20 Mo That Doesn't Sleep Through the Night.

I think Dr. Jay Gordon will have some words of comfort for you.

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

I work nights and after reading this, I was so proud to find out that it was something my husband was doing with his own parenting instincts. How empowering for me to tell him this.

One of my friends had the same problem with her daughter. Her pediatrician said it could be night terrors since it's the same pattern every night.

I don't believe in the cry it out method, and it sounds like you don't either.

Hi J.,
We used just a few drops of tylenol for my daughter when she started teething and that put her back to sleep. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide:)
H.

Mom of four here. Sounds absolutely normal to me! Just because a child does something one week/month does not mean he will do it the next. The first several years are FULL of constant changes whether you can see them or not. Physical, emotional, mental... lots of changes going on all the time. You weaned him recently. HUGE change for him. Do not underestimate that. So goes parenthood. It is a matter of being flexible and adjusting as your child changes and grows. Of course, not all parents do that. The My Way or the Highway crowd. But you don't want to be that way. It always backfires sooner or later. Two of mine slept through the night at the age of two, and the other two did not. By the time #2 came along we'd realized that an uninterrupted night's sleep could not be the judge of our quality of life. It was our attitude that had to change. Once we stopped chasing after the dream of an uninterrupted night's sleep, life became much easier. Some weeks/months we got one, some we did not. Good luck!

My daughter is 20 months old as well and likes to wake up at night at the same time too. At her 18 mo. check up, her pediatrician said she should not be waking up adn she shouldn't be hungry. She explained to me that when we go in to her or give her a bottle she is using us as her sleep mechanism and not learning to put herself back to sleep. She said when adults wake up we don't automatically go to the fridge or get up, (at least hopefully not every time). The bottle and us rocking her are her ways of getting back to sleep. When my husband was out of town for two weeks she started waking up every 2 hours. Because he was gone, I babied her and spoiled her. Finally I decided I had to sleep so after letting her cry for two nights in a row, she slept through the night, until daddy got home and she woke up one night, he got up and gave her a bottle and she's been waking up ever since. If I could only get him trained, I know she would sleep again. However, she is also getting her I teeth, so when she wakes up saying Owwie, I know that is a different cry and don't mind getting her then. Many people think it is cruel or have a hard time letting them cry it out, but it does work and it makes sense that they need to learn to put themselves back to sleep. Good Luck!

I have a 20 month old who has slept through the night since she was 4 months old. I think putting him to bed at 11pm may have something to do with it. We put our daughter down at 7:30pm, sometimes she falls asleep right away, sometimes it takes her a while, but we always let her fall asleep on her own. I think that is the key. As far as his afternoon naps, I don't thin that has anything to do with it. I honestly think you are putting him to bed way too late. Try moving his bedtime earlier by 30 minutes every night and see if that helps. Good Luck.

When my twins would not sleep through the night I was advised to get up and vacuum. They knew I was up and around but I was not responding to the call. They got the idea that there would be no response and stopped getting up. I had to go back to work (single mom) so this was the route I chose. You can tell if it is a cry of need or a cry of want. Make your choices on that.

Hi Jodi, I'm not writing because I know what the problem is. I just want to remind you that YOU weaned him recently (not his choice) and that usually causes more neediness problems than three nights worth. Could be teething, could be night terrors... whatever it is, I say do what feels natural and loving, and the phase will pass.

My son is quite a bit younger (9 months), but he used to wake up all the time, and I really had to work with him on his sleeping. I used a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. It's a little disorganized, but will give you several different sleep training methods. It also tells you what your child should and should not be doing with their sleep developmentally at different ages (it goes up through teenagers), so you know what it's okay to expect them to do. It really helped me a lot.

It could be his molars, but honestly I doubt it. Molars coming in is something that would continuously bother him throughout the day, not just at 3am.

I would try eliminating/shortening his afternoon nap. 11pm is waaayyy too late of a bedtime for an almost 2 year old. Around 2 years we moved my son from 2 naps to one nap a day. It will take a few weeks to make the adjustment, but it was so worth it. My son is now 3.5 and we have eliminated naps all together. Whenever he takes a midday nap now for any period of time, he goes to bed late and usually gets up in the middle of the night crying. Once we eliminated his midday nap, he went to bed at his normal time (730PM) and stopped getting up in the middle of night. Of course we still have the occasional nightmare wake up about once a week, but before that he was getting up 3-4 times a week.

You might also want to flip through a couple of baby sleep books. My favorite is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". Another one that I hear a lot about is called the Baby Whisperer. None of these books will have the "Magic Cure" but take what advice you can use from them and do what you think is best for your son.

We also now have a 15 month old daughter and I still re-read "Healthy Sleep Habits" to refresh myself on what my baby is going through at each stage of the game and what my 3 yo is going through as well.

Good Luck!

Hi J., in your request you stated it's the same wake pettern every night, so my question to you is, are you allowing him to get out of bed, and are you getting up with him, I have given this same advice to probably 50 moms, telling them, stop getting up with them, but getting up with them you are setting a patern, they know you will come in so they automatcally wake, my 3 kids cut two year molars and still slept through the night, so if you are getting up with him, you break your pattern and eventually when know one comes in, he will stop waking up, it may take some time, some longer than others, but you have to stand firm, it sounds like this day and age the kids are in charge, instead of the parents it's not supossed to be that way. Hope this helps. J.

We deal with this with our 19-month old daughter. She usually sleeps through the night without waking up if she only takes her late morning nap and not the second nap in the afternoon. Even so, sometimes she still wakes up, and it is usually around 2:00-3:00 A.M. She goes down between 8:00-8:30 P.M. Sometimes my husband goes in and soothes her and she goes back down, sometimes I end up going into the room, let her fall asleep with me in the recliner and then let her stay there while I sleep on the ground with a blanket, sometimes I put her back in the crib.

My kids always changed their sleeping patterns when a change was coming. Like starting to walk. So, molars aren't a crazy notion. I would be going crazy if my kid went to bed at 11!!!! Yikes!

My son had a very simular pattern. we now don't allow him to nap and if he does want a nap he can only sleep for 30 min or so. if he naps he stays up until 10 or 11.

try shortning his nap to only 30 min. also try giving him water in his bed to see if he just needs something to help him get thru the night

Our daughter is 23 months and has only had one nap a day for the last year. Her nap schedule is down by 11:30 and no more than 2 hours long. This way she goes to sleep around 7pm. There are times she wakes up during the night but more often than not she sleeps the whole night through. And yes it could be his molars as our daughter did the same thing. Hang in there!

Oh and I second Weissbluth's book. I refer to it all the time!

Try the Ferber Method. He has a book out.

J.,

My first child was like that. Sleep was a never ending battle. He was over 2 before he slept through the night for the first time and he was over 3 before he slept through the night at least half the time. Now at almost 5 he sleeps through the night most of the time. It seems counter productive but sleep begets sleep. Over tired children don't sleep well. For my son, once we got him on a consistent schedule of a two hour nap and going to be every night by 8 p.m. (and believe me, that was a battle and took months of effort and patience and consistency) he started sleeping better over all. Some kids are natural sleepers, some are not. My son basically had to be systematically taught and conditioned to sleep. If he would get up, we'd put him back to bed. If he'd get up a dozen times, we'd put him back to bed. No power struggle, no discussion, no anger, just matter of fact "back to bed." Since you are expecting your second baby, I'd get on the sleep training now. I have two children and I can tell you getting up with one is tiring but getting up with two is flat out exhausting.

One thing that also helped is when I was pregnant my husband started getting up with my son at night. For whatever reason, once it was daddy and not mommy, waking up wasn't nearly as much fun and it decreased dramatically. LOL

:-)T.

Same question others have: Do you get up with him? The trick is to first let him fuss a bit and see if he can self soothe. Maybe when you go to bed you can put a small bottle of water in his crib for him. Tell him it will be there if he wakes in the middle of the night and is thirsty. Really wait about 3 or 4 minutes. He might be able to settle back down. If not, go in, rub his back for a minute, tell him to rest his body and go back to sleep. Don't pick him up!!!! If he's standing, lay him back down. If he uses a binky have a bunch in the crib for him so that he can use it to self soothe. Have certainty in your actions and he'll respond. If you are uncertain, he'll just get you up and out of bed and doing what he wants. Also, I would try shortening his nap but not doing away with it. You may think this is weird but try putting him to bed earlier. I think when kids go past a certain point you've kind of missed the sleep window and I'm guessing you go past it if you let him stay up until 11 on any day. Good luck!!

I never let my dughter "cry it out", and at 20 months she still doesn't sleep through the night either. She'll sleep through a couple of nights and then up again. She gets up around 7am and takes a nap at 12 for 2-3 hours and then goes to bed at 8 or 9 and that schedule works best for us. He may be over tired, or hungry, or it could be the molars... I think the thing we need to remember is that they're little, and they're not going to be little for much longer. Relish in the fact that you get to hold him and soothe him a little longer than most. I've learned to be thankful for the full nights of rest (for the good of her and for me) and also be thankful for the fact that she loves me so much she wants a quick visit in the middle of the night.

many people seem to think it is all or nothing with the nap time.... truth is, he is probably needing less nap time but that doesn't mean he will not need one from time to time

I have 3 children who all went through various sleep patterns. Whatever the reason is for the wake-ups he still needs you to be there for him. He will outgrow this before you know it! Although, be prepared that he might still be waking after the new baby arrives. Just comfort him as you will your newborn.

There usually seems to be changes in night sleep habits with naptime changes. Maybe you can work on shortening his naps to one a day.

Hi J., I agree with the response under mine. I think that you are putting your son to bed way too late. He is probably waking up because he is over tired. My son goes to bed at 8:00 and wakes up around 8:00 to 8:30 in the morning. Child need a lot of sleep. What time does he get up in the morning? if he is getting up early than he is not getting enough sleep. Try to be very careful because if children are over tired they can have Night Terrors too! I hope this helps and God Bless you and your family!

I think the fact that he is not going to bed until 11pm on the days he naps is a good indicator that he is napping too long in the day. I am hesistant to say he doesn't need a nap because my son always and still needs a lot of sleep. He could easily sleep 10-11 hours at 7 years old. He is super active and works his body hard playing just about every sport imagineable. I think maybe your son's sleep pattern is just a little mixed up and maybe when he wakes at 3 am he thinks it's a nap and he's ready to get up. Try cutting back on his nap time or skip it one day and put him down earlier say 8ish and see what happens. Besides, you need your sleep too and an 11pm bedtimes is not going to work well for you either.

My son didn't sleep through until just before he turned 2. Even then, it hasn't been an all or nothing situation. We are constantly adjusting (sleep with him, sleep in a different room, etc.) to figure out what he needs this week/day. I think that's life! 2 steps forward, 1 step back, if you know what I mean. You could try making sure he gets plenty of exercise in the early evening, particularly on the days that he gets a nap. I know how difficult that is, but maybe a quick run around the park with a friend for 30 minutes before preparing dinner, and then put some music on that he likes to dance to while you're making dinner? If you can dance around/run around as well, that will help get him going. Don't underestimate the disruption that teething will cause! Definitely try putting him to bed earlier, but that NEVER worked for my son. We were all really frustrated and exhausted and ended up staying awake even later than normal. In my opinion, children need nighttime parenting too - leaving them to cry only tells them that they are being ignored. How scary! Sure they give up after a few nights, wouldn't anyone? You can strike a good balance between being "in charge" and meeting your child's needs by listening to him. Check out what Dr. Sears/Dr. Gordon have to say about this topic if you feel similarly. Hang in there and nap along with him (when you can - weekends?) and congrats on the pregnancy!