a fit in her room. well of course she threw it behing her bed, and then came to me and said " mom hehe" and then put her arms up like where did it go? i knew that it was behind her bed. this was nothing new. so i just thought that i would move her bed and say that it wasn't there. so i did. and i found her a stuffed animal that she hadn't seen in a long, long time and when she would ask for her binky i would give that to her. i told her that her binky went to another little girl who needed it. she cried a little, and the next couple days were a little rough, but you can do it. you will get through it, just find lots of things to distract him along the way. and when i had my son, instead of calling it a binky w/ him, i call it a pacifier. she is very good w/it.
the bottle thing, sorry not too much advice to offer w/ that one. maybe try giving him chocolate milk a little w/ your finger in his mouth than give him a sippy cup or maybe go straight to the regualr cup. or get him a cup w/ his favorite characters on it. i will be doing the same for julian soon. i wish you the best of luck, and i really hope that my advice will help you some way. please email me if you have any more questions, and keep me posted, if you want.
____@____.com
my name is C.

Well this won't help but maybe it will make you feel a little bit better that ....YOU"RE NOT the only one. I'm going through the same thing with my two yr. old boy. I'm just not pregnant with another one! I think we kind of just need to slowly work away the "binky". There's times he'll see it during the day when I don't want him to have it and I just hide it or change his mind. Like a snack or something. As far as the potty training!!!! OMG......it will happen one day! I put him on and he just sits there, I even tried making him wear underware......he peed in those. But I figured he wouldn't like that and would immeadiatley want to take them off.....but he waited a while before he told me he was wet. So that will also just take some time. That's why I'm not ready for another one just yet. I need to get my little one right where I want him, then we can talk about doing it all again! But don't worry, some Mom's are made to handle all that at once! Good luck...........

WHOA! That's definitely overwhelming, but my first advice is to STOP FEELING BAD!!! Your son is 2 years old, and he knows how to manipulate (and you are letting him manipulate you with his tantrums!). You need to tell him that he will NOT get milk unless he drinks it from a cup, and do not back down!!! Put the bottles away and out of view, and tell him they're gone. He may refuse the milk and throw fits for a few days or even a week or two, but his health will not suffer from being deprived of milk for a short period of time. He will eventually come around if you are consistent.

I'm not sure if I would worry about the pacifier yet, especially with a new baby coming. As you grow and change as a family with a new baby, and your son becomes a big brother, you can start having discussions about losing the pacifier since he's a big brother now. I don't think that's as big of a deal to worry about now and all at once with everything else.

Potty training - couldn't tell you since my three year old still refuses to be completely potty-trained. My brother-in-law swears by putting their son on the potty after every meal. He regularly had a pooh-pooh, and he now tells them when he has to go, because it feels weird for him to go in his diaper. He naturally adjusted and did the same for pee pee too. I wish I could say it was that easy for me, but I have tried everything, and my strong-willed son just won't budge. We'll see when he decides he's ready - probably when he starts getting made fun of. :o(

The only thing I will say is not to do too much transition with your child all at once. It seems like you are in a rush to grow him up a bit so that you won't be as overwhelmed when #2 comes along--hence the reason you are "freaking out". I totally understand that. Just be prepared for him to still be in diapers or pull-ups when your baby comes. Some overlap is pretty inevitable according to my friends with multiple children who all had similar aspirations. Chances are, too, that he knows something is up and maybe senses that he won't be the center of attention anymore and so is holding onto baby things. All I'm saying is, although I can see the logic in what you are doing and wish you success, don't be too upset with him if these things don't go as you plan. Changing even one thing before the baby comes would be a great success! :D Blessings

Perhaps you can start him on the path to being a "Little-Big Boy", it helps if he has an older cousin or neighbor as an example. It could be little things like taking him with you to buy a new sippy cup of his choice, because "big boys" use sippy cups - "bottles are for little babies", then only offer him milk in a ____@____.com, maybe he could help pick out something new for his "Big boy" bed. I found that taking my older child(ren) to pick out a new gift for them to give the new baby when he/she was born, really helped. Watch for clues of something he really likes that his new baby brother can give him too.

The pacifier will be harder to break, after lots of encouragement we gave ours to the "Poor, sick babies @ the hospital" after the shock of a new sibling had worn off. (You'll find that sometimes the older child regresses & this is perfectly normal) And honestly 2years is a little young for a boy to potty train, so don't go nuts trying. I know that having two in diapers is tough (I had 2girls 18mos. apart w/a 4yr old son , so I had 2 in diapers & 1 in an overnight pull-up), but it'll be fine.

The best advice that I read & took was to loudly announce (for the benefit of the older child) when the baby was crying (fussing) that they had to wait their turn because I was busy helping their older sibling. It made my older child feel valued & helped to set the groundwork for taking turns/sharing. I also tried to read or snuggle with my older children) when breastfeeding their younger sibs.

Good Luck!

Slow down. It'll be okay. Don't worry about the pacifier, bottles, or potty training. Sounds like you're putting WAY too much pressure on yourself with deadlines. Those are 3 big things to change...especially with the huge change of a new baby entering the picture. Perhaps pick one for now to try to phase him out of, but just follow his cues. You'll make life a lot less stressful for all of you if you just relax about it all. If he still uses a pacifier for sleep of freak outs until he's 3 he'll be just fine! If bottles are the way he drinks milk, then let him have a bottle. Hopefully you can still brush his teeth after he's finished the bottle. And go easy on potty training and just introduce a little potty. Let him explore it and get used to the idea. He'll let you know when he's ready. None of these require an immediate response before he's 3 years old. It'll be okay...really! And congratulations on coming baby #2!

I would start with taking away the bottle. Take him to the store to pick out a couple sippee cups for "big boys". If he picks them out, he is more likely to use them. Explain to him that only babies use bottles and he is a "big boy" now. After he masters that, take away the pacifier. I have 3 kids that all used them. I think they are great, but believe me, it is easier if you do it now. It only takes about 3 days and he will be done. I dreaded taking it away, but it is so much better for them now. You will be surprised how easy it is. I would wait for potty training. You don't want to push that unless HE is really ready. Boys usually take longer to learn. I have a 10 year old boy that took forever to learn because we started too early. My other two kids were easy because we didn't start till after 3 years old. Yours might regress after the baby comes anyway so why start too many things. I hope that helps. Enjoy your one on one time with your son. You will love having 2 boys. My boys are best friends at 9 and 10. Take care and good luck with everything.

Stress, exhaustion and just the mere idea of friction can cause us to choose the path of least resistance. I think that is where you are right now.... it sounds like you are choosing the path of least resistance... I cannot blame you... I reach that point about 5 times a day with various aspects of my life... not just with my kids. Life is a juggling act - some of us have more balls in the air than others. It sounds like you are trying to put more in the air than you really need to. Pick your battles, and decide what is most important right now... bottles? stand your ground, be firm but make him want to change it... tell him he's getting to be a big boy, and bottles are for babies.... etc. Or pack up all the bottles and hide them... get spill [roof sippy cups and say thats all he gets, there are no more bottles.. ask him to help you look for them... he will see for himself that there are none.... just cups.

Then work on the paci, but I really dont think all these changes are good nor are they necessary... dump the bottle then work on getting him excited to have a baby brother, and prepare him for that change - this is a huge one for him....

Potty training a girl is easier... i won't lie. it's not because of their parts, or because they're smarter - not saying that at all.. .fact is, boys potty train later than girls typically. Now of course there are exceptions, but most of the time, the boys just are not ready at 2. If he has no interest, it will take you twice as long, and be twice as hard. I don't have any plans on starting my son potty training until at least 2 1/2. UNLESS, he shows interest earlier. in your case, that would be right around the time new baby is born... so hold off. I remember hearing when you restrict fluids before bed, and they wake up with a nearly dry diaper,... they are ready to be potty trained. My daughter would sleep so heavily, she wasn't overnight trained until almost 5 - the signals to pee just weren't waking her...

So, pick your battles mom... one step at a time, and relax.. no kid went off to college drinking a bottle at bedtime...

as for the paci - I dunno... I am sure most would disagree... but unless he is walking around with it all day long, I see no harm in letting him have it for a while. he finds comfort in it... My dentist told me that it doesn't start doing damage to their mouth until about 5 yrs old, and even at that, it needs to be in their mouth a lot. If your son is like my kids, they keep it in until they fall asleep, then it falls out. I typically leave the paci in their bed, because that's where they use it. Give him some time on that one.

Good luck to you K.. congrats on #2 :)

Don't let pacifiers or bottles worry you. As my pediatrician once said, he won't take his bottle to school with him. My son had apple juice in a bottle at naptime until he was 5!
My daughter and I agreed when she turned 4 she'd throw away her pacifier and she tossed it in the garbage on her 4th birthday and never asked for it again. She only used it for bedtime. So, not to worry...when they're old enough, and it's their time, it will be over.

lol, take a BIG breath! and then pick one thing. In 4 months, chances are that your son is going to revert back a little anyway because of the stress of the new baby, so pick one that you think will be an easier and more quickly won situation. For example, perhaps you could tackle the pacifier or bottle situation, as both of those can be fairly easily replaced with something else. The blow to both of these is that if you introduce baby to pacifier/bottle at birth, your son is probably going to want both back again for a short time. I try to keep the long term in mind... is it really detrimental that he reverts? No, it just means that he needs some more positive attention and love. Is it really the end of the world that he isn't potty trained by the time the new baby arrives? Shrugs. It means more diapers, but it means more time for you to spend with the kids since you won't be cleaning up accidents. Is it really a problem for you that he still wants the bottle/pacifier, or are you concerned about public sentiment? He's only going to be a baby once, and he won't use either forever! :D
I would try offering hugs and snuggles and a book or something else distracting in moments of need to replace the pacifier, but I would also try to remember that it's a self-soothing thing and if he won't give it up, he hasn't learned other ways to self-sooth yet.
Similarly, I would try to encourage him to use a cup when awake, and to find other ways to put him to sleep to get rid of the bottle - maybe have the milk at the table with a snack before naptime?
And the potty training...well, I guess I would look for the signs before I pushed that one. Especially with a little one on the way.

Relax! It sounds like you've got a lot going on right now, and your son certainly picks up on that too! Like another poster said, all of these things will happen eventually. I would pick one, two at most, to focus on before the baby comes. Potty training only if he has shown a lot of interest already, and seems like he can hold it for a long time! Sometimes it is easier to train in the summer because of less clothes, more time in the yard where accidents don't matter, etc. But, that is a lot of work for you. As long as you get it done before he starts a pre-school that won't take him unless he's trained, that really doesn't matter either. I have a little girl who is turning 5 in two weeks. Just last night, my husband reminded me that we made her give up her bedtime bottle just last year on her 4th birthday! She just loved it so much that we couldn't make ourselves take it away. No tantrums or anything like that, but it was so relaxing for her. She never slept with it, she would just hang out for a couple of minutes before bedtime on the sofa with us, drink the bottle, go brush her teeth, and then off to bed. But, she loved it. I don't see any harm. If now turns out to be a stressful time for you to make any changes because of the pregnancy or something else, don't worry about it because these things will all take care of themselves later. Good luck!

I have to agree. Who says you have to start potty training? Are you pressuring yourself because you don't want two in diapers? You are going to get even more frustrated and freaked out when you push your son into potty training and he is not ready. I have three and let me tell you, they all go through a phase where they talk about the potty, they may even tell you when they have to go, but it does not mean they are ready to handle the whole "potty" thing. You need to take a deep breath and concentrate on enjoying your son and your pregnancy. It is scary at first, but you will see that with kids, there are no rules, just rules of thumb. You can try to guess what is best, and follow the books, but every kid, and I mean every kid, is different and has their own set of rules. I would try to get the paci away, if he is willing. If not, let it be. You need to opt for what works best for you and know that even though you are having two little boys close together, they will be great buds. Learn to laugh a little at the every day stuff that little boys are made of. For a reality check, try renting Parenthood, with Steve Martin. It will make you love being a parent all over again. Good luck! You're in for one heck of a ride! :)

My sons are 22 months apart. My oldest was 27 months when we took his paci away. He only used it at night and freak out moments too. We were originally going to do it before the baby was born, but figured he would be going through enough emotions and that it would help him get through the transition of being a "big brother." We did it cold turkey. One Friday after day care, it just "disappeared", The first night he cried, but not too bad. I rocked him, told him how much I loved him, and that he was such a big boy. After about 20 minutes he fell asleep and we never looked back. By the time he went to day care on Monday it was a distant thought. This may be an exception to the rule, but we were lucky that it went fairly easy. Now my little one is 15 months and we are looking to get rid of his in the next few months. Here we go again. As far as the bottle goes, have you tried the Nubby cup. My 15 month old wouldn't drink milk out of a cup until I got this cup. The spout is really soft so I guess it sort of feels like a bottle to them. My 3 year old still asks for milk before he has a nap and before he goes to bed. I just make him either swish water or brush his teeth before he lays down. Not sure when I will be able to get rid of this. Is your son acting ready for potty training? If not, don't rush him. My son just turned 3 on April 27th and we are almost there. We go days when he is completely dry and then we have days when he will have 3 accidents in one day. He is getting better at going himself indtead of me reminding him every hour. It takes time and that is something that I had to get used to. Potty training seems to be more frustrating for me than him, but I make sure that I don't show that to him because it really upsets him when he doesn't make it to the potty. If he is ready to start them get a kitchen timer. Start by setting it every 30 minutes. This worked good for my son. When the buzzer went off he started running to the bathroom. A sticker chart worked for us and I put a jar of something (M&Ms, jelly beans, fruit snacks) by the toilet so that he got something everytime he went. It is exciting for them. Make a big deal about it, you should be his biggest fan. Good luck

Take a deep breath.... People make such a big deal of when kids should be doing what, and it just doesn't matter. A pacifier is a bit of comfort your child will outgrow. He's not going to go to college with it. There are lots of different plans for potty training. Flip through a few, pick one you like, and STICK WITH IT. But be sure he's ready to do it. A lot of people now aren't potty training boys until 3. Shrug off people's comments about what your son should or shouldn't be doing by now. Kids do things at different speeds, but they all get there eventually. Congrats on your new baby!

K.,
I can understand how your worried but don't be. I have a 5yo, 3yo and 3 month old. From experience, boys are harder to potty teach and don't force him. Two is still young my 3 year old isn't potty trained yet but is showing signs of being ready he just is lazy (lol). If you do potty teach him and are successful he may regress by having lots of accidents when the new baby comes, congrats by the way. In my opinion, whatever way you can get him to drink milk then so be it. My 3 year old doesn't drink milk unless it's chocolate milk. Why do you "need" to start potty training. If your child isn't ready he's not ready and like I said 2 is young especially for a boy so don't expect to be successful right away. Everything is going to be just fine I would focus on preparing him for a new baby (dolls, etc) or holding other kids so he gets used to that, I think holding other kids is the hardest for kids that age. HTH and good luck.
-J.

Hi K.,

I am due in late August and in some of the same situations as you. I got rid of the bottle when my son turned 2 and yes they will stop drinking milk but it is short lived. I would say of all your worries that is the only one you need to worry about since it will affect his teeth. As for the pacifier, my son is 27 months and uses it for naps/bedtime only and I do not plan to wean him before the baby comes. I have chosen to pick other issues to work on instead. As for potty training, like the others said, if he isn't showing signs of readiness there is nothing you can do. If he is fine go for it and start slowly. I am currently doing it with my son but he has MANY sings of readiness so it makes sense for us. However, it may not happen by August and he may regress and I will just have to deal. I would say pick one item and work on it. If you have more time and aren't too tired or stressed pick another item after that. Good luck and I know how overwhelmed you feel, I am in the same boat. Good luck!!

PS You may just want to spend the next few months spending quality time before your little guy isn't an only child anymore :)

Hi!
It sounds like a harried time for you! I would say relax. You have a lot going on right now. First and most importantly imo, don't start something that you cannot follow through on. It is more important to follow through than to start then let it fall through, start again and let it fall through than to just see it to the end. If he's only taking a pacifier at sleep time then I wouldn't worry about it. Pacifiers cause speech and dental problems when they are in a childs mouth constantly and so much that they are talking around them. As far as the bottle, if you are cleaning his teeth after the bottle then at least you are lessening the chance for him to get bottle rot. If you are giving him a bottle because you feel he will be missing out health wise by not drinking milk then don't worry. The need for milk is greatly overexaggerated. There are many ways to get the same nutrients as milk, and children don't actually need that much. A cube of cheese and some yogurt basically meets the same requirements. Someone commented that some cultures nurse and bottle feed until 5. It is true that many cultures nurse well into childhood, but bottlefeeding is not in that category, since prolonged bottlefeeding is seen as detrimental both dentally and orally. If you're keeping it for comfort than I'd say go ahead and wait until he's a bit more ready after the baby. He might connect it with baby behaviors and give it up on his own. If you give it to him b/c you think he'll lack nutritionally then you don't have to give it to him anymore. Also, can he self soothe without it? Can he sleep without it?

Potty training is a hard call, you have to know your son and what might work for him.My son was 2 years and 4 months when I trained him. I wouldn't have known he could if I hadn't of tried. He was one of those kids that could do it but didn't care if he was in a diaper, either. I bought a ton of gerber training underwear and just went for it.

Good luck!!

ha! ha! First take a breath!! Now... he's NOT too old. Why push him to grow up just because a baby is coming?? He'll not go off to school on a bottle and paci! Trust me!! If he wants that right now; let him! He's only 2! My oldest was almost 3 before she gave up the bottle and my 2nd DD was the same with her paci! My DS was SO attached that one night (he was well into his third year) the paci fairy came and took it! ha! ha! He was ok with that, kinda.... good luck! He'll give that up when he's ready. Just enjoy your one on one time with him right now before baby comes!!!!!! ;)

Mom to four great kids!!

I say take it in stride. My newborn was born a month after my daughter's 3rd b-day. I decided a newborn was a big change and to let the other things fall into place. Big Sis still sleeps w/her binky (and Dad gives it to her during the day, luckily only the weekends, grrrr...). I can sense though that she is getting closer to agreeing that she is going to give up the binky soon. She potty trained about 2 weeks before #2 arrived. We still have our share of accidents. I finally just sucked it up and put her in underwear and pulled every last bit of patience while changing the umpteenth-pair of underwear over a short period. We still do pull ups at night but it's about a month and a half later and often times the pull up is dry in the morning. She goes to bed every night with a sippy of juice - we split it 1/2 juice and 1/2 water but she won't go to bed without, and frankly she needs the hydradtion. So, I would not let these things bug you, just let them fall into place on their own timetables. You don't need any more stress while you are prego. Good Luck!

We took our son's bottle away for the nap feeding first (totally fine) and just last week for nighttime. We offer him a sippy cup with milk. Yes, he threw a fit at first. Sometimes he drinks it, sometimes not, but it's not an issue. I've started giving him milk with meals, which I never did before, but he's a good eater and doesn't interfere. I also give him dairy foods like yogurt and cheese as much as possible. You may want to see how much milk he should be drinking at this age and compensate accordingly, but at 2 he won't need as much as when he was younger. He's throwing a fit because you're taking away something familiar, but it's appropriate for him to have ditched the bottle now.

My son still has the pacifier for the same situations you mention, and we've decided not to fight that battle until he's older. His ped. and speech therapist say it hasn't impacted his development, so it's a non-issue for him.

As for the potty training, most boys in particular aren't ready until three (some later), and they have to show you they're ready before it will work. I think this is one battle you may want to put off until next year after the new baby is around. You may see a lot of regression in your older son, so fewer things to argue about. You've got enough stress already! :)

Hi K.,
I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old and I went through a similar panic. My advise to you is to just tackle one thing at a time. Take the biggest issue first, perhaps the bottle. Then work on the next thing like the pacifier. My son had his paci until he was almost 3! He was over it within a few days. I was also interested in pottytraining before baby #2 came, but my dr. advised me not to start it before the baby came. He said it would be a waste of time b/c my son would regress once the new baby came and to wait several months after the baby arrived. But, if you fell he is really ready, it can't hurt to try, but I wouldn't push it. I'm glad I waited b/c it took awhile for us all to adjust and the last thing I needed to worry about was if my son had wet himself. We pottytrained him after his 3rd b-day and it went well. Good luck to you, it will all work out!!

Just one more thing about the bottle, since a few people said start with that (getting rid of it) and I agree. My daughter was the same way and finally I had had enough and tossed the bottles. Like my pediatrician said, kids won't starve themselves. They'll just slowly learn who is in control (mommy) and get over it. Whining never worked on me anyway, and when she whined for her bottle I just gave her the sippy cup and told her she was a big girl. It took a little while, but she got over it very quickly. One step at a time. No freaking out or you'll be doing it forever! The challenges never go away, they just change as kids age and you need to go with the flow or you'll drive yourself insane! Deep breath now!

Just relax.. The next year may be overwhelming for you. I was in your exact positon just a few years ago. My children are now 3.5 and 2. In my opinion start prepping your 2 year old for his new brothers arrival. Show him where his new brother will be sleeping, show him how to change a diaper( or help change a diaper)-I used an old doll to show him- I tried to make him understand how small is new brother was going to be and that he needed to be gentle, etc.. Still after all the prepping, when I brought the new baby home my 2 year was a monster. He did anything for attention. It was a HUGE adjustment. Because I gave the baby a bottle the 2 year old wanted a bottle, as far a potty training, my 2 year old wanted his diapers changed just like the baby. The 2 year old wanted to be rocked to sleep just like the baby etc... I too was worried because my 2 year old was still drinking out of a bottle and not potty trained. But everything happens in time. Today life is much better but those first 6 months after bringing home a new baby with a 2 year old at home is tough.

i think 2 may be a little young to teach a boy potty trianing unless he is showing signs. I always pick a week to stay home and let them run around with no diaper making him more aware of the privates. I highly recommend stop the bottle- cold turkey ASAP. long before baby comes. there may be a few days he goes without milk and thats ok- he can get his calcium sorce from other foods. let him throw a fit- you are mom and its okay to feel guilty but you are doing it for him so there really is nothing to feel guilty. I had to really stop and learn- sometimes, I am sad, angry etc.. and its ok for your child to have these feelings too. we shouldnt deprive them of these normal emotions.

I have two babies, my daughter is 22 months and my younger daughter is 10 months. I also use to work with infants and toddlers, and my first piece of advice is to take a breath and calm down! Growing up comes with time. Encourage sippy cups and try to remove the binkies when your son is happy or talking. My older daughter still uses a binky, and she loves to drink her little sister's bottles when she is done with her formula. It is perfectly normal, every child develops at their own pace. When your new baby comes, your 2 year old will probably regress a bit, but that is common as well. As for the potty training, wait until your son is old enough to understand a little more. Many boys are not potty trained until they are three. If you wait until your son understands, you will avoid a lot of confusion and frustration.