2 Yr Won't Sleep More Then 5 Hrs at Night

Updated on February 04, 2009
J.W. asks from North Hills, CA
21 answers

My 2 yr old son, which since 6 weeks old has been a great sleeper, has recently refused to sleep through the night. He takes about and 1 and 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon and then goes down for the night around 9pm. The last week (the previous week he was very ill with a virus) it has been horrible, he wakes up at 1 or 2 in the morning and does not want to go back to sleep. When he does got back to sleep its around 4 or 5 am and wants to sleep till 9 or 10. who wouldn't love that but I prefer him to sleep at night. Should I get rid of the afternoon nap? is he getting to much sleep?

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,

Okay, so here's my thoughts...what time does he take his nap? If it's late in the day, and thus why you are putting him to bed later he may not be able to get quality sleep because he's just too tired when he does fall asleep. Like Susan wrote, overtired kids may fall asleep but will have trouble maintaining good sleep at night.

I had to adjust my son's nap to suit his sleep needs...so, he naps at 12:30pm after lunch and I don't let him nap longer than 3pm then, bedtime routine starts at 7pm and we're in bed by 8pm and he's usually able to get himself to sleep.

Here's the thing though, if he's been sick...ALL BETS ARE OFF. My son is sick right now (Croup...yuck) and we stick to the same routine, and don't falter. Even if he doesn't fall asleep until later we maintain the staying in bed and relaxing until he does doze off...same goes with the nap. Even if he doesn't sleep it's important that he rests.

It will take time for him to regain his routine, and that's okay. Just be patient and understanding, and guide him back to the routine slowly and with consistency. It takes the body almost two weeks after being sick to completely recover from the effects of the cold/virus.

Good Luck!

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,

Start by making the naps shorter to help him get usto not having a nap... by taking them completely away for good in 1 try will disrupt him and make him even more moody...

Good luck... and remember little by little elliminate that nap which will give you more rest.

He might just be getting too big for naps.

C.

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G.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Welcome to my world! My daughter is 2 years, 2 months and started waking in the middle of the night at 2 years old asking for me. Dad and I now take turns each night going in and laying with her in the recliner (a great help), sometimes having to give her a bottle if she has not eaten much during the day. I have no problem with sleeping in her room on the floor, but dad is now going out in the living room and sleeping on the futon so I get a good night's sleep every other night. We don't want her sleeping in our bed and there's not enough room anyway. I actually seem to be getting enough sleep when I sleep in her room because I fall asleep in the recliner with her by about 8:00-8:30 and then when I wake I move the floor. At around 1:00 or so she will wake up and last night, for instance, I think she was up for 2 hours. Eventually she went to sleep and we woke up at 6:30. Anyway, I'm in her room Monday and Wednesday nights, dad takes over Tuesday and Thursday nights. We both work full-time. I get to wash my hair on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings.

She started preschool a month ago, so I'm expecting her to constantly have a cold for a good 6 months so having her sleep in the recliner with her head up or in her toddler bed with a couple of pillows under her head helps.

Just so you know, I was a single mom with my son for 8 years (he's 16 now) and he slept with me up until my current husband came along. By then he was almost 9 years old!

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J., I am a Sleep Consultant and I want to give you some advice. Do not give up the nap, he should still take a nap for at least another year. What you need to do is put him to bed earlier. I know it sounds crazy but he is waking up because he is going to bed over tired. At his age his nap should be from about 12-1:30 or 2:00, definitely don't put him down for a nap later than 2:00 and bed time should be at 7:00. Sleep begets sleep, the more you sleep the better you sleep. Over tiredness causes night wakings, also be careful about too much stimulation close to bedtime, like TV. No TV within an hour of bedtime. Good Luck,
K. Smith
www.theindependentchild.com

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

The routine I have for my 2 year old (who is now a happy sleeper...took a lot of work to figure this out!) is to put her to bed at 8 p.m. and her only nap starts around 1 p.m. (and generally lasts 1 1/2 - 2 hours). If she's sick, or recovering from a being sick, that's different and pretty difficult to control (so I just ride it out).
Good luck!

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

According to Dr. Mark Weissbluth ("Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"), 2-year-olds absolutely need naps, and night waking is usually a sign of disturbed sleep patterns and/or being overtired.

The first thing to try is a much earlier bedtime. Move it forward 20 minutes every 4th night - more if he seems tired enough to manage. Aim for 7pm-ish, possibly even earlier. He'll sleep later in the mornings, not earlier. You know you have the right bedtime when moving it 20 minutes earlier leads to waking up 20 minutes earlier.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I would not get rid of his nap, just because of this.
It was his illness that got him off track, not his naps.

He just needs to transition back to his previous "routine." It's not easy for a child either... patience. He's having a hard time too, obviously. He's not waking for the 'fun' of it. And he's obviously tired...perhaps even still recovering from being sick, and his body getting back to normal. So give him time.

As the other responder said... try putting him to bed earlier. He's probably just OVER-tired... and actually, overtired children do NOT sleep well at night and they wake more often. Because it is not a 'quality' sleep. It is a restless sleep. Thus, they have more sleep disturbances when over-tired.

Here is a great link, so that you will know how much sleep a child needs, per age:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-chil...

All the best,
Susan

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

most kids drop the nap between 3 and 4. 2 is a bit young. I'd say his bedtime is late. Try 8 pm. I think your nap is too late, I'm assuming because he wakes up late in the morning. For a day just wake him up by 7 or 8 then you can do nap earlier and reset everything (hopefully).

Also have you justtried laying down in bed with him at night to encourage him to go back to sleep? I wouldn't accept being awake for hours at night, do whatever you have to! Eventually he'll sleep throught the night again and you won't have to worry about making a "crutch" for him.

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D.C.

answers from Honolulu on

What I would do is come up with a schedule which will take a while to get adjusted to.
First of all I will make sure he gets up at about 7 or 8 in the morning I would make breakfast have some play time if you do snack then that is fine if not have lunch at 11:00 a.m. and then go down for the afternoon nap at about 11:30 and then nap from about noon until 1:30 (it will take 30 minutes to calm down for the nap) When he gets up he should have snack and then afternoon play let him play hard so that he is good and tired for that good night's sleep.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
My son is 6 and I'm still not sleeping so I understand! I would stop the afternoon nap. We had to stop it somewhere between 18 months and 2 years because he wouldn't go to sleep at night. We had to keep the first nap early in the day and got rid of the 2nd one and that worked. By the time he started preschool at 3 he was done with naps.

GOod luck! Congrats on the new baby!

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J.V.

answers from Santa Barbara on

No J., I don't think that he's getting too much sleep. A nap of an hour and 1/2 sounds OK to me for his age. If he's still wide awake at 1 or 2- I would keep taking him back to bed. As tired as you'll be, and tempted- I wouldn't let him sleep until 9 or 10- wake up up closer to his usual wake up time. I think it's just a stage that he's going through. I know it's not easy. I think that his cycle got thrown off from being sick. Good luck.

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S.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
My heart goes out to you because I know exactly what you are going through. My son did the same thing, sleeping through the night, then bam. It was over. There are many techniques to use and I would go to the bookstore and see what method is best for you. I did the Ferber method on my first son. It is very hard but things will change. It is better to have is hard for a week or so than to continue with this lack of sleep for you and your son. It is not good for anyone. I would recommend to get him on a shedule. 9:00 may be too late for him and he is getting over tired and therefore waking up. Keep the nap at the same time everyday, as with the bedtime and am waking up time. You can start with 15min increments. He may be cranky when you try to wake him in the am, but in the long run, all will be much happier. For my second son I did the Dr. West...something..sorry I cannot remember his name. He believed opposite from Ferber. He says to meet all their need. Making sure they are not hungy, need a diaper change or just need a hug. Give him all that and then say goodnight and that is it. Do not go in again. Sounds terrible, but it works. He says that if everytime you go in when they cry, they will continue because you come in and reinforce ...if they cry you come back. If he keeps getting out of bed take him back to his bed, tuck him in with kisses and leave. Do it again and again until he realizes that you are not backing down. He needs to stay in bed and sleep. He will get the message and it might take awhile, or he may get the message right away. Good luck
S.

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S.B.

answers from Visalia on

Hi J.,

When my oldest son was two he got really sick and started doing the same thing! I would shorten the nap maybe wake him up and then also maybe keep him up a little later so he is really tired and then maybe he'll sleep through.

My son would watch the same movie everynight when he woke up and I would lay their and pray that someday I would never have to hear that stupid movie again! I can remember thinking if there was ever a Jeprodry Question regarding that movie I would be able to answer every on. Funny how your mind goes crazy in the middle of the night! hang in there sister!!!

Smiles,
Steph

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,
He might just be done with the nap; my daughter also dropped hers at the 2-year mark. We then started putting her to be between 7 & 7:30 p.m. and she wakes up between 6:30 & 7 a.m. So she is still getting the required amount of sleep. If you do drop the nap, you'll notice that he may be a bit sleepy in the afternoon for a bit. But that's ok., his body will be adjusting to the new timeframe. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Although it sounds like your child just got off track from being sick (which happens!) and will get back to normal, I would definitely aim for an earlier bedtime! Like 7-7:30p.m. at this age! I know it seems contrary to what you want to happen but it really does help regulate their sleep and they will sleep longer and better and wake up more "rested". Keep the nap as long as possible, but I'm not sure what time your child naps? Perhaps it needs to be earlier to get him to bed earlier? NO he's not getting too much sleep!! But during this time that he's waking at night, you will just have to be very consistent with putting him back to bed, not letting him come into your bed (unless you want that) otherwise it will quickly become a habit that will be very hard to break! Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? It sounds like his bed time is too late. The doctor who wrote the book says that usually the problem with early risers is that they are going to bed too late. I was researching the same issue this morning for my 15 month old, who started waking up between 2:30 and 4:30 every night the past two weeks because she was sick, and Friday morning woke up for good at 5 am.

You might try putting him to bed 15 minutes earlier each night until he seems to be well rested and sleeps through the night. Good luck!

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L.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,
I agree with others that being sick is what got him off track, not the naps. I also agree that he probably needs an earlier bedtime and an early afternoon nap, but my guess is that the waking in the middle of the night is being reinforced by your attending to him. When he was sick you went in, probably picked him up, etc., etc. And, of course, you can't help but do that, but unfortunately, one of the consequences is subsequent night-waking. Now that he is all better, you've got to stop that. The Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Marc Weissbluth is an excellent book you should check out. It sounds like everything has really been fine up until that virus, so if you can quickly wean him off your attention in the middle of the night and get him down a tad earlier, he'll probably go back to being a great sleeper. I don't know what you are doing when he is up in the middle of the night, so it's hard for me to advise you on exactly what to do, but just start cutting things out until eventually you are not going in at all. For example, if you have been holding him, stop picking him up. Instead, offer to rub his back, but he has to stay lying down. If he goes for it, then the next night, only give him little pats or talk softly to him. Whatever it is, do the absolute bare minimum. Keep the lights off and speak softly. He needs to get the message that it is still nighttime and sleeptime. Over time, you might then just speak to him from the door and then eventually not attend to him at all. Again, just do the bare minimum of what you need to do, so that he settles himself back down and agrees to sleep, and nothing more. Sure, a ride around the block in the car might do the trick, but that's totally overdoing it! Bare minimum is the key. Also, depending on if your child takes to this kind of thing, you might tell him what you plan to do right before you do it, e.g. "Next time, mommy is not going to come back. She's going to stay in her bed and you can stay in yours and go back to sleep." Every kid is different and explaining things might not work for yours, but some kids do better when they know what to expect.

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M.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sleeping seems to always be a tricky thing. I think you should wake him up earlier in the morning...say about 7 or 8 and maybe put him down earlier at night.(the more sleep kids get the "more" better sleep they get. It may not be easy at first and may take about a week or so but it should get him back on track. Most of the time when the kiddos get sick it messes up their sleep. I think that taking that nap away at his age should be the last resort. Just my opinion.

Good luck
MeghanT

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,

Remember that all kids are diffrent, also what works for some doesn't work for all. My 2cents, when he wakes up he has to stay in bed don't get him out not even for a drink, you don't want to start another habbit. Let him cry it out until he realizes that it's still nighttime, tell him it's still dark it's still sleep time so lay here and go back to sleep. I don't think putting him to bed earlier will make him sleep longer. But he shouldn't get to sleep all day this could be the reason he's not tiered all night. Put him back on his schedule, get him up in the morning when he use to get up, get him moving, go to the park or for morning walks till he's up and at'em. Then do the regular nap thing and maybe by bed time he'll be so tiered he'll sleep through the night. But he doesn't get to make new sleeping arrangments for the 2 of you, because I dout you get to sleep till 10:00am. So get him up so that he can get his body back on track.

This always happens to us when they are off track, they get to stay up longer, so 2 nights before they go back to school I have to play the mean card and make them go back to bed early and get up early so that they are tiered when they are suppost to be tiered. It only takes a few nights if they are sleep deprived then they get back to normal faster. If this doesn't work then maybe he has something else going on. Good luck to you! J.

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V.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

homeopathic constitutional treatment will help solve this issue. to find classical homeopath new you: http://nationalcenterforhomeopathy.org/
Good Luck
V

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V.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

When my childre were little & they would have trouble sleeping through the night, I would (put into their bed(s)) either my pillow and/or my pillow case or a nightie I had earlier had on. The smell of a mother is very comforting to their children. This also works when they're sick. Again, the smell of their mother is quite calming/relaxing.
Give it a try. What do you have to loose.
Good Luck My Dear.
V. A.
Mother & Grandmother of 5

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