20 Month Old Getting Out of the Crib and Not Sleeping!

I agree that its time for a bigger bed. One thing you can do is to get the twin mattress and just lay it on the floor without a frame. That way she can get in and out on her own and you don't have to worry about her falling. I don't like toddler beds. We tried one with my son, most nights he ended up on the floor or half on/off. his head/chest would be on the bed, and his waist/feet were on the floor so that he ended up basically standing while he slept.
M.

Have you thought of putting her in a toddler bed. When children start climbing out of there crib then its time to get rid of the crib. She probable feels closed in, so she does what most children do (climb out of the crib). I have a grandson that tipped his crib over so that was the end of the crib for him and he was only 9 mos old. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Hi,
I read everyone's responses and of course, you don't want her hurting herself so you will want to consider a bed, mattress, etc. what everyone has not mentioned is at 20 months kids can develop nightmares or terrors. By not soothing her, you are telling her to learn to deal with them yourself and I am not going to help you. If she feels scared for whatever reason, you want to help her, pat her on the back, play music for her, whatever you think might soothe her. This is just my opinion, but when you leave a child to "cry it out" you are sending the message that you are on your own and we (the parents) are not going to be there for you when you need us. So, that is why she is trying to get out, to safety, to comfort. I have always felt that kids should think of their beds/rooms as a "happy" place. That can only be if they have good thoughts/memories every time they go in there. So, I suggest reading a little about the imagination and nightmares at this age and maybe get some soothing strategies before getting the bed which is simply even easier to get out of and run to your room. Also, on another note...my neighbor's daughter gave up her nap pretty early ( a little over 2 years old) and she slept so much better at night. Make sure she is not napping too long as that also may affect night time sleep.
I hope this was helpful.
S.

Safety first! I'm putting my vote in with the others'. She's ready for a big girl bed! Get it done! Mattress on the floor in the meantime. Someone else said just getting her a new bed might do it. We recently moved and our 4 yr old kept coming into our room at night. We were planning to get her full sized bed anyway, so we did, and she has not come into our room since! She's back to normal.

There's a difference between coldly neglecting your kid and teaching them to self-soothe. You can't be there for them every second of their lives forever; they need to be taught to deal with things on their own. Yes, even this young. I know it breaks the heart, but you are the parent, you need to be strong.

Is she scared, or is she whining because she knows you're going to jump? There seem to be a few Jo Frost fans here, and I'm one of them. She has at least one book out and it has very simple direct advice. Basically, comfort her if she's frightened and explain that nothing is going to happen to her since you and your husband are near. Then when she gets out of bed, calmly put her back in. Repeat as necessary.

If she is having night terrors you need to find out how to deal with that from a professional and press on from there.

Bottom line, who can sleep with a toddler!?!? If you can, you're a better woman than I!

-S. K

hate to tell you this, but its time for a bed for sure. Unfortunately with a bed she can get out easier! But you loose the risk of injury from a fall, my son was 23 months when he got his first bed. and who knows maybe the new bed will be just the thing that keeps makes her happy to go to sleep without a fuss and stay there in her new big girl bed. If not, she'll get used to it, your doing the right thing letting her deal with it when she wakes up at night, just make it clear when you bring in the new bed that it is not acceptable to get up in the middle of the night unless she has to go potty or something of that nature. Do you watch super nanny? If she starts getting out of her bed every night just send her right back without saying a word, or if you exhausted at night like I am, i simply lay a flimsy blanket on the floor and tell my son that he can sleep there if he wakes up, which gets old because its awful uncomfortable.

I agree, it is time for a big girl bed. When we switched our daughter to a bigger bed, she only got out of it a few times, but we brought her back and she went right to sleep.

crib tent! installs over the crib and works great. keeps them safely in and since they can't get out they go to sleep. looooved mine, total sanity saver.

My 18 month old daughter just recently started climbing out of her crib! She's so small that we figured she'd stay in there until she was AT LEAST 2 years old, but she had other ideas! We put a box spring and mattress on her floor (so it's not far to fall if she rolls out) and put pillows all around the edges of the mattress to keep her in the middle. She's been sleeping much better, and not waking up in the middle of the night anymore. Oh, and we have to put a baby gate in her doorway, because she's also figured out how to move the gate from the top of the stairs :)

She is definately done with the crib. The idea for putting the mattress on the floor is a good one. Then you can take your time shopping for a bed and not worry about falling. Scan her room to make sure there is nothing she can pull over on herself (like a bookcase) or any choking hazards (like plastic bags or hsir clips). Then let her loose. As the other moms said, you will need to discipline her to let her know she must stay in her room. Maybe, she can't open door knobs yet? Have fun!!

I agree with the other folks: It's time for the toddler bed. Please don't try to keep her in the crib if she's trying to (and nearly succeeding at) climbing out -- a friend's toddler broke her arm falling as she was climbing out of her crib so I'm a believer in getting them out of the crib when THEY are ready, not when you are ready. Think about how high off the floor a top crib rail really is for a small person!....Good ideas below about mattress on floor, etc. as a precursor to a toddler bed. Make getting her own "big girl bed" a special big-deal shopping trip, let her pick out the linens, play on the new bed, read to her on it, etc. As for teaching her to stay in her room, I would not just close her room door as that might frighten her; try putting a good quality gate on her doorway instead but be aware that she might try to climb over that if she's by nature a climber! When she fusses, and she will, go back repeatedly and patiently to reassure her you are still there on your side of the gate, but perhaps allow a few more minutes to pass between each reassurance visit you make (go back after three minutes...after another five... after another 10...etc.) Moving out of the crib to a bed is one of those change stages that will just take time and commitment from you and your husband--she will not take to this in a few nights, or maybe even a few weeks or months, but eventually she'll be sleeping in her own bed, in her own room. But please don't penalize or discipline her harshly for trouble with the transition --she's less than 2 years old and this is a big change for her. Good luck and have fun picking out a bed with her!

It's time for a big bed. I never used a toddler bed, went right to a twin. My daughter was 19 months and my son was 22 months. When they got their beds, I never showed them how to get up or down.....so they never tried to get out. My son started out with just a mattress on the floor because his bed was on backorder. And a few nights I found him sleeping by the door...like he had been peeking under the door. But when his bed came and the bed rail went on, he never tried getting out.
You just need to reinforce that she has to stay in her bed, she gets out you need to put her right back in.

Hi N.,
I am sorry you are struggling with this dilemma, she certainly is crawling out of the crib early!

First I would put a gate up in her room, so she is not roaming the house at night. Also, put a big pillow below the crib where she gets out. Then, per nanny 911, I would get up at night when she stirs but go in and firmly put her back in her crib. Calmly say, you need to stay in your crib and go to sleep until I come to get you, say night, night and leave. You may need to go in multiple times intermittently during the night the first few nights and repeat this over and over so she is clear there is NO other alternative.

The key is that she is not reinforced for getting out, it simply has no payoff for her. Hopefully, she will get the picture that she is to stay in her crib until you come to get her out. And then reinforce her by saying, I'm so proud of you for staying in your crib - even if it was only from 4-6am!! And please put up the gate so she is not roaming.

I can relate in that my son gave up his nap once he crawled out of the crib, he just wouldn't wind down unless he was trapped. We then took his crib apart, I kind of wish I'd just keep walking him back to his crib.

Ihope you get some sleep soon! My daughter is 2 1/2 but very short but a climber, I know this is just around the corner, so I can try out my own advice.

J. (mom of 3 kids)

If your child is climbing out of their crib you need to get them another bed that is safe, such as a toddler bed, or a regular bed with safety rails. You can start by putting the mattress from the crib on the floor, until you obtain a new bed.

Have you thought about getting her to pick out a big girl bed, with big girl sheets? My son was starting to get upset about sleeping in his bed. So, we got him a twin, instead of a toddler bed (he's 3 now & was outgrowing the toddler bed), and let him pick out his own sheets. Now, he loves to sleep in his own bed & hardly ever puts up a fight. Maybe that'll help your girl want to sleep in her own bed. Good luck & God bless!

My daughter was about that age when she started that, as well. I'd put her in her crib and she used to just cry herself to sleep...one night I did that and cracked the door as I always did and came out into the living room...only to have her come running out of her room crying hysterically. Kinda scary the first time they actually DO climb out of their crib because THEN you are worried how they do it and if they bump their head. Well, the second night I watched her and sure enough she was hiking the leg up over the side of the crib so I held her until she was asleep and she slept through the night. However, I don't recommend holding her till she falls asleep. The next day was THE BIG DAY...I converted her crib into her big girl crib (with a safety railing, too of course) and she began sleeping in her BIG GIRL bed. Unfortunately, it sounds as if it is that time for your little one, too. I have read so many places that when they begin crawling out of their cribs like that then it's time for a big girl/boy bed. The first few nights may be rough. You'll have to sit in the room with them probably until they fall asleep and if they get out in the middle of the night, take them right back in and put them back in their bed. Now, my daughter loves to get into her own bed (I bought her a Dora sheet set because she loves Dora - just to get her to like her bed even more). I hope this helps you out - Good luck with it! :-)

Hi N.,

Baby is ready for a toddler bed.

Parent is to get ready for disciplining baby to stay in toddler bed.

Get involved with a parenting support group.

Take some parenting classes to teach you to know the difference when to nurture and when to discipline.

www.kidspriorityone.org will help with finding both.

Good luck. D.